I spent the rest of the holidays lazing around at home, not having the energy or the desire to do anything else.
My mind kept on drifting back to the night of the gala, back to those whispered words which seemed like a dream now. You looked good tonight.
It wasn't supposed to be a big deal. It was a simple compliment, I kept telling myself. Nothing to fuss over. Anyone could have said that, there were no...romantic implications whatsoever.
But Archer? His case was different. He wasn't just anyone. At one point, I'd even thought he was the one for me.
Oh, how wrong I'd been.
°
I was sitting in the common room, reading a book. For the first time in a long time, I was relatively relaxed, since there was no homework due and I had ample time to start a novel I'd been dying to read.
Just as I was opening the book I'd borrowed from the library, Archer came storming into the room. Everyone present looked up, since the way he'd walked in here clearly spelled trouble.
I frowned. "Hey. Is something up?"
Archer gave me a stony look. "Can we talk in private? I need to ask you something."
My frown deepened. "Um, sure."
We walked outside to one of the empty classrooms. He shut the door behind him and turned on me.
I asked, "Is something wrong?"
Archer laughed wrily. I'd never heard or seen him look so bitter before. I was honestly getting more and more scared by the second.
He took a step forward. "You tell me, Vivian. I think you'll know better."
What the hell? Why was he calling me Vivian all of a sudden? He always called me either Vi, or Nena. Never by my full name. And what did he mean?
"What are you saying? I don't get it."
He took out something from his blazer pocket. It was a picture. I couldn't quite make out what was shown in it, since he had it in his hands in a vice-like grip. His knuckles were white.
I asked slowly, "What's that?"
His eyes flashed, an unknown look in them. "Wanna see? Here, let me show it to you. It's a really lovely picture."
He shoved the picture into my hands. I looked at it and my heart almost stopped.
It was a picture of me walking in Hyde Park. Wearing a jumper with a trench coat.
Kissing a boy who wasn't Archer.
My eyes bulged out of their sockets.
"What the bloody hell is this?! Where did you get this? This isn't real!" I almost yelled.
He scoffed. "Isn't real? You expect me to believe the shite coming out of your mouth right now?"
I knew this looked like the worst thing in the world, but I swear it wasn't true, the picture wasn't real. I would never in a million years cheat on Archer, or anyone for that matter. And I didn't even know this boy who I was 'kissing'! This was absolute bollocks!
"Archer," I pleaded, "Please just hear me out for a minute. I swear I have no idea what this is because I don't even know this boy! I never kissed him or anyone else!"
"Then how the hell do you explain this photograph?"
"I don't know, okay! It must be photoshopped because it simply can't be true! I don't even know who this is!"
Archer turned away from me. I heard his voice in a whisper. "I never thought you'd cheat, and then proceed to lie to me about it."
"What the hell, Arch! Listen to me, please! You have to believe me! I'm not lying when I say this isn't true! And who even gave you this picture? Where did you get it?"
"Doesn't matter where I got it. Someone was kind enough to make me open my eyes to the truth, and I must thank her 'cause otherwise I wouldn't have known you were going behind my back and breaking my heart at the same time."
"Archer! Don't do this, please. You have to trust me. Please just listen to me once. Why can't you trust me over some girl who you don't even know half as much as you know me?!"
"Oh, I thought I knew you."
With that, he tried to shove past me and leave, but I caught his hand. I was crying by now.
"Please, Arch, please just hear me out. Please believe me, I'd never hurt you like that, never. Can't you give me a chance to prove that this girl is lying to you, that she probably doctored the whole thing? Do you really have that little faith in me?"
Archer stilled his back. He turned to look at me, and I could see the unshed tears in his eyes. We were both such a mess. And I couldn't believe this was happening right now, and that he wasn't even willing to trust me one bit.
He stared at me with a blank look. "How the hell do you expect me to trust you after you cheat on me?"
I let go of his hand. Now it was my turn to glare through the haze of tears. "The fact that you can't even trust me after all that we've been through together, says a lot about you, Archer."
He scoffed. "And what have we exactly 'been through'?" He made air quotes with his hands. "Forget it, Vivian, we haven't gone through anything. All this was a lie."
I couldn't take the pain and anger anymore. I shoved him. "You arsehole! How can you say that?!"
He stumbled back and glared at me. "I can jolly well say that, because it seems our entire relationship meant nothing to you!"
We were both screaming at each other at this point. If any teacher had passed by, they would've definitely heard us, but thankfully at that time they were all in the staff room.
I glared at Archer, hurt coursing through my veins. "How dare you say that. I cared about you so much, Archer and I still do! You're my best friend, and now you're the one saying this? Aren't best friends supposed to trust each other? Aren't couples supposed to trust each other?! That picture is photoshopped because I never kissed anyone in Hyde Park or anywhere else! I was meeting up with my cousin Sophie there, I clearly remember. And when she came, I kissed her on the cheek. Whoever did this must've taken a picture of that particular moment and then photoshopped it to make it look like I was kissing a boy I don't even know!"
He closed his eyes and exhaled for a second. I almost thought he was going to believe me, or at least give me a chance to prove myself.
But then he opened his eyes and gave me the look of a stranger.
"I don't believe you, not for a second."
My heart shattered into a million tiny little pieces at those few words. They were the acid salt on my bloody wound, the final blow to whatever little hope I had left, that the boy I loved (yes, loved, I just hadn't confessed that to him yet) would actually have some faith in me.
My breathing was strangely still, and I felt numb. Numb, empty, disillusioned and utterly, utterly broken.
I looked him in the eye. My tears had dried. I didn't have any more to shed, at least not now.
"Then how do I stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't even trust me?"
His look was stricken, heavy and so, so faraway. "I guess this is it, then. I can't stay here anymore."
With that, he turned and left the room. Left my heart, and left me a broken, inconsolable mess.
°
My mind often wandered back to that day, that terrible day, when everything as we knew it had come to a painful end.
I sometimes asked myself, how would things be if we'd still been dating now? How would we work as Head Boy and Girl? What would our dynamic be?
I always shook my head and told myself not to dwell on such thoughts, but it's very hard to listen to your own advice when your ex-boyfriend whispers in your ear that you look good. The same ex you once loved, and thought you'd grow old with.
The same ex whose guts you hate. Or you're supposed to hate.
I wasn't so sure I knew the difference anymore.
a/n: hey there everyone! now we finally get an insight into the time when things went horribly wrong. what do you think of this huge misunderstanding? lemme know in the comments! xx