What is love
After the guard left, we sat on the sofa quietly.
"I saw the room," I spoke.
"What?" He asked, turning around to face me.
"the art room," I explained."It was lovely, I had hoped that would not happen, it is sad to think it turned into ashes."
"It did not," he said, I looked at him puzzled. "Two days ago I made sure that the workers bring everything in that room out, they placed them in boxes. I did not want to take any chances, I knew it was not safe, so I brought them into safety. I made sure they took everything important out."
I immediately hugged him, I did not know why but I did. He did not hug me at first, but then he softened and hugged me tightly. We stayed that way for a long time. I inhaled his scent and everything felt alright at that moment.
"Don't ever go away," I mumbled into his neck. "Let the army handle everything, you could just stay in here and create the plans, demand them." I felt like crying, I could not bear the idea of losing him. "I do not care about anything else Clyde, I just don't want you to slip away from me. We will stay here, even if they reach us, at least I would die with you next to me."
"You won't die," I said. "I won't let anything happen to you."
"I am not afraid of dying," I said. "I am afraid to live without you." He drew me closer, hugged me tighter. His chest against mine as he lifted my legs and sat me on his lap.
"I love you," I heard him whisper.
"What?" I asked softly as I loosened my arms around his shoulder just a bit that I am able to look at him. "What did you say?"
He swallowed, "I do," he said instead, as if it's hard to say it. "Do you?"
My heart beated fast,"Say it first?" I said, before answering his question. "Please?"
"I-" he stuttered, swallowing. "I love you, Eleanor."
I took a deep breath, deeper than I had ever taken. I blinked repeatedly then kissed him on the cheek softly before awkwardly getting up. The last time I heard it was when I was seven, by my father. No one has ever said this to me since, what even is love? What does that mean? I know I told Zoey that I loved him and I thought I did but- when I heard him say it, it made it hard, it made everything complicated and I do not know why. Do I actually love him? Is 'Love' a word you use like any other? Simple and goes with everything? I love pancakes, I love music, I love drawing and I love sunsets? Is it that simple?
I did not realise that I was frozen in my place before he got a hold of my wrist and got up, trying to look me in the eyes, but I avoided it by looking at the ground. "Do you?" He asked, pleading."I- you could forget I even said that" I could see the hurt in his eyes that I glimpsed before he turned around. In that very second, that eye connection we had gave me an answer, but I couldn't quite catch it.
"Look at me," I said, so he did. I stared deep into his eyes, my eyebrows furrowed as it all clicked in. A simple look into his eyes made all the pieces come together. "I knew I loved you then, but I pushed it away. I did not hear that word a lot, nor had I used it often. The way you smiled at me with your mouth stuffed with pancakes, the way you looked at me before I left at the airport, the way your eyes talks, while you were silent. The thoughtful little things you did, like collecting the sketches I threw. The way my heart makes a flip, when I hear your voice. The way our hands fit together like it's meant to be" I intertwined our hands, and I started at them. "The way that I push every man away, no matter how hot they are. Because I know, I know there is only one guy for me." I lifted my head back up to meet his beautiful eyes once more, "It is not as hard as I made it be. Love is a word, that describes two people who touch each other's souls. Love is the connection of two hearts, yours and mine." I removed my hand from his slowly, and wrapped it around his neck, breaking the small space between us and burried my head in his neck, I could feel his heartbeats. "I love you," I whispered, and his heartbeats fastened if that was even possible.