Chapter 37

Hayley

“Thanks to everyone for being here on such short notice, for such a heartbreaking event. Today, we bid farewell to those we loved, those who brought us joy, and those who bravely gave their lives to protect us.”

“They’ll always be with us, as if they were standing right next to us, keeping us company. They’re now under the protection of the Moon Goddess, and I trust she’ll take good care of them,” Jax says, his voice heavy with sorrow.

He’s wearing a black suit with a slim black tie, matching my fitted black dress that falls to my knees. The pack has followed our lead, dressing in black to honor those they once knew.

The service is taking place in a clearing deep in the woods, where tombstones dot the landscape. Jax, Axton, and I stand on a small hill, overlooking the pack. Between us and them are the coffins, arranged in three rows. We’ve lost thirty-one members in total, and some are still battling for their lives in the hospital.

Rain pelts the ground as gray clouds blanket the sky, reflecting the sorrow we all feel inside. I like to think the Moon Goddess is crying with us.

“As your Alpha, I want to apologize for failing in my duties. My job is to keep you all safe, and I failed. Lives were lost because of my actions, and I can’t express how guilty I feel,” Jax chokes out, tears slowly trickling down his cheeks.

My heart clenches at the sight of him breaking down in front of his pack. Alphas are supposed to keep their emotions in check, to appear calm and collected. So seeing Jax struggling to breathe through his sobs, I know he’s hurting.

Deciding to take control, I step forward and place a hand on his back, rubbing it in soothing circles. I whisper, “Let me,” through our matebond as I move to the center, with Jax and Axton on either side of me.

Swallowing my nerves, I take a deep breath and force myself to look up. Despair is etched on every face, but there’s also a hint of curiosity in their eyes. I’ve never officially addressed the pack, so they must be wondering why I’m doing so now.

“I want to apologize for the heartbreak you’re all experiencing—I feel it too...What happened yesterday shouldn’t have happened. Please don’t blame Jax, blame me. If I hadn’t come to this pack, you’d still have your loved ones and you wouldn’t be suffering right now.”

Whispers fill the air as their confusion grows. I hear Jax’s protests that it’s not my fault, that it’s his, but I don’t listen. He doesn’t want me to shoulder all the blame, but the truth is, I am the reason, and it can’t be hidden anymore.

I take a shaky breath before continuing. “There’s something I haven’t told you. Something that’s now affected not just my life, but yours as well,” I say, my voice trembling. My palms start to sweat, and I wiggle my toes nervously. I can do this. They deserve to know, even if it means my happiness comes to an end. This has to be done.

“I’ll start from the beginning. My mother died giving birth to me...and my father blames me for it. He locked me up. Kept me in a cell and beat me until I couldn’t remember my name.” Small gasps echo around me, but I press on as if I didn’t hear them.

“To cut a long story short, I escaped. I ran away...and that’s when I found Jax. He helped me,” I say, glancing back at my mate and giving him a small, sad smile.

Taking a deep breath, I brace myself for the worst. “But you see, my father is the Alpha of Bloodnight Pack...and he wants me back. As you know, it’s a crime to abuse someone within the same pack, so he’s been trying to get to me before anyone found out.

“He knew if anyone ever discovered what he did to me, he’d end up in a cell, just like I used to be. And that’s why,” I choke, “That’s why rogues invaded our lands and killed members of this pack. My father ordered them to attack us. This is all my fault. I am so sorry.

I collapse onto my knees, sobbing into my hands, bracing myself for the shouts and accusations I’ve been dreading for so long. I deserve this. I didn’t deserve the abuse from my father, Jax made me realize that, but I caused these people pain and for that, I must face the consequences.

But nothing comes.

Just silence. The only sound for miles is the echo of my own thoughts. I slowly lift my head when a gentle hand touches my back, and I see every member on one knee, their necks tilted towards the sky. A sign of submission. What...

They’re not shouting at me or blaming me. My chest tightens as I feel a panic attack looming. I want them to shout at me, to blame me for what has happened. I want to shake them and tell them to hold me accountable for their loss.

I didn’t want to tell them that we had Rose’s phone so we should have known when the attack was coming, because that would shift the blame onto Jax. Without me coming to Midnight Rose in the first place, there would have been no text. In the end, it all comes back to me.

A woman—with piercing blue eyes—who I know lost her son in the rogue attack, slowly rises to her feet, and speaks.

“I don’t blame you. You didn’t ask for this to happen. You may share your father’s blood, but that doesn’t make this your fault. It’s his. I’m proud to say that my son fought to protect his Luna and that he didn’t die in vain.” Tears stream down her face and all I want to do is hold her.

A few seconds later, a man with sharp grey hair stands.

“My mate passed away yesterday, and I’m certain she’d agree with me when I say that you can’t be held responsible for your father’s actions. You’ve been through a horrific ordeal, something you had no control over. What he did to you was inexcusable, but I don’t—and can’t—blame you for what happened here yesterday.”

The crowd stands, nodding in agreement with the man and woman as I continue to sob, trying to accept the fact that they don’t hold me responsible for the loss of their loved ones.

***

The service ended about an hour ago, but Jax and I took the time to speak to each family that had lost someone, offering our condolences. I haven’t been able to stop crying, overwhelmed by the support from everyone.

Jax has stayed by my side, thankfully, whispering soothing words into my ear every few seconds to calm me down. I don’t think I’ll fully grasp that the pack doesn’t blame me for a while, but I’m determined to show them that their faith in me isn’t misplaced. I’ll do everything in my power to be the best Luna they’ve ever had.

Once everyone had gone back to their homes to mourn, Jax, Axton, and I headed to the hospital to check on Lily. I saw her before the funeral service—she was still unconscious, but Tom said that was normal because of the high dosage of painkillers she was on. Given her small size, they were making her drowsy.

I’m holding Lily’s hand as Tom updates us on what we missed while we were away for a few hours. “Her temperature started to rise, so I put her on an antibiotic drip which has helped a bit. Other than that, nothing has changed, and she’s still stable.” I give a small nod while Jax thanks him for his hard work.

Tom leaves the room, along with Axton, to give Jax and me a moment. Jax walks over and gives my shoulders a reassuring squeeze. “She’ll be okay, love.” I really hope he’s right. I don’t know what I’d do if she...

I suddenly realize that tears are streaming down my face as Jax gently wipes my cheeks with his thumbs. I don’t know how I still have tears left to cry. I thought I would have run out by now. I wish I could have just five minutes of peace to convince myself that everything is going to be okay.

“I know you don’t blame me...but I’ve brought this mess into your life. No one would have died because of me and none of us would be living in fear. For once, I’d like to live a normal life, with normal people, with no one trying to kill me,” I say, snorting.

“They’d never be able to get past me to touch you, my love. And anyway, this will all be over soon. Mateo will be here in a few hours, and we can live our normal life together. Just like we were meant to.”

“That sounds amazing,” I whisper, thinking about the life that Jax and I will have once all of this is over.

I place my hands on Jax’s, letting the sparks soothe me. But the calm doesn’t last long. Axton bursts through the door, his eyes wide, and says between sharp breaths, “Alpha Mason is here with warriors. He says he’s here to ‘collect Hayley’ and won’t leave until he has her.”

Numb.

That’s how I feel. My dad has come to take me back to my own personal hell. He walks onto my and my mate’s land as if he owns it and expects I’ll willingly go back with him. Well, he’s got another thing coming.

I’ll never go back with him or Luke. I’ve formed bonds with people I never thought possible. I now have a mate. And best friends, who he’s tried to kill. I’ll make him regret ever hurting the people I care about.

He can hurt me as much as he wants, but he’ll regret it if he touches the people I love. Even if that means I have to kill him myself.

I start to leave Lily’s room, ready to put an end to this whole ordeal, but Jax pulls me back.

“You’re not going anywhere, Hayley. He wants you. He wants what’s mine. I won’t let him see you, or even touch you, ever again. He’ll never be so lucky as to hear you breathe. You’re staying here,” Jax says, anger radiating off him.

“I’m coming with you, Jax,” I say, ignoring him.

“No. You’re not. You’re staying put and you won’t leave this room until I know it’s safe for you.”

“Is that an order?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.

“Hayley,” he sighs, knowing I’ve caught him. I’m not a member he can boss around. I’m his mate and his Luna, which makes us equals. He’s always treated me as such, and now isn’t the time to start making demands.

“I’m your Luna, which means I have as much right to protect this pack as you do. So, I’m coming with you.” I start walking towards the door, but Jax pulls me back again.

“You’re right, you are my Luna, but I won’t risk your safety.” Jax keeps his eyes on mine as he stands tall and warns, “Axton, don’t let her leave this room. If you do, I swear to the Moon Goddess I’ll have your head. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Alpha,” Axton replies, bowing his head. Jax storms out of the room, and I try to sneak out with him, but Axton blocks my path.

“Axton, let me through,” I say through gritted teeth.

“You know I can’t do that,” he says, exasperated.

I huff loudly as I try to find a way to escape. I walk over to Lily and brush some loose strands from her face. An idea hits me. I wait a few tense moments and give Lily a final look before I dart into the adjoining bathroom, slamming the door behind me before Axton has a chance to stop me.

The door shudders under the force of Axton’s fists, the wood starting to splinter. He’s calling my name, over and over, as I scramble to lock the door. It buys me a few precious seconds. In our world, things are built tough, built to withstand the strength of werewolves. But even the strongest things have their breaking point.

And Axton is close to breaking through. I can feel it. I don’t have much time. His force is relentless, and I can almost count the seconds I have left on one hand.

I rush to the window, my movements frantic. I throw it open as wide as it can go. Thank God we’re on the ground floor. The jump is small, manageable. I position myself on the ledge, my legs dangling out into the open air. Axton’s voice cuts through the silence, “Open this damn door, Hayley.”

I feel a pang of guilt. He’s trying to protect me. But in doing so, he’s preventing me from protecting the ones I love. I don’t hesitate. I jump, landing softly on the grass below.

A loud crash echoes behind me. The door. Axton’s curse follows. My legs are moving before I can even think, my senses guiding me in the right direction.

Footsteps. Axton’s not far behind. But this time, nothing will stop me. I’m going to get the revenge I deserve on my father...