Longing

Ryder

The phone call saved me from the conversation we were having with Amara, but what I heard was even worse than the conversation.

"Ryder, they know you have her. Jason's father came by our house today and caused chaos. M-my dad is injured a-and-" Gordon's voice was shaking so I cut him off trying to calm him down.

"Hey hey, it's okay. It's all under control now. Where is your dad? Are your parents okay now?"

I glanced at Amara and saw how worried she was. She gave me a questioning look and I shook my head not knowing what to do.

"My mom took my dad to the hospital. Jason's father made it clear, he knows you have her. My parents denied it and he got mad and-"

"Do you know where he went?" I asked.

He told me a potential direction and I immediately sent men looking for him after ending the call.

"What happened?" Amara asked when I stopped talking on the phone.

I sighed and run my hand over my face, "You're not going to like this" I shook my head squinting my eyes.

"Well, tell me!" She demanded.

"Jason and his family know I have you and they confronted your parents"

She stood shocked for a few seconds before asking, "Are they okay?"

"Yes, they are okay. I sent men looking for Jason's father but this isn't enough. They can't find you and this place hasn't got enough security. We need to take you to our main place" I said thinking.

She would question it. She would find out what I am eventually. She would hate me even more.

"Main place?" She asked frowning.

"Just a house with a lot of people, more security. We're going there today"

"Today!?"

"Yes, today. I can't risk your safety" I said.

"They already know you have me. What's the point anyways?" She asked.

"I'll deny everything"

"Wait, will you be in that house with me?" She asked.

That question ruined me, because I knew the answer and I didn't like it.

I guess my expression gave it away and she scoffed.

"No! I'm not going anywhere without you!" She said firmly, "You took me from my family you're all I have now, like it or not"

I didn't know if I felt happy that she said I was all she had or if I felt guilty for taking her away.

"For a few days I'll have to be away so I can convince them that I'm not the one keeping you"

She hugged herself and looked down pouting. She looked so adorable. She was wearing my sweatshirt which basically hid most of her and was too big for her. She had her light brown hair up in a pony tail and she was wearing her glasses which made her look irresistibly cute.

"No" She whined quietly.

Fuck.

I held out my arms and smiled, "Come here baby girl"

I held back from smiling even more when she rolled into my arms and wrapped her arms around my torso.

"I promise you I'll be back before you know it" I said and kissed the top of her head.

________

Everything happened really quick. I had already taken her to her new "home" and she was now meeting with the guys.

As much as I wanted to and as much as I knew how loyal they were to me, I couldn't trust any guy with her. I knew that the moment I left her alone in a house that mostly had men in there, I would freak out and lose my mind.

I trusted Gordon, not only because he was my best friend, but because he was her brother. I had to convince myself he would surely protect her if it came down to it, but still I felt like I couldn't trust anyone with her but myself.

"Did you like the guys?" I asked twirling a lock of her hair as we sat on the couch. Her hair was so soft, it looked and felt like silk.

I wish I could just sit here and drown in her all day.

These were my last moments with her for now so I wanted to cherish them.

"They were okay. I'll have to get to know them better" She said innocently, but she didn't know how much that affected me.

"You don't have to" I said letting out a deep breath.

"But I want to" She said, "They seem fun"

"But why would you want to? You have Gordon. You have me. You don't need them"

She smirked and squinted her eyes, "Are you jealous of your own group?" She questioned.

"No, I'm just saying" I said.

"They seem fun. Period" She said crossing her arms.

"Fine" I mumbled.

Great. Now I will be even more paranoid.

I stood up and stretched my arms, I saw her staring at me for a few seconds and wondered if she even was attracted to me. She probably wasn't.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"I want to have a talk with my" "group" before I leave" I said.

She mumbled an 'okay' and went back to watching TV.

After gathering everyone in my office I leaned against the edge of my desk and tried to think of how to word it.

"You know you're going to be living with Amara" I started and they all nodded, "Amara is a very special person to me and I care about her a lot. Given that, I want you to be careful around her and don't try to make a move on her, don't try to intimidate her, don't try to flirt with her and don't try to scare her" I said.

I was making up scenarios at this point. I was getting myself angry and I wasn't used to that. I was usually calm.

"You should always protect her and report to me about how she is. Only me" I finished looking at all of them one by one, "Any questions?"

None of them dared ask anything so I stood straight, "Great. My things are ready and I'm leaving in a few minutes. Don't forget what I said. If I find out that any of you disobeyd me, that someone won't like the consequences" I said trying to sound as intimidating as possible.

Which I probably achieved since everyone in the room was standing straight with their eyes wide and their jaws clenched. Their whole body was tense.

I left the room and went off to say goodbye to Amara. I really didn't want to say goodbye, but that was the right thing to do. I'd have time to solve everything. I just wanted her to be okay.

"Hey" I greeted when I saw her, "I'll be leaving now" I mumbled looking down.

"That soon?" She asked with a slight pout

Her lips were so distracting. They were a bright, vibrant pink and for some reason I found myself wanting to touch them.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I have to" I took her hand in mine.

"Yeah" She said quietly looking down with a sad look.

She looked like she cared. I hoped she did.

"I'm used to your absence anyway" She said with a bitter chuckle, still not looking at me.

I sighed rolling my eyes and then looking back at her glossy blue eyes, "After this, I promise you will never have to feel my absence again. Not unless you beg for it" I said and I was planning on keeping my word.

She finally looked up at me, her lips upturned in a slight smirk and a glint in her eyes.

That's what I love to see.

She'd grown so much and so beautifully, it was to my disadvantage because I knew I could never have her. I couldn't like her like that.

"Really?" She questioned crossing her arms.

I hummed in reply.

She was in a good mood. We were really close, inches apart, leaning closer without even realizing it. I didn't think she realized it.

Maybe if I did what I'd been longing to do. Maybe if I showed her how I feel about her now, she would accept me.

I looked down at her daring lips and then up at her challenging eyes.

But those eyes were no longer challenging. She looked like she had finally realized how close we were.

She wasn't ready.

I didn't pull back. I couldn't, I felt magnetized.

So instead of kissing her lips like I wanted, I kissed the side of her lips. As close as I knew I could get away with, and then her cheek.

"I'll miss you" I whispered hoping she felt the same.

But she didn't say anything. She was flushed, I could see that.

I loved that.