Sunrise
"now it's your place, huh?"
"What do you mean?"
"You call it your place as if you own it"
"Well, I could if I want to"
"Right,"
We talked for hours at his place even after the sun has risen, it felt so good talking our feeling out to get up and leave. I didn't even feel a little bit sleepy.
"You know," I started as I gazed at the sky. "It isn't as bad as I pictured." He looked at me, waiting for an explanation. "When I got the letter, I was willing to get hit by my mother and woke harder than I already was for her rather than going through the engagement," I said."I heard the words of people: 'cruel prince who smiles at the sight of blood and lives to hear the screams of people' .... who I feared the most."
"And now?"
"I-" I looked at him, deep into his eyes. "I see... I see the green eyes of yours and I remember the green pastures where I would like to spend time there with you," I looked away, then I looked back at him. "I see a misunderstood prince who is talked badly about in the new. I-" I paused, "i see someone whom i-" I cleared my throat and got up quicker than I had planned which made me dizzy. "Can we go home?" I asked, he immediately got up and nodded. "I need some sleep.
We got inside the car and for the whole ride the conversation kept playing in my head, I do not know what I was thinking, I do not think I was even thinking. Words flew out of my mouth like I can't control them, straight out of a place I do not recognise- my heart? I do not know. I feel lost, but perhaps that is what it feels like to care? But again, it might be just because I am tired.
I shock the thought away and cleared my mind. As soon as we arrived to the castle, I went straight up to my room and threw myself on the bed ready to sleep through every thought that crossed my mind.
When I saw him after I woke up, i asked him about the trip. I believe it will be a good thing, not just it will be fun to be exploring wherever he will allow me to go, but also taking time apart will help us both think a bit.
"I haven't forgotten," he said. "I told you I will work on it."
"Alright," I said softly as I approached the front door. "I just wanted to remind you."
I called out for Willie and Destiny and asked them if they wanted to join me at the garden, they luckily said yes. I truly love their company.
"You know that what people say about Clyde is false right?" I asked, out of the blue.
"Yes," destiny answered. "I guess now you know too?" I nodded, "I have worked here for years, and it broke my heart back then when the incident happened, it still does."
"Why doesn't anyone say anything about the talks about him?" I questioned, "Why do we allow people to talk this way? Spread rumours?"
"Well," she started. "He does not care. Beside, it's better to have people fear you than petty you right? At least that's what he says."
"You know, you are probably the only one around here who sees him as a person and not a prince who you fear." I admitted,"they way the other workers sees him, it's like- they are trying their best not to be murdered, as if he is capable of doing so."
"no offence but-" Willie said, "you do not know what he is capable of."
"Do you believe he could do such a thing?"
He shrugged, "I don't know."
But I could tell, he fears him just as much as the others do. Which is pretty sad if I am being honest. Imagine being feared, imagine being respected just because people are afraid of you. Does he know that? That every friend he possibly have is there just because they fear him? I bet he does, and that breaks my heart. I do not know why though.