CH 34

“Do you know that I have memories from my past life?”

“Oh, yes. I know someone else who has them too, so it’s not that rare…”

He tilted his head curiously. In reality, being a memory holder can vary greatly, with some having strong memories like me, while others only have vague ones. There are even some who only possess technical knowledge or skills.

Where in the Bible does it Say to C...

In my case, I have no knowledge or skills related to language or technology, but I have a vivid memory of my experiences. I knew that this was probably the cause of my personality.

“Well, I think it’s probably related to my past life. I died before my current age in my past life. I think I was around fifteen or sixteen years old.”

“That’s quite young.”

“I had a serious internal organ disease… and there was no treatment available. I realized that no matter how much effort I put in, there are things that I can never achieve.”

“Also, due to taking a lot of medicine, my appearance was in a terrible state, and I was teased at school because of it. Children can be quite cruel, you know?

So, I gave up on everything, thinking that I was no good and that effort is never rewarded.”

This was the first time I had talked about my past to someone other than my family. I had never even told Dorothea. But I wanted him to know.

I wasn’t afraid of what he might think, but I wanted to convey it properly. However, my heart was beating fast. I wanted to cancel out the fear somehow, so I opened my mouth before he could respond.

“But, Jeremiah-sama and Lady Astorga taught me that the current me, who was born here, is different from my previous self. I must thank both of you. Otherwise, I would have been trapped in my own beliefs forever.”

My voice trembled. I was weak and pathetic, but I didn’t want to be denied. I waited for him to say something. Eventually, he spoke in a calm tone.

“I see, that’s what happened… But if my actions can help you stop belittling yourself, then I am satisfied.”

Jeremiah gently held both of my hands.

Only gentle colors floated on his well-formed sweet face. I couldn’t find anything that would deny me. Moreover, just being by his side like this was enough. Even if he didn’t see me as a woman, it was enough to be by his side like this.

However, if he said he wanted me to stand by his side like this even after the engagement period was over, I would make the effort to be worthy of that position. Even if I wasn’t rewarded, I would be satisfied with that.

Once my mind was made up, I felt relieved.

“Thank you. From now on, I will try to see myself more justly.”

“Please do. Well, now that we’ve finished talking, what do you say?”

“If it’s the library, I’ll go with you.”

I replied with a smile.

❂❂❂

After that, Jeremiah and I spent some time in the library and talked about our favorite things for a while. It was surprisingly close, and I was quite surprised.

As a result, we made a promise to go to the bookstore together next time.

I couldn’t help but smile.

Then I realized, “Oh no, this isn’t good for Dorothea,” and finally noticed that she wasn’t there. I went to the next room, thinking that maybe she was there, but she wasn’t.

“It’s strange, it’s been a while…”

I remember going out to get a little fresh air because I wanted to feel the wind on my face. Since it was night, there would be no one around. That was right after I returned from dinner. After that, I called Dora to change and get ready for bed, and then I read a book under the light for a while and reminisced about the daytime events after she left.

The surroundings were already enveloped in darkness, and the wind blowing outside was making eerie sounds as it hit the building.

It seems like the wind is strong today. I can’t stay out here for too long. If that’s the case, maybe something happened. Anxiety spread through my heart, and I couldn’t calm down.

“I have to go look for her.”

Her mental state is not good at all. I can’t leave her alone. Aunt trusts me. She should want to change rooms with me, but she’s just respecting her daughter’s feelings and not changing.

That’s why I was asked so many times.

I held a candle and got off the bed, quietly heading towards the door. Then, I heard a modest knock, followed by a muffled voice.

“I’m sorry to bother you so late at night… Could you spare a moment to talk?”

I was surprised and stared in amazement. It was Aurelio who spoke. Anyway, I unlocked the door and opened it, and a troubled smile appeared in front of me. But for some reason, I felt uncomfortable and took a step back.

“Lord Caldelara…?”

“Yes. I have something to discuss about your cousin. I’m sorry to bother you so late at night, but just for a little while.”

“Wait, can I ask a question first?”

“What is it?”

His narrowed eyes were like those of a fox, and I felt my spine stiffen. No, something was different. Did Aurelio ever smile like this? And above all…

“Why are you dressed as a naval officer instead of your usual attire?”

“…With that phrasing, I wonder if you’ve noticed.”

I reflexively raised the candle and shouted.

“Don’t come any closer!”

My body was paralyzed with fear, and my hands were shaking uncontrollably. The young man standing in front of me was not Aurelio. His soft, straw-colored hair tied at the back of his head and his sweet, beautiful face were almost identical to Aurelio’s, but he was slightly larger in build.

There was no way I could match his strength. I looked towards the door and reached out to close it, but before I could, his hand was already on it. It wouldn’t budge no matter how hard I pushed or pulled.

“You shouldn’t be doing something so dangerous.”

After he spoke those words lightly, a numbing pain shot through my wrist. I realized that the candlestick that had fallen to the floor had been knocked out of my hand. But before I could react, I was hit in the solar plexus by his fist, and my consciousness faded.

With my face contorted in pain from the tremendous impact, I looked at him.

The expression on his face was a flat smile.