chapter 30

Dear therapist, i named my diary as therapist as it is the best pain reliever, my every secret holder, my pain endovor, the one who was with me with my thick or thin. Since childhood i never make great friends except than Emma but i was not as open to her so i made this diary' Each and everyday blake is doing something that make me fall harder for him. These past days were the best for me. We tease each other, cooked together and did dishes together. It was better if he would become the same arrogant man he was earlier because now i started to fall in love with him. I mean who wouldn't? He respects me, gives me those butterflies everytime he kiss me or say some mesmerizing words. My heart dances everytime i see his freaking beautiful smile with dimples.I know he is doing all out of sympathy to compensate for his earlier behaviour but what am I supposed to do? He is being too nice, which no one show me in my entire life except my parents. Although it was written in the contract to not to fall in love but unfortunately i fall harder than i thought. He has occupied my heart , brain and my entire body. I can hardly call it mine because all i think , all i feel, all i hear is of blake. Ughh the hell ,he has made me freaking insane mad in love with him. I don't have the guts to confess him because i am afraid what if he rejects me? He will start ignoring me or maybe something else. I won't confess my feelings to him,  ill always keep his love forever in my heart. I love you blake, i love you insanely, i love you more than anything. Please don't be in love with someone, it will hurt.'♡♡♡♡Till the end of the writing a long tear escaped from my eyes and it's drop fall on the diary.  I wiped my tear and closed the diary and kept it on the bed drawer.***Its been past nine pm, and he haven't came to the house till now. I was getting worried , usually he comes 7.00 pm but now it's been too lateI thought to call him, and dialed his number, at first 3 times he didn't attended the call but on the fifth time he attended and i just burst him with questions." Blake where are you? I am being so worried as hell.""you didn't even attended the call, are you okay. Atleast you would have told me that you would be late, and here i was having numerous number of thoughts about you. Why aren't you saying anything. Say na?" I said but another male voice came."Sorry! But sir got an panic attack and he is in the hospital right now" a voice came and the phone fall from my hand immediately. My world stop there , i stopped breathing, my entire body fell souless.' He got an panic attack?' 'is he okay?'Hot tears pooled up from my eyes." I WANT TO SEE HIM, I WANT TO SEE MY BLAKE" i shouted my lungs out my voice cracked With shiverly hands i took the phone from the floor and asked him"Whi..ch hosp..ital?" i  asked." ABC hospital" he said and I didn't wasted any time and hurriedly went out the house. My tears didn't left my eyes even for a second. I took a cab and left for the hospital.'God, please make him safe, after so many years i was feeling happy you can't harm my happiness. My blake'I reached the hospital and ran to the receptionist." My h..usband which room" i asked her" What's your husband name?" She asked." Blake..his name is blake" i said and started crying more." Room number 343" she saidAnd i ran as fast as i could, everyone was staring at me with pity and different expression but who cares.I reached to his room and found marcus was already standing there. I ignored him and reach to his room but the nurse stop me." Mam, you can't go there, examination is going on. Please stay here" she said." He is my husband, i want to see .. him, please..let me go in. Please I beg you" " Mam we can't allow please try to understand" she saidMarcus came to me and console me " Marcus told her , that i want to see him, please . I am his wife " i said to him with an crying face." Ana, don't panic ,let the doctor treat him" he said pulling me into a hug and i bursted my cry even more." I want to see him, i can't be in calm until i see him" i said sobbing and crying" He will be okay, don't worry" he said rubbing my back to console me After some hoursI was standing there as a statue, my eyes focused on the small window of his room. The doctor were doing their work and he was lying on the bed with several wired attached to him. Till now blake dad, uncle and her aunt came.His dad was looking sick worried, so does his uncle but seeing her aunt expression which anyone could say were fake." How is he? Is he fine" blake dad asked marcus." Don't know, doctors are doing their work" marcus said." I hope our blake will be okay" his aunt said." I thought he must have recovered from it. But he still gets panic attacks" his aunt said , i don't know why but i get so wrong  vibe from herTill than doctors came out of the room and i didn't wait anymore" How he? He is okay right?" i said" Don't worry, he is okay for now, but something must have reminded him in the office and he got anxious and it pierced his brain and got an panick attack. He is still didn't overcome from his anxiety. For now i have given him the medicine and he need proper rest both physical and especially mental" the doctor saidWhat fear? Which anxiety they are taking about. I remember blake getting nightmares at first. So he gets those nightmares because of fear," Can we see him?"  His dad asked" Yes, you can but one at a time. And don't asked him questions which again make him concious" the doctor said" Ana, you go first" marcus said" No, i don't have the guts. Everyone of you go first and than i will go" i said.If i will see him , i know i can't control my tears for a second and i don't want to pressure him more.________________________________________________Give your reviews and tell me if you liked it?