chapter 72

[ Aru's p.o.v ]    I ran up the stairs, opened the door and threw myself on the bed. What did I just do. Why? I don't know. I definitely wasn't expecting myself to actually do that. Why would I do it?     I was all over the bed wrapping myself up in the blanket hoping it'd hide me from the embarassment. I don't even know what she must be thinking right now. Did she consider me stupid? Is she smirking thinking she won? Or is she hurt, that I keep doing such things but won't actually accept her proposal?     The thought felt bitter. I was doing everything I shouldn't be. I dumped a confession , I ran away, when I ran into her I didn't want to be with her, then I just got jealous of her cousin and threw a tantrum and then when she comforted me I didn't even say I wanted to be with her or anything and now I kissed her-      Why? None of it makes sense to me. Why? Why am I doing this.    " Why are you denying yourself of your own desires?"  Her voice rung in my ear. Why was I? There was no reason to. She loved me. She had been very clear about her feelings since the start. She even confessed so. She keeps confessing. She ain't even trying to cover it up or keep acting like a crazy person like me. She likes me and she says it. She does everything anyone would to impress their crush and there's absolutely nothing wrong with her.     It's me ! I am the stupid one. I am the problem here. I ain't even being hers nor do I like seeing her with someone else. Should I just tell her ? Tell her I like her? What am I afraid of? Her rejecting? That's not even the question with the amount of flirting I keep on receiving from her. Her taunts? They are constant. Her teasing? It's inveitable irrespective of choice I make. There's actually really nothing to -     Wait- the hell? What am I thinking about? I was supposed to be making notes and studying. I seriously need something to occupy me before these thoughts drive me crazy. I had been talking to Niharika and she said she's taking some computer language classes which can be helpful in job later. I might join her as well. The fees seemed pretty decent. I have talked to Sneha about it and she said she'd join as well if I am going to. I checked the clock. It was around 2 PM . It must be lunchtime. I called Dad. " Hello sweetie."" What's with your mood?"" My mood?"" All happy and cheerful?"" Oh - Nothing much I just got a new project. You say. What you called for?"" That's nice. Actually there's a class I want to join."" What class?"" It's computer language class and -"" Is Mr.Mahajan's daughter attending with you?"" Why is that even your first question?" " Just making sure you have company."" I have friends besides her as well."" Never heard. "" Dad!"" Just kidding. You do have someone to go with you?"" Yes . My friend Sneha and Niharika."" Sneha from previous college?"" Yes. "" And Niharika?"" She's a new friend I made here. She's already a student there ."" Okay okay ."" So can I?"" Have you removed all the details?"" Yes. I will forward them to you."" And you didn't say is she?"" You care more about your boss's daughter than your own?"" Ofcourse not! I am just asking!"" No she won't . She's going to work at her father's company as an experience. "" That's good . You ain't thinking of joining her ?"" Like you'd allow."" I mean it's learning?"    I felt weird about it. Why did it feel like I am using her? " No. I will first complete studies."       If you ask me , I preferred part time job and this would have been great from experience point of view. But somehow I didn't want to. Not when she was there. Not when I know her dad would just allow me in without a second thought. I don't want to use connections to get anywhere . " That's a good choice. Then send me link. I will transfer the fees. Okay?"" Yeah."" I got to go now. Talk to you in evening. Bye. "" Byee."    That left me feeling even down than before. Have I been just using her ? Knowing very well she likes and she'd do things for me despite me being harsh to her or pushing her away. She'd always do that.What about me? I just keep demanding. If I am jealous I ignore her entire existence as if it were her fault for not knowing my feelings when I myself keep denying them. If she didn't come to college I used to get mad as if I wasn't the one who asked her to stay out of my life. What have I been actually doing? And despite all the tantrums I have thrown she still would take care of me.      What if one day she actually gives up? When she knows I am just making things difficult for both of us? When my own uncertainty makes her feel bad and unloved. What if she finds someone else who actually deserves her love? How would it feel to watch her shower them with love ? Do all those little things she did for me? Look at them with that gaze which flips entire stomach upside down? Have them stare at her as if she was their ? And I have to stand aside in guilt sneaking glances like I always did. Finding excuses, making up things to cross path. I can't . I don't want to.  I would hate myself more than I would blame her if it were anyone else but me.      But she said it would be no one but me . She said she'd always love me. She- but why? Why would you love someone who doesn't even acknowledge your efforts leave alone returning them? You won't. You'd eventually get tired. Someone else will replace them who'd -     What the hell is wrong with me? I stood up wiping off the tears that had been all over my cheeks. Why was I thinking all this and crying? Crying? Seriously? I better just go to sleep. I seriously can't tolerate my own thoughts anymore. I got up and changed into more comfortable clothes and put on earpods to cut off my thoughts and help me sleep.     Hope atleast there you won't invade my dreams.[ Vibha' s p.o.v ]         Dad had offered to accompany on my first day. But I refused. I believe I can do so on my own. Also I do know a few uncles and aunties there. The staff did welcome me heartily. I was shown around first and then to my work place. A senior who introduced herself as Avantika guided me through my tasks and taught me the basics that I would need to get through them.      It was my first day so I wasn't dumped with loads of work just small tasks to understand how things functioned. I was here to get experience anyways so I know how to do them. The staff was pretty friendly over all minus the few gossips I heard about myself. Well they exist everywhere so I ignored them. I am used to being talked about.       I lost the track of time considering how much I got carried away with it. " That's enough for today. Let's go home now. " , Avantika Didi tapped me and I nodded. " You did very well for your first day.", she praised, displaying her dimples. She was sweet. The kind you can ask for help without worrying about getting lectured for not knowing things. " Thank you. It was all thanks to your help anyways."" You are exaggerating."   She walked me down as everyone else left . We were just having a small chat about my university and what field I am pursuing , am I going to continue dad's company and stuff.  My phone dinged. I had almost forgotten I told this guy to meet up. " I have somewhere to go. Will see you tomorrow Didi. Bye." " Bye. Get home safe ."" You too."     I left quickly. He was already waiting when I arrived. There were hardly any emotions on his face besides a dark aura. This is going to ruin my mood for real. " You want anything to eat?" , I asked anyways. That's common courtesy. " No it's good. So let's get straight to the point."" Yes. To the point why would you send stalkers after me."   He bit inside of his cheek. He must have expected that but didn't want it to be the start . Well I need to get over with this as fast as I can. " Yes. Sorry about it. I meant no harm. I just wanted to see if you were doing good. "" You have my number. You have Prisha 's number. You could have called anyone of us. Or may be asked Kritika to call me or something? Why send stalker? That too so dumb."" He is dumb . I know. Well not like you'd pick up my call."" Why would you assume I won't ?"" You know I side Abhijeet?" " That's your choice. I don't blame you or anything for it. "        He looked down. " Well I still pick Abhijeet 's calls. He did call me for University suggestion and form filling. I went with him to get his documents as well."" So there's a chance you guys-"" No there's not. We are clear about it . I don't see him that way nor does he. He knows I love Arushi and he supports that. I know we kind of had a fight over that stupid idea of his getting me in trouble but he wants better for me so-"" You believe that? You fvcking believe he was trying to help you?"I didn't expect him to snap nor laugh at that. " Vibhavari, are you stupid? Blind? Or just too focused on your Arushi that you don't see others?"" What?"" He wasn't trying to help you get her. He was trying to get you. He still believes he has a chance and perhaps you'd see his efforts and come back to him."" That sounds more stupid. I mean no he -"" He said , yes he did. He was being stupid since start. He lied he liked that girl . Heck he didn't even know Arushi properly. We just randomly selected a silent but decent looking girl who won't be interested in him at all and won't be a problem to make you jealous."" Why make me jealous?" " So you'd perhaps love him? Realise what you lost?"    This is more crazy. What's even going on?     " Woah woah. So now , you are telling me he dumped me to make me jealous by flirting with other girl? I mean why? He was already with me then why would-"     " Because you never cared. You never acted like you were in relationship. You were always bossy and he looked as if just kept for slave work. He'd buy you things , do your assignments , run errands for you and do whatever you told and you ? You didn't even like if he held your hand. Yes I understand you didn't like physical contacts but he was your boyfriend! He atleast deserved to hold hands? Fine leave that. Too much for you. You could have talked to him? Nicely? Never , never have you told him you loved him, no good morning no good night. Nothing. Your texts were always bossy and dry. In person you didn't bother to talk much and if he did you'd shut him up. He respected your love for silence but why was he the only one compromising? Because he proposed you? Because he was the one who wanted that relationship? You never even liked him . You just casually said yes. As if it never meant anything to you. Did he ever mean anything to you?"     He was almost panting after venting out . His eyes had the layer of water which would stream down any moment but he masked it behind anger. That somehow made me feel bad about myself. I agree . I had no contribution to that relationship. It was working just because he was adjusting too much and doing every possible thing to keep it working. The only emotion I felt even when he dumped me was insult. I just wanted revenge because I thought he had no right to do so. He was way too lowly in my eyes to take that step. " I am sorry. If that's what you wanted to hear. " " You really don't love him?" I shook my head. " I still help him out but there are no feelings for him. Tell him to move on if he's still trying. Because I never saw him that way and perhaps never will. I found the one I do all things you said I never did . I do everything for her that are not so me ."" I know. I have seen you with her. First I thought you just did it to get back at him. Never thought you'd actually end up falling in love with her .", he laughed at that. What was funny? " I am . Madly in love with her . She's my only one. So please you guys need to stop."He nodded. " But Vibha, what about her?", his voice changed. It was suddenly low and creepy as if he wasn't the one yelling at me a few minutes ago. " What about her?"" Does she like you?"    Does she like me? She does. Ofcourse. Why?     " I have never seen her responding to your efforts. It feels same like your and Abhijeet 's relationship. Just roles reversed. You are the only one in love. Who makes efforts, who confesses, who wants all those typical romance moments, what about her? Does she even acknowledge it? Your love?" " What the hell are you -"    " I have observed her. She only wants you around to help her. Do her work, help her through, and be in spotlight with someone constantly showering her with attention. You are just a pet."" Sahil what are you even -"     " No no. Let me continue. She never accepted your feelings. If I haven't heard it wrong she even slapped you when you confessed and avoided you for a whole year. Even now she would have wanted nothing to do with you if it wasn't for her dad forcing her to share room with you. She's just making sure she has someone to order around . A complete love sick fool who won't see they are getting used. "     " Sahil shut up!" , I banged my fist on the table making heads turn our way. He bowed a little in appology to them . I felt my breath hype up as I bit down the urge to curse. The rage surged through my veins heating me up and making hands tremble. I had to restrain them in a fist. " Why truth hurts?"" It's not-"" Then what it is?"   I don't know. What it is? She loves me. I know she does. " Did she ever tell you she loves you?" " Did she ever say she wanted to be with you?"" Did she ever agree to being your girlfriend?"" Or is it just you who's being delusional in love? "_____________________________________So guys,Hope you all are enjoying reading it. I know I am not regular but I am trying to . Sorry for all of the delays. I would love to hear your opinions and experience till now. Also, the main question I wanted to ask , how do you want the story to proceed?1. Get them together in relationship after a bit drama and confession and sweet lovey dovey University romance.2. Make Vibha feel bad about it, create a barrier turn the feelings into anger and ugly emotions. Kind of making her a bully. So lemme know how do you want it to continue.