"Let's go."
I whipped around to see Misha leaning against the doorway of the bathroom.
Thank God I had wrapped myself in a towel.
"Misha!" I pointed out the door, "Get out!"
He winked and then left the door and slowly began to close the door. I helped him with the process and slammed it shut, making sure to lock it.
I quickly dried my hair off, combed it, and applied some makeup. I was about to leave but I remembered that the only thing I had on was a very loosely tied towel.
I groaned. Darn. I had one option left.
"Misha!"
I heard him come up to the door.
"Yes, my love?"
"Mind getting me some clothes?" Then I quickly added, "Decent ones!"
He laughed and then soon I heard him knock.
"Okay, step away and close your eyes."
He laughed again, but I trusted him to have done what I said. I quickly opened the door, grabbed the pile of clothes and slammed it shut again.
I stared at the clothes. "What is this?"
"Clothes."
"I know, I can see. Why did you get... these clothes?"
"Because, darling. It's cold outside and we're going for a stroll. Besides, it's stretchy material and you need that because you've got a human inside of you."
"Mhmm. How thoughtful."
I hurried to get myself into these clothes. Either way, they were better than this towel. In just a few moments I was standing in a bright orange but stretchy and warm turtleneck and white, high-waisted pants that seemed cold but were actually quite cuddly and soft. Even in the snow, however, I had to wear awful stilettos, but I decided not to complain. A pair of dangly earrings completed the ridiculous, but actually very comfortable outfit.
"Ah, you look magnificent! Alright, we're leaving!" Misha exclaimed and proceeded to hurry me out the door.
"We're just taking a stroll through the city. No landmarks, nothing. I thought if we just went for a walk that would be just as fun. What do you say?" Misha asked me.
I nodded. "Sounds super."
Of course, I wasn't thinking about St. Petersburg at the moment. I wanted to find a way to help Alexander retain at least some of his wonderful reputation and influence in his countries, but at the same time, I wanted to help Misha get a little revenge out of Alexander.
Funny. Very funny how now I actually wanted to help my husband get hurt.
But only a little!
He deserved it. Taking away someone's life shouldn't go unpunished.
"Maria, you know what I've noticed?"
Misha's sudden statement caused me to stop my thoughts and focus on him.
"No, I do not."
"I thought so."
I waited but he said nothing. Fine, he wanted me to poke at his great realization. "What have you noticed, Misha?"
"I've noticed that you know so much about me. I've told you so much, but here I am, and I know nothing about you."
I laughed. "Oh really? You know me better than I know myself. You have created a genius plan to very exquisitely break me apart."
He placed an arm around my shoulder, "Darling, that's where you're very wrong. We don't want to break you apart but your husband."
He said it with a little frown hiding behind a smirk.
I couldn't help but smile a little. "Very funny. You still know what I mean. You knew exactly when to kidnap and how to carry out your plan so I am never found."
"Maria, in all seriousness, we actually don't know much about you personally. We may know a bit about your marriage and your husband, but not about you."
He was right. He was darn right like he always is!
They knew Alexander's weak points and what would break him down. They knew his friends and the parties he would attend. They knew about his work and his history. They knew how he acted towards me and when they should take me so he wouldn't know.
All they knew about me was that I changed Alexander apparently and I was his biggest weakness. But they didn't know about the rest of my life.
"Why not? Can't you figure it all out?"
Misha's eyebrows raised. "I suppose you're right. We could but we never deemed that necessary. You only interacted with Alexander and so we came to the conclusion that everyone else in your life would be useless. Also, all you know is what Alexander told you; you weren't an independent woman wouldn't pose as a danger if we didn't know more about you."
I gave him a slow clap. "You're right. It's a little upsetting that you thought so little of me, but you are right. Everything in my life diminished after I married Alexander."
Misha gave me a little nudge. "Don't be so upset. I want to know you. I want to know Maria Tormozova, not Maria Vasilievna."
I laughed. "No, you really don't. I'm much more boring as Maria Tormozova than Vasilievna."
"I doubt that."
I shut my mouth when I realized how serious he was.
So he really wanted to know me?
"What do you want to know?"
He grinned. "Ah, finally! Well, for starters tell me about your family! Mom, dad, siblings."
With an eye roll, I answered, "There's not much to say. I was adopted."
"That's a lot to say. Do you know your birth family?"
I shook my head.
"Why not?"
I thought a little. I'd never been asked that question. Why didn't I know them?
"I never really wanted to, I think. I was content with my own family and they didn't really pose an interest to me."
"Explain."
"There's nothing to explain. I'm just an average girl and I didn't want to know my birth family. My adopted family treated me well that I never even wanted to ruin whatever family I had by gaining information about my birth family."
We walked in silence until he asked, "Alright, so then what's your adopted family like?"
"Misha, my family isn't that important or interesting to me. If they were, I wouldn't have left them and never seen them again after I got married."
I knew he wanted to know more but there really wasn't much else to say. We were close once, but not anymore. For the past five or six years, our relationship had gotten weaker and weaker until I got married and then completely lost touch with them.
I never thought that I would be the person who would abandon their family, but somehow that happened.
"You're not close with them, are you?" Misha asked.
I shook my head.
"Do you want to be?"
I sighed. I don't know. Did I?
We walked for a few moments in silence, crossing a bridge as cars zipped past us. Beautiful buildings towered in the city and we were slowly approaching them. Everything was covered with a small layer of white snow.
"Misha, I don't know. I truly don't. I've gotten used to being Mrs. Vasilievna. I've left my old self and all my old memories and family behind. We were close at one point, but not close enough for me to be bonded strongly to them and want to go back. I'm fine with being the wife of a billionaire and helping him run his business. I'm fine with living in New York, with my own room that looks out over the city, with a driver and stupid high heels. I've accepted it long ago and thinking about my old life does nothing for me."
"I see... want some ice cream?" He asked out of the blue.
I looked at an ice cream shop he was pointing to. Okay, so it wasn't out of the blue.
"Nope, it is very cold outside and I would rather not make my insides cold as well."
He laughed. "Alright, then we're going inside of a restaurant to eat something hot."
I looked up at Misha. A few snowflakes were glued to his eyelashes. His face was full of tiny scars but the wide smile and perfect white teeth radiating so much happiness made up for it.
"Of course," I whispered.
And so we did. We received our food. Of course, I had an entire three plates in front of me, but I didn't care. The baby and I were hungry.
After we had gotten warm and dry, Misha asked, "What about Alexander's family?"
I raised an eyebrow. "What about them?"
"How do you like them?"
"His parents are quite lovely," I said with a mouthful of delicious olivye, "I definitely have a better relationship with them than with my own parents, unfortunately."
He smiled. Without a mouthful of food. Why was he so mannerful?
Because he was the richest and most respected person in the entire Soviet Union, Maria, remember?
Of course.
"How were you like then?" He asked again, without a full mouth of food.
I would have to take points on how to behave. I chewed and swallowed before answering, "I was a nerdy girl who was very quiet."
Misha smiled. "That fits you perfectly."
Why... why did that make my heart burn up and a weird warm feeling flood my stomach? Was my pregnancy sickness back?
"Explain," I said, returning the smile.
"You're very smart. Extremely smart. The one thing we know about you is you've got a degree in engineering and nursing and you're still very young. Your intelligence goes beyond that, though. The way you hold yourself and talk with the rest of the world proves you're very intelligent."
I let out a small laugh. "Misha quit lying. I definitely don't hold myself together."
He took a sip of his wine before saying, "You know I'm not lying. Anyways, you're also very quiet and very well behaved. I mean, you were kidnapped and sent across the country and you woke up perfectly fine. Maybe you threw one fit, but other than that you've been so calm and reserved. Not to mention you've followed every order."
I tilted my head. "Okay fine, you've got a point there."
He smiled. "Of course I do."
"Much of it is Alexander's doing."
"That's true, but it's also in your genes. You know it."
I laughed. "Fine, I guess."
"Want dessert?"
I looked at my three completely empty plates and Misha's one empty plate. I felt pretty fat, but hey, my baby was the one making me fat. Besides, I wouldn't mind a nice slice of cake.
"Of course I do."
"Cake?"
I glared at him. "How did you know?"
He winked and said, "It's a secret."
He ordered some cake and of course, I gulped it down in a few bites, but he took time with his. Why was he so... perfect? Sometimes he would act just like a reckless and irritating Russian gang member, and then at times like these, well, he would act like a perfect gentleman.
Deep down he was, though. Life made him a ruthless and dangerous gang member not afraid to kill or hurt. But at the core of his heart, he was a true gentleman. He served his country and then became the most respected in the country, as well as the richest.
"Let's go? We still need to walk back."
I nodded and took his arm. As soon as we left the warm restaurant, Misha placed an arm around me and tugged me close to him. I didn't mind; after the sun set the snow was much colder.
We stood at the top of the bridge. Lights from the city sparkled underneath the snow and the river was still flowing despite ice forming on the rocks and banks. The black, night sky wasn't as dark with the white snowflakes, stars, and moon against it.
Misha took a step closer to the edge of the bride. Cautiously, I took a step with him.
"Maria." He said in a very low and cool voice.
It wasn't icy but it was dangerous. I looked up at him to find his eyes glazed over with a dark and a look equally dangerous as his voice. His hair blowing in the wind added to his scary look, and the dark circles under his eyes also somehow deepened the darkness of him.
Suddenly, I was afraid. We were alone on a bridge that crossed a mighty river, in the dark snowfall.
Why was I still trusting him?
Maria! my brain screamed at me. Wake up! Leave before he does something to you! Don't trust him!
I stood still and stared back at him.
Maria! You'll be too late! Why are you trusting him?
I didn't know the answer. But I did. For some reason, I trusted him.
"Maria, now tell me what did Alexander tell you?"
His voice was very patient but the terrible danger lacing it made me shiver up and down my spine.
"I've been with you all this time. When do you think I've been talking with Alexander?"
Misha's grip tightened around me.
A part of me got very scared. I knew that he killed people, and nothing would stop him from doing the same to me. He was a criminal mastermind that everyone loved, but he was still a killer.
The other part of me appreciated the warmth of his body and the beautiful scene before us. Deep down, he still had a heart though, and although he killed, he was also full of kindness and emotion. He was human.
"Don't play games with me. I know he gave you a message, and although Stephan, Eugene, and Shurik couldn't see past your act earlier today, I saw right through it. I've gotten to know you very well Maria. Spit it out." He placed his hand on my cheek and forced me to face him.
Darn, he was strong! His grip was very tight and I knew that now I would never be able to run.
I searched his eyes for something to comfort the part of me that was shaking from fear. Nothing.
That caused the other side of me, the trusting side to shrink back in fear.
Here was Russia's most dangerous man. He hadn't threatened me at all, but for some reason, I had already understood why I was standing with his grip tightening on me, at the top of a bridge, staring at the river. That was a threat all by itself and I didn't need him to say anything.
He was good at this.
I knew right away that it wasn't him who had sent me those letters back at the office. No, those were sent by one of the others. His threats were way more carefully crafted.
I shaky breath escaped my lips.
"Is that why you've been out with me all these times? To know me well enough for a situation like this?" I dared to ask.
His grip loosened extremely slightly. "Yes. Did you really think I cared about you?"
I gasped and my heart fell to the ground.
What?
I kept replaying his words over and over in my brain. Was I hearing this correctly? I could feel a sob in the back of my throat and my eyes burned from the sudden tears that were on the verge from falling out.
Misha...
My heart burned again, and this time it wasn't the same burn that I felt in the restaurant. No, this one captivated me and burned me ferociously with agonizing pain. It deprived me of oxygen, causing my lungs to suffocate.
I looked back into Misha's dark eyes. His face hadn't changed. It was still dark and cold and tormenting. Emotionless.
He meant it.
I tried to break free from his grip but he only tightened it.
"Why? I thought- I thought that I could trust you. Why did you- why did you do that?" My voice was breaking, but I didn't care.
"It was necessary. You know there was no other way. Now tell me."
Something inside of me broke. I didn't care about anything, I just wanted out of here, and not by meeting God and my eternity.
"Yes. Yes, fine. He reached out to me but it was through Kate, not through Maria." I growled at him.
He stared at me. I didn't look away.
I hated him.
How did I trust him?
I knew that I couldn't but I did anyway!
Gah, I was so, so stupid!
"What did he need?"
I shut my mouth and stared as coldly as I could at Misha.
"What did he say?" He asked again, shaking me.
I tried to be silent but I finally yelled, "He just asked for help! He needed help and that's it!"
Misha stopped shaking me. "Did he ever try to get in touch with you again?"
I closed my eyes and hung my head.
"No." A defeated word escaped my lips.
"Did you say anything to him?"
Once again, I let out a weak and painful 'no'.
"Good. Let's go, we've been here too long." He gripped my arm and carried me away.
I tried to break free but he just held me tighter. I didn't have the energy to fight back anymore and so I just walked along.
The painful fire in my heart warmed me up, but it also froze me up, slowly but effectively. I didn't know what to do.
A glazed look formed over my eyes. I didn't know what to do with life anymore and I didn't want to think about it.
I never knew I could feel so much pain and so much apathy to life and to the world.