Hate would be the understatement of the century.
There aren't enough fingers and toes on me to count all the crap he's pulled on me throughout the years. As early as I could remember, all my memories consisted of him picking on me; spoiling all my favourite toys, never allowing me to watch him play with his friendsâneedless to say join them, ruining every single one of my kiddy artworks I dared to be remotely proud of, greeting me daily by a hard slap on the back of my head or pinching me on my arm whenever he needed to speak to me.
And as we got older, you bet the bullying only got worse. He'd plant 'traps' in the house that would end up being blamed on me, such as placing random cups of coloured beverage, paint, even bowls of cooking oil or raw eggs right behind an ajar door so that when I foolishly push it open, I'm the one who has ruined the carpet.
It was no longer pettily shoving me off the bicycle, but secretly loosening the screws on it so that when I unsuspiciously ride them, I'd lose control on my own when it falls apart and he'd never have to take the blame for it.
There wasn't a single birthday nor Christmas that he hadn't stole a majority of my presents, even giving some of them out as gifts to the girls he fancied. My room became Santa Claus' warehouse as he allowed his friends to come grab whatever they needed whenever I wasn't around, and none of those things I'd ever see again.
It got to a point where it felt miserable being home, but staying away meant not being able to protect my belongings. And the worst of all being he never planned a schedule to mess with me, so I couldn't even see most of it coming.
"Considering the fact that I've wanted you dead on countless occasions, you're right. I most certainly hate you."
I believe even if a truck came for him right now, I wouldn't shed a tear as I move aside and witness his brain matter ooze out his pathetic, flattened skull.
It's probably sick of me to wish death on a family member, but then again, I've stopped considering him one way too long ago.
"Wow." He has the audacity to look a little hurt, slightly shaking his head.
I bark out a short, humourless laugh. "Is it shocking? We both know you hate me just as much as I do."
Wayne inhales a sharp breath. "And how would you know? We haven't spoken in... how long has it been?"
"How would I know?" I sneer resentfully. "You used to find me such a disgrace that whenever mom made us turn up in school in the same car, you told your friends that I was a charity case you found lurking on the streets!"
Damn, I hadn't planned to raise my voice. I'm really losing it.
He shifts his weight from one foot to the other. "...I was fourteen."
"And that somehow makes it okay?" I quirk a mocking brow. Leopard never changes its spot and all that. "You were fourteen. A fourteen-year-old knows better."
"I did not say that." He sighs frustratedly. "God, how is it you've gotten soâ"
I certainly did not sign up college for this shit.
Less than thirty minutes and I'm already on the verge of my ripping my skull out! How on Earth am I going to even stay for a night, much less weeks? Hell. I love my mom, but this is just too much.
"You know what?" I open up my car boot again and bend down to retrieve the boxes I've only just unloaded. "For my own sanity, I'm just going to drive home and pretend I never came here."
College be damned. We don't all have to go to college, right? If our parents can live without a degree I don't see why I can't! I can sure as hell wait tables for a living.
"You're kidding." He takes a step forward. "Do you see the time?" He takes a glance at his phone. "It's late."
"Okay. Let's not even pretend like we care about each other." I roll my eyes.
Wayne speeds up toward me, slamming my car boot down just as I managed to lift my hands away from it.
"What the hell!" I scream at him, shoving him in the chest with my palm.
But he doesn't even move an inch, holding his hand down on the trunk. Damn him!
"I know I was an asshole."
"You still are!"
"I'm trying here, Kel." He glances up at the sky briefly as if asking for strength. Oh please. I'm the one who needs it more! "Mom wants you to stay here."
"Well, newsflash. I can make my own goddamn decisions." I reply haughtily.
"Sure you can. But will you really want to risk your future over someone you claim to hate so damn much?" He raises a brow. "Is it worth it?"
I grit my teeth. He's right. Why am I always the one backing out, running off and screwing up my life? I moved out of Connecticut for a reason. How can I go back?
But I can't stay here either. How can I even stand to see my nemesis' face every single day until the apartment is ready? Heck, I don't even have a date to countdown to.
Fuck. Why is this my life?
"I was young, stupid and immature. I was a kid for god's sake." He tries to defend himself.
"So was I."
"I know." He sighs. "Look, hate me all you want. Do this for yourself. It's only for awhile and you can go on your merry way. But if you leave now, you're not going to make it. Last admission is tomorrow." He reminds me.
I study my brother's aquamarine eyes. Funny. What is it to him? "Why aren't you jumping at the chance to kick me out?"
"Believe it or not, Kel, I'm not the same person I was years ago." He answers seriously.
"I highly doubt that."
He merely raises his shoulder. Then he calls for Drew, not even raising his voice. The dude responds in an instant. Doesn't take a genius to know he must've been eavesdropping since the front door's wide open.
"Yeah?" Drew pokes his head out.
"Come help me with these." Wayne points to my mess on the ground.
I frown, skeptical about his intentions. "What are you doing?"
"Bringing it up to your new room?"
"I haven't even agreed to stay yet!" I protest.
Drew doesn't wait any longer, already lifting two of my boxes up as if they barely weigh anything. "That's too bad, babe." He proceeds to head inside without another glance.
"Ugh!" I groan out loud. These people are infuriating!
Wayne chuckles, getting my stuff too. "You're going to need to try harder to leave."
âââ
Reluctantly, I follow behind them as they lead me upstairs to where they've placed my belongings. As much as I want to fight it, they're right. It has been a long damn day packing since morning, not forgetting the long drive here. All I really want is to flop onto the nearest bed and sleep. I'll come up with a plan tomorrow.
The walls are painted in a soothing pale grey colour with warm yellow lights illuminating the room. In the corner sits a Queen sized bed, a small dresser by its side. The only other furniture is a medium sized teak sliding wardrobeâwhich I'm certain will not fit all of my clothes, a study desk and a standing mirror.
It lacks all the character my old bedroom used to have. I think about the string of polaroids I hung just above my bed, the posters of every famous boyband in the last decade, and my one and only gold medal from a 100m sprint I participated back in 5th grade.
As I take in the view of the nightsky from the open window in my new room, two light raps on the door gets my attention.
"Hey." A deep baritone voice sounded. "Do you mind?" Zac gestures to the wardrobe. "I'll just grab and go."
I haven't gotten down to exploring, much less unpacking at all since I still isn't sure about staying. I recall Wayne asking him to give me the room, meaning this room belonged to him.
"Go ahead." I nod, turning around to lean against the window instead.
I take the time to check him out as he begins pulling out hangers after hangers of clothes into a small basket. He's about as tall as Wayne, with bulging biceps hidden underneath his tight white t-shirt that looked as if it'll tear if he so much as raise his arms above his head. He has a head of platinum blond hair that screams painful to me as I imagine the amount of bleach he'd need to achieve the colour.
I know I'm staring and didn't want to make it weird if he catches me. So I decide to say something to break the silence.
"Sorry for taking up your space." I clear my throat to rid of the sudden high pitch that came out on the first word. "It's only temporary. I'll be out of here faster than you know it."
Zac looks at me over his shoulder, pausing and standing up straight to his full height. "It's not a bother. We don't actually live here." He smiles and it's the first time I notice his appealing facial features. God, did he have such prominent jaw that I wish I could trace with my hands.
Get a grip, Kelsey! This isn't the time to gawk.
"You don't?" I raise a brow. He sure as hell has more clothes than someone who doesn't lives here has.
"Well, it's a little complicated. We just sleptover here so much that it sort of became routine who took which room. But I do have my own room in my own house at the end of the day. So, feel free to stay here. In fact, this is more so your house than it is mine." He smiles that goddamn smile again.
"I don't follow." I ignore him and his gorgeous looks. Hell, he can be easy on the eyes but he's still my brother's friend. And I don't think I'll want to trespass that invisible line.
"For one, you're Wayne's little sister. I'm sure he'd be happy to have you here."
I snorted, in every way unglamorously kind of snort. "You're kidding, right? We're only siblings by label. And DNA."
I doubt my brother ever tells anyone he has a godforsaken sister, which proves why none of his friends will know why we have such an awful relationship.
"That bad, huh?" He looks at me with interest. I swiftly avert my gaze, not wanting to be too keen on the colour of his eyes and things like that. I'm not here to stay, dammit! Keep telling myself that.
"You have no idea." I saunter over to the bed and sit on it. Mm, not as soft as I like it to be, but it should do.
"I think I do have some idea, judging from the snippets I heard out there." Zac gives me a smirk, before going back to doing what he was doing.
"How could you still tell me he'll want me here if you already heard how bad it is?" I frown.
Then he pauses his movements again, acknowledging me. "Because I know your brother differently than you do."
I gulp, glancing away. There's nothing in my head to change my impression of that devil, that part I'm certain.
So I change the subject. "Where are you moving to, then?"
"Just next door. Thankfully it's two single beds in there instead of a Queen. I shudder to even imagine sharing a bed with my brother." He chuckles softly.
"Your brother?"
"Yeah." He nods. "That other dork downstairs? He's my younger brother. His name is Carson."
"Oh." I barely remember what that guy looks like already since he didn't turn to show his face earlier. That reminds me... "I'm Kelsey, by the way." I put up a hand just to be polite.
"I know." He takes it for a firm shake. "Zacson. But you may call me Zac for short."
Despite only just meeting him, it surprises me how easy it is for me to talk to him. I have been completely socially awkward for the past year and honestly, haven't even considered the fact that I no longer have people I could call friends. But looking at him... he's made me feel welcomed in a matter of minutes. And he doesn't looks at me with flirtatious eyes like Drew did.
And I'll be lying if I say I don't want to talk to him longer.
"So I'm curious."
Zac raises a brow. He stops his clothes-shoving and moves to the rolling desk chair next to him, flopping down on it. "Come at me." He grins.
"Is there anything I need to know about here? Such as who visits, who stays here and whether or not I should beware of particular hours?" I lean back against the headboard to ease the ache in my spine.
Zac snorts. "What do you think this place is?"
"I don't know. I didn't come here with the impression knowing there's four bedrooms in this house." I shrug. Please don't say it's a party house!
"Then for your assurance, the only people that comes around here; you've already met them all tonight." He smiles and I can't help but really study his face again. His eyes are the lightest shade of brown.
"How did you even meet Wayne to begin with?" I start to bombard tons of questions. Why are the guys frequently around? Why stay here if they have houses to go back to? Most importantly, why befriend a dirtbag like him? Or maybe I'm just salty that someone like my brother has real friends while I have none.
Zac leans back in the chair, making himself comfortable. "Let's see. We met a frat party when I was in my sophomore year. Drew and Wayne were already friends by then, but we clicked and when the semester started, it just became natural that we hung out. As for why we're often here, it's mostly a choice. It's just much more fun to be around company, isn't it?"
I wanted to object. I came here with the purpose of finding peace and solidarity. But now that I think about it, am I really going to live in peace if it's just me and Wayne in the house? Heck no.
"Now, you." It's his turn to ask. "What happened to you and Wayne?"
I sigh, thinking of the endless amount of things I could rat him out on. "He used to ignore my existence, disturb me at home, fault his wrongdoings on me. I hated him. Ever since he moved out for college, I jump at every chance to avoid him whenever he visits."
I play with the ends of my hair, feeling vulnerable to confide in a stranger. "And we never spoke all these while. Four years. No texts, no calls, no birthday wishes. He's not even in any of my social media."
And for quite some time, I actually forgot about ever having a brother.
"I see. Guess that's why you're feeling repulsive." He offers me a tight smile. "But in my opinion, I don't think he's the same person you think he used to be. I mean, I don't know him from earlier. But having spent three years with him now, he's actually a decent guy."
But I came here for new beginnings, I wanted to tell him. I didn't need my estranged brother to come back into the picture, reminding what a bull of crap my life used to be.
Besides, there's absolutely no reason why Wayne will want a truce when he never bothered to conceal how much he detested me. And I've learnt better than to trust too easily. Even if it's my own brother. Especially my own brother.
"Doesn't matter. I'll be out of here as soon as my apartment's ready."
Staring up at the white ceiling in exasperation, the scary thought of not knowing when dreads me to the core.
"Then I hope he gets to change your mind before time's up." He smiles again, standing up on his feet.
"Man. How I wish I had a brother like you instead of that Satan."
Zac lets out a startled laugh. "Then you probably should ask Carson about the shit he had to deal with because of me."
I allow the conversation to end on a light note, feeling reality set in as I settle into my new room for the next few weeks. Who was I kidding when I thought to go back to Connecticut? I needed this. And if Wayne promises to leave me alone... well, I guess I could manage just a few weeks.
"Need help unpacking?" He jerks his chin to my pile of stacked boxes lying all around the floor.
"Nah. Just in case I change my mind, it's quicker to run."
Zac chuckles. God, the way his Adam's apple bobs is such a distraction. "Hopefully I'll see you in the morning then." He says as he heads for the door. "And... just so you know, if you need someone to talk to, I'm always one door away."
I look at him gratefully, my heart easing up on the heaviness that's been here since I got the terrifying news. "Thanks, Zacson. Good night."
"Zac." He corrects me with a laugh. "Good night, Kelsey. Rest well."