A Paris

ESTELLA

“So, how’s the apartment treating you, sweetheart?” Uncle Julian’s voice echoed through the phone.

I glanced around, chuckling at the sight. This place was anything but small. It was spacious enough for a family of four, with room to spare for a few guests.

A sprawling kitchen, two bathrooms, and a study. And let’s not forget the breathtaking view.

Waking up to the sight of the Eiffel Tower every morning? Priceless.

“Uncle, your idea of small is seriously skewed,” I replied, keeping my tone light. “This place has more rooms than I can possibly keep clean.”

“Who said anything about you cleaning? I’ve arranged for a lady to come and tidy up twice a week.”

“What?” I gasped, my jaw dropping, though he couldn’t see my reaction.

“Do you need her more often? I can certainly make that happen.”

“Uncle, the whole point of studying abroad was to live like other students my age.”

“Uh-huh,” he responded, clearly missing my point.

“That means living alone in a one-person apartment and cleaning up after myself. Basically, I’m supposed to be independent,” I explained, trying to keep my patience.

“Sweetheart, I’ve lived the student life you’re talking about. Trust me, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

“And since I can afford to give you the best, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. It’s no different than what I did for my own kids.”

“If I remember right, you didn’t buy each of them an apartment.”

“I would have, but they chose to live together.”

“You can’t keep spoiling me like this. The summer trip was more than enough. You didn’t need to buy me this place.”

“Don’t you like it?”

“I do, but…”

“Then hush,” he commanded.

“Let me talk to Aunt Lydia.” I sighed.

“I tried to reason with him,” my aunt said as soon as she picked up the phone.

“I know you did.”

“But, the apartment is gorgeous. I’ve seen the pictures.”

“It’s definitely gorgeous. But I would have been just as happy with a smaller one. I didn’t come here expecting a luxury mini-mansion to follow me to Paris.

“I came to test my own strength, not to live like a spoiled princess.”

“Honey, I get it. But everything your uncle does, he does out of love. And I love you too.

“The way I see it, you’re just lucky to have more options than most people. Whether you use them or not is your choice. If you want me to cancel the cleaning lady…”

“And be the reason someone loses their job? No. But tell Uncle to cut my allowance in half. If it’s not enough, I can get a part-time job.”

“Estella,” my aunt began hesitantly, but I cut her off.

“Aunt, I don’t care if Uncle gets upset. I’m an adult now. I let him buy me a house and pay for my education. That’s more than enough.”

“The money for your education was left by your parents,” she corrected me.

“True, but the house was all Uncle Julian.”

“Right.”

“I appreciate it, I really do. I just wish it was something more modest and manageable,” I explained.

After a few more minutes, we ended the call, and I was left alone in my absurdly empty house. I’m not talking about furniture, of course, because it was fully furnished.

It was stunning but way too big for one person, or even two, as I’d mentioned before.

I’d already decided to find a roommate. If I could find someone I liked, that is.

Next week, I’d start at the university. Part of me was excited. But, as you’ve probably gathered by now, I didn’t come here to get a head start.

The day we were supposed to return from Greece, I booked a flight to Paris. I knew about the apartment my uncle had bought, and I claimed I couldn’t wait to see it.

So, we returned from Greece, and the next morning, I was off to Paris.

I’d initially planned to go straight there from Greece, as it was closer, but I felt I needed to say goodbye to everyone.

Well, everyone except Max.

I’d promised myself that by the end of the trip, I’d have my answer, but all I got was more confusion.

There are two ways to deal with emotional confusion. One is to dive deeper into it. The other is to simplify things.

I chose the latter.

I’m still in love with Max. I think he’s in love with me too. I felt it that night, and I know he loves me in his own way.

But whatever’s holding him back from being with me is ridiculous, and since he’s not willing to fight for me, I’m done fighting for him.

I’m eighteen, studying in a beautiful city, and I have my whole life ahead of me.

I can’t keep pining for Max forever. So, I see the distance between us as a good thing.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll meet a charming French guy who’ll sweep me off my feet.

So, to circle back to my earlier point, I didn’t say goodbye to Max. Honestly, I couldn’t bring myself to see him, and he didn’t make an effort to see me either. But he did text me to ask if I had a good trip.

I didn’t respond. I just didn’t feel like it.

But what I do feel like is finding a roommate. I won’t let just anyone live here, but being alone in an apartment this big is ridiculous.

Since I’m aiming for semi-independence, I could rent out a room at a low price to someone I like. That way, I’d have a small income, and I could help another student.

Sounds like a plan to me.

MAX

It hurts. The silence between us. Her silence.

But, as my mom, dad, alpha, and luna never tire of reminding me, it’s all on me. Like I didn’t already know that.

Still, as crazy as it sounds, I don’t regret keeping my secret. My only regret is that I couldn’t control myself, and because of that, I ended up causing her pain.

I could have spilled everything that night. I almost did, and I wanted to chase after her so badly, but…

Despite all the signs she gave me, I was still scared that it was her young, impressionable self that was in love with me.

She was human, after all. She couldn’t feel our bond the way I could.

I’m talking about the mate bond. Because there’s no denying that we’ve formed another kind of bond over the years we’ve known each other.

But, the connection we share as mates is lost on her because we’re different species. Even if she had to live the rest of her life without me, it wouldn’t kill her (which is a good thing). But for me…

I’m not trying to belittle her feelings. I have no doubt about her love, only about its longevity. Maybe, her crush on me will turn into a kind of sisterly love.

Oh, Goddess! I can’t even bear to think about that. Not that it would be totally undeserved, to be honest.

I went to Paris, you know. Twice. To check on her. I didn’t stay more than a few hours, and she didn’t know I was there.

When she didn’t answer my text, I booked the first flight I could. Impulsive, I know, but I needed to see her, even from a distance.

Seeing the light in her apartment made me smile. I was about to leave when I saw her leave the building and head to the nearby bakery.

She looked like she’d always lived there.

Paris suited my girl, and I knew she would have a great life there. Without me. Probably with someone else, someone not as cowardly as me.

The second time was about a month later. I had stopped texting her after the first week since she never responded, but I was desperate to see her.

It wasn’t even the longest time I had gone without seeing her, but we weren’t on such bad terms all the other times.

I had learned her university schedule from her aunt. Julian had been cold to me lately because he suspected something had happened between Estella and me during our vacation.

I’m guessing he didn’t know the full story. If he did, I would have been in for worse.

So, once again, I flew to Paris and went straight to where she was.

I got there just as she was leaving. She wasn’t alone; a group of people was with her. Boys and girls. She looked happy.

I wanted to go to her, pull her into my arms, and hold her tight, but I had confused her enough.

I need to let her go. If I hadn’t messed up our relationship beyond repair, maybe she would have come back to me.

ESTELLA

I’ve been here for three months already, and everything has been amazing.

I know that a lot of kids who go to a foreign country or even just another city can get really homesick and depressed. But not me.

I miss my family and my friends, but how can I be homesick when I talk to them every day and when Caleb and Sarah showed up here out of the blue about a month ago?

After they scolded me for missing their alpha appointment ceremony, they started arguing again. About what, you ask?

Well, leadership. They’re both super competitive, and they had a huge fight when Sarah announced that she wouldn’t act as a luna but as an alpha, completely equal to Caleb.

My traditional friend wasn’t thrilled about sharing his alpha duties, pointing out that a luna’s role was different.

Just to give you an idea of what went down (and yes, I will keep changing the subject to less important matters, thank you very much), here are some of the things they said while I was on speaker.

Caleb: “Where have you heard of two alphas ruling together, huh?”

Sarah: “It’s not uncommon when there are twins or really large territories.”

Caleb: “We’re not twins.”

Sarah: “No, but we will have two packs to run.”

Caleb: “I can handle it.”

Sarah: “And what the hell am I supposed to do? Sit there, looking pretty while breastfeeding pups?”

Caleb: “That’s not all lunas do.”

Sarah: “Then I can be the alpha, and you can be my luna. How about that?”

After that, everything went downhill, and I lost track of the snarky comments they were throwing at each other.

When they remembered they still had me on the line and asked me what I thought, I was starting to get a headache.

So, I told them to figure it out themselves and hung up.

Bitchy? Yes. But if you knew those two, you’d understand that anything I said would be used against me, and I wasn’t in the mood for that.

But, no worries. They picked up their argument when they came to visit me. Lucky me. But now that I was on my turf, I didn’t hold back.

“Enough, you two!” I yelled. “Sarah, your smart mouth isn’t going to get you what you want, and Caleb, stop living in the past. Not all women are submissive and domestic by nature.

“Instead of trying to tame your mate, you should let her help you with her gifts. You have two large packs to run. You’re a power couple, guys.

“Stop being dumb and worrying about who has more authority.”

They both looked at me like scolded toddlers, but at least I got my point across, and by the end of their visit, they had figured out a plan for how to rule together peacefully.

Just between us, I don’t think it will be smooth sailing, given that they’re both hot-headed, but they’ll manage.

Despite it all, we had a blast for the duration of their visit.

One night, after Caleb had turned in early, Sarah asked me about Max. I finally spilled the beans about everything that had transpired between us.

I felt a weight lift off my shoulders after sharing my secret.

“Listen, I’ve always believed you two are a perfect match,” she said.

“And don’t even start about him having a mate. I can’t imagine Max with anyone but you, regardless of our beliefs.”

“And your point is?” I sighed.

“You did the right thing by giving him the cold shoulder. He didn’t treat you well. But, honey, he’s been down in the dumps since you left.”

“And whose fault is that? He gave up on me. He pushed me away.”

“I’m not sure he did.”

“Sarah, don’t make excuses for him.”

“I’m not!” she protested. “He’s acted like a total ass, but I can’t deny that I see where he’s coming from.”

“I didn’t realize you were so empathetic.” I scoffed.

“Hey, don’t be like that, Estella. You know I’m the last person to be sensitive about others’ feelings. But Max is in a unique situation.

“You have to understand that. Even if you disregard the fact that he’s a werewolf and you’re human, you can’t ignore the age gap.”

“What a load of crap,” I snorted.

Age gap? Twelve years isn’t a big deal. He’s not old enough to be my father or anything. Not that it would matter if he was.

What I’m trying to say is that as long as two people are adults and they love each other, age is just a number.

“It doesn’t matter to you, or to me for that matter, but it might to him. He knows you’re in love with him, but what if those feelings fade in a few years?”

“They won’t.”

“I know, honey, but he can’t be sure. He can’t know for certain that you won’t meet someone else who sweeps you off your feet, making you forget all about him.

“It’s a ridiculous idea, of course. Anyone who’s ever met you can see how deeply you love him. But Max is a guy. And guys can be pretty clueless when it comes to this stuff.”

“So, you think I should wait?” I asked, feeling a bit lost.

“No. I think you should make the most of your time here. If you meet a guy you like, go for it without feeling guilty. It could be a way for you to gauge the depth of your feelings for him.

“Maybe, as unlikely as it seems, what you feel for Max is just a teenage crush.”

“It’s not.”

“Honey, you’ve spent almost your entire life around him. There’s no doubt you love him. Maybe his good looks are muddying the waters.”

“I’m not confused. And why are you suddenly talking like you’re some wise old sage?”

“Pregnancy hormones.” She sighed.

“What?” I shrieked.

“Shush. I haven’t told him yet.”

“Why?”

“Because, one, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, and two, it would throw off the balance we’ve worked so hard to maintain.

“I’m not going to sit around and play the part of the calm, decorative luna who just raises pups.

“I mean, I’ll raise my kids, but I’ll make sure they know their mother is strong and fierce. Just as much as their father is.”

“I’ll hold you to that promise,” Caleb’s voice came from behind us, startling us both.

He moved closer, bent down to kiss Sarah, and began nuzzling her neck.

“Weren’t you supposed to be asleep?” Sarah murmured.

“Super hearing is a curse, and you two weren’t as quiet as you thought.”

“Sorry.”

“For not telling me I’m going to be a dad?”

“No, for waking you up.”

“I’m fine because I’m going to be an alpha dad.” He waggled his eyebrows, and Sarah rolled her eyes.

Now, if you’re wondering how our conversation about Max and me morphed into a joyful family moment, I can’t explain it. But what I can tell you is that I don’t really mind.

I just made them promise that I would be the baby’s godmother, even if it’s just in name.