Chapter 26.

Jennie's finger kept grazing the exact place where Lisa's lips touched hers. Weird, it still emanated with a strangely pleasing sensation with was causing tickling in her entire body. Jennie had to admit that it kind of felt good and was unlike anything she experienced before. Yeah, maybe this kissing thing was not all bad after all.

But then her lips tightened, a frown etched on her face. No, the fact that she liked the kiss itself was no excuse for what Lisa did. Jennie's mind recalled the events of that evening. She had an anxiety attack and just needed comfort. Lisa was there for her and helped her, it was true but... then when she was still vulnerable, Lisa took advantage of the situation and just kissed her without any warning. Jennie wasn't exactly an expert on flirting but she was pretty sure she wasn't giving away any signals. So where did this kiss even come from?

Being a girl who had never experienced the feeling of being loved, Jennie only had one explanation: Lisa was just driven by sexual desire and simply wanted her body. Jennie shuddered, feeling pain originating somewhere near her heart. Damn it, it really hurt!

"She used me..." Jennie thought and the pain intensified. But she didn't cry. During her entire life she got used to people taking advantage of her. She just never expected that Lisa would be like that too... because she seemed different, better than everyone around. Someone who would never betray Jennie's trust. "I guess I was wrong about her. Everyone is the same. The world is just a cruel and sad place." Jennie sighed. With a heavy heart she swallowed two sleeping pills. She knew she wouldn't be able to fall asleep otherwise.

***

As much as Lisa was surprised that Rosé wanted to meet her on Sunday morning, she also felt hopeful. She decided that she'd talk to her best friend about what happened with Jennie and get her opinion on how to sort out this mess. If anyone could help her solving this screwed up situation, it was definitely Rosé. So she was anxiously looking out of the window, waiting for her friend to arrive. When she finally did, Lisa opened the door and could barely contain herself. As soon as they went upstairs to her room, Lisa blurted out:

"I kissed Jennie."

Rosé's reaction wasn't even remotely similar to what Lisa had expected. She didn't even flinch, she just sat on the bed, her face all sad, took her head in her hands and whispered, her voice full of regret and confusion:

"I kissed Jisoo."

"Oh my god, tell me everything!" Lisa immediately understood that her problems must wait. This was huge. More that huge, monumental. Rosé went on:

"Remember how you told us that we should try being a couple? We agreed that it wasn't a good idea but it kind of lingered in the back of our heads. So yesterday we went out to eat, like normal friends... Then I walked her home. And I don't even know how it happened, we just kissed. We love each other so much that we thought that we could forget about our sexuality. But the kiss didn't feel right. It felt awkward, Lisa, extremely awkward... Like kissing your sister or something... I can't believe we did it, I'm scared to death it will ruin our friendship and I just can't lose her, she's my soulmate, my friend, my everything. Lisa, she's my everything..."

Rosé sobbed quietly and Lisa sat beside her, putting her arm around her friend's shoulders.

"Have you two talked about it after?" Lisa asked as softly as possible.

"No, she just left and she was very confused, I could tell. And we haven't talked since."

"Chae, I know you're hurting right now, but I do really believe that everything will be fine. Like you said, you love each other so much that it was worth a try. It was just a kiss... it's not such a big deal. It didn't work out and now you know for sure that you don't love each other romantically."

Lisa handed Rosé a tissue and kept reassuring her:

"It doesn't make your mutual love any less real. On the contrary, if you think about it, it makes it more special. I've never doubted that you two are in love, and if you don't even need physical attraction to feel that way, then what you have is one-in-a-million, pure, platonic love."

Rosé wiped her tears and nodded.

"I'm just scared that I'll never-"

"That you'll never love anyone as strongly as you love her?" Lisa guessed. "It doesn't work like that Chae. The fact that you love Jisoo doesn't make it less likely for you to fall in love with someone else. Love isn't something finite that you have to share. It can just be born out of nowhere. I'm sure one day you'll meet a guy who you'll create that spark inside you and who you'll love in a romantic way."

Lisa caressed her friend's shoulder with her finger. "And let me tell you, it will be one hell of a lucky guy!"

Rosé chuckled through the tears. "Thanks Liz, that was quite a speech, you're so smart."

"I'm afraid I'm not. Quite the opposite, I'm just a stupid idiot." Lisa's face turned sad all of a sudden when she remembered what she had done on Friday. And then she proceeded to tell Rosé about what happened between her and Jennie.

"You really are an idiot." Rosé commented savagely when she heard the story. Lisa already knew as much, but hearing it from a friend still made her even more disappointed with herself. "What the hell Liz, why would you do that? She just recovered from the anxiety attack and you thought it would be a good moment to kiss her? Did she at least give you a hint that she liked you?"

"No." Lisa replied faintly, shaking her head and tears of shame glistened in her eyes.

"Then why?"

Lisa remembered that Jennie asked her the same question after the kiss. And she no longer had the strength to hold back tears, which started to fall from her clouded eyes.

"I know what I did was wrong... But I think... I think I'm... I'm falling in love with her." she stammered out, her words interrupted by dramatic sobbing.

Rosé suspected that Jennie was becoming someone special for Lisa but falling in love? Already? That was quite shocking. She quickly overcame her surprise and took Lisa's hand, comforting her.

"Ah, now I understand. You're not an idiot, you're just in love. Which is very often the same thing. And Jennie should understand that too, but you'll have to tell her the truth." Rosé advised.

"No, I can't-"

"You know you have to."

They looked at each other in silence for awhile.

"I know. Thank you." Lisa finally said and gulped, wondering where the hell she'll find the courage to do that.