Chapter 26: Grimy, Greasy Burgers Make Up for Shitty Parents

Octavia followed him out the door as he marched through the crowd, which seemed to part before him.

Once they were outside the grand steps leading up to the building doorway, just before the drive where limousines and SUVs were still dropping off attendees, Raemon stopped, searching the sea of shiny black cars for his own.

It was not long before a Cadillac pulled up before them, and Octavia recognized the personalized license plate of Raemon’s. He opened the door and gestured to the car’s interior.

“Get in,” he said.

Octavia slid into the car and shifted herself to the very end of the spacious leather seat. Raemon kept to the opposite side of the car.

As Caesar, the driver, pulled out of the circular drive before the building, Octavia peeked at Raemon and saw him staring out the window with a dark look on his face.

She stifled a sigh and turned to look out her own window. They rode in silence, Octavia staring listlessly at the passing buildings.

She watched as they morphed from regal structures, museums, and designer stores to the busy, blinking sights of the downtown city—office buildings, restaurants, and bars.

A red and green flashing sign caught her eye, and she forgot herself for a moment, uttering, “Ooh! The Grimy Grease Shack!”

Raemon seemed to be yanked out of whatever ominous thoughts he was in and turned to look at Octavia.

“The what?”

Octavia fidgeted with the clasp on her purse. “It’s their two-for-one special tonight. And I haven’t eaten anything since morning. Can you just let me off here?”

“I can’t leave you out in the middle of nowhere this late at night,” Raemon said.

“It’s not the middle of nowhere, it’s the center of downtown. The place is crawling with people. I couldn’t be safer,” Octavia said.

“And how would you get back to your home?” Raemon asked.

“The train, obviously.”

“At this hour?”

“Fine. A taxi or something. Look, we’re almost past it, just let me off. I’m starving!”

Raemon gave her a final look but then turned to speak to the driver sitting in front of them.

“Caesar, pull into the…the Grease Shack.”

Caesar nodded wordlessly and moved the car into the right-most lane, soon turning into the small parking lot of the burger joint.

“You could have just let me jump off,” Octavia said.

“Out of the question. I won’t let you go alone.”

“Relax. I know Krav Maga.”

“You’re exceedingly accomplished. Nevertheless, I’m going with you.”

So it was the two of them that entered the Grease Shack and took a seat at one of the tables near the wide window staring out onto the street after placing an order at the counter.

That is, Octavia placed an order, and Raemon scanned the menu displayed on the wall behind the cashier with a judgmental eye and simply asked for a coffee.

“Thank god!” Octavia exclaimed when minutes later a tray of food was set before her.

She tipped the tiny paper cup full of ketchup on top of her burger patty. She then did the same thing with a second cup of ketchup. Then with mustard, and then with mayonnaise.

“If you continue on like that, you’ll only have a blob of condiments with a burger in it,” Raemon said, eyeing her tray.

“Hell yeah,” Octavia responded. She finished with the mayonnaise, stuck the top part of the bun back on the burger, and took a large bite.

“Mmhhmm.” Octavia savored her generous bite. “This tastes amazing.”

“Well, I hope it’s better than this coffee,” Raemon said, setting the cup that he had just taken a sip from back down.

“Of course, it is,” Octavia said between mouthfuls, “this is the Grimy Grease Shack. Not the Enticing Espresso Shack. Duh.”

“How anyone could eat at a place with the word ‘Grimy’ in its name is beyond me.”

“As so many things are,” Octavia said. At the sight of Raemon’s unamused expression, she gave him a cheerful smile.

“Here. Try some.” She pushed her tray toward him, pointing to the second untouched burger on it.

“Absolutely not,” Raemon said.

“Come on! You might like it.”

“I might also have a heart attack.”

“Don’t be silly, you’re the fittest guy I know. One burger won’t kill you.”

“Your faith in me is reassuring.”

“Don’t get used to it. Eat the burger.”

Eventually, Raemon succumbed to her pestering and reached for the second burger. He took a bite, chewed in silence, and then placed the rest of the burger back on her tray.

“See? Isn’t it great?” Octavia asked.

“It’s…not as bad as I thought it would be,” Raemon said.

“It’s heaven!” Octavia said.

“Well, I wasn’t immediately overcome with the impulse to vomit.”

“That’s high praise coming from you, I guess.”

“For a place like this—yes.”

“Well, now you owe me another burger. I can’t eat what someone else took a bite out of, and I specifically came here for two burgers. So you might as well finish this one.”

“Why did you offer it if you didn’t want me to take a bite out of it?”

“I was being nice. Besides, now I’ll have two more burgers. Breakfast tomorrow is covered.”

“That does not surprise me.”

With further encouragement from Octavia, Raemon ate the remainder of the second burger. Octavia critiqued his burger-eating skills, which she found lacking.

Raemon informed her that, sadly, his everyday meals were limited to the poor quality of the gourmet dishes prepared by his personal chef.

Octavia did not accept that as an excuse. He absolutely should take it upon himself to become familiar with the kind of food herself and other mortals ate.

The way he ate burgers was an abomination. She didn’t even want to know how he’d be around tacos.

A group of adults in full-size animal costumes barged through the door and made their way to the counter, recounting horror stories of a children’s party they’d been working that day.

Octavia listened to their chatter with a smile, then turned to Raemon.

“I think we ought to discuss the elephant in the room,” she said.