Tempted by her Daddies: Chapter 59

“Stop itching,” Roman urged. “You’re going to scar.”

So?

Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

Suddenly, Alexei was behind her. Reaching around her, he grabbed her hands and yanked them up.

He didn’t hurt her. His touch wasn’t harsh. But it did make her skin wake up. Electrical shocks of surprise and . . . and pleasure ran through her.

Really? She felt pleasure?

When she had been trying so hard to feel nothing for the last few days.

Keeping herself numb around these guys was far harder than she’d thought possible.

“Do not scratch,” Alexei told her, placing her hands gently on the table.

“Tamsyn.”

Salem again. Right. She was meant to be looking at him. But she felt overwhelmed, confused.

Alexei stepped away, taking even that small bit of comfort with him.

If there was ever a time for her to cry, now would have been it. But she was empty.

Be numb.

You can’t cry. If you start, you don’t know when you will stop.

“You. Will. Eat.” Each word that Salem spoke was infused with command. A pure order that couldn’t be ignored.

Yet, she found herself shaking her head.

“Yes.”

“I can’t,” she said hoarsely.

“Why the fuck not?” Alexei exploded. He was across the table from her once more, leaning his hands on the back of a chair.

Probably to stop himself from coming around her to wring her lying, deceitful neck.

“Because it all looks so beautiful.”

Salem stared at her for a long moment. “You can’t eat the food because it looks too beautiful? I can mess it up a bit if you like.”

“It would still be too beautiful for me,” she told him quietly. “Because anything would be too good for me after what I did.”

There was silence.

Finally, they understood.

Although she didn’t know why they hadn’t understood that before.

“Are you saying you won’t eat this food because it’s too good for you?” Salem asked quietly.

“Far more than I deserve. I don’t deserve any of it.”

“That’s why you haven’t been eating?” Roman asked.

She glanced up at him. Why did he look like he was in pain? Was he remembering all of the stuff she’d done wrong?

Was it giving him a stomachache? She had a stomachache too.

She nodded.

“That’s utter bullshit,” Alexei spat out. “Is this . . . are you punishing yourself by not eating?”

Tamsyn frowned. “I didn’t think of it like that. No. No, I’m not because when I’m punished everything is forgiven afterward. And everything can’t be forgiven. Because what I did was too terrible to be forgiven. I don’t understand why I’m here and why you’re so concerned about me eating. Shouldn’t you want me to starve? Shouldn’t you kick me out? Yell at me? Why am I here?”

Roman glanced over at Salem. “Fix. This. Now.”

Salem stood and she couldn’t help but flinch back. It wasn’t like she really thought he would hurt her. But she wouldn’t blame him if he did.

He stalked around to where she sat and moved her chair so she faced him.

To her shock, he reached down and lifted her onto her feet, walking her backward until she hit the wall. Then his hand came out to rest lightly on her throat.

Unlike the other times when he’d done this, there was no heat in his eyes, he didn’t hold her loosely.

This was firm.

It was dangerous.

A pure threat.

So he’d finally figured out what to do with her. They had come to the conclusion to take her out.

All she hoped was that they made it quick. She forced her body to relax, to not fight back. She hoped that instinct didn’t kick in, although it might.

Closing her eyes, she tried to slow her breathing, but it was so fast and loud.

“Open your eyes and look at me.”

No.

That wasn’t what she wanted to do. She didn’t want the last thing she saw on earth to be the hatred he had for her.

“Pet, we can wait all night for you to open your eyes.”

Pet?

That made her open her eyes more than anything else would. He tightened his hold on her. “Are you owned?”

What?

What was he talking about?

“Are you owned, Pet? Do I own you?”

She still didn’t understand. Why would he want to own her?

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Are you owned, controlled, protected? Are. You. Mine?”

There was a throat clearing behind him.

“Salem is using the wrong word,” Roman said. “He means are you ours?”

That . . . that had come from Roman? She had been expecting him to protest that they couldn’t own her.

“I don’t understand. How can you want that now? After everything?”

“You are only to answer the one question, Pet. Are you owned by us?”

She didn’t know what it was for a start, thought her eyesight was going weird. It became all blurry, hard to see. Then the tears drifted down her cheeks. One after another.

“She’s crying, Salem,” Alexei said.

“I see it.”

“She never cries,” Roman added, sounding panicked. “Maybe you should let her go.”

Salem kept his gaze on her.

Steady. No hesitation.

“No. I’m not going to let her go. Letting her go is actually the last thing I want to do. Is it, Pet? Because that’s not what you want or need. What you need is for me to hold on tight. Because you’re scared and you’re uncertain and you’re deep in the self-blame game. So what you need to do is give it all to me.”

She shook her head.

“Yes. I can stand here all night until you admit the truth. That you are owned. And until you give all that self-loathing and self-pity and anger to me.”

A sudden fury took her by surprise, washing through her and making her hot. She grasped hold of his wrist with both hands, tugging at him.

She could take things further. Force him to let go.

Well, try, anyway.

However, there was no way she ever wanted to harm him.

“Let me go.”

“Give it to me,” he demanded.

A strangled noise of rage left her lips. “Why? Why would you want it?” she cried.

He lowered his face toward hers until his lips were mere millimetres away.

“You aren’t paying attention. Because you’re mine.”

“You don’t want me anymore!” She stomped her foot, the tears coming hard and fast as Salem drew his face back.

Was this them messing with her? Were they going to pretend that they wanted her, then laugh in her face as punishment?

It seemed cruel.

But also fitting.

“Would you be here if we didn’t want you anymore? Don’t you think we would have walked away?”

“You should have,” she yelled.

“Stop, just stop,” Alexei said, moving up beside Salem, his face a mask of fury. “You don’t get to tell us what to think, how to act, or what to feel. If we want you, then that’s our business.”

“And I don’t get a say?”

“Now you’re catching on,” Salem said, pulling back.

“I’m your prisoner.” Nausea bubbled. She’d felt like a prisoner before and she hadn’t liked it.

Not one bit.

And she didn’t think she could do captivity. Not for them.

“That’s not what Salem and Alexei are saying,” Roman said in a low voice.

Really?

Because it seemed like it was exactly what they were saying. Both of them were staring at her intently.

“Tamsyn, you are ours. And you are loved.”

Salem did not just say that.

She stared up at him in shock. It wasn’t possible.

Because there was no way that anyone could love her.

“I’m unlovable.”

“I’m going to kill that motherfucking bastard. I’m going to tear him to pieces and then set each piece on fire!” Alexei stated.

She met his gaze, confused. “You already killed him.”

“Well, I’m going to resurrect him so I can kill him all over again,” Alexei promised. “For the fucked-up way he treated you, I’ll do that. I’ll teach him that no one fucks with my girl.”

“I . . . I . . .” That was so crazy and impossible that she didn’t know what to say.

It was also one of the sweetest things that he’d ever said to her.

“You are not unlovable,” Roman told her. “That hurts me to hear you say that.”

“You guys can’t still want me after everything I did to you.”

To her surprise, Salem let go of her neck.

Okay, so he got it. He understood.

But instead of walking away he lifted her up into his arms, holding her against his chest as he strode back to the dining table.

“Roman, can you reheat her dinner,” Salem ordered. “Alexei, she’ll sit on your lap.”

“I don’t understand this.”

“You don’t have to understand it yet,” Salem told her as he lowered her onto Alexei’s lap.

Immediately, strong arms circled her waist and she knew that she wasn’t going anywhere.

Salem crouched in front of her, holding her chin firmly. “All you have to know is that we love you. We want you. And we aren’t going to allow you to go anywhere.”

“You’re staying right here until you acknowledge who you belong to,” Alexei said.

“And until that time comes. Until you accept that we love and want you, we’ll be in charge. We will do the thinking,” Salem told her.

“Yeah, because when you’re allowed to think you get yourself into a whole lot of trouble,” Alexei told her. “Like getting kidnapped by one of the most wanted criminals in the world.”

“He was my father.”

“So?” Salem said. “And for the record, just because someone shares your blood doesn’t make them family.”

He could say that again.

She’d sometimes wondered if she was evil because she’d come from evil. In fact, for a long time she’d thought that. Some of the things she’d done . . . they would haunt her forever.

“But I’m like him. I’m not a good person.”

“Who said that?” Salem asked.

“Uh, well, I did.”

“You can’t have since you’re not allowed to do any thinking,” Salem told her.

She might have expected that sort of statement from Alexei, but it seemed that Salem was channeling him tonight.

“But, also, you are not a bad person,” Alexei told her. “You are not him. He was a monster.”

“And so am I.” Was that it? Did they not realize she was a terrible person? She’d have thought it was obvious when they learned of her betrayal. “I have done terrible things. I tried to do my best to keep everyone safe. Where I could, I never harmed innocents. But who knows what destruction I left in my wake.”

“Did you want to do any of that stuff?” Roman asked.

She startled. She hadn’t even noticed him coming back into the room. He held a tray with her plate of food on it. He set it down and then stared at her earnestly.

“Well?” he demanded.

“No! Of course not.” She shook her head. “I was trying to keep the village safe. But was that the right thing to do? Did I sacrifice other people to save the ones who had looked after me? I don’t . . . I don’t know. I never knew what to do.”

“You did your best to mitigate the risk to any innocents while keeping your friends safe,” Salem told her. “What else could you have done?”

“I could have killed him. I tried once and he had one of his men hold me while another one beat me. I couldn’t move for days. He locked me in this small dark room that he had in his house. There was a trap door under a rug. It was so tiny down there. Dark and hot. And worst of all, I could hear him upstairs, moving around. I knew I had to stay quiet, though, or he’d keep me in there longer.”

“That’s it!” Alexei yelled. “I am going to resurrect that bastard and then burn him all the way to fucking hell.”