The Rivals

MAX

I braced myself for another round of punches after my last confession. Instead, she just tossed me out of the room.

At least I didn’t have to worry about her wolf hurting her. They were both pissed at me now.

The real issue was that I had to disturb the alpha, right before midnight. He told me her shouting had echoed throughout the pack, so he’d prepared a room for me. Just in case.

It was the one next to Estella’s.

He was a considerate guy. I’ll give him that.

I didn’t sleep a wink that night. No surprise there.

I spent the night on the balcony, mostly stargazing.

Estella stepped out onto her balcony at some point, but as soon as she saw me, she retreated back inside, leaving the balcony door open.

If I stretched, I could catch a glimpse of her silhouette as she sat on a chair, staring out at the sky.

I perched myself on the railing and started talking.

“You have every right to be mad at me. I get that you probably hate me right now. And you should.

“Your wolf still loves me, but you’re not sure how you feel. I don’t expect things to be fixed between us overnight.”

I paused.

“I messed up with you, and I know sorry isn’t enough, no matter how much I mean it.

“I always had your best interests at heart, but I won’t lie and say that my fears didn’t hold me back.

“I wanted to be your choice. Not the Moon Goddess’s, not your wolf’s. Yours. That hasn’t changed.”

I paused again.

“I still want you to choose me, not because you have to but because you still love me. I can wait for as long as it takes for you to make up your mind.

“I won’t leave you again unless you decide that’s what you really want. We’ll do the rejection ritual properly, and you’ll be free to go.”

There was complete silence on her end, but I could feel something shifting just a little.

“But I want to make it clear that if you choose to accept me, it will be on your own terms. Not because I messed up. I thought about this a long time ago.

“All I want is to know that I haven’t really lost you. If you want me to mark you, I will, and we’ll face your shifting together.

“I’ll find a way to make it less painful for you. But if you don’t want to become like me, I’ll become like you.”

That got a small reaction out of her. She didn’t say anything, but she sat up straight in her chair.

“I know our wolves won’t like this, but if you want to stay human, I’m willing to live as a human with you.

“Whatever you want, darling. Whenever you want. I’m not asking you to decide now, or tomorrow, or next week.

“Right now, what’s important is for you to recover and feel strong and safe again. I can wait. I just don’t want you to feel pressured.

“That’s why I’m telling you all this. I want you to know where I stand, and it’s right beside you.”

I stopped. I’d said my piece, and I just sat there waiting—or rather, hoping—that she would acknowledge me somehow.

“Goodnight, Max,” she whispered at last, and my heart fluttered.

ESTELLA

I didn’t sleep. Not before he spoke to me or after.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t tired. I was exhausted. But I was also restless.

Everything was so damn confusing inside me.

I have a wolf.

A wolf who’s hurting me when she should be on my side. She’s been punishing me for something I didn’t even do. How is that fair?

I don’t even know how to talk to her yet. Can she hear my thoughts? Because she definitely picks up on my feelings, and I think I’m starting to understand her a little too.

For example, she was furious about Max’s betrayal, so she didn’t hurt me at all last night after I kicked him out of the room.

Then, while he was talking to me from the balcony, she was mostly calm, and so was I.

But when he mentioned becoming human to be with me, I felt a warmth in my heart, but she growled in my head.

She wasn’t happy with that idea, I guess.

But to me, it was the reason I opened the door for him to enter my room the next morning. I’m far from forgiving him. Maybe very far.

I understand his reasons and his fears and everything, but I’ve been through a lot because of him.

It’s hard to swallow that he knew we were meant to be together, and he let me… he almost let me die, among other things.

He didn’t know about most of it, but that doesn’t change the facts.

“You didn’t sleep, darling,” he said as soon as he saw me.

“Did you?” I raised an eyebrow.

“No, but you need to rest, Estella. You need to get your strength back.”

“So, you’ll feel less guilty about it?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of that guilt.”

“Dramatic, aren’t you?”

“I’d call it honest.”

“Selectively honest,” I corrected him.

“Darling…” He sighed.

“I haven’t forgiven you, Max. Live with it.”

“I will. What do you want to do today?”

“I don’t know. I think I’ll stay in bed.”

“Okay, you can rest this morning, and then we can go out to the garden. The luna gave us special permission.”

“We’ll see about that,” I said, lying back down on the bed. “They brought a new change of clothes for you.”

“That’s great.” He smiled. “I think I’m going to take a shower. Do you want to go first?”

“No, I’m good,” I whispered, my eyes fluttering shut.

When I opened them again, Max was fresh from the shower, a towel slung low around his waist. I sat up, taking him in.

His hair was starting to gray at the temples, and it was longer than he usually kept it. He looked thinner than I remembered, and there was a nasty burn on his chest.

Like a battle scar or something.

“Where’d you get that burn?” I asked.

“You sure you want to know?”

“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t.”

“You did ask. I got it the night I tried to betray you with Delta,” he said.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

“You asked, sweetheart.”

“I don’t believe you.” I shrugged.

“Why?”

“If you got a burn for every woman you cheated on me with, you’d be covered in them, Max.”

“We hadn’t slept together, so apart from my guilt, nothing happened to me with the other women.”

“But it happened to me.”

“Yes, it did,” he mumbled, biting his lip.

“So, why now? I mean the burn.”

“After we mated, even without marking you, it was impossible for me to be with anybody else. Everything in me protested because it was wrong.

“I don’t know if I would have done every other thing differently, but if there is one thing I wish I could undo, it is this. I don’t care if you believe me because I know I’m not lying.”

I held back the urge to tell him I didn’t believe him and asked something else instead.

“Did it hurt? Because if it happened in the night, I think it did… It was excruciating for me.”

His expression twisted, and I knew I was right. It happened that night.

“It wasn’t the pain for me, although it was intense,” he said. “I couldn’t bear it that I almost betrayed you. I never touched her or any other woman again.”

I didn’t respond.

“I looked for you,” he said. “Many times. I went to every place I thought I could find you, and your uncle filed a missing person’s report.”

“He did?”

“Of course. He’s been worried sick since you left, and I should have called him that I found you, but with everything that happened…”

“When you do, I want to speak to him. It will calm him down.”

“Okay.”

“Will you get dressed now?” I asked.

It came out a little harsher than I intended, but there was a continuous purr in my head, which meant I wasn’t the only one appreciating the view.

But, I was the only one still holding a grudge because, apparently, my little beast was more forgiving as she was drooling at the sight of him half naked.

“Does it bother you seeing me like this, sweetheart?” He smirked.

“Yes, it bothers me. I get granny hair, and you get the sexy burn,” I snorted. “How is that fair?”

“You find it sexy?” he asked, surprised, but the smirk stayed on somehow.

“Who wouldn’t?” I shrugged, averting my eyes, my arms still crossed over my chest. “It could easily pass as a battle scar.”

“Can’t we just call it that?”

He took a few steps closer.

“Why don’t we call it what it is?” I shot back. “A cheating mark?”

“No real cheating happened, though.”

A few more steps in my direction.

“Did you kiss her?”

That stopped him.

“It was nothing like ours.”

“So, you kissed her,” I hissed, bolting up.

“I regret it.”

“But you kissed her.”

“I did, okay?” he shouted almost to my face. “I thought you had left me and had already replaced me with some human like you.

“I was drunk, and the thought that someone else was touching you was unbearable.”

“So you drowned your pain with her,” I mocked. “Or rather in her.”

“I tried to, yes. But I don’t want anybody else but you, and I won’t stop repeating this until you forgive me.”

“I won’t forgive you,” I spat, jabbing at his chest. “If your wolf hadn’t stopped you, you would have slept with her as you did with the others before her.”

“No. I wouldn’t have slept with her anyway.”

“Lies. You can’t seem to stop spewing them.”

“I’m not lying,” he growled.

A flash of silver in his eyes was the last thing I saw before he kissed me.

Everything inside me melted in a sweet heat.

No, there was no forgiveness. Not yet. But I had missed him, and I needed him, and that kiss was a preview of what could be if there were no lies between us.

So, I took it and kissed him back as fervently as he did, and I let him take my clothes off while I unwrapped the towel he had on.

My wolf was blissful. I was mixed up—the pain and the desire, the love, and the betrayal.

This was not a kiss-and-make-up thing because what had happened couldn’t be solved like this, and I had to let him know.

“This doesn’t fix anything,” I breathed angrily as I pulled him into me.

“I know, sweetheart,” he murmured on my lips, nipping softly. “But we will fix it. I swear.”

I believed him. Just this once.

MAX

The only regret I had for sleeping with Estella after so long was that I would have to leave her side.

It was the last thing I wanted to do, but it had to be done. I had to plan our return. I let the alpha know that we would leave the day after tomorrow.

I also called home because the mind-link doesn’t work this far. My mother broke down in tears, and Eva squealed in delight and promised to let Cal and Sarah know.

I decided to call Bonnie first, leaving Julian for later, after Estella was awake. I hadn’t forgotten her wish to speak with him herself.

As I was leaving the alpha’s office, I ran into Eric.

“The alpha mentioned you and the human are leaving,” he said.

“Her name is Estella.”

“I don’t care,” he scoffed.

“Well, I do.”

“Yeah, we all saw that. You didn’t even tell her she was your mate all those years she lived near you.”

“You’re the last person who has any right to judge me,” I growled. “You started all this.”

“Don’t blame your screw-ups on me, Kinsky.”

“If you hadn’t been stuck in the past, refusing to accept Delta as your mate after you marked her, she wouldn’t have gone and tried to ruin my life.”

“She wouldn’t have any power over your life if you’d been honest with the human.”

“She wouldn’t have any place in my life if you hadn’t rejected her and blamed me for it.”

“You were to blame for it,” he hissed.

“We weren’t even eighteen yet,” I reminded him. “How was I supposed to know whose mate she was, and why should I care? Did you care when you slept around?”

“I didn’t sleep around, Kinsky. Not all of us are womanizers like you. I waited for my mate.”

“And if you had found her at forty, would you have stayed celibate until then?” I mocked.

“What I’d do is none of your business.”

“You can go to hell for all I care, Bane, and Delta can follow you there so you two can keep tormenting each other.

“Just stay away from Estella and me. I never want to see either of you again. Tell her that when you see her.”

ESTELLA

It was the day before we were set to return home when Delta came to see me.

I was in the garden, soaking up the sun, while Max was busy arranging some details. He didn’t tell me, but I had a hunch he was planning some sort of welcome home party with the others.

My uncle, for one, was bound to go all out like always. Hearing his voice and my aunt’s too was… I had to fight back tears because I missed them so much.

I was grateful Max had let the others know while I was asleep, or I wouldn’t have been able to handle it.

As I said, nothing was resolved after we slept together, and I hate the fear that grips my heart when he walks away from me.

Is it me who needs him so desperately, or is it the wolf I must come to terms with living within me?

I have no idea, and the uncertainty drives me crazy sometimes.

But I know that I feel stronger when he is near. When he hugs me, kisses my forehead, feeds me… and it’s only been a couple of days.

I am quite dependent on him for now, or rather my wolf is.

I know he would be angry at Delta’s presence here, maybe as much as my beast is about it if the growl that escapes my mouth is any indication of her emotions.

Yet, I don’t mind seeing her. She is not my favorite person in the world, and maybe she never will be, but it would be nice to have an honest chat with her for once.

She can’t even bear to look at me properly. It’s the hair, I guess. I find the sight of it a bit unsettling myself.

Nope. I’m lying. I hate my hair. So much so that I avoid looking in the mirror altogether.

“You look better,” she said softly as she sat across from me.

She was careful not to touch me because she knew my wolf would likely flinch, if not attack, that is.

“Does it make you feel less guilty?” I asked.

Yeah, maybe I wasn’t completely forgiving, either. Can you blame me?

“It does. Despite what it seems, I’m not a vindictive person, Estella. Except when it comes to Eric. He’s the source of all evil for me, and I for him.”

“What happened between you?”

“What Max said, basically.” She sighed. “I wasn’t a virgin when we discovered we were mated.”

“You had slept with Max?” I asked.

“Yes.” She nodded and quickly added, “But it wasn’t serious for either of us. Max slept around a lot back then, and I thought it wasn’t bad to have some experience before I found my mate.

“I mean, we never know when that will happen. It could be years after we turn eighteen.”

I nodded, thinking about Rohan. Had Max called him as well?

“Eric didn’t like that?”

“No, he didn’t. But the pull was strong, and he marked me against his better judgment, as he told me.

“To fix that mistake, he rejected me on the spot and after the mating was completed. I never accepted it.”

“Why?”

“Because it was unfair and cruel,” she growled. “He knew that with what he did, we would both hurt. There are no second chances.

“I don’t know how Max got his with you, but it’s not something common for non-alphas.”

“Why did you choose Max? Why didn’t you choose someone who had no second chance, just like you?”

“It was easy.” She shrugged. “He was there after my breakdown. He consoled me and advised me. I never listened to him despite knowing he was right.

“He is a very good man, and conveniently, he didn’t care about finding his mate.”

“But he did find me.”

“Yes, and I thought I had lost my only chance. But you came back when I was home alone, and I had to act fast.”

“That you did,” I mumbled. “And you made him cheat on me with you.”

“He didn’t,” she replied immediately. “I swear. I tried, yes, because if he marked me, both my bond with Eric and his with you would break.

“But he loved you so much, he couldn’t go through with it. He was in agony that night. Actually, he’s been in agony ever since you left.

“He quit his medical practice and turned to alcohol. When he wasn’t drowning his sorrows, he was out looking for you. He never gave up on you, Estella.”

Could I trust her words?

Yes. She had nothing to lose or gain, so honesty was her only option.

“When I found you here, I…”

“You felt guilty?” I laughed bitterly.

“Yes. Deceiving you wasn’t as easy as I’d imagined, but seeing you… knowing that I was the cause of your state… I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I am truly sorry for what I did.

“That’s why, as soon as I left here, I went to find Max and persuaded him to come with me.”

“Your apology doesn’t hold much weight, Delta. If you’d achieved your goal, you wouldn’t feel a shred of guilt.”

“I can’t argue with that.” She lowered her gaze in shame. “But, a part of me is relieved that I didn’t succeed. Max and I were never meant to be.

“Neither of us would have been happy, and the way he looked at you when you two were reunited… that look that said you were his entire world… I would never receive that from him.”

“You knew that already, didn’t you?” I spat. “You knew, and you went ahead anyway. You didn’t care about him, and you certainly didn’t care about me. I was just collateral damage to you.”

“I never thought humans could form such profound bonds,” Delta murmured sadly, still avoiding my gaze.

I let out a hollow laugh.

“Like you would understand anything about humans,” I scoffed. “We form bonds just as strong and deep as you do.

“We can love so intensely that life without our loved one can become unbearable. The only difference between you and us is that we choose to love like this, while for you, it’s the only way to love.

“When I was old enough to understand my feelings for Max, I had the choice to ignore them. I didn’t know he was my mate.

“I let my love for him grow and embed itself in my soul, fully aware that one day his soulmate would come and take him away from me.

“Until you understand how hard that is, you know nothing about love or humans.”