chapter 22

Chapter 22Reality hitsThey walked back hand in hand, in near silence. Her mind was empty of thoughts, only aware of their linked hands, the smile that played on her lips and the contentment of being with Chintan.As they reached the house, the caretaker came running to him and told him of some work he had to attend to immediately after breakfast. Chintan nodded and, entering the house, dismissed the man. In the brief second they had before someone disturbed them, his hand went to her cheek and he whispered, “Oh my Anushka…”She laughed in pleasure, moving closer to him, fitting her body into his as his arms went around her. He looked down at her with a happy smile and said softly, “You must be tired. Freshen up, have breakfast, then we can walk through the fields. There is so much I want to show you, and so little time.”She nodded and willingly lifted her face to his to kiss.Hearing sounds in the kitchen, they moved apart and with a gentle caress, he walked into his room.Anu closed the door to her room and leaned against it, suddenly overwhelmed. It all seemed so novel, so unexpected and yet so inevitable! She wrapped her hands around herself as if to keep the joy from scattering.She walked leisurely to her bed and absent-mindedly checked her mobile that she had left near the table. Her mother had called her five times!She wanted to delay calling back, but duty beckoned. She called her mother, hoping everything was fine at home.“Anu? Where were you? Why didn’t you take my call? My palpitation is back with worrying about you,” her mother complained. “I am fine, ma… I had gone for an early morning walk,” she said excitedly.“You should have taken the phone, na? What if something had happened to me and kaki had to reach you?”“Oh ma!” she said, trying not to sound irritated. “No signal on the hills. No use taking it. Tell me, why did you call?” she asked abruptly and instantly knew she had said the wrong thing.“Yes, of course,” her mother said, quite predictably. “Now that you are enjoying yourself, what is a sick mother to you?”“Ma…” she said softly, “you know that’s not true. Just that a three-hour trek has left me feeling tired.”“Beta, I am also very tired. Couldn’t sleep a wink last night. Had chest pain. Do you think I should go to the doctor? It could be heart-attack.”Anu felt her heart sinking. “No, ma,” she tried to sound cheerful. “You know you get this gastric pain. Have some Gelusil.”“No, I think it is my heart. Anxiety is making me weak. You know I have never been without you since Baba died. Oh Anu, do you think I will die?”“Ma! Where is kaki?”“Kaki is in the kitchen. What can that poor woman do? She can’t take me to the hospital in case of emergency. Beta, do you think you can come back today?” Anu felt like sobbing. “Ma, I don’t think so. I have come with friends…how can I?” She felt guilt raising its head. She pleaded, “Ma, I am back tomorrow night. We just had a check up last week… Hold up. You’ll be fine.”Her mother sighed. “It is easy for you to say… It is I who suffer. Okay, enjoy yourself… Pray that you see me when you come back.”Anu threw the cell phone on the bed and covered her face, trying not to cry. This was all-familiar ground, though forgotten. The reason why she never stepped out of the house for long, except to go to work. She stood against the window, tears flowing freely now, as she thought of the turn her life had taken in the last 10 years. She tried not to feel self-pity. But it was a losing battle at times.She heard a knock and the door opened. Chintan looked fresh and ready for the next outing. She was still in her morning clothes, her face streaked with tears.“Anu!” Alarmed, he took her in his arms. “What happened?”She shook her head. “Sorry, let me freshen up.” She tried to move away.“Hey!” he said, pulling her back and turning her face to his.Unable to meet his eyes, she leaned against him and cried, telling him of the call. “I need to go home, Chintan. I am worried.”He sat her down. “Is it very bad? Can’t you wait for another day?”She shook her head and said, “I will take a bus back. Or get me a cab, if that is faster. Just put me in one.” She got up, picked up a change of clothes, bathed quickly and came out. He was still there. She felt self-conscious as she combed her hair.He seemed more worried about her state of mind. “Listen, Anu, you are going back tomorrow night anyway. Is this a real emergency?”“I don’t want to take a risk.” She looked at him in the mirror on the dressing table. “She does have some blockage in her heart, though last week the doctor said that her BP was fine. But she frets a lot.”He walked up to her and put his hands on her shoulders, massaging the base of her neck soothingly. “You said someone was with her. Can’t they have her checked up?”“That’s an old aunt from the village.”“You mentioned your mother was a hypochondriac. Do you think…she is…?”Anu lowered her head. She was sure that that was the case, overreaction. But could she, sitting so far away, take it for granted? What if something happened?Chintan crouched next to her. “Hey…don’t take it so hard. I will take you back. Come have breakfast now.”“No! I can’t make you drive all the way back today. I will take a bus. Please Chintan, don’t make me feel any worse than I am already feeling.”“Oh my Anushka! How can I let you go like this?” he said, putting his arms around her waist.She put her hands on his shoulder. “Please!”He hesitated, then seeing the plea in her eyes, nodded.  During breakfast, despite Supreet keeping up a steady jovial prattle, Anu felt no echoing cheer in her mind. She was aware that her mother was hyper unnecessarily. But would she ever forgive herself if something happened to her mother because she, Anu, could not give up her pleasure?As they finished, Chintan asked her, “Do you want to check with your aunt?”Anu looked at him doubtfully. She called up the aunt on the landline. “Everything is fine. Your mother is quite cheerful, don’t worry,” the lady assured her.But somehow, she didn’t feel assured. Anu looked at him uncertainly, and he said gently, “If you want to go, then that is what you should do. You will not be at peace here.”She took his hand gratefully and pressed it to her eyes, feeling love overwhelming her.“I will meet you when I come there. Will you be okay on the bus? I don’t feel it is safe to send you alone in a cab.”She nodded, packed and was off in an hour.When he hugged her, she wanted to stay back, forever. She moved away quickly, and thanking Supreet, and the caretaker and his wife, left with a heavy heart.