Chapter 27: Christmas Blues

CLARA

The ride back to my apartment seemed to pass in the blink of an eye.

Elias never let go of my hand, and I caught him staring at me far more than he should have been while driving.

I ~might~ have “accidentally” brushed his thigh a couple of times with my pinky finger and snickered when his breath caught in his chest.

“You’re an ass,” he accused, but I only gave him a wide smile and a kiss on the back of his hand.

He followed me into my apartment and pulled me into his arms on the couch.

“Are you ready to go get that new mattress?”

“Unfortunately, I’m back with plenty of time to get ready for work.”

Elias’s eyebrows furrowed, his eyes closed, and he nuzzled the top of my head.

“I thought you were playing hooky to spend time with me today,” he argued in a voice thick with disappointment.

He wrapped his legs around mine, trapping me like an octopus.

“That was when I thought we wouldn’t get back in time,” I replied. “Besides, I’m still new at work. I’m in the ‘best behavior’ period for at least the next three months.”

“You’re no fun.” Elias gave me one final squeeze and let me go.

I was caught off guard by this new side of Elias, but…I liked it. He was cute and cuddly and possessive, and it made my frozen old heart flutter. Okay, so maybe he’d made it flutter from the first time he opened the door, but I digress.

I risked kissing him on the tip of his nose and started changing.

For the second time, I saw a smile on that ruggedly handsome face. He pulled himself off the couch, his eyes rarely leaving me. I’d say I felt like I was being hunted by a wolf, but that would be hitting the nail too hard on the head.

“What are you doing?” I asked, gesturing to his gaze.

“Just remembering what I saw last night,” he rumbled.

I felt my cheeks begin to warm. I hurriedly finished buttoning my pants, put my belongings back in my purse, and stood at the door.

“I’m glad you liked it,” I said lamely.

“You still could play hooky. I had you convinced yesterday,” Elias said, walking up and wrapping his large, muscular arms around my shoulders.

I took a deep breath, and my nose was filled with the scent of pine. His heat and strong embrace weakened my will, but I remained steadfast. Somehow.

“I won’t fall for that! I am going to work.”

I tried to pull out of Elias’s grasp to prove my point, only to find that I was barely able to move at all. I felt his chest rumble with a silent laugh, and he let me go.

I berated myself for being so damn responsible. I’d just unlocked new bonus content in the Elias department! But I couldn’t justify skipping work like a twentysomething who still lived at home with Mom and Dad.

As we stood in the doorway, I planted a kiss firmly on Elias’s lips. He wrapped his hand around the back of my head and pulled me tighter against him, pulling the breath from my lungs until I was afraid I might faint.

I was definitely dizzy when he finally released me.

“I’ll pick you up after work, and we’ll get your mattress. I’m not letting my luna sleep on the floor for one more night.”

His stony face had “you can’t change my mind” written all over it, so I gave him a smile and nodded.

Elias got into his Jeep and disappeared down the road.

The entire drive to work consisted of me alternating between yelling along to the song on the radio and kicking myself for letting Elias drive away.

I thought I had it bad before, but that was nothing compared to how I felt now that I’d accepted being his partner. “Mate” still sounded a little too intense and permanent, but we’d definitely moved past “friends.”

Such thoughts must have been written all over my face because Jason shot me a look as soon as I approached our desks.

I self-consciously looked down in case I’d done something dumb like tucked my skirt into my underwear or stepped on a bit of damp toilet tissue, but came up with nothing.

“What are you looking at, Foster?” I teased.

“Hey, using your last name is ~my~ thing,” Jason retorted, feigning the highest offense.

He just looked like a five-year-old trying to convince his mom he hadn’t eaten the last cookie while having chocolate smeared all over his face.

“Anyway, you seem more enthusiastic than usual, without even tasting the coffee I brought you.”

I spotted the usual cup on my desk and took a sip. Today’s offering was some kind of peppermint mocha, which I drained as I set up for the day.

I sat in my chair and stared at the jolly Christmas pattern of snowflakes and peppermints around the rim, suddenly realizing how close the holiday really was.

Which, of course, set me down the trail of Christmas memory lane.

It was the one time of year when Grant seemed to actually be ~happy~.

He’d drag me around town to look at the lights, spend hours wandering through the shopping mall just window shopping, and even spend the weekends baking Christmas cookies with me.

But this year, there would be none of that. No more Grant. No more waking up stupidly early on Christmas morning to watch him unwrap presents with more exuberance than any child. No more feeling like maybe, ~just maybe,~ things would stay this way when New Year’s rolled around.

By the time I realized tears were running down my cheeks, Jason was already hovering with a tissue.

Embarrassed, I accepted it and wiped my face.

Idiot, letting myself indulge in self-pity at work! This was definitely a “hiding-in-my-bedroom-with-a-pint-of-ice-cream-and-a-chick-flick” kind of self-conversation.

“You’re staring at that coffee cup like it insulted your lineage all the way back to Adam,” he softly teased, pulling another tissue from the box. “What’s up, Parks? You’ve done an emotional one-eighty in the last five minutes.”

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to slap him for being nosy or wrap my arms around him for support. The latter seemed inappropriate considering my recent change in relationship status, but I also didn’t need to be dragged to HR this morning, either.

So I pushed the cup away and decided to settle for using my words.

“Just thinking about how different this Christmas will be. It’s my first one alone in a new city. It feels…really lonely. I didn’t realize how isolated I was feeling until literally this moment.”

A new wave of tears managed to escape, and I accepted the fresh tissue from Jason.

He frowned and rolled his chair over to sit next to me.

“Hey, Parks, I can only imagine how you’re feeling right now. You’re starting over entirely, and that’s a huge challenge! But you already have people here to support you.

“If you need somewhere to be on Christmas Day, you’re welcome at my apartment. And I’m happy to join you in any traditions that you would particularly miss. Anything that will make your first Christmas in Melville a happy one.”

Jason reached out and gave my hand a squeeze, but I pulled it away quickly. I appreciated his support, but I didn’t need to let him start any bad habits that could lead to awkward situations down the line.

“That’s really sweet of you, Jason. I’ll see how I feel as it gets closer. And I wouldn’t be surprised if Elias insists on spending Christmas with me.”

“Ah. Yeah. Well, just let me know. I’ll make time anytime.”

Jason shot me a smile full of sunshine, and I felt a twinge in my heart. He would certainly be a much safer, calmer option for a relationship. But I couldn’t deny that my soul seemed bound to Elias in an inexplicable way.

I threw away the coffee cup and buried myself in my work for the rest of the day.

Anytime my thoughts started drifting back to Christmas and my terrible ex, I forcefully reminded myself that I’d be seeing Elias again in just a handful of short hours. And I would no longer have to sleep on the floor!

Jason kept glancing at me, but I did my best to ignore him. I didn’t like the pity in his eyes, or the longing behind it.

I did, somehow, make it through the day and barely reached the front doors to the office building when my phone began to ring.