51

Wednesday.

Hours have turned into a couple of days, but Edward had never wandered out once, including out of his room.

He was adamant in lodging himself in the farthest corner, protected by numerous heaps of apparel. They seemed to have accumulated more even as he continued wearing the same tank top and shorts, which had caught up any silent tears he had shed. He maintained the same position, his knees shielded his bloodshot cheeks, though his bloated eye glittered fleetingly whenever it met with mine.

The only difference was that there were sophisticated bandages extensively enclosing Edward's knuckles. Apparently, his parents were quick to notice the hideous wounds he had sustained, forcing him to get them treated.

We did exchange a couple of words here and there, but right now, conversations were not so necessary. Relishing the company of each other—the fact someone was physically present if we just needed someone to reach out to—was all we sought for.

I decided to bunk school, something I should have done since Monday. It was not like I could focus on the lectures anyway, especially with all of that propagating stupid rumors of Lynn. Constant memories of her continued to haunt my mind, the only remains of her existence.

As I declared my truancy so blatantly, Mom and Dad, much to my shock, did not launch any forms of tirade. They were lenient... so unexpectedly lenient that I found myself questioning them if they were actually serious. Feels so weird, honestly, but not like I'm complaining. I got to rest and clear my mind in some way or another.

Right now, Edward, like usual, slumped himself against the wall, his ponderous breaths breaking up the tranquility. At some moments, he would shake his head furiously and slap his temples. Meanwhile, I cross-legged on his desk chair, gulping as I pressed my phone against my ear after reluctantly punching the button.

"Hello, Alyssa Farthings here! When you're hearing this, it means I am either busy or my phone's off! If you have something important to say, please leave a message after the beep!"

Coming from someone who would immediately pick up the call when the first ring barely ended, my heart immediately sank as I could only graze my lips. Why was I even optimistic she would answer by the third, the fourth ring, and so on? Of course she wouldn't just stand up and decide she was suddenly not mad at me anymore.

I sighed softly as soon after, the beep sounded. However, instead of cutting off the line, my nostrils sucked in all the air around me, whether or not it rejuvenated or suffocated my lungs did not matter to me.

"H-Hey Aly," I murmured. "It's me. I'm not sure if you're gonna listen to this message, but... I'm still leaving it here."

A brief pause.

"I know you're upset at me and that's justified. I surely deserved all of that, but Aly... if you thought I never cared about you... then you are dead wrong," I declared.

"I couldn't express how much I looked up to you; you had the level of confidence I would never have. You confronted all kinds of problems head-on and never backed down, and at the same time, you understood my stupid anxiety and never invalidated them."

"You've tremendously helped me come out of my shell, you're always ensuring I'm comfortable with every single thing before I try it. I couldn't be more grateful... especially when you fiercely defend me, when you keep a lookout for me, and help me with tons of shit I'm struggling with. I-If not for you, I won't be what I am today."

In the midst of the speech I found myself freely muttering despite several stumbles, I noticed Edward perking up, probably listening in, but not that this was something private.

He was already aware.

"Aly, I... felt so ashamed when I couldn't give you the comfort you needed that day. You're there when I need you, but when you need me, my dumb ass just... decided to run away. I regret not saying anything, I hate it when I freeze up and do nothing." My tone cracked but I went on. "But... you once told me baby birds d-don't just fly, they fall first."

"Wouldn't that mean everyone has the right to ask for another chance, if they failed? If that's the case... please give me another chance to understand you, to speak up for you, to support you as best as I could. Give me the chance to fly again," I said. "I'm sorry, Aly. I really am..."

My voice became one with silence as I clicked off the message. I instinctively touched my moistened cheeks, all muggy but its coldness stung against my skin. Without further questions, I rubbed the hell out of my eyes and wiped them off, especially when Edward had been the primary audience, his eye was affixed to me. Moreover, I felt as though my throat was loaded up with bile, swallowing my saliva barely removed it.

"You didn't run away," he professed, causing me to turn towards him. "You're braver than you think."

I blinked repeatedly and cocked my head, but before I could process enough information for a proper response, he carried on.

"You did something I've never done when I quarreled constantly with Lynn." Edward's throat bulged up and down. "We were always on each other's throats, arguing which one is which to no end. I remembered how much we snapped back, but she always got in touch with me first..."

I said nothing.

"I was the coward... the instigator for every single one of those fights. I'm an asshole who can't pull himself together and ends up running away all the time. So many chances I could have taken... and I decided to butcher every one of them..." His voice lacked volume and was on the verge of fragmenting apart; he was hardly hanging on. "And now, she's gone. Lynn's gone..."

He furiously clawed through his coils of hair. "Perhaps... that's why the team ganged up on me..." he whimpered. "Perhaps, Seb... he just realized that... Alfred's right all along. I'm sure they're all shitting on me now..."

Alfred.

The mention of his name instantly flickered a flame, like a match being struck against its wooden box. It was that douchebag mess of a guy who could only boss around like the entire world owed him a favor for his sole existence. He might be talented in basketball and all, but all he deserved was a shoe thrown at his smug face.

"No, he's not." I rejected, my hands squeezing tight on the chair. "Besides, Alfred could have politely taught you if he wants you to do better, but he chose to downplay the shit out of you. T-That's not what a good player does. You don't deserve to be called names; he really needs to shut his mouth."

However, Edward... he was barely listening to me, or acknowledging me for that matter. His gaze was anywhere but my direction while he continued rambling things that sank my knotting stomach, "I couldn't even stand myself either. I would have insulted him if I were someone else.I would have abandoned him. I would have... beaten the fuck out of him if I found out he was the culprit."

My heart was edging near my throat when he wrapped his arms around his twitching body. Promptly I was on both of my feet and my legs strode fast towards him. "Ed—"

"...Rena, I can't... I can't stop it... No matter how much you're telling me, I just... I..." His sentences jumbled together into racks of sobs, as he grabbed a handful of his golden strands and yanked them. "I saw her... I saw the state she was in that day... It keeps popping up in my head... It's like she wants me to know... I started this, all of this!"

"Ed no—"

He flopped onto the floor and further folded himself in some sort of a fetal posture. Immediately I hunkered down and held him, massaged him on his back, anything to alleviate a little of the unbearable pain crashing upon him. However, his deafening cries morphed into knives, brutally piercing through my eardrums, my head, my heart. And what further made my back crawl, his nails plowed down against his arms, scraping them.

This was nothing to what I had imagined; things were astronomically far from better.

Edward was falling apart by each second. His emotionless mask broke open to reveal a boy stuck in loops of crisis, all for me to witness in real time.

"Ed please...! Hurting yourself is not helping at all! If anything, it's not gonna appease Lynn in the slightest!" I begged as I was literally gripping on his arms for dear life. "The least we can do right now is to get through this together, okay? Let's t-take it easy—"

"I CAN'T!!!" He burst out between his wheezes. Not only tears drenched the entirety of his face, but also a mixture of saliva and snot slipping out of his nostrils. "I... can't... it's the only way I can get that fucking shit out!!"

He coughed and wheezed, but not even a second of gaining back his composure, the door blasted open, interrupting the feud. We simultaneously jumped out of reflex, but only I whipped my head towards the direction.

Mrs. Carvellia must have heard everything; perhaps she was already expecting it. She sprinted towards her son and forced out his arms without much struggle, causing me to let go of my own grip. Red rashes had manifested, with some parts of his skin peeling off and a few had tiny but noticeable trickles of blood seeping through.

Her narrowed eyes as she glared at him had me flinching, but Edward bore no response. He simply lowered his head, his head almost touching the floor, his muscles convulsing.

"I'm not letting this go by anymore. We'll be making appointments with your therapist and I'm not taking no as an answer. Let's go," Mrs. Carvellia sternly announced as she effortlessly hauled her son up without any resistance, and I followed suit. Edward's legs wobbled, but she quickly balanced him.

"Rena... thank you for coming and being there for him." She gave me a small but tensed smile. "Just so you know, I really appreciate everything."

"...no problem," I mumbled.

There was so much I could do. As much as I wanted to stay behind and accompany him, Edward gravely needed treatments beyond my capabilities. I hated to say this but... he was the epitome of instability, and no one else other than the professionals could stop him from his tendencies.

I hope with this... he will eventually stop hurting himself.

***

Arriving back home with a heavy, pounding heart, I abruptly pressed my brakes at the driveway when I noticed three people walking up to my porch. My first thought was that they were Jordan's friends coming by, but that was out of the radar when they were sporting my school's iconic and familiar navy blue uniform.

I parked my bicycle in the garage, before checking them out. As soon as they discovered my presence, they widened their concerned eyes, and I did as well. "...Oh g-guys...?" I gulped. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh my God, Rena!" exclaimed Naomi, her usual loud voice making me squirm. She didn't hesitate to bolt towards me and embrace me within her arms before I could suspect anything. With her chest pressed against mine, she was practically cutting off most of my breath. "Girl, are you okay now?! Gosh, we were so worried!!"

"You texted us you'll be absent for days, but you haven't responded since then..." Samantha's tone was washed with nothing but relief. "Thank God we didn't have much activity today so we can check on you."

I left no remarks, only forcing a smile and nodding with gratitude. Naomi eventually loosened her hug, allowing my lungs to retake all the oxygen back, but I let a huge exhale out of my mouth. Even if they were my friends, the intensity of their stares, albeit out of worry, had me instinctively bending my head, pressing my lips, and fidgeting.

"Rena, I heard. I... We're sorry about what happened," Mark broke the silence. "Adelynn... she's one of your childhood friends, right?"

I wasted no time answering that question. "Yes, was..."

Beneath her glasses, Sam's eyes softened. "I don't know much about her, but she was pretty popular. I've heard she's a very genuine person everyone wants to be with."

"Oh yes I could tell," Naomi chimed in. "I saw Lynn's team today, they were down in the slumps. Barely practiced for their tournament at all and huddled up in the bleachers."

"It just feels so surreal. She barely passed high school for God's sake! She still had a long life to pursue... but it was all taken away from her."

"She didn't deserve to go like that."

"Obviously. I couldn't imagine what her family's going through now."

"You and me, girl."

"I heard she has an older brother working abroad," Mark added.

"God, just picturing him right now breaks my heart."

Now they were equally as obsessed with talking about her. As much as I wanted to walk off and shut these conversations away, they were the opposite of those ignorant rumors.

"I feel the same way," I breathed, trying to contribute to their discussion. Sure they lacked substance, but that was my main objective. I just don't feel like conversing about anything related to her.

"Okay... let's focus on what we're gonna do next." It was as if Naomi interpreted my desires. "Now that we know about Rena, our next stop is Aly. She hasn't replied to our texts since Monday, and all my calls went straight to voicemail."

"Ah yes, me too! I left her a voice message this morning..."

I snapped up, my stomach plummeting at the revelation. And here I believed Aly would at least get in touch with one of the girls or Mark. I was even sure she would tell them of our conflict that might have driven a rift between us. I guess I'm not the only one whose calls she ignored...

"I'm worried sick about Aly. I know she needs time, but I can't just leave her be..." Mark mumbled, his brows furrowed and his usual smooth features hardened. That was completely expected; out of all the three, he must be the most agitated one.

"Have you checked on her, Rena? I feel like she should have answered you over us," Sam asked, as Mark quickly glinted over me.

I gulped, instinctively hiding my tingling hands behind my back. I found myself shying away from them as I disclosed truthfully, "We have a fight."

"Wait, what?!" Naomi and Samantha shouted in unison, for which I winced for the umpteenth time today—why bother counting it anyway. They gasped as their round eyes met each other, before they lurched forward.

"Why, why? What the heck happened?!"

"You both barely fight at all! Heck, I've never seen you argue with her!"

"Yeah! You should have told us!"

"We can help you two!"

The bombardment of so many comments from girls gyrated around my throbbing brain like a tornado; any slight movements worsened the aching. Constantly reminding myself that they were my friends and not those people who had cornered me, my chest expanded and shrank at every huge breath I took.

"Well, I wasn't able to give the comfort she needed," I murmured lamely, downcasting my gaze as I remembered everything, all Aly's sheer devastation infused in her screams. "And I-I was not in my right mind, so our emotions boiled over and then... yeah, we just... exploded. I really should have said something..."

A silent sigh slipped out of Sam, but she proceeded to caress my slumped shoulder. "It's okay, Rena, you did what you can do... At this point, no one's at fault, no one should be pointing fingers."

"Yeah, especially after you guys have gone through," Naomi said.

"We'll be going to Aly's house, so perhaps you should come with us and try talking to her? Or at least see how she's dealing with all of this," Mark pleaded as he neared me. "I'm sure she needs all of us, even you."

I would be lying if I said I wasn't hesitating heavily.

I was mere inches away from my room. I was so ready to bury myself underneath my warm blanket and melt into the mattress. It was the only place where I could fully rejuvenate my drained energy from all interactions, then contemplate my future plans on carrying forward. As much as temptations were eating away my flesh, I swallowed the lump building up inside and balled my hands, shoving all of those desires as hard as I could.

This was Aly.

The first person who had approached me when I could never, bestowed her hand when no one else did, and accepted me into her social circle within a heartbeat. The first person who was ready to throw fists at anyone who had mocked the shit out of me. The first person whom I could freely share all my emotions without being judged and the risk of them being spilled around.

She was my first best friend.

And the proper way to deal with our conflict was to directly face her.

Gone were the days where I wallowed in regret and did nothing.

"Let's go."