Football, Pumpkin Pie, Oh My!

BROOKE

“Someone’s here,” I say. I can hear car wheels pulling in, crunching down Colin’s driveway of crushed seashells.

Thank God! Because before that interruption, I started to feel myself fall. I wanted to believe Colin. I wanted to kiss him more than anything.

But I know myself. If I let one brick in my protective wall move, the whole thing comes crumbling down. I don’t know if I’m ready to expose my heart like that. Especially to another football player.

“Mom?” Colin calls out, looking to the front of the house where an older woman is heading toward the front porch. He looks confused as to what she’s doing here.

“SURPRISE!” she shouts. Colin and I walk over to the porch to join her, while a man I assume is Colin’s father gets out of the car.

“Definitely a surprise!” Colin says. Maybe I’m imagining it, but he sounds a little disappointed to be interrupted—for good, now that his house is going to be full of unexpected guests.

“Well, you couldn’t come home to us, so we came to you!” his mom says, pulling him in for a hug.

“Mom, this is Brooke. Brooke, this is my mom, Denise,” Colin introduces.

“Oh! Brooke! It’s so nice to meet you, honey. We’ve heard so much about you!”

“You—?” I’m shocked Colin’s mentioned me to his family at all, but Denise doesn’t give me time to express it.

“Colin here said he couldn’t come home for Thanksgiving since he couldn’t miss a therapy session. You must have him under strict orders!”

“Wha—?”

“Mom!” Colin gives her a look and whispers, “Please!” like he doesn’t want her to give away any more information.

But I’m quickly realizing she’s like Julie and doesn’t have a filter, because she ignores Colin’s hints and turns to me again.

“We were so looking forward to spending a holiday with him, since he’s usually always traveling and tied up with games, so we thought we’d come to you this year.

“This must be Luna!” she adds, crouching down to greet my attention-hungry dog as she comes running at the newcomers soaking wet. Sydney follows a few steps behind, looking uncharacteristically shy.

“You’re such a good girl! Yes, you are!” says Denise, talking to Luna in a babyish voice and apparently not caring that she’s getting covered in wet, sandy dog hair.

Colin gestures Sydney forward. “Mom, Dad, this is Sydney, Brooke’s daughter. Brooke, this is my dad, Roger.”

“Aren’t you a sweet ray of sunshine. Come meet Jacob and Sophie. They’re about your age,” Roger says, just as a second car pulls into the driveway.

“Wait, you all came? Colin sounds even more surprised now.

“Of course! Andy, Holly, and the kids! Everyone except Markus. He stayed home to take care of the shelter.”

Colin turns to me. “Markus is my youngest brother,” he informs me, and then his mom speaks up again, interrupting before he can say anything more.

“Yup, and he finally settled down with a nice girl back home. I wouldn’t be surprised if he pops the question soon. So that just leaves my oldest son to finally settle down and give me more grandkids!”

Colin rolls his eyes, looking embarrassed again at his mother’s lack of boundaries. “Okay, Mom!” he says, scratching at the back of his neck.

“Oh,” she goes on, “I’m so happy you ended things with that sour face Natali. She was never right for you, Colin!” Colin’s eyes bulge like he didn’t want me to hear that, but it’s too late. I’m sure my shock must be resonating on my face.

“Hey, Colin! Did you know Sydney here likes to play football?” Roger shouts from the backyard. Colin's quick to change the atmosphere, and runs with the new subject.

“Yes I did, Pops! Let’s get a game going!”

Before he can walk away, though, I put my hand out to his chest to stop him. “You don’t plan on playing, do you?” I point my eyes down to his boot. It seems he always needs reminding that he can’t do what he wants to.

“You better sit this one out. Maybe try your hand at coaching,” I add with a smirk as he sulks.

To his credit, Colin shakes off his sulk enough to introduce me to his brother Andy and his wife Holly. The kids hit it off with Syd, and right away we’re all taking turns chasing after Luna.

Not long after that, a family football game does indeed break out—adults against kids, with Colin on the sidelines clapping and coaching the kids’ team.

It’s adorable how seriously he takes this job, huddling up with them after every down to discuss plays. I watch the kids having fun, and finally go stand next to Colin.

“Well, I know you don’t want to hear this, but you’d be a great coach,” I say with a beaming smile. I still want to prove my point that there are other ways to have football in his life besides playing.

“Well, I know you don’t want to hear this,” he mimics me. “But Syd is an amazing football player.”

“Touché,” I reply with a sour face.

“I’m serious,” he says, turning toward me fully. “Why not let her play?”

“Look at your foot for starters!” I throw my hands on my hips.

“Not everyone gets hurt like me, Brooke. Syd’s probably facing more dangers in the world with a peanut allergy than she would if you let her play.”

I’ve racked up a lot of fears and worries over the years, ever since I first found out Syd had a peanut allergy—or maybe it started on the day she was born. Suddenly, it all comes rushing out of my mouth for the first time.

“I can’t have anything happen to her, Colin. I just can’t.” I feel my emotions start bubbling in my stomach and welling up in my throat.

“She’s everything to me. She’s my whole life. I—I think I’d literally die if anything happened to her.”

He lets out a serious sigh. “I know you’re afraid. Every parent will always worry about their kids. But I think you’re more afraid that football will do what it did to you. Hurt her, like it hurt you.”

I feel a tear drip down my cheek. I didn’t even realize my eyes were welling up. I try to turn my face away, but Colin has already noticed. He cups my cheeks, holding me still.

“You’re a wonderful mom, but just like every other parent in the world, there’s going to come a time when you can’t protect her from everything. You just have to support her from the sidelines.”

I hate hearing that because I know he’s right. I’ve never wanted to think about Sydney getting any older, gaining her independence, and leaving me behind.

She’s the one love of my life who’s ever stuck around with me. The one love who loves me back, needs me as much as I need her. I can’t think about the day I’ll have to let her make her own decisions.

One day, I know, I’ll watch her get hurt by her first crush, her first love. For now, though, I want to protect her from everything. I never want her to feel the hurt and pain I’ve unfortunately grown accustomed to.

“LUNA!” I hear, from someone other than me for once. I look behind Colin in time to see Luna run into the game and grab the football away from one of the kids.

As she’s running away, her teeth pop the ball. Everyone groans, but Luna just keeps running, delighted with her slowly-deflating prize.

“I have another ball, let me grab it,” Colin says.

“No, no! Enough with the football! I think it’s time for some desserts! What do you say, kids? Who wants some pumpkin pie?” his mom shouts.

“YEAH!” they all chorus. I’m happy to see Syd getting along with the others, slinging her arm around Sophie’s shoulder as they head inside. I’ve always wanted Syd to find more friends her own age.

“Last one inside is a rotten egg!” Colin’s dad calls out, and the kids take off running toward the house.

“SYD! Read the label!” I shout after her in a panic.

“I already did. It’s fine,” Colin says, taking my hand in his. “Take a walk with me?” he asks before leading the way toward the beach. I decide not to comment on the handholding or wonder what it means.

The sun is going down, just the edges of pink streaking the horizon. We walk silently, holding hands down the beach, with Luna sniffing her way ahead of us, until the sun touches the edge of the ocean.

I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to stop walking. It feels like if we keep walking, we can walk away from life altogether. We won’t have to make decisions or face any consequences.

I just want to feel nothing with him in this moment together, his fingers intertwined with mine. But I know I have to face reality at some point.

“Are you ready to talk?” he asks.