âKir. Do you know what your fault is? I told you not to act rashly, but that child got hurt because of your mistake.â
There was no excuse I could make for Fatherâs scolding. It was absolutely my fault.
âForgive me.â
It was an apology to Captain Hertmann and the little child, not to Father. Iâm not used to apologies. At the time while Grandpa was still here, he repeatedly warned me that bending over to others was an act of losing dignity. So I hardly ever apologized. As the grand dukeâs son, I thought I shouldnât apologize. As a result, there were times when I knew I was wrong, but I wouldnât apologize.
But not as much as this time. Words of apology came out spontaneously. In my heart, I wanted to beg, but I couldnât because I was afraid that such an action would feel rather light.
âGo to your room right now and reflect. When that child wakes up, I will punish you properly then.â
Hearing Fatherâs heavy voice, I quickly raised my head.
âI will wait until she wakes up. Please allow me to see when she wakes up.â
âYou still havenât repented of your mistakes.â
I was filled with sadness at Fatherâs bitter words. I was worried. I think I can be relieved to see the little child open her eyes properly. But Father said that I would never have the chance to see the little child wake up. I couldnât even complain because of the fault I had committed.
âIt is not the Grand Princeâs fault. My daughter will get better with rest. Donât worry.â
Even Captain Hertmannâs favoring words made me feel more guilty. I didnât know if Fatherâs expression would be relieved, and I didnât bother any more because I knew my mistake.
âIt is true that I was wrong. Forgive me.â
The moment I checked the little child one last time before apologizing and leaving, I couldnât even let out a sound. The little child was floundering. At first, I thought she was just waking up, so I tried to let her know. But it was strange. The clear eyes of the little child were now blurry. She didnât seem to have fully come to her senses yet.
Then the little child started scratching her arm. The merciless touch left her skin red and scarred. The little child desperately hurt herself. I had to stop her, but I was so greatly surprised that my voice didnât even come out. Captain Hertmann followed my gaze and saw the little child belatedly.
âAren!â
Commander Hertmann hurried over and wrapped his arms around the little childâs back to keep her from hurting herself further.
The little child terrifyingly scratched her skin even though her father was holding her. It was hard to scratch her arms, so she scratched the thighs over her clothes. Like a person who has to scratch, the little child desperately tried to injure herself. I was afraid of the little child who moved unconsciously with half-open eyes staring into space.
It was the first time I had ever seen someone hurt themselves. In addition, the little child who injured herself became increasingly desperate. Like someone who has to do the act, the little child desperately tried to scratch herself. The persistent action even created fear even at people watching.
It seemed that the little child was not the little child I knew. She had a grotesque appearance, as if the soul had been stolen and commanded by the devil. The little child doesnât make a strange sound, but it sounds like sheâs screaming terribly.
I was out of breath. I wanted to run away out of vague fear. As I reflexively took a step back, Fatherâs hand touched my chin and shoulder. I was startled to feel the fear.
There was no rebuke in Fatherâs eyes as he looked at me. He just stared at me calmly. However, shame crept in at those gazes without a word.
Neither Father nor Captain Hertman would blame me. Both of them had the attitude that it was something natural to be afraid since I was young.
However, from such an appearance, a greater sense of shame came to me, I could not express it in terms of shame.
While receiving help from the little child, always being saved by the little childâs words. But now I want to run away in fear because I saw the little childâs weak side.