Chapter 16: Chapter 16

Damon arrived at the same time as he had the day before, cloak cinched tight, arms folded; a haughty, surly figure in the morning gloom.

Clara nudged Lilitha hard in the ribs.

“Why don’t ~you~ ask him?” Lilitha hissed as they followed him.

Clara gave her a sarcastic look. Lilitha sighed. He was facing away and didn’t seem to hear her as she caught up with him. “Can we talk?” she said, touching his arm.

He glanced over his shoulder and moved aside to give her some space. “What’s on your mind?”

A hot flush burned Lilitha’s ears as she suddenly remembered last night. She cleared her throat. “Why do you hate us so much?”

He jerked his head toward her. “I don’t hate you.”

“Clara, then.”

“I don’t hate her. I just don’t like her.”

“Why?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Okay. Then why do you like ~me~?”

“You’re different.”

“How?”

He didn’t answer.

They walked quietly. Behind them, Clara was quieter still. Lilitha carefully stepped over a protruding root. A branch caught at her hair. Damon helped to untangle her.

“Where did you go last night?” she asked him.

“If you want me to answer your questions, then you need to answer some of mine.”

“Fine. What do you want to know?”

“Your parents, who are they?”

“My mother is dead. I never knew her.”

“How did she die?”

“By giving birth to me.” Even now, after all her nineteen years, she couldn’t keep the thickness out of her voice. She tugged at her red hair.

“It must be where I get this from. My father looks nothing like me. He doesn’t like to talk about her.”

“And your father?”

“There’s nothing to say. He…he…” She shrugged. “I don’t think he ever really wanted me. I—I think he blames me for what I did to her.”

That was a lie. She ~knew~ he blamed her for it. He reminded her of it every day.

“He told you that?”

She nodded. Lilitha kept her eyes on the ground, feeling his eyes boring into the side of her head.

“Has he hurt you?”

Lilitha looked up at him with a start. How did he know so much?

“Tell me,” he said.

“Why? What’s the point?” Lilitha raked her fingers through her hair and saw that they were trembling. “Why do I feel so damn hot!” He looked at her.

Ripping off her cloak, she drew back to Clara without asking him any more questions.

“Are you okay?” Clara whispered.

Lilitha wiped the sweat from her forehead. “I just… I just want to rest.”

“Tell him to stop.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Lilitha often dreamed about it—going to bed and closing her eyes and never waking up again.

Their journey was mostly silent. Clouds amassed through the branches above, making it so dark that it seemed like night was coming early.

There came the light patter of rain. Soon it began to pound. Lilitha pulled her cloak back on. Clara gripped her arm as the ground turned slippery.

Close to noon, Damon vanished on another mysterious expedition.

The two women sat huddled beneath a tree with a broad canopy, pink and purple flowers squashed beneath them, pasting the ground in color.

They shared the food they’d scavenged along the way. Lilitha didn’t really taste any of it. She suddenly thought of the food Damon had cooked her. That delicious meat.

She stared at their bunch of nuts and berries, feeling miserable.

Clara kept shooting her anxious glances, but Lilitha hunched over her meal and ignored her. When she was done, she wrapped herself in her cloak and tried to rest.

Damon returned.

All morning they had followed flat terrain, but now the slope returned, and they labored upward. Lilitha was troubled.

If their destination truly was Mainstry, then they should be leaving the slopes, not climbing more, shouldn’t they?

The rain had lessened to a drizzle by the time they stopped for the night, the cold so biting that Lilitha had to warm her nose with her hand.

Wrapping herself in her cloak, she lay down but couldn’t sleep. She was so sick of the wet. She was so sick of the discomfort. She was so sick of her hunger.

She could tell Clara was struggling just as much, tossing and turning, her breathing erratic.

Giving up, Lilitha got to her feet. Clara opened her eyes.

“Just need to pee,” Lilitha told her.

The trees towered above, stretching toward a moon veiled behind a thick wall of clouds. Mud squished beneath her boots.

Branches sagged, wet and dripping. Except for the lonely hoot of an owl and the rustling of wet leaves, it was silent.

“Lilitha,” came a whisper.

Lilitha spun around, clutching her chest. “Damon, you’re back.”

“And you’re awake.” He stood with his arms limp by his sides, hood pulled low over his face as always.

“I couldn’t sleep.” Still annoyed at him, she turned to leave.

“I’m sorry for prying. It was not my business.”

She stopped. “No, it wasn’t.”

“Whatever he’s done to you, I’ll make him pay.” And his voice was so low it was almost a growl. It made the hair stand up on her arms.

A shiver raced down her spine. There was something about him, in his voice, in his smell, in his mere presence that made her want to get closer.

Clara was right. Lilitha ~did~ like him. Perceptive as always. Clearly more perceptive than Lilitha was.

He stepped toward her, and Lilitha stepped back.

“I don’t know who you are,” she said.

“I want you to get to know me. I asked before, remember? Come with me.” He held out her hand. “Come with me and you’ll never be alone again. You’ll never know suffering again.”

Lilitha stared at his hand. “I can’t leave Clara.”

Sweat was prickling under her cloak. A strangely warm breeze made the leaves rustle, sending a shower of water down upon them both.

He stepped in close, towering over her, and this time Lilitha didn’t step away. The heat of his body seemed to blaze right through her cloak, making her sweating worse.

Lilitha sucked in a breath as he touched her cheek. His hand was so warm and big and wonderful. Lilitha had to resist the urge to turn her lips into his palm.

“I want to kiss you,” he said.

He stepped closer still. Lilitha tilted her face, catching just a glimpse of the shape of his nose and the glimmer of his eyes. He turned his head away so she couldn’t see more.

He leaned in again, avoiding her lips, pressing his mouth onto her shoulder instead. Lilitha grabbed onto him with a gasp. Then he was wrapping his arms around her, nuzzling the side of her neck.

Lilitha closed her eyes.

She was sweltering now, her cloak sticking against her. She thought of him in the bushes last night. Had he been imagining her as he did it? The thought sent a fiery heat lashing through her.

Lilitha pulled away. “I need to… I need to get this off.” She yanked off her cloak, then shook out her sweaty hair. “I’m so hot. Why do I feel so hot?”

“It’s normal,” he said. “It’s a good thing.”

“Huh?”

Sucking in a breath, she dropped into a crouch at a sudden stabbing pain in her belly. It lasted only moments before abruptly vanishing.

Panting, she tried to stand, only to crouch back down again. “Stop it!” She gripped at her backside. It was weird. Her father’s beating should be a lot better by now, not getting worse.

Damon crouched down in front of her. “Don’t be afraid. It’s normal.”

“You…you know what’s happening to me?”

“Yes.” He brushed his thumbs over her cheeks. “Breathe deeply. Give it a moment.”

Closing her eyes, Lilitha breathed in, then released her breath slowly. Remarkably, it was working. The pain was easing. She jerked back at the feel of something soft against her lips.

~His~ lips. She snapped open her eyes but he’d already pulled away. His eyes were shining within the darkness of his hood.

“You don’t know how hard this has been for me,” he said. “This agony of a pointless venture with you by my side, so close, and yet so far beyond my reach.”

He leaned in again and Lilitha didn’t stop him as he kissed her throat, his lips gentle and soft, his tongue leaving a trail of wetness behind. Lilitha’s body felt like it was humming.

Gently, he pushed her to the ground, the forest floor cold and soggy against her back. He kneeled beside her.

“You’ve known too much pain, Lilitha. You should know love for a change.”

The air choked in Lilitha’s throat as he leaned in to kiss her again.

She jerked upright. “No.”

He pulled back. “Why?”

She crossed her legs, the damp ground wetting her skirts. “I don’t know you.” And then there was Mandalay and there was Clara and there was her father. Her life.

She was out in the woods, thrown to the monsters and about to know love with a strange, angry man whose face she couldn’t even see.

None of this was sensible.

Damon was watching her quietly. She could almost feel his annoyance, his frustration radiating through his cloak. The only men in her life had mistreated her. What if he was the same?

He was ~likely~ the same. Moonlight was streaming through the leaves, glancing against her damp skin, shining against Damon’s big hands.

He leaned over, but not to kiss her. He dropped his head into her lap with a sigh. Lilitha’s heart was beating fast. Her hand was trembling as she laid it upon his head.

She frowned, feeling something unusual. She was about to run her fingers over him when Damon wrenched away and sat up, pulling his hood farther over his face.

They both turned at the sound of movement. A hooded figure was watching them through the trees. Then it turned and walked away.

She got up and left Damon behind. “Clara, wait up.” Lilitha grabbed her shoulder. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Didn’t look like it,” Clara snapped.

Lilitha stepped back with a start.

“Maybe you ~should~ stay,” her friend said. “Maybe you ~should~ just stay here with him. Out here. With the monsters.”

“Why are you so angry?”

“Don’t you know? How have you not ~known~?” Her eyes were shining furiously.

“You mean…you mean the waterfall?”

Clara looked away.

“But we were just scared. It meant nothing.” Lilitha winced. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.”

“I know what you meant. I’m such an idiot.”

“No, you’re not.”

Clara stepped away. It was starting to rain, pattering lightly upon their heads. Clara’s eyes were bright—and hard. Her mouth was thin.

“When we get to Mainstry, ~if~ we get to Mainstry, we must go our separate ways.”

“What? No! Clara.” Lilitha went to grab her hand, but she pulled away.

“It’s the best way. The best way for me. You can be with Damon then…if you want.” And Lilitha could hear the mockery in her voice.

“But I don’t want to be with him.”

Clara snorted.

Lilitha could only watch, aghast, as she walked away. The rain began to pour. Lilitha didn’t move, frozen to the spot.

It was as though an anvil was weighing down upon her, crushing the will out of her.

She heard footsteps. Damon threw her cloak around her shoulders. “You need rest and warmth. You cannot reach Mainstry in good time if you’re weary and frostbitten.”

“I don’t care about Mainstry. If we get to Mainstry now, I’ll lose Clara forever.”

“What’s your plan then?”

“Delay. You can do that for me, can’t you? Just give us a little time to make up.”

“And what of us?”

Lilitha lowered her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m just… It’s not doable.”

He was silent a long moment. “It could not be more well-timed. It just so happens that I have some business to attend to.”

Lilitha’s eyes shot up. “You’re…you’re leaving? You can’t leave us alone. What about the monsters?”

“You’ll be fine. And like I said before, there are ~no~ monsters here.” He paused. His voice deepened. “You are not alone, if it makes you feel better.”

“What do you mean?”

He didn’t elaborate.

“Don’t go,” she took his hand. Damon looked down at it. Gently, he pulled it away. “See you soon.”

He left.