"Misha?"
A wave of emotions rolled through me. He was standing there so perfect, but just a few days ago he betrayed me and hurt me immensely.
I hated him and wanted him gone. I wanted to go up to him and slap him; it took everything in me to keep myself from storming up to him and giving him a well-deserved slap.
But then, why did I also want to go up to him and hug him and never let go?
The pregnancy hormones. Definitely those hormones making me do unnatural things.
'Stop blaming everything on the baby, Maria!' My brain reminded me.
Unfortunately, it had a good point. I needed to stop blaming this little baby for every emotion that I didn't want to admit I felt.
But the question was why? Why did I feel that way when I clearly shouldn't have? Misha had done something awful; he betrayed me, which hurt me in a way that not many had ever hurt me before.
"Maria, please, let me talk to you."
I stared at his beautiful dark eyes, gleaming like the night sky and as powerful as the depths of the sea. They were the opposite of his voice, which was very soft and gentle right now as if he were cradling a baby and singing a lullaby.
I opened my mouth to respond, but he rushed up to me and enveloped me in a hug.
Darn! I had missed that!
I wasn't going to let him know though, and so I kept rigid. But eventually, my arms couldn't stand still at my sides anymore, and I wrapped them around his neck.
"But don't forget," I whispered into his ear, "I still hate you."
He nodded against my neck. "I know."
"Now, what were you going to say? Remember, I'm giving you one chance to explain yourself. I still hate you though, okay?"
"Of course."
He stood still for a moment, and I took the time to gather my emotions. I didn't want to be crying and hugging and forgiving when the time wasn't right. Why was I doing this?
Why was I letting him explain himself, and why hadn't I already slapped him?
Ah, of course! I actually didn't want to. I wanted to forgive him, and I wanted everything to go back to normal.
"Maria, let me start by saying that I didn't mean a single word that I said back then on that bridge. Not a single one." He had turned away from me, and I could barely make out the words he was saying.
I frowned. Was I going to believe that?
No. No, I wasn't. Although I wanted to, I couldn't. I remembered myself sitting in the snow, crying and laughing and decided that no, I wasn't going to believe him just quite yet.
"Misha, you're probably not surprised that I don't believe you."
"I know, but it is the truth."
"Well, you've lost all my trust and so of course, I don't trust anything you're saying."
"I know. But you'll have to. I'm saying the truth. Anyways, let me continue."
He finally turned around to face me. I stared into his eyes and then nodded.
He took a deep breath and continued. "After you left the room, you know, when Stephan was asking you about the ball and the letter you found, after you left we talked some more and then he told me I need to find out what exactly you had found."
I frowned. "He didn't believe me when I told him it was just a recipe or a shopping list?"
Misha laughed. "That was brilliant. He did believe it, but he was still suspecting that he contacted you. Anyways, he threatened me to get it out of you, no matter what it took. And so I had to."
My eyes widened. He had been threatened by his own friend?
"Why would Stephan threaten you? Aren't you the one seeking revenge from Alexander, and not him?"
He sighed. "Yes, but Stephan needs the power gone from him and he needs money. Alexander did some wrong to Stephan as well, and he does want a little revenge. Of course, my motivations are far greater, but... Alexander is no angel. Many people want to seek revenge, and so they are helping us. Stephan doesn't want to let them all down and so he forced me to find out whatever I could."
He took a step towards me. "Maria, forgive me, please. I hated hurting you and it tore me apart saying all those words to you, but I had no other choice."
I closed my eyes. "You were very convincing. It didn't seem like it was 'tearing you apart'." I said with a shaky voice.
"I was in the highest business operations, I had to learn how to lie well."
We stood silently for a few minutes. I tried to process everything that he said. I believed him. I was still doubting him and I was very skeptical of his words, but overall, I did believe him.
Why?
I couldn't say. I just knew he wasn't lying. After everything we had been together through, this little voice, or intuition, told me that I could trust his words.
Of course, I wasn't going to let him know that.
"Maria...I don't know what else to say except please forgive me. I swear under God Almighty, I am speaking the truth. I regret deeply what I had done and I regret that I hurt you." His voice seemed to crack a few times, but he contained himself well. His eyes held mine and he almost wanted our souls to speak to each other, and have his soul convince mine that he was indeed sincere in his apology and he was honest with his words.
"Misha, I... I'm doubting your words still, but I cannot help myself but forgive you."
He breathed a sigh of relief so great that it seemed like he was Atlas, holding the sky on his shoulders, and someone just took the burden from him.
He wrapped his arms around me; enveloping me and I felt so little wrapped up in his large, strong arms.
"Maria, thank you. I promise you I will not hurt you again. Oh, thank you."
I couldn't even wrap my arms around him since he had me tightly in his grip. He just stood there, and I could feel all that energy transferring through this hug, letting me know how he appreciated my forgiveness and how sincerely he did feel sorry.
"Misha."
He quickly let go. "Sorry, I'm just so... I appreciate it, really. Thank you, Maria, may God bless your kind, kind heart."
I laughed and wiped away a tear that I didn't even notice escaped. "Oh, stop it."
We stood silently, each of us with a smile plastered on.
"Misha," I finally asked, "who was that man that you took me to see today?"
"Ah. Vladimir Ilyich."
I nodded.
"He wanted to use you as a model."
My eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me, what?"
He laughed and put his hand at the small of my back. "He's contributing to Stephan. His only request was that we find him a model for the annual Christmas and Winter Fundraiser. You'll style his dresses, he'll take photos and display them at this event. People can buy them."
I laughed. "Did he notice my belly? Also, wouldn't that make me noticed by the public?"
"Yes, he did notice your belly, as you may remember, but that won't be a problem. Also, no, we don't need to be careful of that anymore. Alexander had contacted you and didn't realize who you were. Besides, I don't think anyone really cares anymore. Five months have passed, soon to be six, and we haven't had anyone come close to finding you except for that one time. We're safe."
Indeed I was.
"Speaking of Alexander, has he contacted you anymore?"
I shook my head. I was not going to let him know about that wonderfully crafted message.
"Why did you come out to meet me then? I signed the name, AV. Were you expecting to meet him?"
I glared at Misha. "Why, are you going to become a monster again and get it out of me, whatever it takes?"
He stepped back. A look of pain crossed his eyes but I decided not to notice.
"No, I told you, I won't do that again. I just need to know, but if you're not going to tell me now, I'll wait."
"Have fun waiting."
We stood silently again. I had my hands crossed on my belly and he had his stuffed in his pockets. Funny, though, that both of us knew what the other was thinking about.
"Maria, we're almost done with our mission."
He said it quietly, but very clearly. I took a deep breath and my heart seemed to skip a beat. I could go home soon.
A new feeling rushed into my stomach. It passed through my heart and left a painful sting. I looked up at Misha, and for some reason, as my eyes glazed past his body and his arms and hands, and stopped at his burning, dark eyes, the pain shot at me the slightest bit more.
He seemed to be having the same feeling, for his eyes burned into mine the same way. I wanted to close the gap between us. I only needed a few steps, but I didn't.
He didn't have the courage either, and our only link, our only bond, were our eyes and our hearts. They carried for us what words could not.
I couldn't completely wrap my mind about the facts before me: I would soon be left without Misha. I wouldn't see him, and I wouldn't have the comfort of his strong arms and his dark stare. I wouldn't have the smile from his laugh, and I wouldn't have the joy from being in his company. I wouldn't know how to love life the way I loved it with him.
"Misha, how soon?" That was all that I was able to whisper.
"I don't know."
We stood still in silence once more. Funny, how the silence in between us had revealed so much more than if we had been talking.
I couldn't take it. I couldn't face what my life could become in just a few weeks or less. The thought sent another cold and numbing feel through my veins.
I opened my mouth. Would I have the courage to say it?
"Misha, I don't wan-"
"Don't. It's not the right thing, you know it." He cut me off.
His eyes fell to the ground and so did mine. He was right. I couldn't let my feelings keep me from doing the right thing. No matter what I wanted from life, no matter how much I loved or hated something or some...one, and no matter how much I learned to love life, I couldn't do what I most wanted.
"And you know how much I don't want this either, Maria. You know perfectly well. But you also know that I cannot let you want that. So let me help."
His eyes met mine.
"You need to go to New York. Let me take you there, and you can see Alexander."
I frowned. My breath stopped in my lungs and wouldn't escape.
"Misha, no!"
He closed the gap between us with one step and placed his finger on my lips. The contact sent a shiver down my spine and a burn into my heart. I glanced into his wild, captivating eyes.
His eyes could tell a million words and stories, and thankfully, my own eyes had learned to read and translate the language.
He gently took a strand of my hair and tucked it behind my ear. His touch was frail and left a trail of energy and danger where his skin contacted mine.
He leaned down a centimeter and whispered into my ear, his breath tickling all the hairs at the side of my head and neck, "We're leaving tomorrow, my love."
He placed a very quick but powerful and meaningful kiss on my forehead and vanished, causing me to stand alone by the fountain, surrounded by a dark sky, and a bouquet of red roses, with my thoughts racing in my mind.