CHAPTER FIFTEEN

This was what death felt like. It had to be. Everything was pain. Moving, breathing, and even her heart beating caused perfect agony to course through her body.

It was nearly dawn. The desert air was as cold as ice, and Enfri shivered worse than if she just had a swim in winter. She curled her arms against her chest to try to retain what little heat she had. Only the glow on the eastern horizon gave her hope that she wouldn't freeze to death. Then, her problems would shift to the other extreme.

Enfri no longer had the strength to stand. She lay on her stomach on the crest of a sand dune and waited to die. Or live. Neither felt appealing.

She coughed. It was a gasping, wheezing display, and it brought more sand into her lungs than relief. Enfri gagged on the grit in her throat, but she eventually managed to start breathing again.

"It's not enough, is it?" Enfri panted. "We've been running all night, gone spirits know how many miles, and it's still not enough."

Deebee heaved and something vile came out of her throat to spill over the loose sand. Though she didn't need to exert herself physically, Deebee had been giving Enfri strength through the bond. She was now in just as horrid a position as Enfri was. "Eighteen miles," she said. "I counted. Eighteen miles in six hours."

"Can we afford to rest?" Enfri asked.

Deebee looked uncertain. "Think of this as a learning experience," she said while forcing levity into her tone. "This... Oh winds, one moment." She retched over the sand again. "This is what's called ethershock. It happens to arcanists that have drained their bodies of ether."

Enfri rolled onto her back and looked up at the stars that were fading from the sky. She wiped sand from her lips before speaking. "But I'm not an arcanist."

"You still have ether," Deebee replied. "Not all mortals can sing, but most have tongues. It's the same with magic. Potential and ability are two different things. I gave my strength to you. Then I fed on your ether to revitalize myself so I could give that to you, too."

Enfri grimaced. The bond was proving to be a circular concept. One of them pushed while the other pulled, each gaining something in return until their shared cup ran dry. This bond between them had allowed her to travel farther and faster than she could have alone, but Enfri hated that it was starting to make sense to her. There was something of a comfort to be found in not knowing.

"Is it dangerous?" Enfri asked.

"Ethershock? Very much so. I've seen arcanists cast spells beyond their abilities and drop dead a moment later. Too many spells, too strong of spells, or holding a spell longer than your ether can support it are all sure paths to where we are now."

Enfri wanted to sit up. Her brace stopped feeling like knives cutting into her flesh a few hours ago. Now, it felt like a branding iron against her skin. She wanted it off but didn't have the strength.

"Is that what happened when you locked Bellamy into a wolf?" Enfri asked.

Deebee made a sound that might have been an affirmative. "A calculated risk," she said.

"You've made a lot of those since sundown," Enfri muttered. "Ethershocked twice before the sunrise."

The spike of indignation coming from Deebee was almost tangible. "I beg your pardon?"

Enfri covered her face with her hands. "I'm sorry, Deebee," she said, her voice heavy with exhaustion. "Just... ignore me. You know I get cranky when I miss a night's sleep."

Deebee sighed. "No. You're right. Both about the crankiness and my mistakes. My decisions tonight have almost gotten you killed more times than I care to count."

She wasn't wrong. Tarlus saw through the polymorphy. Gain was watching the road. Josy bested Deebee in a direct conflict. Enfri and Deebee were now both exhausted and ethershocked nearly twenty miles into the desert. Jin and her family were inevitably going to give chase if they weren't already.

"I'm still alive," Enfri murmured. "Because of you. Don't you dare mourn me yet."

Deebee seemed unconvinced.

"Look there." Enfri pointed in the general direction of the rising sun. "See that? Without you, Jin would be walking into my house right now. I'd be dead this very moment, so stop acting as if you've made things worse, because you haven't. You saved me, Deebee."

Deebee opened her mouth, then closed it again. Enfri guessed that she had just stopped herself from asking "For how long?"

They didn't have the time to sit around feeling sorry for themselves. They were supposed to be recovering, not wallowing in rampant pessimism. Enfri reached into her pockets and pulled out her remaining vex sprouts. She thrust some towards Deebee and made herself chew on the rest. The moisture in the sprouts was like a breath of cool air on a summer day.

Deebee grunted to herself as she gnawed on them. "If I'm not careful, I'll get a taste for these things. I find it hard to believe that I've never heard of the ether-replenishing properties of vex sprouts before."

"I can't speak for arcanists," Enfri sighed, "but vex only grows in western Althandor. It's harder to cultivate than alfalfa, and most people can't tell the difference."

Deebee hummed in consideration. "You could take your notes on them to any city in the Five Kingdoms and be given a magocracy title. I think you might have discovered a new cash crop."

"Discovered?" Enfri asked. "Hardly. Sky women all over the kingdom have been using vex sprouts for generations. It's not a new thing."

Deebee swallowed. "Interesting," she said to herself. "Very interesting what wonders those in power fail to learn from the goodfolk. What other miracle herbs did you bring?"

Enfri rolled onto her stomach and leaned on her arms. It was the best she could do. A sitting position was out of the question. "A few strips of willowbark, a little more sunwillow, a spark blossom for some reason, and a bottle of essenroot and nightshade anesthetic."

A thought came to her. Jin and Gain were both adamant that they didn't want anesthetic. There had to be a reason why.

"What does essenroot do to a sorcerer?" Enfri asked. "Or nightshade. Poppy oil maybe."

"Too many poppies make mortals act funny," Deebee offered.

"Because they're narcotic. Nightshade is deadly toxic except in the smallest amounts. Grandmother was never fully certain of how essenroot does what it does. My guess is that it blocks nerves from sending their signals. I should make a term for that. Neural paralytic maybe."

Deebee curled up beneath Enfri's body, probably to absorb some heat like a lizard basking on sunny rocks. "It was a crime for Mierwyn to keep you from magic," she said. "Listen to yourself. You talk like an alchemist."

A shudder ran down Enfri's body that had nothing to do with the cold. Jin had said much the same thing. Enfri didn't want to hear an assassin's words repeated from Deebee's mouth.

The anesthetic went back into her pocket, and Enfri scanned the desert to the east. From the crest of the sand dune, she had a good view of the way they had come. There was no sign of the assassins or the Merovech's soldiers.

She didn't know how Jin would go about pursuing her into the desert, only that she would. Jin didn't strike Enfri as the sort to give up easily.

"Enfri," Deebee began hesitantly, "there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."

"Now might be your last chance for a long time. What is it?"

Deebee wriggled out from under Enfri and stood in front of her face. "When Gain appeared on the road, you charged the horse at him."

Enfri looked away. At the time, it had seemed the most natural thing to do; ride down the enemy and try to crush him. It was so far away from how she saw herself.

She had been angry. No, enraged. Reckless. A blustering madwoman. Enfri was lucky to still be alive.

"I know. I'm sorry. You have my word, Deebee. I'll never do anything like that again."

"That's not what I meant," Deebee replied with a shake of her head. "Flames, girl, but I was rather proud of you. No, what I meant is what you said while we were charging him."

Enfri thought back. Had she said something? She vaguely recalled that she did. "What about it?"

Deebee pushed her snout closer to Enfri's face. "Say it again for me."

"I said 'I am not afraid'." Enfri felt herself blush. Repeating it now was somewhat embarrassing.

Deebee's eyes widened. "No, girl. What you said was 'Aes tonroth don sul diin'. It means more or less the same thing, but I wasn't aware you knew the Aeldenn Tones."

"Eh?"

"The Aeldenn Tones. The high tongue of Shan Alee? It's the language that witches use to entreat spirits as they cast their spells. You rarely hear it outside of incantations anymore, not since Shan Alee fell."

Enfri had to go over what Deebee said twice more in her head before she was certain she had heard right. "Deebee?"

"Yes?"

"I'm done," Enfri said in a calm and even voice. "No more, please. My eyes have turned green, apparently. I'm sharing my soul energy with a dragon. Now, you're telling me I'm speaking in tongues. I am done."

Deebee started cackling as if Enfri had said the funniest thing in the world. "Winds and storms. Quite the pair, aren't we? If we put both our heads together, we'd still be a half-wit."

Enfri pushed against the ground and got to her knees. "I think we're both out of our element. I'm better suited for gardens."

"As you wish, love. I'll drop it for now. There'll be all the time in the world to go over this. First, we have to get you away from Jin and the others."

Enfri asked for Deebee to assist her. She pulled her dress off over her head and fumbled with the straps of her brace.

Deebee changed herself into her human form. The task required nimbleness that her claws weren't suited for. She hissed in sympathy when she saw the raw, angry abrasions the brace left on Enfri's skin.

"Here," Enfri said. "Rub this on me." She passed a bottle of antiseptic to Deebee, then hugged her arms around her chest to still her shivering.

Being bare to the waist in freezing temperatures was torturous, but Enfri preferred it to wearing the brace for another second. When Deebee dripped the mixture over her wounds, Enfri took in a sharp breath. It stung like hot needles. It only got worse when Deebee massaged the antiseptic in. Enfri could endure it. The pain meant it was working.

"I wish I had enough ether," Deebee murmured. "You'd draw it from me and heal in moments."

"What do we do now?" Enfri asked. The idea of using the bond to heal made her anxious. She tried to tell herself it was because it would make her skills less useful, but she recognized her own lie. The last time this bond healed someone, Father was killed for it. "Once we're rested, where do we go?"

Deebee was being gentle with her administrations. There was a hesitance in the way she put the ointment on Enfri's skin. "I'm afraid I didn't plan for this. The king's hounds left us no other option."

"Have you explored the desert at all? I don't remember you ever saying if you have."

"I have," Deebee said softly. "A long time ago. Deserts have a habit of changing one month to the next, but I spotted some landmarks to the west that I recognize."

"Could we cross it?"

"Cross the Espalla Dunes? It's been done, but by men and women who prepared and studied for the journey for years. This is a harsh land. There's little water and less vegetation. The creatures are dangerous, and the people even more so."

"People?" Enfri asked.

"Desert tribes. Good and hardy folk. I've always been rather fond of them. Their caravans and holdfasts are further north and rarely venture towards these regions. They believe this part of the desert is cursed."

"Comforting," Enfri growled. "I suppose we can't ask them for help."

"It's not a bad idea," Deebee mused. "Actually, it may be our best bet. We have a much higher chance of reaching them than the Jade Empire on the other side of the desert. The Espallan people once had close ties to the Aleesh. I'd wager that there's a few drops of blood connecting you to them. They might welcome you as a lost daughter."

Enfri rolled her shoulders as Deebee finished. She hastily put her shift and dress back on. The brace stayed off. She'd bundle it up and carry it over her shoulder, but she wouldn't consider wearing it again until her abrasions healed.

"What are they like?" she asked. "Would an herbalist be any use to them in the desert?"

"I should say so," Deebee replied after she transformed back into her regular form. "Even more than in Sandharbor, I'd say. If you could coax something green from their land, they'd treat you like a queen, and only fools turn away a healer as skilled as you."

Deebee leapt up to sit on Enfri's shoulder. She busied herself with picking sand out of Enfri's hair as she continued speaking.

"The Espallans are brown-skinned, like you and your father. Black haired and dark eyed. They're not as tall as Althandi, or as soft-featured. Espallans are rough-hewn and weathered, though still beautiful. The men are austere and the ladies are stately. A strong people, deliberate and proud. They weigh their options carefully before they act, and they adore tales of honor and romance. I think you'll experience some culture shock, but you'll find much about them to admire. They're kind as well, always willing to give water to a stranger in need. They treat others as they would wish others to treat them."

Enfri chewed on her lower lip. "You said they were dangerous."

"Oh, indeed. They're cunning warriors, and they know the desert's secrets well. Althandor has tried to cross the Dunes and invade the Jade Empire three times. They've yet to reach even the Li Lung Mountains. The tribes put a stop to it each time. They aren't numerous, but one desert warrior is worth a hundred dehydrated soldiers with heat stroke."

"I've never heard of these places," Enfri said. "Li Lung Mountains? The Jade Empire?"

"I'm sure you'll have the chance to learn of them. The Espallans and the People of Jade are friendly with one another. Each honors the other in their prayers. There's plenty of trade between them, and the empire has been generous in repaying the Espallans for guarding them against Althandor."

Enfri thought it all sounded... wonderful. Perhaps if she found the Espallans, she could follow their caravans as far west as west could go. Away from Althandor. Away from Jin. A wasteland of sand and stone separating her from the king that wanted her dead.

She would be safe.

"I can get up," Enfri said as she rose painfully to her feet. "Let's go."

Deebee hopped to the top of Enfri's head. "Hold up, Eager Breeches. You've never been in the desert before, yes?"

"I have," Enfri said defensively. "Many times, with Mother and Grandmother."

"How far and for how long?"

Enfri pursed her lips. "Just the outskirts for a few hours. We were hunting for red sand spiders. Their venom cures toothaches."

Deebee hummed. "Well, traveling into the deep desert is an entirely different matter than digging for spiders. Frankly, we're as unprepared for it as we can get without being naked."

"I have two skins of water. That should be enough for a few days if I'm careful."

Deebee pointed Enfri to the northwest, and they started in that direction. Enfri picked her way carefully as she descended the dune. She thought she could make herself run again if she needed to.

"I'd say a day and a half of water if we're lucky," Deebee said. "Dragons can go without for weeks if we need to, but mortals aren't so resilient. You'll need more water than we have if we're going to reach the Espallans."

"You have a suggestion in mind?"

"A hope, and there's no guarantee." Deebee jumped back to Enfri's shoulder. "Can you see that spire of rocks on the horizon?"

Enfri nodded. She needed to squint to make out the shape, but the light of the dawn revealed a distant finger of stone rising above the sand. It looked to be many miles away.

"You want to go there?" she asked. "How far is it?"

"A half-day's flight for me. I'm afraid it would be much slower by foot. Two, perhaps three days."

That was about as far as Enfri's water supply could last her. She glanced at Deebee and saw her worry reflected in the dragon's amber eyes.

"The last time I explored the desert, there was a wellspring in the caves at its base," Deebee said. "We can restock your water. The nearest Espallan holdfast is just a day and a half's journey from there."

"How long has it been since you last saw this wellspring?"

Deebee made an anxious sound. "Four hundred years ago."

Enfri whistled.

"Yes, yes. I'm quite ancient, aren't I?"

Deebee's tone was affronted, but it seemed more a front. She was worried they'd arrive at the wellspring and find it long turned to dust.

Enfri realized that Deebee doubted herself. After the night's events, she no longer had confidence that her chosen path was the correct one. The tiny, mighty dragon had been humbled. It broke Enfri's heart to see it.

"It wasn't long after I was hatched," Deebee continued. "A century, I think. I was still but a dragonet. I ran from my elders for some reason I can't remember, and I found myself drawn here. I made my lair in the caves beneath that spire for a time, until Varn found me and drug me back to the others by my tail."

Enfri chuckled at the image. She'd heard Deebee mention this Varn now and then in passing, Varn the Librarian, always with a mixture of adoration and sadness. He was an elder dragon, one of the last of the mighty to have seen Shan Alee with his own eyes. Long gone, now. The eldest of the mighty, Varn included, withdrew from the world for mysterious reasons Deebee didn't know. It was plain that she missed her granduncle terribly.

"Let's just walk until we find shelter from the sun," Deebee said. "I remember there being rocky outcroppings around here that will serve. We'll travel by night and sleep by day. That'll spare you from the sun, and you'll need less water."

It made sense. Enfri had once listened to some traders in Sandharbor who talked about doing the same. They sometimes cut across the desert to reach the southern ports in Altier Nashal.

"What's between us and the wellspring?" Enfri asked. She was worried about coming across scale lions almost as much as being caught by Jin.

"Nothing," Deebee whispered sadly. Her eyes were focused on the horizon. "Not anymore."

Enfri glanced at her in question. Deebee caught the look and turned away. Her voice became heavy with grief and an old sorrow.

"Just the past."