TWENTY. Who I Am.

POV - Lillia

“Do you think the fairy medicine will help?” I ask again. Dorian looks at me; I know he doesn’t want to tell me the truth by the expression on his face.

“Only time will tell,” he says. I nod. So the chances are not good. My stomach then rumbles from the lack of food.

“Are you hungry?” Mum asks when my stomach rumbles.

“Yeah. I went to the dining hall but didn’t have a card because I’m new, so they wouldn’t let me in,” I admit. Mum’s face looks sad.

“I’ll take her to get something to eat,” Dorian says.

“Thank you,” Mum replies, smiling at him. He leans down and gives her a quick kiss on the lips before smiling at me and indicating that I follow him.

I follow behind him, but he stops so I can walk beside him.

“You are my daughter, Lillia. Do not walk behind me,” Dorian tells me. I nod and go through the door he opens for me.

“Celsitinem tuam,” guards outside Mum’s door says.

“Takoda, go ahead and make sure a table is available in the dining hall for my daughter and me,” Dorian says. One of the guards, the one with the shoulder-length black hair, nods and runs ahead.

“Why did they call you chelsea-two-dayum two-um?” I ask, trying to pronounce the word correctly.

“It is our title,” Dorian says, not explaining its meaning.

“What does it mean?” I ask. Dorian stops.

“Lillia, celsitinem tuam means your highness,” Dorian answers, turning and heading back in the direction we were walking. I stop and stare at his back as he walks away. What does he mean by his title being ‘your highness?’ is that what fairy clan leaders are called? I thought they were called Dukes and Duchesses…. Yeah, your highness fits. I wonder which clan he is from…

“Lillia, what did I say about walking behind me?” Dorian asks, not stopping.

“Uh, not to?” I reply, running back to him.

Dorian only nods as I return to his side. We return to the dining hall, and the same woman stands by the door.

“Major Greystone, welcome,” the woman smiles.

“Thank you. This is my daughter, Lillia. Please let her in if you see her. I’ll let Alpha Brent know you wouldn’t let her in and have him put her name on the list. He may want to talk to you,” Dorian says, walking away from the stunned woman. I look at her, and she looks down at her feet, embarrassed. I quickly make my way back to my father, Dorian, who walks confidently to a table where I see my grandfather, Alpha Elijah and Olivia.

Olivia has her arm around Elijah, and she is whispering to him, smiling.

“Celsitinem tuam,” my grandfather says, rising from his chair and bowing. Alpha Elijah also stands up and bows. Olivia looks up at us and smiles.

Dorian pulls out a chair for me to sit on, and I thank him.

“Luna Olivia, Alpha Elijah, Alpha Brent,” I greet as I sit.

“Why did you call Olivia Luna?” my grandfather asks. I look at Olivia, who looks smug.

“That’s what she told me to call her….” I begin.

“Oh! Silly girl! I did not! I’m not the Luna yet! I just told her I was your girlfriend, Elijah,” Olivia laughs, cuddling into Elijah. Elijah softly growls and shakes Olivia’s arms away.

“She is not the Luna, and you will not call her such,” my grandfather tells me.

“My apologies, Alpha,” I say, bowing my head at him.

“Lillia, I told you not to call me that. If it makes you uncomfortable, you may call me Brent,” my grandfather tells me.

“I’m sorry… Brent,” I say. I should call him Grandad like he asked, but he’s right. It does make me uncomfortable. I’m not ready for that yet.

“And please, no more bowing or submitting to us. That’s an order,” my grandfather continues. I nod in agreement, and my father pats my shoulder. I look at him, and he smiles at me.

“Elijah, talking about etiquette,” my grandfather says.

“I’m sorry, Alpha; I will talk to her,” he mumbles, his cheeks red. Olivia’s eyes glaze over, her face drops, and she looks like she will cry. She stands up and bows in our direction.

“My apologies chels-tah-day-toom,” she says, looking at the table.

“Thank you, Olivia,” my father smiles.

“Shall we get the woman some food then?” My grandfather asks, looking at Dorian. My father nodded and stood with Elijah and Grandad so he could walk with them to the food counter.

“We will talk later,” Olivia sneers softly, digging her shifted claws into my hand. I whimper as she breaks the skin. Olivia’s demeanour quickly changes, sitting up properly with a fake smile. I pull my hand away and watch as the wounds on my hand slowly fold together again.

I know I’m only seventeen and haven’t got my wolf yet, but my birthday is coming soon, and I see the quick healing I take as a sign that my body is preparing me for my first shift.

Elijah, my grandfather and my father sit back at the table, Elijah with a plate of food for Olivia and Grandad with a plate for me. I notice Olivia watching this exchange, and she gives me a quizzical look as he does so.

We eat quietly. I have roast ham, potatoes and vegetables on my plate, as well as a bread roll with a small slab of butter next to it.

“Your mother’s favourite,” Grandad says when he notices me looking at my plate.

“Oh,” I reply. This differs from the meals Mum and I had at Urban Wolves. The best meals we ate were leftovers from the pack’s restaurant.

“Lillia. You know that you’re named after a flower?” Dorian asks me.

“No. Mum told me she wanted to call me Lilly, but she felt Lillia was prettier,” I admit. Dorian smiles.

“It is a pretty name. Did you know most Fairies name their children after flowers or things in the environment, like Fjord or Cole,” Dorian says. I shake my head. No, I didn’t know that.

“So, you’re a fairy?” Olivia asks, but my father doesn’t respond.

“I wonder what mum would have called my twin,” I murmur.

“Your what?” Grandad burst out loud.

“Your twin?” Dorian asks more softly.

“uh, um, mum lost my twin before I was born. Calla, Mum’s wolf, told me once. It’s why Calla was so weak; she spent a lot of her energy saving me,” I admit softly.

Suddenly a loud crack of lightning shakes the building. The room darkens, and I look out the windows. It has gotten very dark outside. Loud, heavy spots of rain hit the roof and windows, and the wind howls outside as if in pain. I look at the people at the table, worried. Dorian looks angry, whereas Grandad looks guilty. Elijah and Olivia are looking outside the window. It has gotten very quiet inside.

“I’m sorry, you’ll have to excuse me,” Dorian says, putting his cutlery down and leaving the table. I gulp. Did he cause the weather change because of what I said?

People begin to talk again, and I can hear conversations about the sudden change in weather.

“I’m sorry, Lillia,” my grandfather says to me. I just nod.

“I’m actually feeling full. Is it okay if I go to my room?” I ask. Grandad nods.

“It was nice seeing you again, Loo- Olivia. Alpha Elijah,” I say, getting up from the table and leaving the room.

//\\///\\\//\\

I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I don’t know how long I’ve been lying here. The sound of the rain against my window is loud, and flashes of lightning are the only light emanating into my room. We’ve been here only a few days and away from my old pack for almost fourteen.

I don’t know if I’ll get used to being here. It doesn’t feel the same. Some things are similar, like how Olivia treats others, but some are different. The omegas here seem happier here. I thought I was happy at Urban Wolves. It was all I knew. I thought the way we were treated was normal. But the way omegas are treated here is different. And the high-bloods seem to respect the omegas more. That is, except for Olivia.

I don’t know if I can adapt to these changes, though. I knew my place at the Urban Wolves, and I was unsure if I could be anything but an omega. If Mum was the Alpha’s daughter, that makes me what? The next alpha female? The next in line? But isn’t that what Elijah is for?

But I wonder if I could return to life like in Urban Wolves. If Elijah becomes this next packs Alpha, Olivia will be Luna, and I don’t like her. I can’t live with another Luna Cheryl. I can’t do that again.

I’ll have to leave. I can’t be here if Olivia becomes Luna. Mum left. If she can do it, I can too. That’s what I’ll have to do.

I suck in the snot that’s building in my nose and wipe the tears from my face. The storm outside rages on, but I like it. I’ve always enjoyed the rain anyway, as I’ve always found it soothing. Today’s storm is no different. It lulls me into sleep.

//\\///\\\//\\

I’m sitting in my chair at school, listening to the teacher discuss something on the board in front of us, when a sharp ping of pain erupts from my head. I ignore it, not sure what it is, when another ping of pain hits me, followed by giggles. I look around and see Clark giggling with his friends beside him.

I turn back to the teacher, trying to listen, when another sharp pain hits my body. This time Clark’s friend Michael is giggling into his shoulder. I give him a narrow look and try to keep my attention on the teacher. Another sharp ping hits me, and I look around to see what it is. As I turn to look at the floor, I’m pinged again. I see a rubber band and look up, stunned. Another ping hits my cheek, followed by giggles.

“What is going on here?” Mr Turner asks, looking at us students. He scans the room and sees a rubber band in my hand.

“Lillia! What are you doing with a rubber band? Did you get it from my desk?” Mr Turner bellows. I try to answer him, but my mouth opens and closes, and I can’t speak.

“You can stay in at recess!” Mr Turner yells at me.

“But I, I didn’t…. it wasn’t….” I begin, trying to plead my innocence. Mr Turner gives me a look, and I know I need to stop talking.

Tears build in my eyes as Mr Turner tells us we need to copy the work from the board into our books. Another ping of pain hits my neck, but I don’t turn around this time, instead letting the tears fall down my face. There’s nothing I can do, absolutely nothing.

“Lillia! Can you tell me why you were disrupting the class earlier?” Mr Turner asks when everyone is let to go to recess.

“It wasn’t me; Clark and Michael had that thing you know between wood and pinging rubber bands at me!” I complain. I can’t think of what it is. I saw Clark hide under his desk. A sling? A catapult thingy majingy? I can picture it in my head but can’t think of the word for it.

“Lillia. I know you don’t get along with Clark, but you need to ignore his antics. He’s only trying to get your attention and get you in trouble. And it’s working,” Mr Turner grumbles. I nod. Yeah, it is working.

I wipe my eyes as I think of that memory I thought I had hidden. Clark was the golden boy and got away with everything he did to me. I always got in trouble for reacting. I hated it, and I hated him. But I couldn’t do much about it.

~

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