two

Alright, so, it has gotten to the point where I can barely breath and I may or may not have been unconscious more than once but... I've had worse... I think.

"Rafael, just fucking breath, alright?"

Tristan's words seem harsh and unapologetic but the look in his eyes tells me he's just as helpless as I am and I try to do as he says, for his sake only but all that leaves my mouth is a pained grunt.

"Can you drive faster, asshole?"

Tristans words anger the pack member that has been sent to drive us but one look at me makes him sigh and actually speed up a little.

A few minutes pass, where all I can think is of how badly this shit hurts and how much I don't want to go back there.

Crossing the pack orders was something I never planned on doing again.

The car comes to a sudden halt, making me grunt.

"Alright, alright, come on Rafael."

Tristan takes me out of the car, by now I'm a panting mess and almost fall forward but he holds me still and starts walking towards a building, I'm familiar with.

"Tristan, Rafael, in here," a sweet voice calls out and I look up, seeing Mrs. Walsh giving me a small, but genuine, smile, one I can't return because I honestly feel like my whole abdomen is on fire.

"So we meet again," she states, once I lie on the bed in the small hospital room and I take her hand in mine to squeeze it briefly.

"They got you good," she mumbles while examining my wound making Tristan scowl at her.

"And who's fault is that?"

She gives him a look, one that shuts him up and once she talks walking to her cabinet I can only hope for something that does something to ease my pain.

"Fuck, I think I'm gonna pass out," I grit my teeth, black dots appearing before my eyes but that's when Tristan steps forward and... slaps me. Hard.

"You fucking-" I stop myself before actually insulting him and he gives me a small, weak smirk, taking my hand in his to squeeze.

"Alright, so this is gonna hurt... a lot. It's gonna burn all the toxins away but after that, the pain will go away."

I just look at her, my eyes wide because I already went through this shit once and honestly never wanted to experience it again.

"Shit, alright, I'm scared," I mumble, gritting my teeth and squeezing Tristan's hand a little more.

"I know and I'm sorry. Here." She hands me a cloth and I groan, anxiety making its way in my body but I take it nevertheless.

Once I put it in my mouth I nod and close my eyes.

The pain I start feeling seconds after that is one I never want to experience again.

*

"He should wake up soon," I hear a quiet voice telling someone and try to peel my eyes open, blinking as a bright light blinds me.

"There," the voice says again and this time I know it's Mrs. Walsh, she turns to talk to Tristan "I'll give you two some time alone. Remember, Alpha and Luna want to talk to you later."

I thought my heart was just gonna stop beating at her words but instead, it starts beating three

times faster.

So Alpha and Luna, huh? What about the Beta?

"You gave me quite the scare," Tristan mumbles, and once my eyes adjusted to the lights I see him sitting next to my bed, looking tired.

"I hate being here," I mumble and he follows my gaze, to look out the window where you can see the forest and all the houses with the... pack people.

"I know."

Once he looks at me and I spot the small, solemn smile on his face I can't help but let out a quiet chuckle myself and soon we both are laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

Not even sure why, but it definitely isn't a happy laugh.

"Never thought I'd be back here one day."

The look on his face turns sour and I can almost see him reliving images in his head. I try not to let that happen because then I'd probably... cry.

But I haven't done that in a while and I want to keep it that way.

"Shit," I mumble for no particular reason and try to sit up, groaning as my abandon starts protesting but it's far better than it was before.

A knock on the door immediately makes me tense, Tristan notices it immediately and rounds the bed, his face void of any emotion, and stands on the other side of the bed, kinda shielding me from the door.

"You idiot, don't do that."

He doesn't have to protect me, that's not his job, but the look he gives me shuts me up immediately and I cross my arms across my chest with a huff.

Fuck this. I don't want to face them. Never wanted to see them again actually.

I think I might throw up.

"Tristan?" ,alright, that's Mrs. Walsh, "Can Alpha Adrian and Luna Levi come in?"

Can they? Or do they have to?

I doubt they even want to come in.

Tristan gives a curt grunt, almost making me smile but the anxiety I'm feeling doesn't let me do that, and instead I form my hands into fists, to stop them from shaking.

This is it. This is the moment I've been dreading my whole life basically.

And just looking at Tristan's tense form, I can tell he knows just as much as I do, that everything is about to change.

I just turned eighteen a few months ago. The age where you'll be able to find your mates, where they're gonna be able to tell.

I've known for a long time now.

When the door opens and I can smell them even more intense then before, my wolf starts to get restless.

"Alright, so... Levi and Adrian want to talk to you about the incident," for a moment I think I can't breathe, "and how you got your wound. They're worried about the safety of the pack."

And then, suddenly I come to the realization that they probably don't even care. As she said, they worried about the pack. Their pack

So, I try to calm down my breathing and my beating heart and try to stop the shaking of my body and-

"Tristan, Rafael, it's nice to see you again."

His smooth voice makes goosebumps appear all over my body and I shut my eyes tightly for a second, feeling lightheaded.

It's nice to see you again? That's what he says after what... two years?

And why does he have to say my name like that.

"We'd like to know exactly what happened and when the frequent attacks started... when they started using poison."

I'm glad Tristan is standing in front of me and that he does all the talking. Telling them that rogues have been attacking frequently over the last three months, how they never used poison, only this once, and how many of them there were.

His voice is cold, serious, with no sign of any emotion and it reminds me of the times when he used to talk to me like that.

"And so they got us surrounded when out of nowhere a human came out the woods wearing bow and arrow, we couldn't react fast enough, they didn't let us move and so Rafael got shot... I don't know why, but after that they backed up. They turned around and left."

"Can he attest to that?" that's Levi, his voice sounding professional but a lot more soothing than Adrians and all I can think of is that that's it, our eyes are gonna meet and they're gonna know.

Who decided on that? That you have to lock eyes to know someone is your soulmate? So, so stupid. I hate eye-contact. Fuck eye-contact.

I think I'm panicking.

"Rafael?" Tristan calls out and I look up at him, give him a small nod when that's anything I want to do and as he steps away I hold my breath, for whatever reason.

"Tell us what you saw, please."

How can they keep it so professional? I want to fucking scream at them to give me any sort of reaction, they could even scream at me and I would understand but they... they just don't care.

I still don't meet their eyes. I'm not ready. They're probably gonna kill me when they find out.

I can already see the headlines.

Alright, fuck, answer them.

"We were surrounded, f-five wolves in total... and-"

"Look us in the eyes when you talk to us."

Adrian's voice is firm, authoritative and I know that I have just shown a sign of disrespect, you always look an Alpha, and Luna for that matter in the eye when you talk to them, but I can't.

Instead, I squeeze them shut once again, a shaky breath leaving my mouth. My wolf isn't making me feel better, just makes this a lot more difficult but I can't blame him.

Maybe the bond is to blame, but I don't even know about that.

"Rafael," he knows, he has to know. The change in his tone gives him away.

Have they known all these years?

"No," I rasp out, shaking my head desperately, "I can't."

I can hear them shuffling closer to me, guessing that Tristan stops them when I hear a low growl coming from Levi, making shivers run down my spine.

"Look at us," he emphasizes every word, that's when I can't take it anymore. My wolf is making me go crazy.

"You already know what's gonna happen!" I shout and that's when I open my eyes and look at them for the first time in two years.

It feels as if the whole world stops when our eyes meet.

I don't know how many times our eyes met the whole time I've been on this earth. More than I can count. My eyes always searched theirs, theirs always searched mine and each others.

But the feeling that makes its way into my body once our eyes meet this time is different than anything I've ever felt before.

But that's a lie, isn't it? I've felt it so many times, wishing they would too, asking myself why they couldn't.

Still, the intensity of this feeling was never quite this strong and it almost makes me feel nauseous.

"Fuck," that's the first thing Adrian whispers after ours eyes met for only a few seconds and he turns away, making my heart squeeze painfully in my chest.

My wolf feels it too and I can feel his pain, although he tries to hide it from me.

My eyes tear away from him and Levi, not wanting to see the look in their eyes once the newfound information has really settled in.

The fact that I'm their soulmate. Me, a monster, someone they despise.

At that thought, my heart starts to ache because I remember the times they didn't. When their eyes were filled with something other than distaste when they looked at me and didn't see a stranger.

Because that's all we are to each other now, strangers... right?