CHAPTER 32

My back pained like a bitch. My neck felt as if it had been made of rusted iron rods. I tried to stand and gave up in the process. I blinked my eyes as I faced the ceiling. Rethinking. Regretting. Repeat. I didn't know how long I had fallen asleep on the couch and I didn't know what time it was. without checking the time I stood I slowly in stretched the strained chords of my muscles before going to take a shower. The warm water massaged my whole body. Its steam filling my nostrils. By the time I had left the shower I had come up with a resolve for my predicament which, dear reader was to sleep. To bury my mind into a fictional abyss.

I put on some boxers, which is the equivalent of pyjamas to an average man. I plopped on my bed and once again fell asleep.

******

"Vuks I need you to do something for me"

"I heard that—"

"—I need you to find a way for me to get into Zama's apartment without being seen.", I interrupted.

"What!?"

"What?"

"Nkosana, this is madness"

"Vuks, I pay you to do your job without question and without your personal opinion on the matter."

"This is ridiculous and you know it"

"Can you do the job or do I need to find someone else?"

"It will be ready in two hours."

"Vuks "

"Groot man " he said to trying and piss me off. He usually called me that when he felt like I wasn't listening to him as his friend. I let out a sigh of defeat and hung up.

****

The moon's silver incandescence graciously illuminated the eerie darkness of the night. My leather gloves hands clutched onto the the ladder stuck on the wall. I was two stories up with the rusted and fatigued metal wheezing under my weight.

In my defence; it is not my fault because:

a) I somehow see it as a sign given by the universe because Zama's window is wide open

b) Zama let her brothers lead her to foolishness such as trying to get me arrested

I know worst feeling ever right? Having the love of your life wishing you would spend about twenty five year or more in prison just because she broke up with you. I'm pretty sure that this scenario is absolutely relatable. I maneuvered my way through the window as quietly as I could manage.

Zama lay right on the edge of the bed. In the serene cloak of night her soft soft snores filled the room. She must have been really tired. I was drowned in her sweet scent that by the heavens I believed could attract honey bees. I locked her door in case she wanted to run. I slipped the key into my back pocket and made a mental note to place it back on the lock before I left.

I leaned against the wall and simply enjoyed the view of her plump lips slightly open. Her right arm hung lifelessly  with her leg exposed by the duvet that covered most of her power body. She wore what looked like an oversized shirt but it risen up and reveal about half of her lower back. The mere possibly that she may have been wearing nothing but that shirt made my blood rush to forbidden places. The weather was quite warm but she was careless on her part. Why would you sleep with a window open when you know that you're sexy as hell and you're dressed like that.

She groan and slapped her exposed thigh. She muttered a few incoherent words to herself,—I assume complaining about the mosquito that had bitten her. Her eyes slowly fluttered open. When she had finally taken notice of my hidden frame, she immediately rose up to sit up straight. Her lips released small scream.

"Shh, what has you so frightened?" I lulled her to silence. I stalked to her bed, assessing her every movement. "Tell me ,Zama, what is the reason behind such  panick stricken eyes", I interrogated as I search the depth of her eyes. She looked so terrified. In most cases that would stroke my ego, to know that I wielded the wand of power but to see the one woman you would burn the world for so terrified at the sight of you is the most gut wrenching feeling one could ever experience. My eyes didn't leave hers, I watched as they filled with tears, I saw her lips quivering, I watched the fear waxed away like a crescent moon, I watched it reflecting the pain that lay cradled in my eyes too. "23 Cane street, Montclair police station at exactly 9:46 pm" I monotonously stated. She let out a small gasp as she struggled to keep eye contact. "What were you thinking putting your life in danger like that? I told you to stay out of this." I added. "When I was watching you sleeping, I kept on thinking of how peaceful you looked. I could have killed you—I should have. I couldn't then and I can't now" I gently whispered into her ear whole trailing soft kissed under her ear down to the crook of her neck. I soon devoured her neck, getting lost in the taste of her skin, and the scent of her engulfed all of my senses. She let out a few moans of satisfaction as her hands snaked the back of neck, urging me to carry on.

"Nkosana" she moaned as my hand rested on her naked back under her  oversized shirt. Her bossom flushed against my chest as her hard pebbles begged for my attention.

"Do say my name like that. It fools me into thinking you love me" I confessed with my lips still hovering over her skin.

"But I do. I love you Nkosana."

"Don't say something you don't mean. Don't you understand? My sanity rests in your hands. The mere sight of you has me falling apart. Do you understand the gravitas of the situation you put yourself in. You could have been killed. The moment you opened that case, the docket disappeared and had a target on your back. I was supposed to kill you for that. You've put yourself in so much danger, you're lucky they didn't set a bounty on you. Did you ever think about how your friends or family could have done if something happened to you. Did you take a second to think about me?"

"I'm sorry, I—"

"You're sorry? Sorry feels like another way of saying I am glad to know how shitty you look when I fuck you over.  My world turned upside down for you, Zama" I accused as I stepped away from her so my mind would become a little less addled. "I was supposed to kill your brothers but I had to fall in love with you. When I saw how devastated you were when your father died and how much you loved your brothers knew I would not live with myself if I did that to you. I called off the fucking mission. I fell for my enemie's sister and look where that got me. The worst part is that I don't even fucking hate you." I seethed.

"I didn't mean to hurt you" she sobbed with tears wetting her face.

"So what did you think? The knowledge that the only woman I have ever loved betrays me and sells me off to a life in prison wasn't going to hurt me? When I saw your name on that docket I so desperately wanted to believe it wasn't you. I wanted to believe that you didn't do it or maybe you brothers forced you or used your identity to cover their tracks. Anything would have made me believe that it was never you.", I bore my heart to her. "Why are you crying?"I venomouly seethed as my eyes narrowed. For a few seconds I want he'd her try to speak but her sobbing blocked her speech. I have a sigh of defeat. This woman had a way to disintegrate my anger by just crying. "Zama please stop crying. Zama please. MaNdosi, ngiyakucela, isiyazwela inhliziyo. Ngicela uyeke ukukhala. Sthandwa sami. MaCele." I begged softly with my eyes not being able to look her.

We were disturbed by the ringing of her phone. Alarm immediately flooded her orbs.

"Bhuti"

"Akukho muntu. Kade ngilele, ngivusiwe yilo ucingo."

"Yebo bhuti. Ngiyakuthembisa"

When the call had ended her eyes darted everywhere as pure panic radiated off of her. "Nkosana, you have to leave. I think they're coming here. You have to leave from the back. I'm sure someone notified them that you came in through the window." She said before getting up forgetting she has nothing covering her legs besides her shirt. The shirt didn't cover the whole of her butt cheeks but left a little to the imagination.

She moved swiftly to the door trying to open it until I finally realised that I had locked us in. I took the key out and unlocked the door while I muttered a small apology. A small smile tugged at her lips although she tried to hide it from me. She unlocked the main door and led me to the stairs. Her bare feet slapped against the tiled stair case as we went down.

I know Zama fucked up but I too have my own fuck ups. I think that warrants what I'm about to admit: there was something so damn sexy about a half dressed Zama, holding my hands as she tried to help me escape her brothers. It's stupid and idiotic but in my defence the concept of love is illogical on its own and somehow drives us to do the craziest things and places us in the most oddest situations we never thought we would see ourselves in. I was led into a dark corridor where it ended with a door written 'Emegency exit ' in big bold letters.

"I know what I'm about to say barely has any meaning to you anymore but please be safe." She says after catching her breath. Her hands hold onto mine as her finger trace small patterns on my knuckles. "and" she added as she went up on her tippy toes and almost closes the space between our lips. "I love you", she mumbled before placing a chaste kiss on my lips. Her eyes bore into mine as her hand stroked my bearded cheek.

"This is stupid" I mumbled to myself before latching my lips onto her. Goodness she tasted delicious. Her moaning in my lips sent electric waves from my spine to my toes. She held the back of my head to deepen the kiss. In all my time of knowing Zama, she has never been brave enough to initiate a kiss let alone deepen it. My hands planted themselves on the nape of her neck and the small of her back.  My grip on her tightened as I brought her closer to my bulging member and that earned me a small gasp giving me an opportunity to dominate the kiss once more.

"You should go" she reasoned in between the kiss.  She pulled away and simply looked into my eyes.

"I love you" I said after a final peck on her lips.

I know. Call me a sucker for love. I would not and could not put her in harm's way. Loving is a losing game. The sound of her voice had me changing my resolve for her. You can't just stop loving someone because they betrayed  you plus I would like to think Zama was innocent in all of this. People react to different situations differently. Maybe her reaction was to report me to the police. I don't like to look at her in a bad light. I had my fair share of things I have done. At some point I killed people for a living for goodness sake. Zama left a peck on my cheek before leaving. I went to my car and started the ignition.

My fingers jittered as I drove. When I parked the car I left to carry with work. I still had ten minutes left off of my lunch break so bought food at the cafeteria and ate while I was going to the locker room to get dressed to get back to work. By the time I reached the locker room I was done with my food. Most of my colleagues were already almost done with getting dressed.

"Uphuma kuphi" Sandile playfully questioned. That one is a loud mouth.

"Uhlanganisa'ni nokuthi ngiphuma kuphi" I grumbled.

"Look at that glow, sesiyazi ukuthi uphuma kubani." Skhumbuzo teased with a stupid smug look on his face.

"One would swear you're not married by the way you're always binging on my life" I said as I put on my overalls.

"So kade nenza ini. A little midnight snack to keep you going", Bandile chortled to himself.

"No, you idiot. We didn't... We've never—no, shut up man" I said trying not to blush at the thought. Imagine. Me? Nkosana. Blushing. The woman has me in hooks and cuffs I tell you. The laughter in the room immediately dies down.

"Hayi wena. You're telling you've been suffering from blue balls this whole time?"

"Is can't be ngeke. Ngeke impela ngeke"

"This is why you've been so moody. It's all the salt in your system"

"I bet on my life, you've been getting it elsewhere. I refuse to think you have been celibate"

"I have not been cheating on Zama. I won't rush her"

"Wow. Are you the little man down there still works. Do your little soldiers still know still know their job?"

"Yazi ngizovele ngini zibe ngoba nikhuluma um'sangano" I said as I got up to do my job. All of them immediately laughed hysterically at my situation.

Author's note

Good afternoon my lovely readers. I wrote a little something as a little Christmas gift plus I felt too guilty leaving you in a cliffhanger like that. May your festive season be splendid and blessed. Don't forget to vote ⭐ and share.❤️

I love you.

Lastly, thank you for motivating me as you vote🫶🏾