Not Goodbye

UNKNOWN

Today was her birthday.

She hadn’t been looking forward to it, but now that it was here, she felt a heavy weight on her heart.

She missed her family. If they were still here, she wouldn’t feel so torn.

Despite Max’s comforting words, she knew she didn’t have a choice. The realization that she had no control over certain things was hard for her to accept, especially at her young age.

She hadn’t chosen to lose her family.

She hadn’t chosen to end up in that orphanage.

Martha, the social worker, had explained that by law, children who couldn’t be cared for by their parents were given to the closest relative.

If there was no one, they were placed in orphanages—hopefully better ones than where she had been—until someone was willing to adopt them.

Martha had told her she was lucky to have so many people who loved her, but since Uncle Julian was the closest blood relative, the law favored him.

Even though she liked Uncle Julian, she resented the law that was forcing her to leave.

Because now, she had no choice but to move far away.

If only she could have both! She would happily live with Uncle Julian and his family. Why did Australia have to be so far away?

She knew where it was because she had asked Eva to show her on the map.

As Leslie dressed her, she noticed the girl’s worried expression. She looked pale and troubled.

She had been like this for a few days, lost in thought and sad.

Everyone knew she would have to leave, but no one talked about it. Especially Max, who looked as troubled as she did.

Estella was starting to warm up to her uncle, and had even spoken to her aunt and cousins on the phone.

They were excited to have her live with them and were preparing for her arrival.

Julian now picked her up from school and spent afternoons with her, telling her stories about his childhood with her dad and her aunt.

Most days, she seemed to enjoy her time with him, but if you looked closely, you could see her eyes searching the room for Max.

He was always absent, giving her space to bond with Julian.

Sometimes, she would zone out, and Julian would have to tickle her back to reality.

Leslie combed Estella’s hair and saw the child’s big expressive eyes looking at her in the mirror.

“I don’t want to go,” she whispered.

“I know, sweetheart, but it doesn’t have to be forever,” Leslie replied gently. “I’m sure we can figure something out.

“We can visit at Christmas, and maybe you can come back to spend the summer with us.”

“Really, Leslie?” Estella asked hopefully.

“Yes, honey. You’re always welcome here, and your uncle has already invited us to Australia, so it’s going to be okay.”

“And we can call each other too!”

“That’s right. Now, give me a smile, and let’s go celebrate your birthday.”

Estella smiled shyly and hugged Leslie.

When they walked downstairs together, the girl was noticeably happier than before. She jumped into Max’s arms before she even greeted anyone else.

She kissed his cheek, and he held her close.

“Happy birthday, little one,” he whispered in her ear, making her giggle.

After he put her down, she greeted everyone else: Uncle Julian, Howie, Cal (who had come especially for her birthday), Eva, and Patrick. Even some kids from the pack came.

She wasn’t really friends with them, but they were less hostile than the others and had even played with her a couple of times.

They couldn’t invite the kids from her school, but she didn’t mind. She wouldn’t see them again anyway.

She had a great time that day, her heart full of love for the people who had become her second family.

She would have to leave them, but that was a thought for tomorrow.

EVA

“Will you tell me what you’ve seen?” Patrick asked me. “About them?”

I sighed and rested my head on his chest. Estella would be leaving tomorrow, and Patrick was more worried than ever about Max.

Max was unusually quiet and expressionless. The first time they took her, he was angry, probably because he couldn’t control his wolf.

But now, it seemed like his wolf was completely subdued, and Max was eerily calm about the whole thing.

“Honey, it’s not like watching a movie,” I explained patiently.

“The images I see are fleeting and usually just fragments of a bigger picture that may or may not become clearer in the future.”

“But you’ve seen glimpses of their future, haven’t you?”

“Even if I have, you know I’m not supposed to talk about the things I see, not even with you,” I reminded him.

“I know, babe. I just… I want to make sure they’ll get their happy ending. I don’t want anything bad to happen to either of them.”

“I don’t think it will,” I tried to reassure him—and myself.

“Have you seen something bad, though?” he pressed.

I tried to keep my face neutral as the image of the dying, skeletal, white-haired creature flashed in my mind.

It was a horrifying sight, lying there on a bed, beyond help, beyond reach.

“It’s all blurry so far,” I murmured.

“But that day when you ran out…”

“I already told you, Patrick,” I said, annoyed. “That was an image from the past. I’d never seen one before, and it overwhelmed me.”

“Yes, but if the images aren’t clear, how do you know?”

“I saw Max as a kid with Howie, so it was pretty obvious. Look, worrying won’t do you any good.

“Sometimes, even the most ominous premonitions don’t come true. They can change if we choose a different path.”

“You’re upset,” he murmured, a note of sadness in his voice.

I felt a pang of guilt. My frustration wasn’t really about him. It was about the two people who could give me answers but chose not to.

I’d tried to reach out to my aunt when the last vision hit me, but she didn’t show up.

As for my mom, she insisted I keep it to myself. She claimed she didn’t know what it meant or how I could stop it from happening.

I knew she was lying. Over the years, she’d gained more control over her powers. She could help me if she wanted to.

I gently kissed Patrick’s jaw.

“No, you didn’t. If you had, I’d give you hell!”

He chuckled, tilting my chin up to kiss me.

“Of course you would. I love your hells,” he said, making me smile.

“Because they always lead to us having sex,” I scoffed.

“Hot sex,” he corrected me.

“Was it hot last time? I didn’t notice,” I teased.

“You didn’t?”

“No, I’m afraid not.” I shook my head, trying to keep a straight face.

“Are you sure about that, babe?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I nodded, but before I could verbally respond, I found myself on my back with my handsome werewolf mate hovering over me.

After a brief, intense look, he kissed me, stealing my breath away, just like he always did.

I knew we were in for a long night, but I didn’t mind. I never did, and right now, it was exactly what we both needed.

MAX

Tomorrow’s the day.

No matter how much I tried to convince myself that everything would be okay, that we could visit each other and talk on the phone every day, a part of me still hurt.

I enjoyed taking care of her, being her friend, her protector. The thought of someone else taking my place didn’t sit well with me.

I wouldn’t be there to hold her, to soothe her fears, to make her laugh until she couldn’t breathe, to play with her, or to answer all her questions.

Those were my feelings. My wolf’s feelings were a different story.

Once he realized that there was nothing we could do to keep her here—or rather, that I wasn’t willing to rip her away from her only human family—he fell silent, mourning in his own way.

Over the past few days, I’d even managed to have some decent conversations with her uncle.

He appreciated that I’d stepped aside to give him a chance to earn his niece’s trust. He was the one who made the first move and approached me.

I had to admit, begrudgingly, that he wasn’t as bad as I’d wanted him to be. I didn’t know what I would do if I were in his shoes, so maybe it wasn’t fair to judge him.

I could see that he already adored Estella. He came to see her every single day.

He didn’t spoil her or shower her with gifts. He showed his love by being there for her. He even convinced her to visit her family’s graves.

They’d gone together a couple of times. Even though she was sad when they came back, she was more open to talking about them, which was good for her.

The day before yesterday, Julian asked me to go with him to his brother’s house. Estella wasn’t ready to go there yet, and he couldn’t do it alone.

He said he’d feel braver if he had someone with him. Since Patrick was swamped with work, I was his next choice.

When we got to the house, he almost backed out, and I had to talk him into going in.

As we stepped inside the quiet house and looked around at all the dusty belongings and the countless family photos on the walls, he started shaking.

Before I knew it, he was breaking down, crying over the years of his brother’s life that he’d missed.

At first, I felt uncomfortable.

My kind doesn’t handle death easily, and our pack has always been peaceful. I hadn’t seen much death (unless you count the day we found Estella with Patrick).

My dad was usually the one who dealt with this kind of thing, comforting the families and such.

So, for a while, I just stood there, not knowing what to say. Then I helped him sit on the couch and went to the kitchen to get him a glass of water.

I rummaged through the cabinets until I found the glasses. As I filled one up, I heard the TV turn on in the living room.

When I came back, I found him sitting on the floor in front of the screen. He looked like a child. It was strange, but that’s what I thought when I saw him.

“When Mia was born,” Julian began, his voice rough and low, “Liz wrote to me and said that James wouldn’t give the girl our sister’s name because she looked too much like her, and he didn’t want to jinx it.”

I didn’t say anything, just turned my gaze to the TV. It was playing a family video of all the children sitting in the backyard.

It must have been taken over a year ago because Estella looked younger.

The oldest girl, Mia, did look a lot like her deceased aunt, while the boy, David, had brown hair like Estella, but his eyes were a bright green.

He was keeping his younger sister entertained with his toy cars while their eldest sister braided Estella’s hair.

It was such a sweet scene. I sat next to him and handed him the water.

“I’ve been such a jerk!” he groaned, resting his head in his hand, holding the glass in his other hand.

“Yes, you were,” I agreed. “But so was your brother. You let your sister’s death tear you apart and held onto a grudge that should never have existed.”

“You don’t understand.” He shook his head, taking a sip of water.

“You’re right. I don’t. But feeling guilty won’t fix anything. They’re gone, but Estella is here.

“She doesn’t look like your sister, but she’s been through something awful. If you’re going to take care of her right, you need to let go of the fear that you’ll mess up again.”

“You sure know how to talk,” he said.

“That I do.” I laughed. “Now get up, and let’s gather some things for her. I bet she’ll want them.”

I helped him to his feet.

“You know she’s got a crush on you, right?” he asked me.

“She’s six,” I replied, brushing off his comment, and we started sorting through the stuff we’d bring back.

Now, standing in my room, seeing her things all packed up, I felt powerless.

She was in the bathroom getting ready for our nightly story time, but I knew I wasn’t up for it tonight.

I sat on the bed, trying to calm myself, but it was no use. I really didn’t want her to leave.

If she was going somewhere closer, maybe her leaving wouldn’t hit me so hard. But Australia was a world away.

I didn’t hear her come out of the bathroom or climb onto the bed. But when she crawled into my lap, I looked at her through tear-filled eyes.

“Don’t cry, Max. I’ll miss you too,” she said softly, wiping my tears away with her little fingers.

I took her hands in mine and kissed them. “I can’t read you a story tonight,” I said, and she nodded.

She wriggled out of my lap and pulled back the covers. She didn’t say anything, but I knew what she meant, and I gave in.

The excuse I made for myself was that she’d find me anyway, and if I locked my door tonight, she’d be hurt.

The truth was, I couldn’t stay away.

UNKNOWN

She woke up with a smile, breathing in Max’s comforting scent. She knew their time was running out, but she didn’t want to get up just yet.

She just hugged him tighter and closed her eyes again.

Eventually, she got up and did what she needed to do, and Max helped her get ready. He’d brought a lot of her old things and family photos.

She couldn’t look at them yet, but she was glad to have them. They made her feel close to her family.

This goodbye was different. Max was with her the whole time. He didn’t leave like when she was taken to the orphanage.

He was the one to drive her to the airport and talked about all the things they’d do when they saw each other again. She liked that.

“Did you say goodbye to Cal?” he asked.

She nodded. She’d told Caleb she had to leave the day after her birthday.

He’d scolded her for not telling him sooner and said that if her uncle wasn’t nice to her, he’d come all the way to Australia to bring her back.

When they got to the airport, Uncle Julian was waiting for them, smiling.

Without thinking, she buried her face in Max’s chest. As soon as they’d gotten out of the car, she’d clung to him like a monkey, and she wouldn’t let go.

“It’s time, sweetheart,” he whispered, kissing her forehead.

He set her down, and Uncle Julian took her hand in his. She didn’t say goodbye to Max, and he didn’t say it to her. But she kept looking back at him until she couldn’t see him anymore.