CHAPTER 23

I drove to Phakama's station and went inside. I called him so he could meet me outside. I put my head on the head rest and closed my eyes while I waited. I hadn't gotten one ounce of sleep and it was taking its toll on me.

"Bhuti" he said with his body already half way in the car. I didn't even hear him open the door. He sat and fastened his seat belt. He looked at me as if expecting to drive.

I started the ignition and drove out and when I was stuck in traffic I turned to ask him where we were head.

"We're going to my house but because of traffic if we don't make it by half past two we might as well just make a U-turn." He said and I just nod in response, "by the way, I'm asking the questions because we both know you owe me that much. So shut the fuck up because I'm the boss in this bitch." He continued with a chest full of confidentiality. I'm pretty sure he got that from a movie. He chortled while his face beamed with excited, "I've been wanting to say that to you for the past two years you know." He added with a psychotic grin plastered on his idiotic face. I glared at him until he remembered that he was a friend adult. He coughed up an apology and straightened himself up.

I ignored him and faced the window while he kept on clearing his throat, hoping to grab my attention. If he wanted to say something he would have spit out by then.

"Why were you at the hospital" he finally gained the courage.

"To meet someone, who was hijacked." I monotonously answered.

"What does that person have to with the Celes?"

"They are siblings." I informed whilst driving. Traffic was a bit clearer by then.

"Change of plans, drive into this kids park. I need to inhale something smokey." He said and I did just that.

"Uyiphoyisa kodwa Phakama ufuna ukubhema ngaphambi kwezingane. Uphilile kodwa Phakama? I thought that was against the law." I reprimanded.(you're a policeman yet you want to smoke infront of children)

"Nkosana, we're in South Africa, relax." He retorted and pulled out a cigarette out of his pocket. "since you know someone from the inside you might as well assassinate that person. You just made my job a whole lot easier you know." He continued while bringing his cigarette to life and took a drag after.

"I can not do that." I muttered. Guilt was staring at me right in the face. Mocking me for falling in love with her. Phakama had to find it withing himself to forgive me somehow. Ignoring her existence was already as impossible as burning an ocean. I can't even imagine aiming at her. I gulped, closed my eyes and took a deep breath to rid myself of those unforgivable thoughts.

"It is a part of the plan, why the hell can't you do it." He challenged with rage coating his tongue.

"Anyone but her. I just can not, I'm truly sorry." I apologized

"What do you mean 'her'? So what, you're going ditch the plan because you're in love. Because of your fucking feelings. What about my feelings, what about what happened to Phakamani and I. Huh? Answer the fucking question!" He venomously spat. I did not look at him. In some way or the other he was right. I was being selfish. He released a hollow chuckle.

"You're so damn selfish you know. Just because you have your little happily ever after you think I'll just abandon the plan to kill my brother's murderers?"

"He was my brother too." I defended.

"You're lying. We both fucking know he wasn't and now that he's dead, you don't give a flying fuck about avenging his death. How fucking stupid of you." He snapped.

All emotion drained from my face. His words left a hollow being, a breathing corpse that stared back at him. He knew not to speak any further.

"I don't give two shit about what situation we find ourselves in in the future but under no circumstance will I accept your tone. I will stab you." I threatened but he wasn't moved. Not one bit. No muscle twitched on his facial features nor his body.

"Are you...are you working for them?" He questioned while placing his left hand, "were you sent to dig some information" he continued slowly. He was making up fake scenarios because he was angry or panicking. A moment later there was a gun pointed at me, held by trembling hands. He was angry but also horrified. Like he could not believe what he was doing. "Answer me damn it!" He yelled.

I didn't say anything, I just blankly stared at him in hopells of his senses coming back.  He swiftly took the gun out safety and pointed it back at me. I tried to pull the gun out of his hands. It was quite embarrassing when I look back on that moment—two grown men fighting over a stupid gun in a kids park. Luckily it was close to empty and I'm pretty sure kids were too stupid to know the difference between a toy gun and a real gun. Most were minding their own business or being stuffed with food by their parents. When the gun was aimed at my foot I noticed his fingers twitch to pull the trigger. It would not have been the first time I would be shot on the foot but still. First or third time, it hurt the same.

As soon as he pulled the trigger I moved my foot and the bullet hit the ground. The gun roared causing the people littered about the park to run around like headless chickens. Screams of children were heard and I knew the next step like the back of my hand. Adults were grabbing their phones with the intention of informing the police. I wouldn't blame them if they did though, it was a kids park for goodness sake. Although I doubt what they wanted would happen, I had connections everywhere and the police would probably take two hours to arrive.

Phakama was not affected by what had just happened. Phakama being the most irrational person found on earth— carried on fighting for the gun. I didn't care about the gun anymore but his career. He wouldn't get fired, I would make sure of that but he definitely would get into trouble. I fisted his collar so he could stand up right and did not hesitate to let my fist collide with his jaw. He stumbled after but still held himself up.

"Get in the fucking car" I growled and for once he used his brain and obeyed.

I got in and waited for him to fix himself up a bit before he sat on the passenger seat and banged the hell out of my door.

Imagine. My BMW X6 being banged by an irrational stupid child.

I carelessly sped to back to his workplace so I could go back home and rest. As soon as I reached the police station, I parked right 8n the middle of the road, not bothering how I might be inconvenience to other drivers. I didn't even switch the engine off to imply that I needed him out of my car as soon as possible. He stayed though, slumped his shoulders and rested his head on the head rest. He stopped sulking like a baby and took a long exhale. He mumbled an apology and, me being the king of stoic faces, I didn't show him how pissed of I was. He turned his face so the he could see my facial expression and decipher whether I had calmed down or not. The only thing one my mine at that point was his bloody face, literally, on my black leather seat. I nodded at the apology but faced the road ahead although the air head didn't get the signal.

"Ngicela ucime i- engine khona sizokhuluma kahle" he said muttered and I didn't reply. I didn't switch the ignition off either. I wanted to test his patients and how much he needed to talk to me, I would only let him if he was desperate. "Bhuti" he pleaded and I switched it off as requested.( Please switch off the ignition so we can talk properly)

"Her name is Zamagcina Nosipho Cele born in 1999 on the 25th of May. Lives in—"

"— I get it, I'm not going to kill her." He interrupted and a fraction of my body relaxed after hearing those words. "So what, you're in love with her?" He added.

"Madly"

"I never thought I'd love to see the day" he teased with a cheeky grin.

"So what, you thought I was gay?"

"No, I thought you were going to be those line wolf type of guys." He said and I honestly didn't understand anything he was saying so I blankly stared at him. "Those die alone, no wife, no kids type of people because they think love make them weak." He elaborated after seeing my confusion.

"It does though, it's a distraction too. Again, I'm really sorry but I just     can't—"

"—It's fine really, as long as you're in love." He interrupted yet again. I could tell he forced himself to say this. "We can abort the plan if you want, I'm sure Muzi wouldn't want us to waste our lives on trying to find who murdered him. Maybe we should just move on and cherish the moments we had with him." He spoke and I nodded in agreement.

"Okay now, get back to work but before that please clean yourself up. The first aid kit is at boot." I said with the effort of changing the topic. He got out the car to get the first aid kit and came back to let me inspect his bruise.

I cleaned him up and gave him a pair of dimmed glasses to hide his bruise to avoid explaining that he almost kill someone because that someone refused to kill someone who is related to his brother's killer. When I was done I walked with  him until we reached the entrance.

"When we both have time you should tell meote about her or let me meet her." He said.

"Usunehaba ke manje That's never going to happen. I don't think we're going to last to that stage. I love her but not to that extent." I said shifting from one foot to another. Assuming that he sensed how uncomfortable the conversation at hand gave he dug deeper.(you're exaggerating)

This is Phakama Myeni we're talking about, he doesn't give a fuck about my comfort level.

"So why are you with her. Kanti how do you feel when you're with her." He said with annoyance and confusion.

"Happy, loved and sometimes reminds me of the little boy in me that I lost. She makes me feel respected, she gives me my space as a man. She lays me provide for and protect her. She also makes me laugh, alot and—" I blushed.

"—wait, What!? You laugh, she makes you laugh? What super power does she possess?" He yelled with disbelief.

Wow. That's the only part he registered.

"Fokof Phakama" I growled with my hands involuntarily tightening up. I turned to go to my car, already fed up with the nonsense that he was saying. Yes, maybe a fraction of what he said was right. To see me laughing was as rare as a red moon but he was clearly exaggerating.

"Come on, Bhuti. It's not like I'm lying and you know it." He called after me. "But jokes aside, Bhuti. You should stop being afraid of falling in love and let your guard down.

"Ever since I found out that she was a Cele I can't help but think of what her brothers did and what I did to her brother six years ago." I confessed.

"Come on, we both know she is not her brothers. She wasn't at the war either so don't even think of blaming her for what happened to Muzi. Youve done so much for us, you deserve to be happy." he advised after that he gave me a  playful punch on my chest and left.

I went back to my car and drove to my house. Not caring about food anymore, I just took a shower and slept. But with my luck, the man upstairs, could never just sit watch me peacefully sleep. The alarm I set or was it my ringing phone, at that moment in time I could not tell the difference. My stretched, snaking around and patting the bed sheets in search of my annoying. By the time I felt it I was already seventy five percent asleep, the remaining twenty five being stolen by my noise making phone. I smacked, poked and swiped random places on my phone in hopes of shutting the up. By the way my face was still buried in my pillow. The room fell into silence again.

Finally.

"Nkosana, Nkosana, are you there?" The phone spoke and I just hummed in response.  "Nkosana, hello?" The caller said again. I was planning on ignoring whoever was calling because I honestly didn't give two shots about whatever they had to say.

"Yini?" I thought I snapped but my voice was to slower and lousier than intended.(what)

"Oh you're sleeping" no shit Sherlock "I'm sorry I just got worried since you said you were going to call me when you arrived at your house"

Zama?

"Muntu wami, asikho isidingo sokuzikhathaza ngezinto ngezinto ezincane. Mina I'm fine, are you fine." I groggily said.(there is no need to worry yourself over small issues)

"Okay I won't worry. Now get yourself some sleep " she instructed

"No, don't go, come back. Tell me about you day so far." I said while grabbing ing the phone and placed it on the pillow I was sleeping on

"No, I know what you're doing and I'm not going to fall for it."

"Hawu, sthandwa sami, bambo lwami, themba lami."

"Nkosana, my voice is not a lullaby."

"But it's so soothing." I tried to convince.

"Fine, but you owe good food" she negotiated. "So today my day was actually really boring although..." As she carried on speaking her voice somehow blurred itself until it became completely silent.

****

"Stop being a creep and just go and see her." Mandla said, breaking my train of thoughts.

I had been carressing a picture of Zama. Sandile bought pizza for us unmarried men who don't have wives to cook them. I only ate two slices before fully focusing on her. It was a picture of her wearing an old leather jacket of mine. She stole it when I told her it had been il two years since I had worn it. That day she took a picture of herself wearing it hoping to spite me.

"Just go and see her." Skhumbuzo encouraged

"It's half past eleven, I'm sure she's sleeping. Plus lunch break is almost over." I said.

"Shono nje ukuthi unegwababa." Sandile jabbed while trying to hold in his laugh which he failed dismally at. I gave him a ln ice cold glare and he kept quiet instantly.( Just admit that you're scared)

"Just go, we'll cover for if you take too long." Ziyanda said from the corner of the room.

Without pondering any further I got up and left to see Zama. I drove with a pit of guilt in my stomach. I was stupid at times and that was one of those times. Imagine being woken up just because a confused man wanted to see you. It forever to look for the remote so I could enter. Each person who renting was given a remote but paid extra to get another one. Zama gave me her extra so I don't always have to call her when I come over.

I parked and went to the elevator and found two men inside. One was stumbling around while the other was on the floor mumbling to himself with his eyes wide open. Drunk or high, I honestly could not tell the difference at that point. As soon as the ding was heard I immediately left the elevator. I went to her apartment and stared at the door.

I knocked once, twice and called her just to make sure she was asleep. Before my knuckles could tap against the door for the last time the door opened.

"Nkosana what are you doing here so late?" She whispered and opened the burgler guard. The metal whimpered as if opening it brought complete agony. She squeezed through the small space she had measured and left it open.

She put her small hands on my neck and pulled me towards her, her lips collided onto mine. After I had over come the shock of the fact that Zama, the embodiment of the word 'shy', had just initiated a kiss, I pulled her closer to me. I let our tongues dance to an unheard song that was only sung by our hearts. I dived deeper into the passionate kiss, letting my hands roam around her body. Not forgetting to limit itself so to not make her feel uncomfortable. Our lips weren't rushed, just slow and passionate, gentle with a bit of nibbing just to tease one another. We were somehow begging time to walk a bit slower, to allow us to have this moment to ourselves. The soft moans she was releasing were behind the reason why my pants had grown so tight.

She softly moaned out my name when I squeezed her waist which I responded to with a groan of frustration. I pull her closer if that was even possible at that point in time, given the fact that I was so sure she could her the drumming of my heart. I wanted her to know how much she affected me. How much she made my skin feel hot and how I feel tongue tied when I see her smile. Like a gift sent from the heavens to bless us mere mortals.

"Zaza, who is that and what are you doing outside at this time of the night." A person spoke out of nowhere. Zama jumped out of my arms out of fright and looked the the direction of where the voice had come from.

A woman stood with her arms folded across her chest. Her body was fully covered including her head. She sternly moved her eyes between Zama and I.

Shit.