CHAPTER TWENTY

"You see, Your Highness?" Grimdar asked. "This really was the best option."

Thousands of paces in the sky, Jin disagreed wholeheartedly. She gave a non-committal grunt, even though it was unlikely Grimdar could hear any response she might give. Jin reclined against one of Grimdar's larger dorsal scales. It made for a decent backrest but did little to alleviate the real problem.

Months ago, Jin once overheard Enfri speculate to Ban and Moon about Jin's apparent aversion to flying with a dragon. She'd guessed that Jin, like Reyn, had a fear of heights. Another possibility was that it had to do with her upbringing as a royal assassin, and there was a deeply ingrained mistrust of the mighty. Jin hadn't disabused her of those notions then, because the truth was far more embarrassing.

A fear of heights was ludicrous. Jin had spent, by far, the greatest portion of her life living and going about her days in the Palace of Towers, literally a league above the ground. Jin hadn't truly understood what the ground even was until she turned seven. Her childhood had been on the walkways and skybridges in the City of Althandor. Jin couldn't imagine a lifetime resident of the Spired City ever having a fear of heights. They would die of a heart attack before coming of age.

As for a dislike of dragons, that was just as ridiculous. She'd never been taught to hate dragons, but to respect them as foes of immense power. Jin had since become friendly with dozens of them over the past year, and she even loved one in particular as dearly as her own mother. The truth of why Jin avoided flying was more basic than that.

She got motion sickness.

Presently, Jin was more uncomfortable than she could remember being for a long time. The undulation of Grimdar's wing beats, the clawing need within her oren-starved body, and the full arrival of her monthly cramps drove her to distraction. In short, Jin felt awfully cranky.

Swallowing her gorge, she hoped it would all be over soon. Another part of why this particular flight was so dreadful was that it prevented her from taking Maya's oren. The vials wouldn't do her much good if she just ended up unleashing what she drank over Grimdar's side. Better to wait until setting down for the night. Then, Jin could slake her need for it.

By her estimation, they would reach Marwin sometime around midday tomorrow. Larger dragons could travel approximately a hundred and fifty leagues with a long day's flight. Some, such as Adar the Ascendent, were adept enough with aeromancy to manipulate the winds and be able to go as far as three hundred leagues. Almo the Rampart was capable of an astonishing five hundred. Unfortunately for Jin, Grimdar had never had much use for flying at incredible speed. She supposed she should've been grateful he'd brought his flight harness when he followed her into the Miracle.

He came outfitted as if for battle. His full regalia included moulded plates of armor guarding his vitals, a segmented breastplate, and a thick skullcap. There were mountings on his shoulders and haunches for ballistae, an elaborate saddle for the knight commanding his crew, and thick cargo nets that hung beneath his belly. Jin was somewhat surprised he'd kept it all with him in a holding spell all this time.

Grimdar gave her a harness of her own, one with attached tethers and snap-locks to secure her to his back. Jin didn't find it necessary. The Gladiator was larger than many sailing ships, so Jin had all the room she could ask for.

"Highness, I would suggest you get some rest." Grimdar gave his wings a powerful beat before settling into another long glide. "Follow Scorpion's example."

Jin strode up to the nape of Grimdar's neck and leaned against the saddle. "I doubt I could without the same assistance," she shouted over the wind.

Grimdar chuckled. "I could've used the same slumber incantation on you, but I believe the assassins' oren would've prevented it."

Jin felt her eye twitch. At the moment, her imprint was as vulnerable as anyone's, and it was becoming a sore point with her.

"Is Scorpion well-situated?" Jin asked to take her mind away from surly thoughts. She leaned forward over Grimdar's shoulder to peer down. She couldn't quite see where Scorpion rested in the cargo nets from this angle, but she didn't feel like climbing down to check. The nets swayed terribly.

"Peaceful as a lamb," Grimdar assured her, "as is his companion."

Jin frowned. She truly wished Grimdar would've left the scale lion behind. He'd already tended the creature as best he could, so there was no reason to keep it along. Then again, once someone took responsibility for another's health, they never failed to get a little overbearing about it. At least, that had been Jin's experience with healers.

"You needn't worry, Highness," Grimdar said. "Both Scorpion and Uraraneida are tethered and secure. I won't let either fall."

Jin blinked. "Uraraneida? You named it?"

"I have to call her something, and 'hey, you' wasn't going to work forever."

"What manner of name is Uraraneida? Is it a dragon name?"

Grimdar chuckled. "No. I may have followed your example of naming your animals for arachnids. An uraraneida is a relative of spiders native to the far north. Similar in appearance, only they have a whip-like tail."

Jin wasn't fond of the image she had in her mind, nor did she like Grimdar getting attached. After having her insides pulled outside by a scale lion, Jin would prefer to keep a few hundred leagues between her and any others, but it would be pointless to argue. "Uraraneida is too long a name."

"You think so?"

"I do. Shorten it to Ura."

Grimdar hummed. "I don't know if you're aware, but 'ura' means 'light' in the ancient dragon songs. As in sunlight, not weight."

"I was not aware, no."

"Still, it's a good name. As you say, Highness. Her name is Ura."

Jin fought to keep herself from scowling. She didn't appreciate Grimdar making it sound as if she named the blustering creature. While fuming over it, Jin raised her eyes to look at the distant horizon.

The savannah was far behind them already. Ahead, the northern regions of ancient Shan Alee became arid and rocky. Even after its rejuvenation, this area remained a desert. Just not quite as harsh and forbidding of one. There was plentiful flora in the form of hardy brush and tangles of thick, green vines gathering about sources of water. On the Opalescent Road below, the cisterns of crystal fountains were often choked with vines. Jin imagined that maintaining the highway had been a full-time job for many slaves of the old empire.

Canyons and ravines often slashed across the landscape, holding pooling shadow and providing shelter from the desert sun. Though they'd been filled with sand the last time Jin came through this part of the world, she could still spot rock formations that pulled at her memory.

Jin furrowed her brow. Yes, she did recognize several of these landmarks. She looked east and saw where the land became green again, as well as the city emerging on the desert's edge. The Desert City of New Sandharbor couldn't be more than eighty leagues off.

"Lord Gladiator," Jin called, "how far have we gone?"

"Perhaps seventy leagues since sunrise. Why?"

That didn't match with Jin's map. She went to her pack beside the saddle and pulled out a large roll of sheet parchment. "We started three hundred leagues from New Sandharbor, did we not?"

"Closer to a hundred fifty. Did you perhaps confuse the Ikar River for the Dernavast?"

Jin frowned. "They did not have names when I bought the map."

"You didn't by chance purchase it from the first wave of settlers, did you?"

"Is that important?"

Grimdar gave his wings another beat. "I'm afraid the earlier maps were inaccurate. They were made from House Algara's records of the old empire's topography. While more is correct than not, the first minister's rejuvenation didn't make for a perfect recreation."

Jin sighed. She should've realized. Each time she came across something the map hadn't accounted for, she assumed a mistake on her part.

Grimdar's hand reached around his back. A second roll of parchment was held delicately between two massive claws. "Here, Highness. Use mine."

Jin reached up to take the map, then held it on top of hers to compare them. She nodded as she traced her route over them both and saw where she made errors in her navigation. There were more rivers in the Miracle than she thought. Whenever she came across one, she'd mistakenly thought she'd gone off-course and circled around. Her trek from the southern regions towards the north had actually taken her further than she believed.

"I should have stayed on the road," she muttered. Jin put away her map and rolled up Grimdar's. She returned to the nape of his neck and shouted over the wind. "You must have thought I was completely lost."

"I had no idea at all what you were up to," Grimdar said. "I assumed you knew what you were about."

Jin sighed. "Even had I known exactly where I was, it would have made little difference. The destinations came at a whim. More often than not, I simply chose a direction and set off."

Grimdar fell into a thoughtful silence before speaking again. "Why did you go to the Miracle, Highness? Lady Starra and I speculated often, but we couldn't uncover your reasons."

"There was no reason," Jin said. "None beyond isolation."

Grimdar didn't ask anything more, and Jin was grateful.

I was looking for a place to die, she thought. Only, death never came.

Her hands shook. She could feel the need coming to a head. It would claim her again soon.

"We must be near to Marwin," Jin said. She clenched her fists to stop the tremors. "How much further?"

"Twenty leagues," Grimdar said. "A full day's easy walk, but perhaps an hour and a half on the wing. Less, if you don't mind a rough ride."

"I am no hurry," Jin said. The ride was plenty rough already.

Jin shielded the sun from her face as she looked ahead. Her eyes scanned the north, seeking out a particular landmark. If memory served, it would be obvious even in this new world. She hadn't looked for it long when she found the great sentinel spire of Marwin. It rose from the arid land like the finger of a giant, but it wasn't the same spire Jin remembered.

Green and white clung to its distant surface, plants sprouting from the enormous pillar of sandstone and little waterfalls cascading down the sides. The waters rushed down into a great oasis at its base, and around that...

Jin nearly gasped. All but a third of Marwin was a charred, blackened scar of a wasteland. Not even the Miracle had been able to fully reclaim what was destroyed. The ancient city, once the rival of any but the greatest modern cities, had been scoured down to the bedrock with dragon fire. Jin knew what to expect from the reports given by those who'd seen it since, but she hadn't appreciated the enormity of the destruction until seeing it with her own eyes.

"We caused this," Jin said. "When my sister and I fought Deebee, our battle leveled much of the ruins."

"And the Storyteller's flames continued to burn long after your departure," Grimdar said. "Deebee confessed to stoking the fires even further after your battle concluded, out of rage for the secrets kept from us by our elders. Even stone is aught but fuel for dragon fire."

Grimdar beat his wings again, only there was a touch of anxiety to the motion.

"Drat," he grumbled. "Grew too used to having lookouts keeping watch for me. I didn't see them."

Jin furrowed her brow. "See whom?"

"At zero-eight-five, Highness. Off the starboard side."

Jin turned to look east, in the direction of New Sandharbor. She had to manifest an ocular enhancement for her vision to cross the distance, but she found them easily enough.

Three white dragons flew in formation on an intercept course.

They were crewed, perhaps ten to fifteen aviators to a dragon. Whites were smaller than most other chromas, but they were swift and nimble in the sky. That was largely why the Quartz Knights took on the roles of scouts and border watch.

Jin recognized two of the dragons. Tormaka the Wanderer led the formation. His mate, the Seeker, flew on his port side. Jin didn't know the third on sight.

"It's because of my long absence, Highness," Grimdar said. "Only Lady Starra, the Storyteller, and my Eldest know of where I really went. The Quartz Knights are likely coming to ask for an explanation."

"Dragon Lord Grellin will be with his Wanderer," Jin said. "Will this be a problem?"

Grimdar uttered an incantation. Upon its completion, he spoke into his sending. "I seek Tormaka the Wanderer."

Jin wasn't paying attention as Grimdar and the Wanderer conversed by sending. She watched the approaching dragons with trepidation.

She'd told Enfri where she meant to go. Enfri knew Grimdar was with her. Either she hadn't passed that information along to the knighthoods, or...

Or, she did tell them, and I've stepped into an ambush.

Jin rebuked herself immediately for thinking it, but the ugly idea still clung to the inside of her skull. Even now, after all she'd seen and heard and received the day before...

"The trust bone hasn't healed yet," Jin said under her breath. That Ban's ridiculous metaphor seemed to be sticking was almost as galling as her irrational behavior.

It wasn't until she saw the Quartz formation bank and change course that she felt able to breathe again. Their curiosity sated, Grellin and the Wanderer led their formation back to Sandharbor.

"What did you tell them?" Jin asked.

"The truth, Highness," Grimdar said. "I am on an errand for my Eldest, and I expect to return to Shan Alee within a few days."

Jin looked back to the Quartzes. "Did you tell them of me?"

"No, I didn't. Should I have?"

Jin chewed anxiously on her cheek. "I cannot say for certain, but I believe you made the right call to save answers for the right questions."

He turned his head to look at her on his back. "If I may ask, Highness, did something happen yesterday? I would've expected more... happiness... from someone able to go back home."

Jin sat down on the saddle. She didn't mount it but instead sat sidesaddle with arms and legs crossed. "My return was not as I expected it to be. Granted, I did not expect to return at all, but even so, things did not go as I assumed they would."

"How's that?"

Jin snorted. "I was not placed under seals and thrown into a dungeon to await tribunal."

"Highness, you must know how much you are loved by the empress. By most everyone."

"Love cannot erase what I've done, Lord Gladiator. No amount of forgiveness can return the dead to life."

Grimdar clucked his tongue.

Jin narrowed her eyes. "You disagree?"

"No, Highness. I'm merely astonished at your arrogance."

"I beg your pardon?"

He sighed. "You seem to be of the delusion that anything you did or failed to do had any relevance. I lost a brother at Sandharbor, Highness. I lost friends and comrades, both mighty and mortal. I would have lost more if not for you."

"There would not have been a battle at all."

"Oh, yes. Of course. How foolish of me to doubt that Omolade would've had a change of heart if there could've only been one more round of parlay." He shot her a glare over his shoulder. "Whether it was that day or the next, a battle was coming. The Melcians were too desperate for there not to be. If it hadn't been you, it'd been something else, and that something else wouldn't have gone to them to beg for their restraint."

Jin scowled, unconvinced.

Grimdar faced forward. "Perhaps you'd change your tune if you knew what the rest of us know of what happened that day."

"What might that be?" Jin growled.

"Crown Princess Omolade's public apology to the Aleesh. I imagine you can still find copies of it nailed to the notice boards across the city. The repeating clause throughout is Omolade's regret that she didn't heed your warnings. You told her that violence between our peoples would spell death and misery for everyone while the old masters looked on and laughed. You saw a peaceful outcome as more important than winning. The whole of the empire and the Five Kingdoms knows that the Battle of Sandharbor was fought despite your actions, not because of them."

"That is too easy," Jin argued. "My intent was not only to avoid further bloodshed. It was to put an end to Enfri's Shan Alee before it could begin."

Grimdar snorted, sending plumes of white smoke shooting into the air in front of him. "Not my business. Those issues lie on the personal level, not the imperial level. That's between you and her. I won't stick my snout into that beehive." He looked back at her again. "It bothers me that you're so intent on crucifying yourself. It must be maddening how no one's letting you."

Jin averted her eyes and glowered. She certainly wasn't pouting. No, of course not.

"It really is."

"I ask you don't misunderstand me," Grimdar continued. "To tell the truth, Your Highness, I much prefer you as this rather than the alternative."

Jin looked up curiously. "What's the alternative?"

"Self-flagellation isn't a productive method of coping with guilt, but it does indicate your willingness to take responsibility for your missteps. The alternative— making excuses, proclaiming innocence, or even ignoring that wrong was done— is a far worse failing. I find much to admire in you, Jin Algara."

It was difficult to hear praise while in a dark mood, but Jin appreciated the sentiment. "I have a hard time believing the great Grimdar the Gladiator has made enough missteps to admire such things."

He laughed, and his voice boomed over the arid landscape. "I'm more than five hundred years old, Highness. I've centuries worth of regrets."

"I would wager centuries worth of joy, also."

Grimdar hummed. "As you say."

The settled into an easy silence. Grimdar's wait was likely more comfortable than Jin's. He could count himself fortunate he didn't have a uterus trying its best to murder him. Jin retrieved a strip of willow bark and chewed on it as she watched the northern horizon and the city of Marwin draw closer.

Jin's thoughts were on what she expected to find there. Rather, whom.

She knew next to nothing of elves, and this supposed ancestor of hers even less. Elves were seely fey, unlike the goblins and other unseely fey she'd grown familiar with. Jin didn't know what manner of spirit gave rise to them, only that they were among the first of the fey races, called by the original Akazewi himself.

What concerned Jin more was what he wanted with her.