three

The door slams shut behind Adrian, making me flinch and look at Levi, who gives me an almost apologetic look, then turns around and runs after his mate, shouting his name.

I can't help but think- what about me? Am I not his mate as well?

And like... that's all they have to say? They know we're mates and they leave without addressing it or anything? That kinda hurts.

Yeah, well, what did I expect, really?

A small, defeated chuckle leaves my mouth and Tristan's gaze meets mine, even tho he's usually hard to read, right now I can see the compassion clear as a day.

"Don't say it," I shake my head at him.

"I'm sorry."

"Fuck you," I groan, but squeeze my eyes shut a second after because me eyes start to sting.

Oh no, no, no, no. I don't cry. I never cry.

My wolf howls in my head and I shake my head. Shut up.

"I'm sorry," he says again, sitting down on the stool beside the bed and he squeezes my shoulders.

I just nod, still not really processing everything that happened in the last 24 hours.

"I'm sorry too," I whisper after some time, "for dragging you into this... if they wouldn't have shot me-"

"I don't think I have to explain to you that it wasn't your fault and this would've happened one way or another if the attacks wouldn't have stopped."

His tone leaves no place for arguments and I glance at him, giving him a weak smile.

"I can still thank you tho."

He rolls his eyes at that but but they soften a little nevertheless.

A knock on the door makes me turn my head in its direction and Mrs. Walsh walks in with some papers in her hand, sighing and looking at me and Tristan for a little before speaking up.

"All the toxins are out of your body and you should be healed by tomorrow. You already know that there's gonna-"

"Remain a scar, I know," I finish off for her and she gives me an apologetic look, one I've seen on her face times plenty of before, "it's fine. Not your fault, anyway."

"You can leave tomorrow morning... get some rest, alright? You too, Tristan," she points to the bed next to mine and he looks at her for a second, then nods his head.

Mrs. Walsh closes the door behind her and I give Tristan a look before rolling to the side, not without some difficulties because of my wound, and close my eyes, "sweet dreams."

"Fuck off."

A small smile makes its way onto my face, despite the whole depressing situation we're in.

*

"Wake up shithead."

A smack on my head makes me groan and give Tristan a glare once my eyes adjust to the light in the room.

"Adrian and Levi knocked, they're finished with the sleeping arrangements. Come on."

I nod and sit up, noticing that my side doesn't hurt anymore. Merely a small sting. Pulling my shirt up I'm met with a red and ugly scar and even tho by now I should be used to those, I'll never get used to the memories that come with them.

That moment the door opens and when I look up, two dark gazes meet mine and then wander down to where my shirt is lifted up, one face changing into something softer and the other remaining just as stoic as it always seems.

Not expecting my mates to walk in like that, I pull the shirt down and swallow inaudible, my heart beating fast in my chest once again.

Thankfully Adrian clears his throat and starts talking.

"We do not have a room for two. Tristan gets the only empty bedroom. Rafael... your uncle was so kind and said he could take you in."

Well, now I wish he wouldn't have opened his moth at all.

My stomach had just made at least two turns.

"Are you-" Tristan stops mid-sentence, taking a breath, "are you fucking kidding me?"

His words cut through the room and I feel like I can't breathe, my face probably white as a sheet by now.

"No. No, he won't," Tristan continues, shaking his head, voice stoic and body tense.

Looking down on my hands, I can see them shaking and I ball them into fists, trying to calm myself down, my wolf down and not- not fucking panic.

"We don't have any more rooms-"

"And you think putting him in the same house as-" he interrupts the alpha male, only to stop again mid-sentence, because he doesn't want to say it.

That I paralyzed my own uncle.

So I speak up for him, "-as the person whose life I ruined. Put in a wheelchair."

After said person abused me for years. Something that I didn't tell anyone, not even Tristan.

It feels like someone threw a bucket of ice-cold water on me. My breath gets back to normal, my heartbeat steadies, and even my hands stop shaking.

I know what's happening. The feeling. The numbness.

Nobody knows what to say, but I can practically hear their thoughts.

A monster. He's a monster.

I'm a fuck-up.

"We're sorry but there's nothing we can-"

This time Levi gets cut of by Tristan, making Adrian growl slightly in a protective manner and I just look at them, asking myself if I really do deserve all this.

"Aren't you the Alpha and the Luna of this pack? And you're telling me you can't find any place for him to sleep at? You know how much of a trigger that would be for him?"

The only thing really blooming in my chest is gratefulness, for having Tristan here with me right now.

He doesn't even know why I did, what I did to my uncle, and yet he's here, standing up for me.

That's honestly the only thing that gives me a little hope in this hopeless situation.

Adrian's the one that speaks up this time, not happy.

"First of all: Don't you dare interrupt us again. You're on our territory now and you show respect to us. Secondly, as we mentioned before, there is no place-"

"He can sleep in our house."

For a second everything is quiet, all of us just staring at Levi with open mouths. Well, not literally but it's the first time today that Adrian's stoic mask slips, and he looks at his mate wide-eyed.

And I'm not sure whether sleeping with them in a house is better than going back to my Uncle's. I think I couldn't decide even if my life depended on it.

"Levi..." Adrian seems hesitant, but Levi seems sure.

His eyes lock with mine and for a second I seem to forget everything around us, all the shit that's happened and the circumstances we're currently in, and honestly? All I want to is for Adrian to agree, so we can live together and live the life I imagined for us, basically since the first day I saw them and-

"It's better for all involved. Our wolves won't go crazy by not being with each other-"

And that's when the bubble bursts and I am confronted with the harsh reality as so often before in my life.

Of course, it's not because of me.

A quiet snort escapes my mouth and all eyes turn to me, making me cover my face with my hands.

"I'm sorry... just," I try to stop the laughter coming from my mouth but it isn't really working, "just con... continue with the conversation."

I wave my hand in the air as a sign for them to start talking again, but they don't.

"Rafael..." Tristan says concerned, maybe a little confused and a long sigh escapes my lips.

"I'm fine. Fine. Sorry," I shake my head and start picking at my nails.

Then I sigh and stand up, not without wincing a little because of the wound.

Adrian and Levi seem to be talking with each other through the mind link now, but Adrian's gaze follows me anyway as I walk to the chair in the corner, where my pants and my hoodie are laying.

The grey hoodie has blood on it, as does my shirt, but I don't care.

I don't really care about anything. Or I wish I wouldn't. Because this shit doesn't just make me anxious as fuck, but it also hurts like hell.