Chapter 30 - Spiraling

Minho didn't know why his thoughts kept drifting back to Hyunjin.

He didn't know why seeing him with Jisung made his stomach twist.

He didn't know why the idea of Hyunjin being comforted by someone else—held by someone else—made his entire body tense up with something dangerously close to rage.

But most of all, he didn't know why, after everything, he was still thinking about him at all.

--

The group had been planning a get-together for weeks, and tonight, it was finally happening.

Chan and Changbin's apartment was the usual hangout spot, and when Hyunjin arrived, he was immediately engulfed in a bone-crushing hug by Felix.

"You made it!" Felix chirped, rocking him side to side.

Hyunjin giggled, hugging back. "Of course I did."

Jisung ruffled his hair. "Our baby's all grown up."

Hyunjin pouted. "I'm literally just a year younger than you."

Changbin scoffed. "Yeah, yeah. Now come inside before you freeze to death, baby."

Hyunjin rolled his eyes but followed them inside, where warmth and the scent of food immediately wrapped around him.

Chan and Changbin had already set up the table with snacks, and a few bottles of alcohol sat in the center.

"You're drinking tonight, Hyunjinnie?" Chan teased, raising a brow.

Hyunjin hesitated. He had never really drunk before. His parents had always been strict about it, and he never saw the appeal.

But tonight, surrounded by his friends, with laughter filling the air—maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

"Just a little," Hyunjin said finally.

The room erupted into cheers.

--

Hyunjin quickly regretted his decision.

Not the drinking part.

But the being single part.

Chan and Changbin were curled up together on the couch, whispering things only they could hear. Felix and Jisung were in their own little bubble, giggling and stealing kisses like a couple straight out of a romance movie.

And then there was Hyunjin.

Sitting in the middle.

Alone.

Drunk.

And very aware of how single he was.

He groaned, flopping onto the floor.

"Felix, why do you get to have a boyfriend?" he whined dramatically.

Felix giggled, patting his head. "Because I'm adorable."

Hyunjin pouted. "I'm adorable too."

"You are," Jisung said, laughing. "But you're also drunk. Like, really drunk."

Hyunjin blinked up at him. "So?"

Jisung shook his head fondly. "So, maybe it's time to go home."

Hyunjin pouted even more. "I don't wanna go home."

Chan ruffled his hair. "Come on, baby. We'll take you."

Hyunjin groaned but let them help him up.

--

By the time they reached the house, Hyunjin was giggling at nothing, completely unaware of the disaster waiting for him inside.

He stumbled through the front door, barely kicking off his shoes before Minho's voice cut through the air.

"You're drunk?"

Hyunjin froze.

Minho stood in the hallway, arms crossed, expression unreadable.

Hyunjin squinted at him, trying to focus. "Minho-yah," he slurred. "You're so grumpy."

Minho sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Unbelievable."

Hyunjin wobbled on his feet, and before he could faceplant onto the floor, Minho caught him.

"God, you're helpless," Minho muttered.

Hyunjin giggled. "I'm not helpless. I'm a fairy."

Minho blinked. "You're a what?"

Hyunjin spread his arms. "A fairy. Look, I can fly—"

He immediately lost his balance, and Minho had to tighten his grip to keep him from falling.

"Okay, that's enough," Minho grumbled. "You're going to bed."

Hyunjin hummed, leaning into him. "You smell nice."

Minho stiffened.

"Shut up," he muttered, dragging Hyunjin toward his room.

--

Minho sighed as he finally got Hyunjin into bed.

The boy had already curled up under the blankets, eyes drooping.

"Minho-yah," he mumbled sleepily.

Minho frowned. "What?"

Hyunjin blinked up at him, gaze unfocused. "Why do you hate me?"

Minho's breath hitched.

"I don't—"

"You do," Hyunjin cut him off. "You always look at me like I'm... nothing."

Minho clenched his fists. "That's not true."

Hyunjin just sighed. "You're so mean to me."

Minho opened his mouth, but no words came out.

Because Hyunjin wasn't wrong.

Minho had been cruel.

And yet, here he was, tucking him into bed like he actually cared.

Maybe he did.

And maybe that was the problem.

--

Minho didn't sleep that night.

He sat on the edge of his own bed, staring at his hands.

He hated how easily Hyunjin got under his skin.

He hated how the sight of him with other people made his blood boil.

But most of all—he hated how, despite everything, Hyunjin still looked at him with something close to hope.

What the hell was wrong with him?

His phone buzzed, snapping him out of his thoughts.

A call.

From Seungmin.

Minho hesitated.

Then, slowly, he picked up.

"Hey, babe," Seungmin's voice came through the receiver.

Minho swallowed, his grip on the phone tightening.

Seungmin was his boyfriend.

Seungmin was the one he was supposed to love.

Then why—

Why did his heart ache for someone else?