Chapter 82: How One Might End Up Making Voodoo Dolls in the Image of a Particular Person

“OCTAVIA!”

“Huh? What?”

Gracie looked at her friend in disapproval. “I must have said your name like twenty times.”

“Sorry… I guess I got a little distracted.”

“Yeah. Again.”

Octavia sighed. “I’m paying attention now, what is it?”

Gracie eyed her in suspicion. “You haven’t been yourself lately, what’s up?”

“Nothing. I’m fine.”

“Oh? So you being more spaced out than usual lately doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Raemon came by a week ago—and hasn’t stopped by since?”

“It definitely doesn’t.”

Gracie continued to eye her, but then shrugged. “You’ll tell me when you’re ready, I guess.”

“Look at you being supportive. Are you still feeling guilty over not knowing I was kidnapped?”

“Guilt is too time-consuming,” Gracie said. “Have you seen the new plans for the Curie lab system?”

Octavia’s eyes fell back down to the screen before her. She and Gracie resumed their work, typing away at their laptops and occasionally asking one another questions.

The kitchen clock ticked steadily in the background, accompanied only by the hum of the refrigerator.

Then the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it,” Octavia offered, sliding off the bar stool.

She reached the front door and swung it open, completely not expecting the person she found standing there.

“Adelaide?” Octavia said incredulously.

“Where is he? What did you do?” Adelaide demanded.

Her ordinarily neat bun was lopsided and had stray hairs escaping it on all sides. Octavia also noted how wrinkled her immaculate office outfit was as well as the dark circles under her eyes.

“Would you like to come in?” Octavia asked, unsure of what else to say.

Adelaide huffed and marched past her. She walked right into the living room, where she took a quick glance around, and a venomous look sparked in her eyes.

“Where is Raemon Kentworth?” Adelaide snapped.

“Why are you asking me? How should I know?” Octavia said.

“Something wrong?” Gracie said as she entered the living room. “Adelaide, fancy seeing you here.”

Adelaide only gave Gracie a hurried glance before centering her eyes back on Octavia.

“What did you do to him?” Adelaide demanded.

“Nothing?” Octavia answered. She was confused.

“Liar,” Adelaide hissed. “Ever since Raemon came here the other day, he wasn’t the same. And now he’s gone! What did you do?”

Gracie raised an eyebrow. “Would you like to search the place for his body or something?”

“I don’t know where he is, Adelaide,” Octavia said calmly. “I haven’t heard from him since I last saw him.”

Adelaide narrowed her eyes at Octavia. Something was clearly dawning on her. “You refused him, didn’t you?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You know exactly what I mean. He asked…and you refused. That’s what happened, isn’t it?”

Octavia’s silence answered Adelaide’s question.

Adelaide threw her hands up in despair. “How could you do something like that?”

“Like what?” Gracie asked.

“How could you say no to him?”

“Why on earth would I have said yes?” Octavia countered.

“Because he loves you!” Adelaide said, nearly choking on her words.

“And?”

She stared at Octavia in disbelief. “You have no idea what it means to love someone. I’ve been in love with Raemon for seven years. Seven years. And he’s never even looked twice at me.

“Then you come along, and he just starts changing. He proposed to you, Octavia! Don’t you know what that means?”

“You’re going to tell me anyway,” Octavia replied dryly.

“He proposed?” Gracie exclaimed. “Fuck. Our communication really is bad.”

“I love him more than anyone else in the world,” Adelaide declared. “It tore me apart seeing you with him every day. But I’m still here telling you to take him.

“Because for whatever reason”—Adelaide bit her lip—“you made him happy. I just want him to be happy.”

“I can’t do that, Adelaide.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t love him.”

“How can you not? He is fifty times the person you are. He’s the wealthiest man in the country. He’s incredibly intelligent. And he wants you. Your only option is to say yes.”

“And yet, miraculously, I said no.”

“Octavia, Raemon Kentworth is a broken man. He’s been hurt by the people in his life. Nobody but me knows how much he suffers. You could fix that!”

“I’d rather not.”

Adelaide glared at her.

“You cruel bitch. How can you be so selfish when you know you could help him out of his pain? You could bring light into the darkness of his life. I’d do anything to be able to do that for him!”

Octavia snorted. “Bullshit.”

This reaction took Adelaide by surprise.

“What…what did you say?”

“BULLSHIT.” Octavia crossed her arms and stared down Adelaide.

“Stop giving me all that crap about how much you love him. You don’t even know him. Nobody knows him! What you’re in love with is just some idea of him you’ve cooked up in your under-utilized brain.

“That’s what everyone wants, isn’t it? They don’t actually want to be with Raemon, they just want to be seen as the girl who is with Raemon—like that’s supposed to mean something about themselves.

“It’s just a dumb game to be the woman who got the man nobody else could have. And you’re the number one player, aren’t you?

“Using the ‘unrequited love’ card doesn’t make you better than any of them, Adelaide.”

“How dare you—” Adelaide started.

“Enough with that!” Octavia ordered. “Stop using your imaginary love for Raemon as an excuse. You have your own life, Adelaide. You’re smart, capable, and hardworking.

“Use that to better yourself, instead of hanging onto someone who’s worked with you for seven years and still doesn’t know your first name. For fuck’s sake—use your goddamn head!

“Even if Raemon ever returned your feelings, it wouldn’t change who you are. His feelings for you—or lack thereof—can’t change how you feel about yourself.

“You’d still be the same, Adelaide, even if he actually was in love with you. He can’t make you into a better or happier person. Do that your goddamn self.”

Adelaide continued to glare at Octavia, her thin lips pinched together. Eventually, she simply walked away from them, heading straight for the door.

Octavia and Gracie watched her leave, then continued to stand in the silence.

“Soooo…,” Gracie finally said. “Raemon proposed?”

“Yes.”

“And you didn’t accept it?”

“No.”

“Hmm.”

“What? Do you think I should have?”

“It’s not my place to say, Octavia.”

“Come on. Tell me.”

“Well…no, honestly.”

Octavia sighed. “Thank you. You’re the first person to react that way to my decision.”

“Who else did you tell?”

“Lauren had kinda guessed it. And then she told Sierra. You can’t believe how shocked they were when I told them I said no.”

“It’s understandable. According to most people, why wouldn’t you agree?” Gracie remarked. “He’s rich, good-looking, and into you. Three things most women only dream of finding in a guy.”

“All of which are completely useless.”

“You don’t want someone who’s into you?”

Octavia shook her head. “Not in the way he was. If you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone, don’t you want them to love you for who you are? You know, as a person?

“Not because you’re a distraction from their unresolved trauma.”

“Some ladies will take what they can get.”

“Yeah, well…I’d rather be alone. I mean…with a love like that, I’d end up being alone anyway.”

“Hey, I’m on your side,” Gracie said. “It was clear Raemon felt something toward you. But it never seemed…”

“Real,” Octavia supplied. “Like you and Quentin. Why do you choose to be with him?”

“I don’t know…we’re good friends, I guess. We like the same things. We talk about everything. And we have similar hobbies. But on the whole…he’s a great person.

“He’s funny…creative…and caring. He doesn’t get intimidated if I’m better than him at something—and he doesn’t care that I only wear jeans and T-shirts.”

“I don’t see why he should,” Octavia said.

“Some other guys would. As much as some girls would care how their boyfriends presented themselves to the world. We all have parts to play.

“It’s sad, but a good amount of your relationship is usually spent molding yourselves into whatever people expect you to be.”

“That was basically all of Raemon’s life,” Octavia said. Her brow furrowed. “I just couldn’t ignore that. How can you fall in love with someone if there’s no someone to fall in love with?

“I tried to explain it to him. What was I supposed to like? If you take away the money, the power, the fame…what’s left?”

Grace put an arm around Octavia’s shoulder.

“I think you made the right choice.”

Octavia gave her friend a rueful smile. “What about Adelaide? Do you think she went home to reconsider her personal values or to create a voodoo doll with my name on it?”

Gracie shrugged. “Who knows? If it starts to feel like someone’s sticking pins in your body, we’ll find an exorcist or something.”