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Chapter 15

14: An Unsettling Revelation

The Rose of Rome

Livia felt as if the ground had shifted beneath her. "Married? To whom?" she demanded, her voice trembling with a mix of shock and apprehension. The question hung in the air, her eyes wide and searching for an answer in Julia's calm yet resolute demeanor.

Julia's gaze softened, but her resolve was unshakable. "To Decimus," she replied.

The name struck Livia like a physical blow, reverberating through her entire being. The memories of Decimus's erratic behavior, the slurred speech, the inappropriate comments, and the dark, unsettling look in his eyes crashed over her in a wave of dismay. "Decimus?" she echoed, her voice barely more than a whisper, as if she could barely comprehend the words.

Julia's eyes, full of a mother's painful understanding, met Livia's. "Yes, Decimus. It's been arranged for the benefit of our family. His connections, his family's power—"

"But why him?" Livia interjected, her voice rising with a mix of frustration and disbelief. "Why must it be Decimus? After everything that happened..."

Julia took a step closer, her hands reaching out to clasp Livia's trembling ones. "It has been decided, my dear. Decimus is from a prominent family, and this union will fortify our position in society. Your father and I believe it is the best course of action for our future."

Livia pulled her hands away abruptly, her movements sharp and defensive. "But he... he behaved so poorly, Mother," she said, her voice cracking with emotion. "How can I possibly marry him after what happened?"

Julia's expression softened further, though her resolve remained firm. "People can change, Livia. He promised your father weeks ago that he will take good care about you."

The room felt suddenly stifling, as though the walls were closing in on her. Livia paced restlessly, her mind a tempest of conflicting emotions. "And what if I refuse?" she asked, her voice trembling but laced with a desperate resolve. "What if I do not wish to marry him? Not now, not after how I saw him last night... humiliating me in front of my friends."

Julia's face tightened with a blend of concern and resignation. "This marriage is more than a mere union between two people," she said gently but firmly. "It is a strategic alliance that will benefit our family greatly. I know it is not what you envisioned, but this is the path that has been set before us."

Livia's heart ached with the weight of her mother's words, the promise of power and influence feeling like a heavy shroud over her personal desires. The idea of marrying Decimus, who had been a confusing presence in her life, seemed unbearable.

As Livia wrestled with her inner turmoil, the door to the atrium creaked open, and a servant entered, carrying a small tray of pastries. The sight of the food felt like a jarring reminder of the normalcy she was about to lose. Julia turned to the servant with a polite nod. "Leave us for now," she instructed softly. The servant bowed and exited, leaving mother and daughter alone once more.

"I need time to think," Livia finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. "This is all too much."

Julia's face, etched with worry, nodded in understanding. "I understand. Take the time you need. We can discuss this further when you're ready."

As Julia left the atrium, Livia was enveloped in solitude. The weight of the revelation pressed heavily on her shoulders, making her feel trapped and isolated. She sank onto a cushioned bench, staring out of the window at the bustling streets below, her mind a whirlpool of confusion and dread.

The late afternoon sun cast long shadows across the room, its fading light illuminating Livia's troubled face. Her thoughts drifted back to Decimus—the crude jokes, the crude behavior, the unsettling glint in his eyes. Everything he had said and done seemed like a mocking parody of the man she was now expected to marry.

As dusk began to fall, casting an eerie twilight over the villa's gardens, Livia sought refuge among the blooming flowers. Her heart was a tempest of fear, anger, and confusion. The evening air was cool and damp, mirroring her own sense of foreboding.

Suddenly, a shadow fell across her path. Livia turned to find Decimus standing at a distance, his presence commanding and unsettling even in the dim light. His gaze was intense, piercing through the growing darkness. The twilight deepened into darkness as Decimus approached Livia, his figure now a looming silhouette against the fading light. The gentle rustle of leaves and the distant hum of evening life formed a backdrop to the charged silence between them.

Livia stood rooted in place, her heart hammering against her ribs. The memories of Decimus's touch on the boat, the way his lips had brushed against her neck, and the words he'd whispered flickered in her mind like a haunting melody. Those moments, though charged with passion, were now marred by the shameful recollections of his drunken behavior.

Decimus closed the distance, his footsteps steady and purposeful. The soft glow from a nearby lamp revealed the contrite expression on his face, his eyes reflecting the dim light with a vulnerable gleam. As he reached her, he paused, his gaze searching hers.

"Livia," he said softly, his voice filled with an earnestness that seemed almost too fragile for the moment. "I—"

Before he could finish, Livia's emotions surged like a tidal wave. She turned away, the sting of tears already blurring her vision. "Decimus, I cannot ignore what happened yesterday," she said, her voice quivering with hurt and frustration. "Your drunken behavior was humiliating, not just for me but for everyone who witnessed it. It's like you've made a mockery of our future together."

Her words were punctuated by a sob, the rawness of her anguish spilling forth. The tears she had tried to hold back now streamed down her cheeks, each drop a testament to her deep emotional turmoil. Livia's hands, clenched into trembling fists, betrayed her inner struggle.

Decimus's face softened with a blend of remorse and determination. He stepped closer, extending his arms in a gesture of both apology and solace. "Livia," he said again, his voice breaking slightly, "please, I am truly sorry. I know I have let you down. My behavior was inexcusable. I am not the man I want to be."

Livia hesitated, her body stiff and her heart conflicted. The earnestness in Decimus's voice, the sincerity in his eyes, spoke to a part of her that still longed for the connection she had felt before. Yet, the memory of his previous actions loomed large, casting a shadow over his current pleas.

Decimus closed the final gap between them and enveloped her in his arms, his embrace both tender and pleading. He buried his face in her shoulder, whispering into her ear, "I promise you, I will change. I swear to you, I will never touch a drop of wine again. I want to be the man you deserve, not the fool who hurt you."

The warmth of his embrace, though comforting, was laden with a bittersweet sting. Livia could feel his heartbeat against her own, a rhythm that spoke of his vulnerability and his genuine remorse. The closeness reminded her of the tender moments they had shared, but it also highlighted the chasm created by his actions.

Her tears continued to fall as she pulled back slightly, her gaze searching his face for the truth of his words. "How can I believe you, Decimus?" she asked, her voice thick with emotion. "How can I trust that you won't repeat this? You've shattered the trust I was trying so hard to build. I want to believe that you can change, but I need to see it, not just hear it."

Decimus's eyes, filled with a pained resolve, met hers. "I understand, Livia. I know my actions have cast a dark shadow over everything. I will prove it to you, day by day, with my actions and not just my words. I know it won't be easy, but I am committed to making amends. Please, just give me the chance to show you who I truly can be."

Livia took a shaky breath, her heart torn between the lingering affection she felt and the deep hurt his actions had caused. The promise of change, though earnest, seemed like a fragile hope against the backdrop of her recent pain. She wanted to believe him, to embrace the possibility of a future unmarred by his past mistakes, but the scars of the past were not easily erased.

The silence between them grew heavy, each second stretching into eternity as they stood face to face, their emotions laid bare. The garden around them seemed to hold its breath, reflecting the gravity of their conversation.

Finally, Livia spoke, her voice trembling but resolute. "Decimus, I want to believe you. I want to think that the man I felt connected to on the boat is still inside you. But I can't ignore the truth of what happened yesterday. Your behavior was not just a lapse. It was a reflection of something deeper, something that terrifies me."

She pulled away from him, her eyes locked onto his with a fierce intensity. "I'm afraid, Decimus. Afraid of who you might become if things don't change. I'm afraid that this is all a charade to secure your own ambitions at the cost of my happiness."

Decimus's face fell, the weight of her words striking him hard. "Livia, I swear, this isn't about ambition. I want to be with you, truly. I am committed to changing, to making things right."

Livia shook her head, her expression resolute. "Words are not enough, Decimus. I need to see real change, not just promises. You've shown me a side of yourself that I cannot easily forget. I need time, time to see if you are truly capable of the change you promise."

Decimus's shoulders slumped with a mixture of despair and resignation. "If that's what you need, I will give you time. I will do whatever it takes to prove myself to you. Just please, don't shut me out completely."

As he stepped back, his gaze filled with a forlorn hope, Livia's heart ached with a complex mix of emotions. The evening air grew colder, a tangible reminder of the uncertain path ahead. With a final, lingering look, Decimus turned and walked away, leaving Livia standing alone in the garden.

As the garden's shadows deepened, Livia felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness and uncertainty. She sat on a marble bench, the cool stone seeping through her thin gown, grounding her in the present while her mind whirled with thoughts of the future. Her heart was a battleground where hope and fear waged war. She had seen the best and worst of Decimus, and the juxtaposition left her feeling dizzy and unmoored.

She thought back to their first meeting, the way his eyes had sparkled with charm and wit, the gentle touch of his hand as he helped her onto the boat. She had felt a flutter of excitement then, a budding connection that had promised something beautiful. But now, that same touch was tainted by the memory of his drunken grasp, his slurred words, and the darkness that had shadowed his eyes.

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