Chapter 35.

A surprised frown appeared on director Lee's forehead when two girls unceremoniously barged into her office, still visibly emotional, breathing heavily and their eyes still a little wet.

"Director Lee, I'd like to clarify something. It was me who's responsible, Lisa only confessed because..." Jennie sent Lisa a thankful glance. "Because she wanted to protect me."

Ms. Lee looked at them warily.

"What are you girls up to? This is a serious matter, it's not something to joke about. Now sit down and tell me exactly what happened on Friday night. Imagine that you testify in court: I want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, do you understand?"

Both girls nodded and Jennie spoke:

"We attended the concert in school on Friday and we left for a moment because I wasn't feeling well. Then Lisa and I argued about... something." Jennie blushed a little, but didn't mention Lisa's kiss. "Then I... blacked out. You see Ms. Lee, I have this medical condition, when I get really anxious, I sometimes lose control over my body. It rarely happens, but when it does, I have no control over my actions. That's when I must have gone to the cafeteria, vented my anger and caused all this damage... although to be honest, I don't even remember it."

"Do you have any proof of that? From a doctor?"

"It should be in my file."

"Just give me a moment." Ms. Lee typed the password on her computer. As a school's director, she had access to all students' files, including their medical records. She found Jennie's file and read it, surprised to see how many things were listed there. She saw Jennie's foster family history, how often she changed schools... And it her medical history it indeed stated that she suffered from multiple disorders and one of them were spontaneous blackouts... Ms. Lee looked at Jennie with compassion in her eyes, this poor girl must have been through a lot.

"I'm very sorry to hear that you suffer from it. It must be... a terrible experience."

"It is." Jennie replied faintly. "And Ms. Lee, I'm of course prepared to pay for any damage-"

"That won't be necessary. If it happened during one of your blackouts, I cannot blame you for that. It's not your fault and of course there won't be any punishment."

Both girls looked at her, pleasantly surprised.

"So it seems that we have solved the matter. Of course I will keep it all confidential, don't worry. I'll also make sure that everyone knows that Lisa didn't do it."

"Thank you!" the girls exclaimed at the same time, both relieved.

"Just one last question, I'm very curious about it: why exactly did you take the blame?"

Lisa shifted nervously, touched her hair above her ear and then her eyes turned to Jennie. Ms. Lee couldn't help noticing how much affection was in that look. "Ah, the power of young love." she thought.

"Nevermind. I think I know why." she said and smiled.

***

After barely speaking in the last days, Jennie and Lisa both felt the need to talk, or just to spend some time together. So they didn't return to their class, instead they went outside and sat on the grass, facing each other.

"Are you sure you're not overworking yourself, you look very tired." Jennie broke the silence first.

"Maybe I am a little bit. But I just want to get into this college so much. And besides... I knew I'd go crazy if I kept torturing myself thinking about how things between us got screwed up. So I needed something to take my mind off it."

"Maybe take a day off, recharge your batteries. You need it. Go out with your friends and just have some fun."

"Yeah, you're right, I will." Lisa looked down, suddenly tense. "Jen, I just have to ask this, I hope you understand..." she paused, shyly avoiding Jennie's gaze. "You know everything about my feelings, but I know nothing about yours. How... How do you feel about me? I know it's a long shot, but... do you think that one day you could..." Lisa was too nervous to even finish the sentence. She sighed deeply and after a brief pause she added, whispering in a faint voice: "Do you think that one day you could love me?"

Jennie knew that question would come. And she feared it because she didn't have an answer.

"I'm not sure I know what love even is, Liz." she said in a deeply sad voice. "Tell me, how do you know that what you feel is really love?"

Lisa realized she had never really thought about this before. "I... just know it."

"But how?"

"I mean I... I'd do anything to make you happy."

Jennie silently thanked her with her look. "But you could also say that about your mom, your dad, Jisoo, Rosé... You love them too, right?"

"Of course I do, but what I feel for you is just... different. I'm sorry, I just can't explain it." she paused, gathering her thoughts. "It's definitely stronger and..."

"And?"

"I'm attracted to you, I want to be with you." Lisa's eyes darkened a little as they were floating over Jennie's face. The brunette turned her gaze away, blushing. Lisa just loved how shy Jennie was, her face reddening at the slightest mention of anything even remotely related to sex or desire. "So will you tell me how you feel? Please tell me the truth, Jen, even if you think it may hurt me, okay?"

"I will, I'm just going say everything that's on my mind." Jennie drew a deep breath. "Before I met you the world seemed to be a cold and hostile place, and now... now I'm happy that I'm in it. I'll forever be grateful for that and for many other wonderful things that you did for me. When you're around I feel safe and comfortable and I wish I could spend more time with you. And I care about you a lot, about your future, about your happiness... I care about it all with all my heart, maybe even more than about myself."

Lisa listened to those beautiful words, but couldn't get her hopes up because couldn't help feeling that Jennie's speech wouldn't have a happy ending. The brunette went on:

"You know how Jisoo and Rosé love each other? I think I can feel something similar for you, or maybe I already do. But Liz, about the physical attraction, I just..." Jennie paused, suddenly shy.

"You just don't feel that way." Lisa finished the sentence for her, looking all resigned and disappointed.

"Liz, in all my life I've never experienced anything sexual. Nothing. Not one sensual touch, not one sexual thought. Maybe I'm just an asexual person, I don't know. It's like this entire part of life have never existed inside me."

"Wait, so you've never even felt any desire? When you watch a hot, sensual scene in a movie, you don't feel anything?"

"No. When I see people making out in a movie, for me it's the same as watching two people driving a car or eating dinner. It just doesn't do anything for me."

"I'm so sorry..." Lisa tried to make her gaze as soft and compassionate as possible.

"At least it had been like that until... until you kissed me." Jennie said shyly and Lisa's eyes sparked with hope. "You see Liz, it's possible that my sexuality wasn't absent from me, it was just buried or dormant and you might have awakened it. Or maybe it's just my wishful thinking, I don't know, I'm still very confused about it all. It's still too early to say if my sexuality will ever develop and if I'll ever be able to feel desire. I'm sorry, but right now I just can't... So could we just stay friends for now? I just need more time to understand it, to understand myself."

"Of course, Jen, I'm okay with being friends, take all the time you need." Lisa exclaimed happily, it was much more than she had expected. Because Jennie just gave her hope, a small one, but still a hope that Jennie may reciprocate her feelings in the future. A chance for a happy ending.

"A friendly hug?" she suggested but Jennie made an awkward face.

"Nah, it would be too weird."

"Oh, okay." Lisa hid her disappointment, then saw how Jennie's face was lightened up by a mischievous smile.

"I was just kidding, Liz." she chuckled. "Come here."

She put her arms around Lisa and embraced her, wondering how she could have lived all her life without experiencing the comfort and warmth of hugging a friend.