chapter 11

Chapeter 11Tightening the nooseShe opened the gate slowly, not wanting to go in just yet. From the corner of her eye, she could see the Beat driving off, taking Chintan farther away. If only there was something she could do to hold it back just a few moments more.She paused in the hallway, wanting companionship. She turned towards her mother’s room. It was dark. She felt the rising of panic. No, not today! She walked towards her mother’s room when she heard sounds from the kitchen. Surprised, she turned back and rushed to the kitchen.A faint sense of hope rose in her. Her mother was there, cooking. For a second, all worries dropped off her shoulders. She straightened, and exclaimed, her tone reflecting her disbelief, “Ma!”“Where were you? My heart was racing. I was hungry. I am heating some food for myself. Shouldn’t you call me? I have been worried. It doesn’t do my heart any good,” her mother stacked up her complaints and displeasure.Anu felt deflated. Despite herself, she stepped forward and touched her mother’s shoulder. Her mother paused and looked at her. Anu put her arms around her mother and whispered in a tear-laden voice, “I am sorry, ma.”Something in her daughter’s tone made her mother look at her closely. “What happened?” she asked softly.Anu swallowed and stepped back, shaking her head. She didn’t want her mother worried. Her mother touched her cheek. “What is it, beta?” she asked.Used to protecting her mother from troubles in the last few years, she smiled automatically and said, “Sorry ma, just got late at work. You rest. I will finish up.”Her mother, as if remembering she was a patient, nodded and said, “This tires me.”Anu freshened up and focused on getting dinner ready. But her heart was not in it. She was thinking of her father today, and try as much as she could, she was unable to get him out her mind. She cleared up and went to bed, but lay with her eyes open. Sleep eluded her. In all these years, feelings she had forgotten assailed her. She longed for one understanding look. She longed to rest her head on his shoulders, for him to take all her burdens away, stand behind her and prop her up. Tell her everything would be all right. Since her father passed away, no one had taken that place. She had no one who she could turn to. But today…It scared her, the way she felt - the way she trusted Chintan, despite having been let down once already. The way she realised that this wasn’t about her job at all, but something more… something beyond the matters of the mind and body… something to do with the heart, with her life. It made her feel vulnerable and insecure. She had to remember he was Mr. Arya’s son. And probably could play up his strengths and weaknesses as well as his father. She turned to her side and closed her eyes. But she didn’t sleep a wink, aware of every sound in the night, and the transition to dawn, as morning took over.Her tread was heavy as she reached office. There was a meeting first thing in the morning – an unexpected event since Mr. Arya had taken over. The editorial and the marketing teams were called. Mr. Arya took the floor and announced his plans for creating – he paused, trying to remember the word. “Microsites,” Chintan prompted.Mr. Arya nodded, then said, smiling at Anu, “The editorial will write the content.”Anu didn’t look up. She hadn’t since entering the room. She shied away from meeting Chintan’s gaze, afraid that all her defences would melt.“Anu,” Mr. Arya said, “you can tell them about our discussion last evening.” She was unprepared. What was there to say, in any case? She looked at her team. Bitterly, she said, “We will now write advertorials for the clients the marketing team signs up.”She saw one of her girls look at her in surprise. “But, we are already pressed for time.”“Doing what?” Anu asked, frustration and anger getting the better of her. “Who reads the stories we file? They don’t bring in the money, honey.”There was an uncomfortable laugh. She stretched her lips and a shadow of a smile passed her lips. “So…” she looked at the marketing guys, many of whom were new. “Do we send an editorial person with every marketing guy, or how does this work?” She sensed the painful silence in the room. She turned to Mr. Arya. She saw his face was red, his eyes fixed on her steadily. Her face coloured as her eyes locked with his. Breaking it quite rudely, Mr. Arya said, “Thank you for explaining so clearly. I am sure now there is no doubt left in anyone’s mind as to how things will work henceforth.”He dismissed the group. But as she was about to step out, she heard him calling her name loudly and clearly.She stopped, ready for the axe. She looked up defiantly, almost welcoming the end. But what came left her breathless. Sharp, stinging words, spoken with calm deliberation, more potent than if he had thrown them at her in anger. “I have tolerated you thus far despite your incompetence expecting you have the potential to improve and grow. I have thrown a lifeline to you. I expect you do justice to it and climb up. I will not tolerate any bumbling next time.”She stood facing him, not flinching, her face white and hot, her hands trembling and cold. He dismissed her with a wave of his hand. She resisted the urge to turn to Chintan, who stood stock still next to his father.She turned away indifferently and walked out of the room. But she didn’t return to her seat.Â