EPILOGUE

MAGGIE

“Chase, honey, can you watch your sister for me, please?” I call out from the kitchen as I prepare waffles for breakfast.

This is not a good time for the cook to be on leave, but her mother is sick, so there’s no other choice but to let her go, and we haven’t found a replacement yet.

“Mom! Chase took my mug. He’s packing it with his stuff!” Laken complains. She’s thirteen, but Logan pampered her so much that she sometimes forgets that she isn’t four.

“It was always mine, Lake. Dad gave it to me. You just took it and assumed it was yours,” Chase says. When he says “Dad,” I know he means Carter.

Carter has been a constant in Chase’s life. Neither Logan nor I thought it would benefit anyone to keep him away from Chase. That would have just been cruel.

Soon after Laken’s birth, Carter started dating another attorney from his firm, and they got married in six months.

Chase has another half-sister, who is ten. She sometimes stays over for a week during her vacations, and the best part is that the kids get along with her.

“Chase is right, Laken. You have like four dozen other mugs.”

Laken likes collecting unique mugs, so she keeps adding them to her collection. Logan’s probably brought her one from every one of his business trips.

She pouts. She hates it when I take Chase’s side. Everyone says Laken looks just like me when I was her age.

I feel a tug against my apron. When I look down, I find Kai, my seven-year-old son, looking up at me with tears in his familiar blue eyes. “Mommy, is Chase really leaving us?”

It really amazes me how much Kai resembles Logan. John always teases us and says that Logan and I are creating clones of ourselves, and looking at Laken and Kai, he might not be wrong.

Kai is a miniature version of Logan, from his dark hair and his azure eyes down to the shape of his fingernails.

“Baby, he’ll visit us at holidays. He’s not going too far. It’s just an hour’s drive from here.”

It’s like I’m trying to comfort myself with the knowledge that it isn’t a big deal, that my oldest baby is still going to be around.

Little Lucy, who’s two, tosses a spoonful of cereal onto the floor, and then pushes the bowl, which goes crashing down, shattering to pieces.

When she realizes what she’s done, her lower lip trembles, and she starts wailing. It’s loud enough to make someone deaf.

A maid scrambles to help me. “I’ll clean this up, ma’am.”

“Thanks.” I start flipping the pancakes onto the plates, but they are stuck to the pan. This was a bad idea. I should have just cooked eggs or something.

Kai takes one look at it and says, “I’d much rather daddy made that.”

Chase laughs behind me as he takes the spatula from my hand. “I’ll do it, Mom. You’re really terrible.”

“Oh god, Chase, is that how you treat your mother?” I tease him.

Chase is more like my best friend than my son, and that’s what everyone says. He’d always been mischievous as a child, but as he grew older, he started to get a sense of responsibility as an older brother.

He plucks Lucy from her booster chair and starts cleaning her face. I’m really proud of him.

Logan’s been a really good influence on him, and if my son’s turning out to become a gentleman, I have my husband to thank for it.

“You want to hear a compliment?” he teases me, and those dimples kick in, and I already know my son’s going to be a breaker of a million hearts.

God help those girls in his school. “I think you should just stick to making omelets, which is the only thing you’re good at.”

“How mean!” I stomp my feet dramatically.

He smiles. “Okay, to tell you the truth, I think I’m going to miss you the most.”

“Hmm, really?”

“Yeah. My bestie will not be around anymore. It’s going to suck, right?”

My eyes feel heavy with tears, but I have to suck them up and woman up. If I started crying, the kids would naturally follow.

“Why does the kitchen look like it’s just survived a natural disaster?” Logan walks into the kitchen area looking as gorgeous as ever in a T-shirt that hugs his biceps and jeans so snug, I’m salivating at the sight of him.

At almost fifty-five, he’s still devilishly handsome, and his smile makes my insides turn to mush. He continues to kill ladies with his good looks every time he passes them on the street.

“Hey baby.” He kisses on my cheek. “Looks like you need some help here.”

I sigh. “My hero always saves the day.” I pass him the contents of the skillet.

“You know you can count on me anytime, baby.” He winks.

Chase makes a face. “Ugh. Get a room.” Then he looks at Lucy in the booster chair with all the mess and Kai drawing patterns on the floor with the spilled contents.

“On second thought, don’t. Your babysitter is leaving for college.” He grins at his sister. “Laken, do you want the job?”

“Hell, no!”

***

Everyone’s going to Chase’s dorm to help him move his stuff. John prefers to stay at home, and in case you’re wondering, yes, he’s alive and kicking and continues to annoy Logan every single day.

When we pass the dorms, the girls’ side is in the opposite direction, so when we help him with the boxes, a few of the girls take notice of him and glance back for a second take.

I poke him with my elbow. “Looks like someone’s going to be popular around here.”

Chase shrugs. “Nah. I’m mostly going to concentrate on studying.”

I ruffle his hair. “Of course, baby, but don’t forget to have a little fun. Just not too much fun, okay?”

He rolls his eyes.

“Your mother’s right,” Logan says. “She’s the one person you should be taking advice from.”

Chase laughs at Logan’s sarcasm. Of course, they are laughing at me, because it’s ironic that I’m giving him motherly advice about unprotected sex when that’s exactly how I ended up pregnant with him.

“Don’t worry, Mom, you’re my idol. I’ll follow your rule book.”

“Just don’t.”

We help him arrange his furniture. Chase’s roommate isn’t here yet. The person at the desk told us that the boy wasn’t going to move in next month, so until then, Chase has the entire room for himself.

Kai gives Chase a picture he drew before getting here. “This is for you.”

It’s a picture of our family together. There’s a stick figure that looks like me, and I know it’s me because I’m wearing an apron in the picture.

Chase takes the paper from his hand. “Thanks, bud. I’ll put it on my wall.”

I think Chase is getting emotional, but he’s not going to show it.

“We’ll just get some food, since we’re already here.” Logan steers me away from there with Lucy still in my arms.

I watch Chase pull Kai in for a hug when Laken joins them, too, and then Kai starts crying.

“Let’s leave the kids together for a while.”

Lucy is in the booster seat and other than baby chatter, there’s silence in the car.

Logan covers his hand with mine. “I know you’re sad, baby, but this is life. Kids grow older and we can’t do much other than support them through their journey.”

“I just remember he used to be so tiny.” I nod, blowing my nose into the tissue. “I hope he doesn’t make me a grandmother, at least not until I’m forty-five.”

Logan barks out a laugh. “He’s a good kid, Maggie. Unlike someone I know who used to be far worse at the same age.”

I glare at him. “Are you talking about me?”

“You were trouble, Maggie. Admit it.”

I fold my arms across my chest. “And yet you married me.”

He picks up my hand and kisses it. “Best decision of my life.”

***

There’s a suffocating silence when we get home, and suddenly, I feel like the house is empty even though there are a dozen maids and three of my demons…I mean, kids still in the house.

They are not happy about their big brother being away. He used to spoil them so much, and the house used to be so much livelier with him around.

After the long, exhausting day, I’m tired as I put the kids to bed. Lucy sleeps as soon as she hits the crib, but Kai needs a lot of coaxing, which kind of reminds me of Chase when he was the same age.

When I go back to our bedroom, I find Logan on the bed, reading a book.

“Hey…,” I say, slumping onto the bed.

“Looks like your battery needs charging.”

“Yes, sir. I would love that. Plug it in.”

Logan chuckles. “You’re good at making dirty jokes now.”

“Am I?” I twirl my curls just to tease him.

He continues to stare at me. Those blue eyes always do something to me. I’m never going to get tired of this burning intensity.

“Something on my face?” I straddle him.

He runs his hand through my hair. “Just looking at how beautiful you are.”

His fingers trace the scar on my stomach, the one I got from the C-section when I gave birth to Kai. He leans down and kisses it, placing soft kisses on my stomach and between my breasts.

“Logan…,” I say.

“Yeah?”

“This is really stupid, but…do you think I did enough for Chase?” I’m staring at his chest. “Have I been a good mother to him?”

He smiles. “Is that what you’re worried about?”

“It’s been on my mind. I mean, I felt like maybe sometimes he thought he didn’t belong here because…you know…you’re not his biological father.

“It weighed on my mind that he was growing older faster. Maybe I was so caught up in taking care of our other children that I didn’t give him enough attention.”

“Maggie…Maggie…Shhh…” He hugs me to his chest.

“I’m scared.”

“Baby…,” he says, “there’s something for you.”

“What is it?”

He puts me back on the side of the bed. “It’s in Chase’s bedroom. On his desk.”

I look at him with surprise. “For me?”

“Yup.”

I drag myself to my feet. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

I pull on my robe and walk out of our bedroom. I try not to make much sound because I don’t want the other demons to wake up.

As I enter Chase’s room, I realize it’s been left just the way he had it. There’s nothing out of place, like he’s in the bathroom having a shower.

All the trophies he won at school and the picture frames with his friends and our family are all on the table. But one photo frame is missing.

It’s the family photo that we took last year during our trip to Disneyland. He must have taken it to his dorm.

I touch a few things on his table, but don’t make any attempt at moving them around. I don’t want him yelling at me when he comes back during his holidays.

Just as Logan mentioned, there’s a sealed envelope wedged between pages of a book.

It’s addressed to me in Chase’s handwriting: “Mom.”

With shaky hands, I tear the edges of the envelope and remove the letter. I sit down at the edge of the bed to read it.

Dear Mom,

This is probably the corniest thing I’ve ever done so far. You’re probably going to laugh, but for what it’s worth, I’m still going to write it.

You already know I’m not great with words, and I’ve never been vocal about anything, never told you I love you. But as I’m packing my bags right now, I’m regretting not telling you things that I’ve been wanting to.

Thank you for giving birth to me.

I never could have asked for a better mother, and I’m saying this because I mean it. I know the hardships you went through to raise me.

I know the sacrifices you made along the way, and I’ll always be grateful to you for that, so be proud of it!

Don’t you ever second-guess yourself. EVER. You’re doing a great job, and this is a secret, okay? But you’re my most favorite person.

I love you.

Your most favorite son,

Chase.

~The End~