about us

"I think I love you"

tulala akong nakatingin sa kisame, paulit-ulit na iniisip ang mga salitang hindi ko alam kung may katotohanan ba o guni-guni ko lang.

But how could I be mistaken? How could someone misheard a five letter sentence?

It could be 'I reek labuyo', for all I know, right?

Hindi ko maiwasang huminga nalang ng malalim.

Long weekend ngayon, the party was scheduled a day before the holiday followed by weekend, kaya naman bagot na bagot na ako, ilang beses ko nang nahawakan ang gitara ko sa araw na ito, that means I have nothing to do.

Hay, I'm waiting for Gia to call pero alam kong kasama niya si Shiloh, aaaah. Kahit assignment ay papatusin ko na talaga, ngayon lang yata ako nanghinayang na walang homework eh, naalala ko tuloy 'yung mga phone calls namin ni Sab. It's been a while.

miss mo lang siya eh.

"What the hell?" Banggit ko sa sarili matapos pumasok ang mga salitang iyon ng biglaan sa isip ko. I shut my eyes close.

"Joan"

Agad ko naman itong minulat ng marinig ko ang tawag ni mama. Yes she's here, it's holiday eh, one of the few moments a year na nakakasama ko si mama.  Agad akong lumabas sa kwarto at bumaba, I saw her putting pasta on the table, it made me smile.

"Let's eat" aya niya. My mom was never the talkative type, and I like that about her. Oo mayroon kaming kulitan but most of the time we share moments like this, and I find it comforting, compared to parents who keeps on prying on their child's life, my mom doesn't, of course she's not neglecting me but I'm just as happy kapag nangungumusta siya o kaya naman tahimik lang. I feel safe around her silence.

"Bakit hindi mo papuntahin ang kaibigan mo dito?"

"Po? Ah si Gia, she's busy, she's with her girl— friends" muntikan na

She nodded "but I'm talking about the one you're with, sa field" she said without even looking at me

"a-ah.. si Sabrina po" hindi ko maiwasang hindi mailang gayung hindi na kami nag usap ni mama ulit tungkol doon, we went home silently that night, she didn't even asked too much, just this and that like how was the party or if I had fun, at kaunting paalala not to stay outside that late...not a single thing about sab or whatever that's related to her or to us, or that night.

Hindi ko pa siya kinakausap simula nung gabing 'yun, isang araw pa lang din naman ang nakalipas.

"So Sabrina ang pangalan ng girlfriend mo?"

agad akong nasamid sa kinakain ko, my mom silently poured me a glass of water and signalled me to drink pagkatapos niyang haplosin ang likod ko.

"H-Ho? Hindi ko po siya girlfriend ma" giit ko ng may pagtawa at kaba "we're just friends"

"Doesn't look like one to me"

"ang alin po? I mean we're both girls, isn't that obvious enough?" sumubo ulit ako ng pasta trying not to look so invested sa usapan namin

"If you say so" she paused "but friends don't bring you out to picnic at 12 am with alarm on her phone labeled by your med time." She stood up at dinala ang plato niya sa lababo, washing her plate "girls, boys whatever, kapag gusto mo at mabuting tao, dalhin mo dito, I don't mind having a company." She gently put her plate on the dish rack at agad pinunasan ang basa niyang kamay "but I just realized, I won't let you lock your room even if you're with a girl"

My mouth was agape, hindi makapaniwala sa huli niyang sinabi "Maaa!"

When she's finally gone, agad akong napaisip. Did Sabrina really have an alarm on her phone with my med time? Imposible.

Pero paano nga?

Hindi pa ako nagpapasalamat sa kaniya last night, but Shiloh said na nag out of town daw sila, I'd hate to disturb her.

Pagkatapos kong kumain agad akong bumalik sa kwarto, habang nasa hagdan ay narinig kong tumunog ang phone ko, agad akong tumakbo pero bago paman ako makapasok nakita ko si mama na papalabas din ng kwarto niya and she's side-eyeing me full of suspicions.

"Ma! Stop! Hindi ako bakla!" After saying that pumasok na ako and jumped at my bed kung nasaan ang phone ko. Didn't even check the callers name cause I don't want to jinx it.

"Hello?" I said slowly

"Joooo!"

Agad kong nilayo sa tenga ang phone ko, kainis may pasigaw pa eh alam na phone call

"Yes?"

"Oh sorry, hey it's Maya, ibang phone 'yung gamit ko, anyway, I'm just hoping if you're free today? Can we meet?"

"ah ate Maya" napaisip muna ako, wala naman akong ginagawa at lalong mas ayaw kong kausap si mama dahil mangungulit lang 'yun "I'm free, where should I meet you?"

...

"Hi Jo!" bati niya at agad nag-beso, ate maya is really friendly she should be Sabrina's mentor...

Sabrina na naman?

Pero mas gusto ko naman na ganoon si Sabrina, I mean not not friendly, I'm just saying na I like the way she is...

oy may like na?

Shut up brain.

"go sit there, just tell me what you want to order first"

Nandito kami ngayon sa coffee shop, she told me she wanted to talk about something. After kong nakapili, I headed to the table she pointed at umupo na, sumunod din naman siya

"they'll serve it lang if it's ready na" she said sabay upo "so how have you been? after mong kumanta sa party hindi na kita nahagilap.."

ate maya is wearing a red bayonetta glasses, complemented with her black top and jorts...as they call it, she's really pretty kaya naman whenever we pass by nakakanakaw talaga siya ng tingin, she's cute size and she's got a long brownish curly hair, parang chibi lang, 'yung kawaii kawaii anime girly, ganern.

I let out a short laugh "yes, nagka emergency lang...I mean not really an emergency, I just.."

"You went out" she said habang nakangisi

"h-ha?" Pagmamaang-maangan ko, pero talagang nakakagulat kung alam niya

"You ditched the party.....like I did?"

"What?"

We looked at each other and laugh

the food is here and I saw Ate Geo, she's the one who's serving us our food na ikinagulat ko "ate Geo?"

"Hey Jo" she smiled

"You work here?" Agad kong naitanong "gosh that's so cool"

they both chuckle "kinda, she owns the place" ate Maya answered

My eyes widen "what the heck, really?"

"Yes really, and I have to go help at the kitchen, enjoy the food, it's on me"

After that she left....is it just me or did she smiled longer kay ate Maya? well, who cares there's free food!

"It's good" anya ko

"It better be" she chuckled "she spent a lot of time trying to perfect their craft here kaya naman I'm happy that it's paying off"

"wow, I still can't believe she owns this place ate Maya, how about you, lage ka ba dito?"

"hindi naman, may gigs din kasi ako and Geo plays music din here every Tuesday and Thursday, speaking of music, this is what I want to talk about" she paused trying to think of the right words to say "Jo have you made up your mind na ba? I'm sorry if you feel like I'm rushing you"

natahimik ako, I really want to play music but the problem is..."I have stage fright"

Ate maya smiles softly "we all have that, but are you sure na 'yan lang ang mararamdaman mo sa stage? yes fear is always there, pero ganun rin ang saya, the burning passion within you, and I know you loved it when we performed last time, damang-dama ko, even the audience felt the connection, and I just can't sleep knowing that you'd only known fear and nothing else if you continue being this way..."

She reached for my hand "fear is not the only thing there is, believe me..."

After that ate maya let go of me, it might seem unnoticeable but I know she did it a little swiftly, when ate Geo arrived suddenly and sat next to her "so how's the food?"

"It's really good, gosh if only I've known na may shop ka pala ate Geo edi sana tumambay na ako rito noon pa"

ngumiti siya ng malapad and her eyes became moon shaped, she's really pretty too, unlike ate maya she have this cool aura, a fusion of masculine and feminine energy and she has a really unique beauty, ako lang yata ang nagmumukhang simpleng tao dito.

"Good to know na you liked the food and you can always hangout here whenever you want dalhin mo na rin mga friends mo dito, I'll give you a discount" she said while casually sipping on ate Maya's drink...which I tried not to think too much about, because friends does that right? Right.

"Even if you won't I'll make sure to bring them here!"

...

"sa'n tayo?"

"Punta tayong KTV?"

"Is it okay for you Jo?"

I was hesitant first pero tumango nalang din ako

We're heading sa parking lot kung saan naka park ang kotse ni ate Maya and the world didn't disappoint when I saw two familiar figures, but, I think they're on a date ayaw ko naman silang disturbohin—

"GIA!" I was surprised when ate maya called her, hindi lang naman pala ako ang nakapansin sa kanila, Gia saw us and waved, ganoon din si Shiloh, now they're walking towards us

Gia hugged me "hey" bati niya

"Hi G" bati ko din ng may kasamang matamis na ngiti, miss ko na 'tong baklang to eh

Shiloh and I exchanged smiles, and knowing Shiloh syempre may kasamang kurot "hi Jo!" She came closer and whispered "I feel like you owe me chika" then giggled

I was confused but then, oh no...is this about what happened last night "I don't know what you're talking about" I fake

She smirked "stop playing dumb.."

Nagbatian na muna kami at napunta na sa tanongan

"May ginagawa ba kayo?" Ate Geo

"You can join us if you're not busy! papunta kaming KTV" ,ate Maya

"If it's okay with you guys? But we have to buy something pa, just send us the address we'll be there" Gia

"Sure!" ate maya said enthusiastically

...

We arrived around 1 PM, we ordered food narin

"Comfort room lang ako ate" I said while they were busy looking for songs

Agad akong lumabas and it's late for me to realize na hindi pala ako pamilyar dito, hay ang tanga, I didn't asked kung saan ba ang comfort room pero ayaw ko nang bumalik pa sa loob, I've decided to look for it myself, umabot ako sa dulong may pinto, I opened it and to my surprised, I saw a brunette girl on top of a red headed...girl, tongue-tied together, LITERALLY. They look at my direction, shocked

"I-I'm sorry" then, I slammed the door.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Agad akong tumakbo papalayo not looking back when I hit someone

"Ouch!"

"Aray!"

We said in sync

When I composed myself, agad akong natulala sa nakasalubong ko

"Sab.."

"Jo...Are you okay?" She stepped forward, agad niya akong hinawakan, checking on me and gently caressing me, hindi ko maiwasang tumingin sa mga kamay niyang nasa braso ko and she pulled it right away.. "sorry" she quietly said

"Anyway" her lips formed into a smile "Hi, Jo. It's been a while, I mean it's been just 2 days and 1 night but still... right? what am I talking about" she laughed dryly "I'm just.. I'm happy you're here, kamusta ka?"

I don't know what to say, looking at her is watching everything in the background lose focus, na para bang nag b-blur ang paligid at nakatuon lang ang mundo sa kaniya, I can't hear a word she's saying, rather, all I can notice is how her pink heart-shaped lips move, how her scent lingers to this place the longer we stay here at kung paano ako natutunaw sa mga tingin niya.

Do I look okay? I mean, I think I look decent, I'm just wearing a baggy jeans at simpleng white fitted top, while she's.... gosh, she's smoking hot I'm not even exaggerating... I'm just, teka bakit ba ako na iinsecure bigla?

I gulped realizing na I've been quiet for a long time

"I...I-I erm." Fuck why am I stuttering? "I was just— Sab, I-ah.... I missed you."

And yes, I slipped.