CHAPTER 33

Zama's POV

My heart throbbed in my throat. I could feel my sweat trickling down my back. Goodness these staircases were a curse. They were too large they should have been declared a safety hazard. As soon as finished climbing the stairs a took a few seconds to catch my breath. I then resolved to walking to my room. As soon as I opened the door to my apartment. I was met by big broad shoulders, a deep baritone voice screaming commands at the receiver of the call. Slowly Fika turned to look at who had entered and as his eyes landed on me the room seemed to still. Rest in piece Zamagcina Nosipho Cele. Yes I want to die in one piece. Peace can go fuck itself.

He slowly dragged his eyes down my undressed silhouette. His eyes morphed from completely enraged to downright disgusted. Zamani had stopped pacing around the lounge. Ntuthuko stopped chewing on the apple, a piece of it was left stranded on his okapi. I never know why he loved eating fruit like that. From his teenage years he had developed that morbid habit of his. Fika had hung up on whoever he was shouting at.

"Uphuma kuphi?"

"Ngiphuma kwaSimphiwe" I lied

"Uqgoke kanje?"

"Ngiqinisile bhuti."I tried my luck once more but to say I was the world's most horrible liar world be an understatement. I bet Jesus was better.

"Ungazongi khulumela amasimba wena. Uphuma kubani" (don't talk rubbish, who are you coming from)he barked at me. I silently stared at him. He knew where I was he just wanted me to confirm it and I refused to give that satisfaction. "Umufihle kuphi lomfana wakho"(where did you hide that boy of yours) he questioned. "Usekufunze lama nyala wakhe bese ufika kimi usucabanga ukuthi um'dala kunami. Uyakusanganisa loya."he accused.(I fed you his nonsense stories and then you come to thinking you're grown. He drives you crazy)

"He told me that he loved me. After what I had done to him, after I betrayed him like that he came to tell me that he loved me." I sobbed and Fika sharply inhaled. "I did everything you wanted, you said it was for the best and now the only man I've ever truly loved does not know how to hate me. Do you how painful it was? Seeing the hurt and disappointment in his eyes." I continued.

"Zama what do you want? Do you want to settle down and find yourself a husband because that could be arranged. You don't need to be running after that stupid boy"

"He is not a stupid boy. Goodness, talking to you is like speaking to a damn rock!" I exclaimed as I dramatically threw my hands in the air. "You know what, I'm tired of debating with you. And by the way. Fuck you" I spat and with that a heavy and dizzying back handed slap had landed on my cheek. The silence after that grew to be a very haunting one. Zamani went up to Fika and gave him a very vicious glare which Fika gladly returned. My most overprotective brothers stared venomously at each other with Ntuthuko observing Fika like he was prey. Fika felt remorseful I knew he did but he was too much of a proud man especially in his boiling anger and so he opted to going to my kitchen to hide from me instead. "I need all of you to just leave", my lips let out those hollow and barely audible words.

I carefully went to my room, not wanted to make a sound to disturb the silence. I threw myself on my bed and let the waterworks do their job. I put my hand on my lips to stop the loud sobs that threatened to escape.

"Zaza please open the door", Zamani pleaded. I ignored him and carried on with my crying session. He begged me to open the door for a few more minutes before opening the door without my permission. He slowly peaked his head through the door. His eyes, much like mine, shone in the moon light. Nkosana did not bother closing my curtains so I did not bother either. "I come in peace" he said playfully. We usually said that to one another when we were trying to beg for forgiveness. "How are feeling" he foolishly asked. Of course I was not well, if he thought that would settle the dust then he had another thing coming. "Zama please forgive me, I'm sorry" he said insincerely. I knew he wasn't sorry for what I wanted him to be sorry about, that is why he didn't say why he was sorry. He wanted me to think he was sorry for what I wanted him to be sorry about. He came to sit besides me on the bed. Without my permission whatsoever, he came to cuddle me. My chest was pressed against his chest. "Kodwa Zama we're only trying to protect you. I know we may have gone about it the wrong way but we both know that boy is bad news" he said. This fool!

"Ngicela niphume endlini yami." I said as I scooted away from him. He release a sigh and stood up to leave.(Please leave my house)

"We're trying our best to protect you, you're just blinded by your infatuation with him" he said before closing the door behind him.

After a few minutes of serenity I was yet again disturbed. This time Ntuthuko walked in. Ntuthuko was a mystery, I wasn't sure if he came to comfort me, warn me like Zamani had done or just finish what Fika had started. Ntuthuko was never mean to me, he just protected me from afar.

He sat down next to me and placed something extremely cold on my swollen cheek. I shivered at the contact but maintained a straight face. I wasn't sure how bad the swelling was but I knew one thing and that is Fika had extremely large hands, calloused and were led by a very strong arm. I'm sure it must have been bad from the way Ntuthuko had his jaw perpetually clenched and barely maintained eye contact.

"For your cheek. To stop the swelling", he explained. "Do you remember when you were sixteen and that boy in your class started harrassing you? Do you remember what I said?" He spoke not even looking at me. I kept quiet and simply shook my head. "I said I will kill anyone who dares to harm you. You said you didn't want me killing people so I said I would do anything to them as long as it satisfies your anger. When I said that I meant it, if anyone hurts you they must pay the price." He said looking at me in the eye. I didn't want Nkosana to get hurt, especially because of Ntuthuko. Ntuthuko was in some way very similar to Nkosana. "What do you want me to do to him? Your brother I mean" he coldly continued.

I kept quiet for a while, half satisfied that Nkosana wasn't going to get hurt and half uneasy about how far Ntuthuko was willing to go to ensure that my anger is satisfied. "Maybe a punch or two" I said and he smirked at that. You're too nice, it hurts my soul" he said before kissing my forehead and leaving. I now declare Ntuthuko as my favourite brother.

*******

My peaceful yoghurt eating session was disturbed by a ping from my phone notifying me that Ntuthuko had sent a message. I just wanted to eat and sleep after a tiresome day at work. A call came in from him.

"Zama"

"Bhuti"

"Usendlini?"

"Yebo"

"Get dressed I'll be there in five minutes"

How the hell does one expect a lady to get dressed within five minutes? I wore a gown and a bonnet to try and hide my shame. As promised he arrived in five minutes and we drove in silence. I didn't ask where he was taking me because I knew he would flat out ignore me. When Ntuthuko does not want to answer you he won't, if he's tired of talking he won't talk.

His house came into view and parked by the gate. He walked out and expected me to follow him. Inside the yard were Fika, Zamani, Mnqobi and Zwide's cars. When we walked inside we found a boiling Mnqobi ready to attack Ntuthuko.

"Wena usibizela ndlini yakho bese uhambe uyolanda uZama. Ucabanga ukuthi nginesikhathi somhlaba wena"( you call us here and then you go to fetch Zama . You think I have all the time in the world) he barked. Ntuthuko in return gives him an annoyed look and  ignores him. Trust Ntuthuko to not give a shit about our oldest brother shouting at him.

Ntuthuko went straight to Fika and slapped him. While he was still struck by suprise Ntuthuko gave him a knee to the stomach. Fika growned in response. Ntuthuko beats the shit out of his older brother with swift movements and with ease. To add to that he delivered a heavy punch that had fika dropping to the floor with a loud thud. Lastly, he threw the last two punches before letting go. Everyone was too mortified to do anything or stop him. I was too scared to even scream. When he finished he looked at his bloodied knuckles with a small gleam in his eyes. He smirked as he looked at Fika lying down on the floor with a swollen eye. Blood was everywhere in his face I could hardly tell where it was coming from.

His empty eyes stared into mine with confusion.  He walked up to me and said that we should leave. I ran behind him while he took long strides to the car. By the time I got in, he had already started the ignition.  "Why don't you seem happy?" He asked after a heavy silence.

"They could have hurt you. What if they all ganged up against you. What would you have done then. I don't want you to get hurt because of me" I voice out pathetically. Sometimes I hate myself for having such a weak heart. He hummed in response.

"Tell me what your boyfriend was doing at your place at such an hour." He questioned.

"Well, he told me how betrayed he felt. That he still loved me. He also told me to not put my life in danger.", I summerised. My voice was cracking as the memories came flooding back. The disappointment in his eyes lived rent free in my mind. How could I do such a thing to someone I claimed to love?

"I hate him. But I won't kill him, you seem to love him too much." He said and I released a sigh of relief at that. Atleast one of my brother's was on my side. "Don't try to change him. Women love doing that, you think we're a jigsaw puzzle that needs fixing" he said and his hold on the steering wheel tightened after saying that.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I carefully asked and he blatantly ignored me. "Just so you know, you're my favourite brother and you don't need fixing. I love the moody and mean you just fine." I teased.

A small smile appeared on his lips. "I'm your favourite brother now?" He asked as he turned to look at me for a second before redirecting his focus. When I was younger my brother's used to do anything just so I can tell them that they're my favourite brother. Ntuthuko was never one to do so. He only sat silently next to me when I was sad so I can vent. He knew almost all my secrets because I knew he had no one to tell. We had our own special relationship.

"Awunawo amaswidi lana?" I asked, which in other words meant 'why didn't you buy me anything to chew on'. (Don't you have sweets here)

"Vula lana" he said as he pointed to the glove compartment. I squealed in excitement but I was silenced by a mean glare he gave me. "(Open here)

He parked by my apartment complex and walked out. I was guessing he wanted to walk me to my apartment. He stopped and stared at me for a long time with those emotionless eyes if his. He placed his hand on my shoulder. He he gave it a light squeeze before patting it. That man is very wierd. "Do want a hug?",I quizzically asked. He frowned at my question and immediately denied as if it was the most nonsensical thing to ever be said. I slowly opened my arms and closed the space between us, I then carefully encircled my arms around him.

"Uwenzani?" (What are you doing)

"Giving you a hug"

"Suka kimi"(get off of me) he commanded in hoped of scaring me off. I ignored him and poked his nose instead. He scrunched his nosed and looked at me with confusion and disgust. "Wena ucabanga ukuthi ngiyithoyizi lakho. Angiyena uZamani mina" he said.(You think I'm your toy. I'm not Zamani)

"Fine then,I'll do what you always do" I said before folding my arms on my chest and frowning. I playfully glared at him. He glared back eventually realised that I was crazy. A fatigued sigh escaped his lips. The man was tired of me already. It was evidently etched on his face. With that he turned around to go to his car and drove away.

I walked up to my place and took off the thick gown as soon as I close the door to my room. When slumber had me in clutched someone had decided to call me. It was an unknown number which I gladly ignored. My phone rung thrice before I gave in and answered the person.

"Hi, Zama"

"And who are you?"

"It's Vuks"

"Oh?"

"I came with your boyfriend. We have a bit of an issue here"

"What is it. Is Nkosana hurt?"

"Well yes and no"

"Huh?"

"He has been throw temper tantrums. He wants to come and see you. And he's... drunk"

"Okay, ngiyeza manje manje" I said as I wore my slippers and left the house. My pyjamas consisted of baby pink long silk trousers and a white vest. I left to go to the elevator where it took about four million light years to finally open. I went down the excruciatingly long wait of seeing Nkosana again. When I reached the parking I saw Nkosana leaning against a white Volvo XC60. As if my body owned itself, I ran up to his open arms and sunk into his embrace. He was very sturdy for a drunk person.

"Sthandwa sami." He whispered into the skin of my neck. His almost squeezed the life out of me but who cared. His hands had begun to roam everywhere but feared forbidden places. His lips, landed on mine, gently nibbling on my lower lip. "Up." He instructed and I did as told. I jumped up and he lifted me up, my legs wrapped themselves around his waist. The kiss grew more passionate, his hands settled on my butt as he have my a gentle squeeze that earned him a moan from me. I pulled out remembering that we had company. Vuks, however had occupied himself, he was bit far from us with his phone pressed against his ear.

I got down from Nkosana who I had to struggle and reason with before he let me down. I went to Vuks who was in the middle of a heated conversation.

"So what am I supposed to do now that your husband is dead. Jump when you tell me to jump?" He hissed at the person.

Damn

"Uh... Vuks" he nervously said.

"Yes, how can I help you?" he replied stiffly.

"I wanted to ask how drunk Nkosana is. Anything I should know maybe."

"Oh, he's just very honest. Prepare for a venting session." He said.

"Who is that Vukile? That's why you're like this. You've met another woman." A female voice shouted from the phone.

"I do not see the need to explain myself to you. Just go and mourn for your husband and leave me out of your little tantrums." He snapped before hanging up. "So when should I feth him" he asked with his mood immediately switching.

"There is no need. He can sleep over and leave when he's sober." I suggested and Vuks hummed at my response before bidding me a good night and leaving.

"Let's go mabhebeza." Nkosana uncanny as he held my hand and led me to my apartment. Our journey to my apartment was filled with him singing maskandi songs.

As soon as I closed the door when we had arrived strong arms pulled me to a large chest. Soft lips on mine. My legs encircled a waist. Everything was so fast, so swift and yet so memorable. He took us both to the couch where my legs say on either side of him. His warm lips explored the depth of my neck. I moaned his name which earned me a tight squeeze on my butt.  His lips devoured mine as his hands roamed my body. Some devil whispered in my ear to grind my hips and all holiness left my body.  I was then carried to my bedroom while still locked in a heated kiss. One would never guess he was drunk from how steadily he held me. I was gently placed onto the bed. Time had begun to slow, to savour every moment. His lips peppered kisses on the nape of my neck. His hardness rubbed against my most sensitive parts.

His warm breath against my skin somehow brought electric waves to my spine. My silk trousers were like a barrier that I desperately needed to get rid of. The heat that radiated off of his hand seeped into my skin, the very same hands that made its way to my clothed wetness. I let out a loud moan as I tightened my hold on him. "Fuck" he hissed before rolling off of me. Did I do something wrong? I gets up to leave for the bathroom. The shower switched on and embarrassment finally creeped. What was I thinking. Where had my rationality left to?

He came back after a few minutes smelling like vanilla and flowers. He only wore boxers with a vest.

"I'm so sorry." He said. I didn't for what but simply nodded at his apology. He walked over to the bed and just looked at me with eyes filled with guilt. I patted the empty space next to me and he complied as he sat on the the bed.

"Let's get some sleep." I said before sleeping with my back turned to him. I heard a bit of shuffling and a heavy arm settled on my waist. He pulled me towards him until I felt as though I had sunk into him. His hand snuck under my vest and caressed my stomach. Its roughness contrasting with the softness of my skin. We said nothing but basked in the presence of each other. Relishing in the opulence of such a rare moment. For about ten minutes we stayed like that.

He turned me around and our eyes locked. The profound depth of those eyes drowned me on some days. Those pitiless orbs that clutched onto my soul were filled with so much love.  I placed my hands on his jaw, my fingers caressed his bearded cheek and then his lips."I really don't trust you but I still love you. I don't think I can ever stop" he mumbled. Betrayal and uncertainty momentarily flickered in his eyes but the love still remained.  I pecked his lips and buried my myself in his embrace. I did not know what tommorrow had in stored for us. What if I  woke up to an empty bed, or he told me it was a mistake. He was drunk and maybe would soon regret the actions of his inebriated state. What if he stayed and ate breakfast. What if we forgot who we were to the world and thought only of who we were to each other. What if for a moment, all that mattered was ourselves. Our feelings for each other surely meant something. But one thing I was sure of is that in all those possibilities—the love would remain. In the labyrinth of it all I hoped that we would find our way to to each other. Even if our love was never enough I knew that  this was the kind of love that can never be replaced, compared or forgotten.

Author's note

Hello guys. How are you this December?

I was so excited to write Zama's POV. It was actually a spontaneous decision. I probably will never do it again. But if you loved it then I'll make a plan. It's so hard. Especially the explicit scene. I'm just a girl😭😭😭😭😭 I didn't how to go about it. I'll probably ask someone to help with these scenes. Anyway, I hope you loved it. I put alot of Ntuthuko in here because I want their story to be well rounded. I want you to know all the characters. Plus I loved Ntuthuko, you'll see a bit of him in the near future. He's easy to write about because he's literally my twin brother. He barely says a full sentence and then there's me😂😂.

Have a wonderful festive season my beautiful readers. I love you all. Please share, vote⭐ and of course read till the end.🫶🏾