Chapter 37: The Fake Zone: Chapter 37

Euphoria consumes me. Everything seems within reach and plausible as Mila wraps her arms around my shoulders, her breaths fast and hard.

I kiss her temple and roll to my back, taking her with me so she lies across my chest.

She makes an amused sound and tucks her face against my neck as I smooth her hair. “What are we going to tell Hudson?” she asks.

I run my hand over her hair again. “Depends on what you want him to know.”

Her fingers trace a pattern across my chest. “If we’re not dating, what are we?”

My relief at her question is so great it feels as though my entire body sighs. I lean forward to kiss her forehead. “We can call it dating, but the way I’ll look at it is that we’re together. A team.”

“A team can consist of a lot of people…”

My arm around her waist constricts. “Exclusively a duo.”

She shifts and pushes up on her arms, her breasts pressed against my chest. It takes everything in me not to glance down and marvel at her nakedness against me. Her silver eyes hold a note of hesitance before she swallows. “I just want to be sure you don’t feel obligated. That sex hormones and this ridiculous Julian Holloway mess isn’t making you feel like you have to—”

“Don’t finish that thought,” I tell her, shaking my head. “I meant every word, Mila. You’ve been mine for the past two and a half years, and fuck knows I’ve been yours.”

Questions or maybe doubts flare in her eyes.

I spread my hand around the back of her head and kiss her, knowing I won’t be able to convince her now, maybe not even in a week or a month, but eventually, she’ll know how damn hard it’s been to remain away from her and not push her when I knew she wasn’t ready.

“What about football and being too busy?” she asks.

“You make me want it even more. You will never be a distraction but a reason. My reason.”

Understanding shines in her eyes. “I wasn’t lying to you, either. I have abandonment and trust issues. They can make me feel jealous and insecure, and…”

“I want you,” I tell her. “I want you just the way you are.”

“How does this change things?”

“For starters,” I say. “No more falling asleep on the opposite side of the bed, as far away as possible.”

She laughs, laying her cheek against my chest. “As if that matters. I wake up plastered to your side every morning.”

I grip her thigh, and pull her leg up, draping it over my waist. “And your pajamas are staying in that damn suitcase.”

Mila chuckles. “We’re going to have to figure out the rest of the details later because book club starts in ten minutes, and I need a shower.” She presses a chaste kiss to my chest and slowly slides off my body, getting to her feet.

Her cheeks flush for half a beat, and she moves to her bag, digging through her things to get what she needs before she peers back at me. “You can join me if you want. We don’t have time for … but if you need to shower…”

I’m out of bed in a second, following her into the bathroom.

Mila steps into the warm shower. I dispose of the condom and follow her. The water scalds my feet, but it doesn’t faze her as she tips her head back, wetting her hair. Her back arches, her breasts on display, rose nipples soft peaks. My cock twitches, and my blood thrums, hot and needy.

As she straightens, her gaze drops to my erection, and she catches her bottom lip between her teeth. Her eyes are dilated and bright with desire. “Grab a condom.”

“I thought we don’t have time for…”

She slips a hand down her front, dipping it between her legs.

“Don’t you dare stop,” I tell her. Wet footprints mark my path to the bedroom, where I grab a condom from the floor. I have it on before reaching the shower.

Mila’s standing under the spray, back arched and lips parted as she looks at me while she thrusts her finger inside of her.

I move closer, and as her finger sinks inside of her, I rub my thumb over her clit.

She gasps and the sound is quickly chased by a moan. While she has a finger buried inside of herself, I slide one of mine in as well.

We work in unison for several minutes, the scene so perfect and erotic I know it will consume my thoughts for weeks. She slips her hand free and turns around, placing her hands on the wall.

I cover her left hand with mine, and her back arches, ready for me. In one hard thrust, I’m inside of her.

Her cry of ecstasy vibrates in my chest, and I grip her waist. My thrusts are hard and deep, my pace matching her breaths. I want to draw this out, enjoy having her hot, wet, and needy, but the reminder of our friends waiting for us has me dipping my hand between her legs as my pace increases. The slap of our skin, the tightness of her, and Mila’s gentle cries as she orgasms have me quickly following her release.

I kiss along her bare shoulder as I slip out of her heat, knowing I’ll never get my fill of her but looking forward to trying.

Two hours later, I’m holding a hand of cards I should have folded, my attention straying to Mila for probably the hundredth time since we arrived at Hudson’s dorm.

“Any news on the psycho?” Corey asks.

Hudson and I exchange a look, and both shake our heads.

“What are we going to do? How long do you think the university will be cool with us having them stay here? Someone’s going to say something. And in a couple of weeks, it will be March, which means longer practices and gym time…”

“We do this as long as we have to,” I say. “We’ll figure shit out and make it work. If Hudson and I have to move off campus because they won’t allow them to stay, then we’ll do that.”

“Mila stayed with me for over a month, and no one said a damn thing,” Hudson says. “If someone has a problem with the situation, they can talk to me.”

Over on the sectional, the girls burst into laughter, and I glance up to see Hadley nodding and Evelyn leaning into Mila, who rests her head on Evelyn’s.

“Yeah,” Palmer says. “Or me. Because we’re not going to let a goddamn thing happen.”

Corey nods. “Agreed. This is coming out wrong. I’ll walk Mila to class every goddamn day if that keeps her safe. I’m just asking what our next steps are. How do we ensure that next year when we have away games, nothing will happen? Is there someone we can talk to? Something more we can do?”

“Not yet,” Hudson says. It’s a waiting game at this point, and it leaves us uneasy because we’re the offensive line, used to forcing our will and advantage.

I nod and fold my cards, making the excuse I need to get something to drink because the conversation leaves me feeling restless and useless.

Nolan follows me into the small kitchen, grabbing one of the tarts Hadley made. He leans against the counter beside me as I fill a glass with water. “Are you going to tell her?”

“Tell who what?” I ask.

“Mila.”

My gaze jumps to his.

“You’ve had feelings for Mila as long as I’ve known you. You should tell her. Something good should come out of all this shit.”

I give him a blank stare.

He smirks. “You think I missed how you looked at me like you wanted to feed me my own scrotum last year when I flirted with Mila.” He takes a bite of the tart and raises a brow. “You should tell her.”

I nearly admit I did, but Hudson joins us. His expression relaxed. “They’re talking about working out with Mila,” he says, tipping his head to the girls.

I scoff as I shake my head. “Mila’s idea?”

Hudson grins. “Of course.”

“Katie already excels at bringing guys to their knees. Just ask her to teach them.” Nolan gestures to his sister.

Hudson and I chuckle, but the idea is already percolating in my thoughts, wondering what Mackey’s reaction would be to find a gym full of women wanting to learn self-defense. Abe would lose his shit.

“Mila and I are still doing cardio every morning. Anyone’s welcome to join.” A part of me regrets the invitation as soon as it leaves my mouth. I like having that time alone with Mila. The secrets she entrusts me with. The private smiles.

“Hannah and Hadley don’t get out of bed before ten unless there’s a fire,” Nolan says.

“Let me know,” I say.

We stay at Hudson’s for another hour before Mila turns to me with bleary eyes.

“You look tired.”

“You’re not supposed to tell women that,” she reminds me, pointing at me.

Evelyn grins. “You do look like you’re ready to fall asleep.”

“I am,” Mila admits, laying her head on the arm of the couch.

“I bet we know someone who could carry you to bed,” Hannah chimes, looking at me.

“Indeed,” Hadley sings.

Nolan’s elbow finds my side.

Mila’s gaze swims with amusement as she slowly unfolds from the couch and stands.

“This was fun,” she says, gathering a handful of cups. “I’m glad we did this.”

“Me, too,” Hadley says, helping Mila gather and carry the last cups into the kitchen. “Who wants to pick the next book? Or do we just make Mila the designated librarian?”

“In Mila we trust,” Hannah says.

Evelyn beams like a proud sister.

“Rather than wait another month to get together, I think we should do a Galentine’s next week. We can do it at our place or a restaurant?” Hadley says.

“What in the hell’s Galentine’s?” Nolan asks.

“A celebration of friendship,” Hadley says. “And Valentine’s Eve, so you have plenty of time to prepare for Valentine’s.”

Palmer prods him.

“I’m in,” Mila says.

Evelyn nods. “Let’s do it.”

When we return to my room, Mila barely has time to kick off her flip-flops before I tag her around the waist, pulling her back against my chest. “They already know. We should talk to Hudson tomorrow.”

“Are you nervous?”

I shake my head. “No. Are you?”

“A little. You’re Hudson’s best friend on the team.”

It was a contributing reason for avoiding her my freshman year. I bury my nose in her hair, pressing my lips to her temple. This simple gesture, the ability to hold and touch her as easily as breathing, is how I know we were inevitable.

I also knew it when I couldn’t bring another woman into my bed, and I had to avoid Mila whenever she brought a guy around.

I kiss her temple. “Let’s get ready for bed.”

“Are we really going to the gym tomorrow?” she asks, spreading toothpaste on her toothbrush. “I thought we were taking a break?”

I nod. “We are. It will be a light day.”

“That’s not a break.”

“We should work on holds again.”

Her eyes find mine in the mirror, and I see hesitation shine in her reflection. She doesn’t like the holds, but since most attacks begin with one of three holds, it’s one of the most crucial lessons for her to learn right now.

I set a reassuring hand on her back as we brush our teeth.

As we climb into bed, Mila’s phone chirps.

“Everything okay?” I ask.

“It’s Alex. He’s asking if I like this jacket.” She twists her phone to show me the screen.

“Is there a story about you and coats? My mom loves handbags, but is your thing coats?”

Her lips tip into a smile, but I know it’s fake. I know her too well.

“When they came and met me in Oklahoma, it was March. It had been a record cold month, and I didn’t own a coat. They couldn’t take me the same day, so they left their coats with me. It’s one of those things they can’t unsee.” Her eyes are filled with a worldly glint, a reminder of my question earlier regarding the scars on her wrists.

“Do you keep in touch with anyone from Oklahoma?”

“I have an uncle who reaches out occasionally, but I’ve only met him once. He asked Alex and Jon for money, and they gave him some. I don’t know how much, but he didn’t reach out again for like a year, and it was to ask for more money.”

I frown, hating him already.

Mila prods me with her elbow. “Dustin said you’re one of the only people who can beat Cole. Did you ever do underground fights?”

I nod. “I did. I probably would have stuck with it, but it requires being in the gym even more than football. School or a job are next to impossible, and I wasn’t willing to take the gamble. I wanted a contingency plan.”

“Do you miss it?”

“I’ve always loved football more, but there are days I miss the ring. Fighting, especially MMA, requires a lot of physical and mental strength. Getting into your opponent’s head and anticipating their movements and weaknesses can be intoxicating.”

Mila moves her leg over to rest between mine. “I’m glad you chose football since it brought you to Camden.”

My hand around her shoulder constricts, drawing her closer. “Me, too.”

The frost is so thick when we wake up, we skip the track. Mila doesn’t object. She sips her coffee from the passenger seat, quiet like she is most mornings.

Abe and Cole are already working out when we arrive.

Cole takes one look at my hand on Mila’s shoulder and grins. “What do you want to start with today?”

Mila strips off her sweatshirt and heads to the back of the gym to grab a jump rope to warm up.

We work on breaking out of holds for the next two hours before heading to the café where Evelyn works. Hudson’s in the back, working on homework, a cup of coffee and a sandwich in front of him.

“Hey,” he says, moving a textbook over so we can join him. “How was the gym?”

“Good.” Mila’s voice is high, her nerves palpable.

Hudson looks from Mila to me, and then back at her.

Mila drums her fingertips against the table. “I have a confession to make.”

Hudson leans back in his chair.

“I kissed Mila,” I blurt.

Hudson’s gaze shifts to me.

“I kissed him back,” Mila adds. His eyes jog back to her. “I assumed something was happening when you didn’t knee him in the balls after he kissed you at the booster event.”

I assumed no one had seen me kiss Mila because no heckle or comment had been made about it.

“You should tell Evelyn. She’s been dying to talk to you about it.” Hudson inclines his head to the counter where Evelyn’s helping a customer.

Mila gives him a final glance before getting in line.

“Are you okay with this?” I ask.

Hudson picks up his coffee. “I wouldn’t have let her stay with you if I didn’t trust you.” He takes a drink.

“No warning or threat?”

Hudson gives a crooked grin. “Mila’s been letting you in little by little for a while. You mean something to her, and I’m not going to ruin that. Mila’s experienced enough loss. She deserves people in her life who want to be there for her and care for her, so as long as that’s your intention, we’re cool.”

I nod. “You have my word.”