chapter 16

Author's POV... Shiva came back from a Europe trip he went to seal a deal...He saw his wife was sleeping so without waking her up he went to the bathroom and took a shower and came back changing into a T-shirt and tracks...He lay on the bed and hugged her from the back...and kissed her shoulder she smiled at his actions.....  Gowri: Welcome back Husband... Shiva: So you are acting all the while...Gowri: Unfortunately I am a light sleeper not heavy one like you... Even the slight sound wakes me up...Shiva: Are you too tired for midnight talks...Gowri: what about you..... Nee tha daa travel pani vanthuruka.... (it was you who travelled long)Shiva: Na flight laiye thongitein dii...ipo thookam varala..... Are you up for a talk... (I slept on the flight itself di......now I am not sleepy.....are you up for a talk )Gowri: I think I am...... She turned towards him..... He cupped her face and kissed her forehead... Shiva: I missed you diii Chelamma... She smiled at him and snuggled more into him... Her hands were creasing his cheeks while his hands were loosely running on her back........  Shiva : Madam ena miss paneingala.... (Did madam missed me ??)Gowri : unmaiya solava ila...poii solava........ (Do you want me to tell the  truth...or lie )Shiva : Ne solapora poi enaku theriyum so unmaiya solu.... (I know what lie you would say....so tell the truth)Gowri: not really..... Maybe only those times when I have to eat alone and sleep alone in this king-sized bed...Apart from that I am occupied...... didn't had much time to think about you...Shiva: why are you brutally honest like this..... At least poiyachu solalam la. (At least you should have  tried to say a lie for courtesy )Gowri: I can't do that...... I can never say something which I don't mean at all...... I am not a perfect or ideal wife Shiva...... I have too many flaws....just to make anyone feel good only at the moment I won't say something which I don't mean...Yes, that may make them disappointed but... Athu poi nu avangaluku theriyarapo vara hurt inum athigama irukum.... Apo oru vela ithuku munadi sonathum poiya irukumo nu santhegam vara arambikum.... Even though they don't voice out... Athu avangaluku register agidum..... Ovoru muraiyum atha doubt varatha control pana mudiyathu..... That's why Summa formality ku I love you. I miss you lam sola matein.... I only say when I truly mean every word from the bottom of my heart...(when they get to know it is a lie that hurts would be more........that may end up causing doubt that all that person said before might be a lie..... even though they won't voice it out loud ....that doubt will be there then after they can't control it....That's why I don't say I love You and Miss You's for formality or just for the sake of telling.I only say when I truly mean every word from the bottom of my heart......)Shiva: Those little things and reminders matter when both have busy life la...Gowri: yes they do....... But I can't do that...... Even if I try I would fail to do that....... Just leave it... How was your trip... Shiva: Successful tha dii.... More than what I expected..... How was yours...Gowri: As usual... Today  Riya's marriage reception ....... Apart from that everything is the same...... Shiva: special mention kudukura alavuku ena reception la nadanchu..... (What happened in that reception to deserve a place in your special mentions)Gowri: Nothing unusual daa..... She's was arranged marriage avlo tha...(That's it )Shiva : Namalthum tha dii..... (Even our's dii)She glared at him.... Shiva : okay okay.... Apdi oradiya sola mudiyathu but somewhat la.. (we can say completely arranged but somewhat right...)Gowri : ila....(No)Shiva : Right vidu... You continue.... Gowri : You know I too wanted an arrange marriage before meeting you.... Shiva : Ela arrange marriage vena nu soluvanga unakenna diii ipadi oru assai...(Many are against arranged marriages but why you have this strange wish )Gowri  : Not every arrange marriage is worst and forced one da..... There are many who found their soulmates in an arrange marriage itself.... I kind of love that after marriage love story....... That's so spontaneous and smooth..... Shiva : are you sure.... Gowri : Ena daa.... Naa etho nalanji kalyanam pana mari kekura.... Naa ena pakurano atha vachu solren... I may be wrong to... But I wanted that smooth and slow understanding that comes after marriage... Athu nalarukum man.. If both are made for each other and gave them a chance to love and live together..... Antha relationship eh alaga irukum anga nadakura chinna chinna thoduthal kuda alaga irukum..... We didn't get that chance to experience it...... Athukaga intha life pudiklaa nu poi lam solla matein... Because I love this life with you.....Ethana perku avanga love panavangalaiye kalyanam panitu valaa kuduthu vachiruku..... Enaku athu amanjidichu....Still  it's there at some corners in my heart.... (what daa.... you are asking me like I marrried 3-4 times and have experience....I am just saying from what I saw... I may be wrong too..But I wanted that smooth and slow understanding that comes after marriage...That would be nice man.. If both are made for each other and gave them a chance to love and live together.....That relationship itself very beautiful...small gestures and touches to add new kind of feeling and texture to that relationshipWe didn't get that chance to experience it...... I won't say lie that  I don't like this life of mine ... Because I love this life with you.....Not everyone is that much fortunate to marry and live their life with the man she loved .....I am blessed because I got you my love as my husband ..Still it's there at some corners in my heart....)Shiva : athukaga 6 years nama love panathelam erase panita kalyanam panika mudiyum... (just for that...We can't erase those 6 years and get married right...)Gowri : 6 years ethuku mothame erase panitu..... Scratch la irunthu love panalam.... (why 6 years let's erase everything and lets start loving each other from scratch)Shiva : ithenadi vibaritha assai... (why  you have this strange and dangerous wishes dii)Gowri : Ama naa nenacha odane nadanthudum paru.... Summa solrein..... (Yeah just because I said it will happen right.......just saying man)Shiva : okay lets consider the same you asked for is happening... How are you sure that you will fall in love with me again... Athe mari naa en thirumba unaiye love pananum... Nee maranthuta nu vitutu vera pona marriage panikitaa.... (in the same whay ....why should I again fall in love with you only...what if  I married some other girl as you forgot me by then right )Gowri :Athukulam nee layakila daa.... (you are not capable for that da..)Shiva : Etheyyyy(Whatttt)Gowri : Ama unala lam ena vitutu vera pona theda mudiyathu... Naaa irunthalum ilanalum.... Un thalaia en kuda tha kuppa kottanum nu eluthiruku... Same goes for me... Atha matha mudiyathu.... So naa enaiye maranthalum.... Thirumba unaku tha daa viluva.... Don't worry intha life la en torture lam nee anubavichu tha aganum.... (yeah...you can't search for another girl leaving me.....no matter if I am there or not.....your fate is written with mine...same goes for me ....we can't change it....Even if I forget my own self ....I will again fall for you only...Don't worry you have to tollerate my torture in this life time you can't escape from me )Shiva : Saringa madam...... He said  hovering over her and burying his head in her neck....  They both laughed at that..... Without knowing that will become real...... Shiva chuckled remembering that conversation..... Gowri saw him with curious eyes.... This was the first time she saw him like this.... She was curious to know the reason behind it...... Sensing her gaze at him... He saw her... Shiva : Onum ila ghaa... Some old memories surfaced.... (Nothing gha)Gowri : ohhhh.... She just nodded and went back to the silent mode.... Rudra and Karthik took thier leave from the airport itself... So it's Shiva , Gowri and Little Mynthu.... Shiva was sure that his Daughter got this trait from him.... Because she was a heavy sleeper like him... That made him realize that there is lot more he have to know about his daughter and his Wife to... Who is absolutely clueless about them... Suddenly Shiva stopped the car in between the way..... Gowri : what happened  gha.... Shiva : I forgot to tell you something.... She looked at him like asking what.... Shiva : We are going to my house.... Where both your parents and mine are waiting for you and Mynthu... Even though appa and mama let them know about your situation... Still we can't control thier eagerness and excitement... They love Gowri more and she was thier favorite...... She was the queen in both houses of hers and mine ... Not the arrogant and spoiled one... Instead the responsible and Strong Queen.... As you know you have a sister to.... But I am a single child... So Gowri is both daughter and daughter in law for my parents.. Gowri : hmmmmShiva : Please adjust panikonga....ivlo nal Gowri uyiroda ila nu nenachutu vanthavanga....... Ipo thirunba nenga varathu avangaluku overwhelming ah irukum... They won't make you feel uncomfortable.... Apdi thonuchuna odane solunga please..... Unga comfort tha engaluku mukiyam.... Konjam konjama you will get used to them and their love..... I hope you already seen their photos available on internet...still I want to show you again... Anga poi confuse aga kudathula....(please try to adjust gha....they all lived all these years accepting that Gowri is no more....the news of her returning would be overwhelming for them.....they won't make you uncomfortable....if you felt like that please do let us know gha.....Your comfort is most important for us......slowly you will get used to their love. I hope you already seen their photos available on internet...still I want to show you again....you should not be confused  there right....)He showed her his phone and explained her about her relationship and the kind of equation and both she had with that person.... He was very patiently explained everything... While she grasped all... She was overwhelmed and excited  too... Because she never thought she would have lived a life like that with that aura.... She was more eager to know her own self...but only through him.... She felt envy about her own past self by seeing the admiration he had for his Gowri and the shine is his and that smile he had while talking about her..... Actually now... Nothing enters in her ears that he was speaking... She was just admiring the man beside her........ Sensing her gaze he stopped making her come out of her trace..... She was embarrassed about her own acts....... She looked all the places except him... He smiled at that...as he knows why she was doing that....that actually made him happy.... Shiva : I know.... It kind of awkward to getting know about your own self through other person... But we couldn't help it... Gowri : I can understand... I can never be your Gowri again......antha edathala enala pudika mudiyathu nu enaku puriyuthu.......Nenga vera yaro oruthara pathi enaku solra mari feel aguthu.....Enaku than ela maranthuduchu ana ungaluku na Gowri thane....maranthu ponalum I can feel the difference in the way you treating me...like a third person....(I can understand ....I can never be your Gowri again....I understand I can't fill her shoes....it feels like you are explaining about someone else....you speaks like I am a third person....its me who forgot about everything....still I can feel that you are treating me differently )I know it's tough for you to accept me like this...... After knowing that my memories are never going to come back.... I accepted that......... We can't change the fact that Gowri is me....... Shiva : Sorry..... It's kind of awkward and new for me too gha.... Unmaiya solanumna.... Nenga enaku ipo full stranger mari feel aguthu.... en Gowri kita thana vara urimai.. Unga kita enala katta mudila..... She was someone who knows me inside out.... Vanga ponga nulam ava pesi ketathe ila...... She was never a silent one like you.... Trust me I am blank ungala epadi approach pananumne enaku suthama idea ila gha...Ungaluku puriyuthu la naa ena sola varen nu...... Please understood nu mattum solunga... Enaku inum evlo frank ah solrathunu sathiyama therila........ (Sorry..... It's kind of awkward and new for me too gha....That's the truth.....I fell like you are complete stranger to me ....That belongingness and rights I feel over my Gowri is spontaneous....but I couldn't show that closeness with youShe was someone who knows me inside out.... I never heard her giving respect like this using gha and all.... She was never a silent one like you....Trust me I am blank I have zero idea how to approach you gha...are you getting what I am trying to say.......... Please say understood gha.....I don't know how to be even more frank with it..........)She chuckled at his ramblings.... Gowri : I never thought this kind of situation will come in my life........ I have no idea about my own self.... Shiva : I wish to disagree... Gowri : huh...... Why... Shiva : Because Gowri thinks like this...........trust me... Intha mari oru situation varum... She would forget everything and start from the scratch nu avale soliruka.... (Because Gowri Thinks like this...trust me ....she once said this kind of situation will come when she would forget everything and we will start from scratch )Gowri : That's crazy.... Shiva: That she is... I ... I.. Mean.. You are.... He shuttered creasing his nape.... That made her laugh at his flushed face.... Soon he to joined her... The atmosphere inside the car and between them felt light.... Mynthu still asleep...she was sound sleeper for sure..........Then  he started the car to reach his home....