CH 42
I Was Confessed to by the Person I Was Admiring
On the other hand, I was driven by the impulse to disappear right now.
Oh, I wish I could become invisible. Or rather, I never thought I would disclose it like this. I thought I would introduce myself to each person and say, âI am the fiancée.â
Itâs so overwhelming to suddenly become the center of attention like this, and I feel like my mind is about to disappear into a haze.
Looking at Jeremiah as if to say, âWhat are you doing?â he gives me a very satisfied smile. Itâs a smile Iâve never seen before, as if to say, âI did it.â
Amidst the words of congratulations and the sound of toasting, a slow waltz begins to play.
Jeremiah, still smiling, leaves me for a moment and says, âWould you like to dance with me?â
I feel like Iâve been trapped, but I canât refuse his invitation because I like him so much that I want to look at his face forever and listen to his voice. I smile and answer, âIâd be delighted.â
The people who witnessed that exchange open up a path for us as we walk to the center. No one has danced yet. It seemed like we were going to start it off.
Amidst the attention, we step forward and start to dance.
Iâm still not very good at dancing, but itâs the latest dance Iâve managed to learn desperately.
For a while, only we danced.
My heart felt like it was about to explode. However, if I entrusted myself to the strong arms that led me firmly, I naturally began to enjoy moving.
As the song progressed, other couples began to dance.
I saw Tatiana close one eye and say congratulations to us, so I nodded shyly.
Dorothea and Lord Grimani also joined in. Other couples we had become friendly with during our stay at the Castalde familyâs estate, close friends, sons and daughters of local dignitaries and politicians also joined in.
And so, the ball began.
After dancing a few songs, we left the circle.
While we ate the light snacks that were prepared and waited for our bodies to cool down with drinks, Jeremiah approached me with a slightly hesitant expression.
âHey, thereâs something I want to talk to you about⦠Can we go outside for a bit?â
I stopped drinking and remembered that I also had something I wanted to say. I had forgotten due to the nervousness. This might be a good opportunity.
âYes, well⦠Actually, I also have something I want to say.â
âI see. Then, shall we go to the garden?â
Jeremiah showed a momentarily bewildered expression before pointing to the door on the south side of the hall. Thatâs the closest way out. The main door is always open, and tired guests or those who want to get away from the noise often come and go.
I placed my hand on Jeremiahâs outstretched arm and began to walk.
Although there were eyes looking at us, it seemed that they thought we wanted to be alone, so no one spoke to us.
When we reached the hallway, we passed the library and dining room and went out onto the terrace that led to the garden.
From there, the natural garden outside the mansion could be seen well. However, it was currently night, and although the moon was out, it wasnât very visible.
Jeremiah passed the terrace and headed to a place where no one could eavesdrop.
Eventually, when we reached the stone bridge over the stream that flowed through the garden, he finally stopped. It was still early spring, and the night wind was cold.
When I shivered slightly, Jeremiah immediately noticed and took off his coat, draping it over my shoulders. My heart tightened at his natural gesture.
âIâm sorry, I should have brought a coat for you. But I thought someone might hear us inside the buildingâ¦â
âNo, Iâll be fine. Thank you.â
When I answered like that, Jeremiah looked a little relieved and then cleared his throat.
âI see, then letâs keep it brief. But before that, I have to apologize to you.â
âApologize? Why?â
âFor everything Iâm about to say, including the presentation earlier.â
I tilted my head because I couldnât see what he was trying to say. At the same time, I felt a sense of unease creeping over me.
Could it be that the engagement was a mistake?
Or maybe there were conditions attached to the engagement or marriage?
Jeremiah looked guilty as he began to speak.
âIâve been lying to you all along. If I didnât do this, I didnât think you would agree to our engagement so easily⦠But if I donât act quickly, someone might notice your charm, like Lord Caldelaraâs brother. I was thinking about what to do when you came to this mansion. I had an excuse to get closer to you.
However, I didnât think you would believe me if I suddenly confessed my feelings, so I decided to start by restraining others.â
As he spoke calmly while looking into the distance, his words seemed like a confession of love, and I couldnât help but look away. I felt a mixture of hope and anxiety, and my emotions were in turmoil.
âHonestly, I thought that the way I said it was bad later on. However, you accepted my offer. I was surprised, but I was desperate not to waste this opportunity.
You said you liked my appearance, but you didnât say anything about me as a person. Even so, I thought that if I used my appearance, your feelings might waver.
Despite that, no matter how much I tempted you or gave you gifts, it had no effect. But once I realized that it came from an inferiority complex, I wanted to do whatever it takes to get rid of that misconception.â
I could feel the wind moving slightly, and Jeremiah turned to face me.
Then, he held both of my hands. But I couldnât lift my face and was doing my best to suppress the turmoil in my chest.
âFinally, you got rid of that misconceptionâ¦Iâm happy.â
This is strange. This sounds like a confession of love. He was speaking calmly, but it was a story of my (Lorraineâs) struggles. I couldnât take it anymore and asked what he meant.
ââ¦Wait a minute. That sounds like youâre saying that you like me.â
Then, he looked at me with a surprised expression.