Part 13

That night, when everything was silent and Lil' Petey was sleeping soundly in his room, Petey was still awake. The house was wrapped in the stillness characteristic of the early hours, only interrupted by the soft whisper of the wind that slipped through the cracks in the window. The clock on the wall marked the late hour, but Petey lacked the strength to close his eyes.

He lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, trapped in his thoughts, as if suspended in a place between wakefulness and sleep, where emotions mixed with shadows. No matter how much he tried to distract himself, the same image kept repeating in his mind: Dog Man kissing him on the cheek.

It was a thought he couldn't shake off, no matter how hard he tried. That image, so simple and yet so overwhelming, wrapped around him again and again. The warmth of that contact still seemed to burn his skin, as if the traces of the kiss were imprinted on his face, a memory too fresh, too real. Every time he closed his eyes, he felt the brief brush of Dog Man's lips on his skin, so fleeting, but so intense, as if time had stopped at that exact moment.

It shouldn't have meant anything. It was just a gesture. Something so mundane, so simple. A kiss on the cheek, nothing more. A gesture that anyone could have made without thinking.

Something childish. Something that didn't deserve to be so meaningful.

Dog Man didn't have any malice. There were no hidden intentions. Surely, to him, that kiss was nothing more than an ordinary display of affection. Something weightless, like when Lil' Petey hugged him without warning or when others congratulated him with a pat on the back. Nothing that could make his heart beat that way, nothing that could leave a mark on his chest.

But it did.

Damn it, it did.

Petey squinted, as if that could chase away the uncomfortable warmth he felt in his chest, as if he could erase the sense of vulnerability that consumed him. Why did Dog Man have to be like that? So sincere, so stubborn, so... genuine. So... good. Petey hated him for being so perfect in his imperfection, for being so simple and so complex at the same time. Why did he have to look at him like that? As if he saw him. As if he really believed in him. As if Petey were more than a cat full of mistakes, scars, and bad decisions. Why did he have to want him?

It wasn't fair.

Dog Man didn't understand what love did to people. He didn't understand that love didn't just build bridges; it also destroyed them. He loved without fear, without reservation, without worrying about the consequences. He did it as naturally as breathing, without thinking about the harm it could cause, without thinking about the cracks that could open in his own heart. As if love were something so simple, so pure, so easy.

But Petey knew the truth.

He had seen it in his mother.

An old memory emerged, as vivid as if it had happened yesterday. Petey saw himself as a young child, curled up in his bed, his head resting on the pillow, but with his eyes wide open. He knew his mother was nearby because he could hear her voice, but he couldn't fully understand what was happening. His mother had always been strong. She had always tried to be strong, even though sometimes she couldn't. Sometimes, Petey felt that she was exhausted, tired of fighting something invisible.

But he had also seen the nights when his mother cried silently, when she thought Petey was already asleep. She didn't want him to see her weak, but Petey knew. He heard the muffled sobs, the broken breaths trying to be silenced by a hand covering her face.

Because love had destroyed her.

Love for a man who never loved her enough. Love for someone who never stopped hurting her.

Petey remembered how his mother used to tell him that everything would be fine, that he didn't need to worry, that he didn't have to understand it yet. But he understood. He was a child, but he wasn't stupid.

He saw how love slowly consumed her, like a flame that at first seemed warm and comforting, but over time became destructive. He saw how the promises of happiness crumbled with every argument, with every hurtful word that he couldn't fully understand but saw reflected in his mother's sadness. He saw how the smile that used to light up her face faded over time, replaced by a silent sadness, a sadness that never quite disappeared.

All for love.

And Petey, ever since, knew that love only brought pain. That love wasn't something good, but something dangerous. That love only made people suffer. He saw it in his mother's eyes, in her hands, in her empty words, in her broken hope. So, he promised himself he would never fall into that trap.

Never depend on anyone.

Never give anyone the power to destroy him.

Never be that stupid.

Because in his mind, love was a sweet poison, a danger disguised as happiness. It was better to stay away, to keep everyone at a distance, because no matter how beautiful the beginning of the story was, the end would always be written with tears.

And yet, there was Dog Man, with his gesture so innocent, so pure. There he was, offering his affection without asking for anything in return. What made him so special? Petey squinted, feeling a pang in his chest. Why did it have to be him?

Why did Dog Man make him tremble?

The question repeated itself in Petey's mind over and over again, like an echo that wouldn't fade. Why did his stomach twist every time Dog Man looked at him like that?

It was a thought that tormented him, a feeling he couldn't understand or control. Why, for a second, had he wanted to believe him? He had wanted to believe in Dog Man's words, in his sincerity, in the way he looked at him as if he were worthy of that love. But that idea crumbled as quickly as it was born, because Petey knew what love could do to people. He knew that love could be a trap, a lie, something that only hurt you when you needed it most.

Why, when Dog Man touched him—no matter how insignificant the contact—did his skin react as if it had been electrified? A simple brush, a caress on the shoulder, a pat on the back, but Petey felt his skin burn, as if that touch awakened something inside him, something he didn't know if he was ready to face. Why, when Dog Man smiled, did he feel that damn heat spreading in his chest, a heat he couldn't put out?

It was as if that heat consumed him, as if it were a flame that ignited every time Dog Man looked at him with that smile so genuine, so pure, as if he accepted him just as he was, with all his shadows and flaws. But Petey didn't know how to respond to that. He didn't know how to accept such selfless, unconditional love.

Petey brought a hand to his face and let out a long, tired sigh. It didn't make sense. None of this made sense. Dog Man didn't understand. He didn't understand that Petey couldn't afford to feel this way. He couldn't risk falling into the same trap his mother had. He couldn't give his heart to someone only to have it shattered into a thousand pieces.

He couldn't be like his mother.

He couldn't be that stupid.

He couldn't.

Because if he did... If he did, and one day Dog Man decided he didn't actually want him that much... If one day he grew tired of him, if one day he left him, Petey wasn't sure he could handle it. The thought of losing him, of Dog Man stopping to look at him with that unconditional tenderness, terrified him more than he could admit.

But then, why were his eyes burning? Why did he feel a weight in his chest, as if something inside him were collapsing? As if he were losing control, as if the wall he'd built over the years to protect himself was starting to crack.

Why did his own conviction seem to weaken with each passing day, every time Dog Man was near, every time he touched him fearlessly, as if he didn't care what Petey was or what he had done?

Petey turned in bed, burying his face in the pillow. He tried not to think, tried to smother the questions that were suffocating him, but his mind kept racing in circles, unable to find peace. He wished he could stop thinking. He wished he could just ignore it, distance himself from the feelings that made him feel so vulnerable.

But he knew it was too late.

He couldn't ignore it. Not anymore.

Petey lay still in the dark, his face still buried in the pillow, as if he could smother his thoughts. His breathing was slow and heavy, but his mind couldn't find rest. He knew he couldn't allow himself to love Dog Man. He couldn't risk ending up like his mother, giving himself to someone only to be broken. Love wasn't for him. Love turned people into something fragile, dependent. It weakened him, made him vulnerable.

He couldn't afford that luxury.

He couldn't allow anyone to have that power over him.

But then, another thought slipped into his mind. A more bitter thought, one that made him tremble, as if something inside him was about to break. What if it wasn't just about being hurt?

What if... what if, in his attempt to protect himself, he ended up becoming his father?

The thought hit him like a punch in the stomach. Petey gritted his teeth, as if that could drive away the darkness that was forming in his chest.

His father...

That man had no excuses. He never did. He was cruel, distant, always with a cold word on his lips and an impenetrable wall in his eyes. He never allowed love to touch him, never let anyone get close enough to make him falter. And his mother... his mother had loved him anyway.

Petey never understood how she could do it.

How she could cling to someone who didn't give anything back. How she could keep hoping, even when it was clear that he would never change.

But Petey understood it now.

Now, he understood it better than ever.

Because he knew what it was like to be a bitter, selfish cat, incapable of accepting love, incapable of giving it. He knew what it was like to be someone who only brought pain to the people who cared about him.

Because he had done it.

Because he was doing it.

Lil' Petey cared about him... and yet, how many times had he responded with sarcasm and coldness? How many times had he avoided his hugs, pretending he didn't need them? How many times had he wanted to say something kind and stopped at the last moment, because he was too terrified to let him see him as anything more than a clumsy, distant father?

Dog Man cared about him... and instead of accepting it, he pushed it away, rejected it, hurt him. Petey remembered the confusion in Dog Man's eyes when he pushed him away abruptly. The way he'd lower his ears when Petey snapped at him. The way, despite everything, he always tried again. He always came back.

But how long would it last?

How much time would pass before Dog Man got tired?

Before he realized Petey wasn't worth it? Before one day, he simply stopped looking at him with that stupid tenderness and decided there was no point in trying anymore?

Because Petey knew how that story ended.

He'd seen it before. He'd lived it before.

If this kept going... If it kept going, one day Lil' Petey would stop looking at him with that childish admiration. One day, Dog Man would give up. One day, everyone would leave. And he'd be left alone. Just like his father. Just like he had always feared.

Fear curled in his chest, stronger than ever. It paralyzed him, left him breathless. Because deep down, he'd always thought he was different. That he would never become someone like him. That he would never do what his father did.

But... what if he'd always been meant to be this way?

What if it was inevitable?

Petey opened his eyes in the dark.

He realized he didn't know which scared him more:

Being hurt...

Or becoming the monster he'd been running from his whole life.

Petey stayed there, in the dark, feeling how the weight of his own thoughts slowly faded. The idea that had taken shape in his mind wasn't easy to accept, but as the minutes passed, it began to gain strength: maybe he was wrong.

Maybe he didn't have to protect himself from everything.

He had lived so long isolated, building invisible walls to keep others at bay. His fear of being hurt, his obsession with avoiding pain, had turned him into someone incapable of accepting what others had to offer. In his mind, people could only hurt him, no matter how good their intentions were. But as the memories of his interactions with Dog Man and Lil' Petey piled up in his mind, something started to change.

Dog Man had never hurt him.

He was always there, showing generosity and kindness so pure that sometimes Petey didn't know what to do with it. Dog Man didn't see him as a monster, didn't judge him for his past or his flaws. He just accepted him, simply because he did. And Lil' Petey... had always been by his side, trusting him with blind faith, offering affection even when Petey didn't know how to return it.

It was painful to admit, but love was there. It wasn't something to fear, nor something to avoid at all costs. If there was one thing his mother had taught him, it was that love wasn't always easy or free from pain, but it was also everything. Love was the only thing that had kept him alive in the worst of times, the only thing that had given him a reason to keep going.

Maybe making mistakes and suffering once in a while was okay.

Maybe, in the end, the only thing that mattered was trying to be happy, even if it meant exposing oneself to pain. Because if he suffered, it was because he had once been truly happy. And that, in itself, was worth it.

Petey sighed deeply, looking at the shadows in the room. The doubts didn't disappear completely, and he knew he would still be afraid to love. But something inside him had changed. Maybe he didn't have to have all the answers, didn't have to understand everything right away. Maybe he didn't have to be perfect, or even control every single one of his feelings. The mere act of allowing himself to feel was already a step toward something new.

He turned in bed and looked toward the window. The cold night air slipped through the cracks, gently brushing his face, and for a moment, Petey allowed himself to feel the peace that came with that acceptance. Maybe he still couldn't let go of all his fears, but he would try. He would let people love him, even if it meant being vulnerable. Because love wasn't just about avoiding pain; it was about living fully, with everything it entailed.

With a shy, almost imperceptible smile, Petey closed his eyes. He had taken a step forward. Maybe, one day, he could look at himself in the mirror and see someone different, someone who wasn't afraid of the affection of others, someone who could love without reservations, like Greg did.

And if he failed along the way... well, that was part of living. But at least, he wouldn't stay in the darkness, bound by his own fears.

Fear would still be there, but it wouldn't be the one to control his decisions. It was time to let love in, even if only a little, into his life.

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Hello, sorry this chapter was just Petey's thoughts, but I needed to give him a moment to think about his current situation.

As always, thank you so much to everyone for reading this story, you really encourage me to keep writing hehe.

And I'll take this chance to do a little more spam... go read Killing & Barking, in my opinion, it's good, it's different but good.😭