I've been having dreams again
I've been stalking your page
You haven't been there in years babe
But I still remember our younger days
I don't know why I still harp on the unforgiven
The long forgotten and the time and place
I bet you've moved on successfully
I bet you don't remember my birthday
And every once in a while it feels like sixth grade
Everyone hates me but the paranoia comes from feeling you slip away
And I'm not saying you killed me
But I just wondered if you've ever felt the same
In the duel did we both draw blood?
Or in the shootout did the bullet recoil and I shot myself?
Did it ever hurt you to see me go?
Or was I foolish since the beginning to ever extend my love?
I know what I did wrong
I know it's not all your fault
I've sent out childhood apologies
Don't know if you've ever read them though
I know you're in the vicinity
That fate refuses to let us cross paths
I don't know how to contact you
But you've always known and you've chosen to stand back
Your silence isn't a good enough answer
But you refuse to extend good grace
The gemini in you has never known what to make of it
Whether to forgive or hold against me the errors of my younger days
And you don't owe me anything
Believe me when I say I know
But when I went digging through old electronics
In my 3Ds you left a voice note
You asked if you were hearing yourself 10 years later
I tell myself that you must've believed in us at some point
And almost 10 years later I wish we could talk it all out
Give me the chance despite never having bothered all the times I reached out
Written on: Feb 11, 2024