CH 81

Finally, the break time arrived, and I enjoyed tea time in my changed clothes.

Dora lightly arranged my hair, so I didn’t look out of place. Later, I realized that the dress Jeremiah gave me was not for evening parties but for daytime use. It had a neat and elegant design, and it didn’t make me feel as dull and outdated as my usual clothes. I didn’t feel any discomfort wearing it.

“Do you like it?”

“Of course! I don’t feel uneasy wearing it, and it’s really beautiful. Thank you so much.”

“Well, I didn’t want you to be criticized by my sister too much. This will make you feel a little relieved, right?”

I smiled and replied to Jeremiah’s question, “Yes, I guess so.”

Of course, the background to his consideration was related to my first meeting with Paula.

I was still too embarrassed to be alone with him at that time, so Paula and I rode in a carriage. However, my spirit was exhausted, and there was a time when my soul left my body. He probably remembers that incident and is being considerate of me.

It was very much appreciated.

“Well, if you like it, that’s enough.”

Saying that, Jeremiah narrowed his eyes and looked at me.

Staring at me, I felt incredibly uneasy. In the past, I wouldn’t have felt this way even if someone was looking at me. At that time, I dismissed it as a coincidence if our eyes met.

I put the cup of tea back on the table and felt very happy.

Being given gifts like this, having someone by my side who worries about me, and feeling so happy that I wonder if I’ll ever be this happy again in the future.

“…But I feel like you don’t wear the things I gave you very often?”

Taken aback by his unexpected question, I looked at Jeremiah’s face. He continued with a slightly dissatisfied expression.

“Well, it can’t be helped since most of what I gave you before were evening dresses, but there were other things too, right? If you’re worried about something, please tell me clearly.”

——H-He’s really looking at me!

In the past, I was the one who stared at him, so I knew more about him than he did about me. That hasn’t changed much even now.

So I understand. When you stare at someone, you can learn a lot of things. In other words, he was staring at me.

The moment my brain understood that, I felt like I had a fever.

So this is what it means to have your face turn red!

I couldn’t reply for a while, and I ended up looking straight into Jeremiah’s eyes. Then, he looked a little sad. I thought I had to clear up the misunderstanding, so I spoke up, stumbling over my words.

“W-Well…”

“Well?”

“I-it’s just that…I feel like it’s a waste to wear it, and besides, it doesn’t make sense to look pretty when you’re not around, Jeremiah.”

My voice became as quiet as a mosquito’s buzz towards the end.

However, that was the truth. I received it as a gift, and I want to wear it in front of him and have it on me. But as Jeremiah said, the previous gift was mainly for evening parties and such, so there was no opportunity.

“I see. So that’s how it is. That’s right, that might be better.”

“Huh?”

“I told you before, didn’t I? I don’t want to see you getting close to other men, and if you dress conspicuously like that, the chances of men approaching you will be lower because you won’t stand out. That’s better for me…because I can have you all to myself.”

He said it. I remember it vividly. It was when I asked him why I had to be accompanied by Dennis.

At that time and now, my heart is in a pitiful state. Rather than that, I can’t think straight. What should I do about this?

“Thank you for telling me. Well then, we should go before Nee-san gets angry.”

“Y-Yes.”

I stood up as instructed, but my legs stumbled from the shock I received from Jeremiah.

“Ah.”

He caught me before I fell, but being in such close proximity was difficult for me now.

“Are you okay? If you’re tired, I’ll tell Nee-san that you need to rest.”

“I’m, I’m fine!”

If I do that, I would end up being treated like a toy for even longer. I desperately tried to move my legs and told myself that I had to go with the strength to leave footprints on the floor.

Jeremiah looked worried and said, “That’s good, but if you’re tired, please tell me.”

“Y-Yes, okay. No, really, I’m fine!”

I had to pull myself together and stand up. Otherwise, I would die, mainly my spirit would die.

Encouraging myself like that, I took a step forward. Then Jeremiah gently moved to my side and offered his arm. His consideration made me happy and grateful, but once again my thoughts became foggy.

After that, somehow we managed to return to the makeshift hat shop and tailor inside Duke’s mansion. Despite feeling disoriented, I followed Paula’s instructions and managed to get through all the measurements and other tasks.

◇

The next day, I woke up and started my activities while still feeling somewhat tired from yesterday.

The reason was that I finally received a reply to my letter and wanted to read it. I headed to the library in Duke’s mansion. There was a writing desk there, and I planned to read a book after reading the letter and writing a reply.

The reason why I wanted to read a book was that Jeremiah was out today, so I had nothing to do. I no longer needed to monitor Lucia, and I wanted to recover my worn-out spirit a little.

When I arrived at the library, Dennis had prepared the fireplace, and the room was warm. I thought it was very kind of her and immediately opened the letter.