Settling In

MAX

The following weeks were calm.

I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that she’s here to stay. I’ve seen the house, and Julian confirmed their move is permanent, but I’m still skeptical.

It’s hard to believe that after six years, the trips to Australia are finally over.

I didn’t mind the journey, and honestly, I had a great time there, but I’d rather not be apart from her.

I had to accept the distance and get used to it for so long, and maybe that’s why I find it hard to believe she’s not leaving when summer ends.

Like before, she spends a lot of time at my place. As usual, I sleep in the study when she’s here, but I don’t mind. I never did.

I’ve gotten used to the couch.

The only thing that’s different now is that Estella has become more insecure after what happened with Del.

Despite my reassurances, she’s still hesitant sometimes, and she even asks if it’s okay to spend the whole day together. She’s never done that before, and I don’t like it.

“Estella, we’ve already talked about this,” I told her firmly after the third time she asked.

“Yes, but I don’t want to keep you from other things. I understand spending all your free time with a kid might be tiring when you could be with your friends or with that girl…”

Her voice faded, and she avoided my gaze as I took her small hands in mine.

“That girl doesn’t mean anything to me. Not in that way, anyway. I’m not in love with her, and she’s not in love with me.”

“But someday, one girl will mean something,” she countered. “She will be your soulmate, and how can you be fully with her if you’re too worried about me?”

“That’s not what’s really bothering you, is it?” I asked gently, and she blushed. “You’re afraid I’ll forget about you as soon as I find my mate.”

It didn’t take a genius or our bond for me to figure out her real fear. The problem was that I couldn’t reassure her without revealing too much.

She was attached to me, there was no doubt about that, but I felt insecure too, just not for the same reasons she did.

Will I ever understand her true feelings for me?

Is it because of how we met?

Is it the bond we share, which I don’t know how much she can feel, being so young?

Or is it just a childish crush, as Julian has suggested more than once?

How can I be sure when I’m a half-beast with a predetermined fate? How can I be sure for her or for me, for that matter?

I try to be rational and separate my thoughts and feelings from those of my wolf, but sometimes they get tangled up, especially when they’re the same.

He sees his mate in Estella. He understands he can’t complete the bond yet, but he’s been in love with her from the start.

Or, to be more precise, he’s in love with her future wolf.

I can’t explain it in a way that even makes sense to me because the biology of how it works between our kind and humans isn’t very clear.

What I do know is that I have to shift often when I’m with her so my wolf can be close to Estella. He always shows off in front of her, and she’s very fond of him too.

I, on the other hand, see her as someone I deeply care about. A child most adorable. But the signs of her growing up are there, more so than six years ago.

Her body is changing, and last year, she started her period.

She’s becoming a woman right before my eyes, and I can’t help but notice how beautiful she already is and how stunning she’ll become.

The sexual attraction is still out of the question, as it should be, but I’m scared; what will I do when it finally catches up with my other feelings for her?

Will I be able to be reasonable then, or will I become like any other possessive wolf in the world and claim her no matter what?

These are the thoughts that keep me awake at night or sometimes ruin my moments with her.

Being as smart as she is, she notices my mood changes, but so far, I’ve managed to dodge her questions. How long can I keep that up, though?

If she doesn’t outgrow her attraction in the next few years, how easy will it be to stick to my plan to give her a choice to accept me with all that it entails?

Or if she does outgrow it, if she does… how will I ever cope?

UNKNOWN

The house was enormous.

It was smaller than the pack house but larger than Max’s house and the one she used to live in with her family, and that wasn’t small by any means.

Her uncle had given her the option to live in her old home if it made her feel better, but it didn’t. She didn’t even want to visit the place.

Leaving flowers on their graves every time she’d returned over the past six years was too much, making her sad for the rest of the day.

But she couldn’t stop doing it. She couldn’t stop visiting when she was so close.

She still remembered them, that day in the car before the crash. It was more like a dream than a clear memory…

The image was filled with light, blurring their features, and their voices seemed to come from a distant place, faint and distorted.

Then, at the end of it, there was nothing left of them, and that horrible smell still turned her stomach to this day. It was the only thing connected to them that was still vivid in her mind.

Maybe it was cruel of her not to want to think about them at all, but she couldn’t help it.

Her aunt and uncle had tried to get her to talk about them at first.

They’d even taken her to see a specialist, as they called him, after her first three months in Australia, but it was futile.

After a while, they’d learned to respect her wish, and everything was much better.

Uncle Julian was always there with her at the cemetery, sharing in her sorrow.

It was strange, she thought. When she was living in Australia, she’d missed her friends here so much.

Now that she was never going back, she found herself missing the triplets. Sure, the feeling wasn’t as strong, and it lessened every time she talked to them, but she missed them nonetheless.

In all her time in Australia, they were her only friends.

But there was a silver lining—her room here was much better. The first time she saw it, she’d wanted to squeal with delight. And she did just that.

The walls were a soft mint color, the curtains a light yellow with tiny pink flowers, and the furniture was what Aunt Lydia referred to as vintage cream.

It was so bright, and the desk was massive, filled with everything she needed for her drawings. Plus, she had her own bathroom.

When Max came to visit, she’d excitedly shown him her beautiful bedroom. He’d laughed at her enthusiasm, but he agreed that it suited her.

Max…

After seeing him with that girl, she’d started to think. She was older now, and despite what everyone told her, she knew her reaction had been extreme.

She loved him. Some might call it a crush, but that word didn’t seem right. She knew it was more than that because it hurt too much sometimes, even before the blonde girl.

He was still the most beautiful boy she’d ever seen.

~“Man, not boy,”~ she reminded herself, but she didn’t get to keep him anyway.

One day his mate would come and sweep him off his feet. The same would happen with Caleb, but that didn’t bother her.

In fact, when it came to her best friend, the thought made her happy. She looked forward to seeing him meet his match and hoped his mate would take him down a peg or two.

But with Max, it was different. Imagining him with any girl, let alone seeing him with one, was almost unbearable.

“Stop thinking about it, sweetie,” Eva had advised when she’d confided in her.

“Sometimes we become possessive of the ones we love. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not just a werewolf thing.”

“I’m not possessive with Cal,” she’d countered. “I’m perfectly fine sharing him with others, and I don’t care about the girls who are already swooning over him.”

“Every relationship is different. You met Max under unique circumstances, and your bond with him is different from what you have with my brother. You need to remember that.”

“But how will I be able to let him go when his soulmate shows up?” she’d asked, frustration creeping into her voice.

“Trust me, sweetie; you won’t have to.”

Eva’s answer was cryptic, and Estella had spent a couple of days trying to decipher it, but to no avail.

If she was his mate, the problem would be solved, but from what she understood, a werewolf couldn’t be paired with a human.

She’d asked Leslie once, and she’d explained that since humans didn’t believe in supernatural creatures, it would be risky because rejection was almost certain.

“But I wouldn’t reject my soulmate!” she’d protested vehemently. “Never.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t, my beautiful child.” Leslie had smiled at her fondly, but they’d left it at that.

Eventually, when it all became too complicated, she decided to stop overthinking and just enjoy herself.

School was starting soon, and that was nerve-wracking enough. She’d never been good with other kids. Human kids, to be precise.

Not that she had much luck with werewolf kids, but over the years, she’d made a few friends in the pack.

With Caleb’s encouragement and her annual visits that they seemed to get used to, she’d found some decent company.

Of course, the young women of the pack still shot her spiteful glances, but she wasn’t as defenseless as when she first arrived, so they didn’t really bother her.

Besides, they weren’t exactly the brightest bulbs. So, outsmarting them was easy.

She still spent most of her time with Max, though. That was about to change with school starting, so she tried to make the most of it.

They still had picnics on Sundays, and sometimes they even included her pack friends, but that didn’t happen often as the pups weren’t fans of waking up at six in the morning when they didn’t have training.

So, it was mostly just her and Max. They played, they talked, and they shared habits, forming their own private rituals.

He’d started eating Nutella sandwiches because of her, and she’d started drinking tea because of him.

She found it strange that he didn’t drink coffee like most adults she knew.

Her dad used to drink at least one cup every morning, and her uncle couldn’t function without at least two mugs.

Aunt Lydia wasn’t as addicted, but she liked to start her day with it, and Patrick was fond of it too, although, as he’d once told her, it didn’t affect him because of his werewolf genes.

“I just love the taste of it, you know,” he’d confessed in a conspiratorial tone.

Max, on the other hand, was the complete opposite of his cousin. He couldn’t stand the smell of coffee. Instead, he loved tea so much that he had a wide variety of flavors.

He always drank it plain, without milk, honey, or sugar. Sometimes, he’d add a few drops of lemon.

One day, out of curiosity, she’d taken a sip of his tea at breakfast and was delighted by how well it paired with her Nutella sandwich.

From that day on, they tried different types of tea together, although he always encouraged her to drink her milk and fresh juices too.

MAX

Julian had enrolled Estella in school three days ago. I could tell she was a bit uneasy about going, but she never complained.

Still, I promised I’d try to be the one to drive her to and from school, and she accepted with a bright smile that faded when she realized we might not be able to have breakfast together anymore.

So far, our arrangement had been working out just fine. Either I'd swing by and have breakfast at her new place, or I'd pick her up and we'd head back to mine.

The latter happened more often, mainly because, as she put it, my house had a better selection of teas.

I never pegged her as a tea enthusiast. In my experience, kids usually view that particular drink with a certain level of skepticism, if not outright disgust.

But my wolf was adamant that our mate was different, and I couldn't argue with that.

She even took her tea the same way I did: no sugar, honey, or milk, just a few drops of lemon, depending on the flavor.

Our preferences varied slightly—she wasn't a fan of the overly bitter blends, but I thought that was pretty normal.

When her first day of school rolled around, I drove her there with Lydia. Lydia was insistent on being there for her—it was their yearly tradition, and I saw no reason to object.

Lydia loved her niece as much as she loved her own kids, but that was the kind of effect Estella had on people.

Even when she was being a handful, she was still endearing, and knowing that she didn't have a mean bone in her body, it would take a heartless person not to adore her.

Those were Eva's words, by the way.

As we pulled up to the school, I noticed Estella nervously fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

“Everything's going to be okay, sweetie,” Lydia reassured her from the backseat. Estella just nodded, casting anxious glances out the window at the kids who were rushing to catch up with their friends.

I placed my hands over hers, and she turned to give me a pleading look.

A while back, she'd asked if she could go to the same school as the pups from the pack.

We had to explain to her that while she'd be safe there, it would be hard for her to fit in at a school exclusively for werewolves.

The curriculum was heavily focused on training and managing pack affairs. Plus, she needed to be around other humans.

Julian was in full agreement with this, and thankfully, he wasn't the type to think that a private or boarding school would be more prestigious for his niece.

He was perfectly okay with the local public school. And honestly, it was a pretty good one.

“Time to go, love,” I said, trying to keep my tone light.

She got out of the car reluctantly, and we all walked her to the school entrance. Taking a deep breath, she lifted her chin and marched right in.

That's my girl.