[April Fools 2023] – Blooper Reels

[April Fools 2023] – Blooper Reels

“Iscario!?” Frost cried in shock when she finally saw the state the man was in.

Iscario walked into the light of the village drenched in blood. One of his eyes was plucked clean from the socket. It bled like a gouged fountain as he clutched onto it through his drooping hair.

But he was calm. Terrifyingly calm.

It was as if nothing was awry. Frost’s heart rapidly beat in response as her body instantly took over. She clutched onto his shoulders and tried to move him aside but to no avail. He was like a boulder.

“W-what happened to you!? P-please sit down! I might be able to stop the bleeding with – Agh!?”

No. A mountain. She could not even move a single hair of his aside, let alone those feathers of his coat. Rather, they weren’t feathers at all. They were made from some sort of sharpened, ridged metal. It easily sliced through her forearm, causing her to recoil backwards in pain.

He merely raised a hand in response, silencing the worried Frost as he shook his head once.

Then, before she could even react, Iscario drew his face near and then.

“P-Pfffft.” He unexpectedly cackled, causing Frost to roll her head as the villagers threw their hands over their heads in disappointment.

“Are you kidding me Iscario?” Frost deeply sighed as a bunch of lights shone over them as a team arrived to clean the ‘blood’ from Frost’s arm.

“CUT!”

The Director exclaimed, shouting through a paper megaphone as he sat off the set, legs crossed on a flimsy camping chair. “STICK TO SCRIPT ISCARIO!”

Calfasio backhandedly slapped one of the blue scripts as he loitered around the set for the Director’s next biggest film, Nexus Awakened.

“Uuuugh! And I want to start playing my character already! Alright, alright – get into position! From the top!”

* * *

Iscario only stared into the village mother’s eyes to silence her. There was a certain authority he held that instant caused her to shudder and kneel before him like he was a god. Frost instantly casted Greater Healing on herself, sealing up the wounds as she observed the situation in silent shock.

“Careful with your hands. My coat is not flourished for show. Please pay no heed to my injury. I had a minor incident with one of the Beholders. To think that dog would remain suspicious of me. But no matter. I am here now. It’s already too late for them.”

Frost grit her teeth and opened her mouth.

“… W-what the hell are you even saying? You just lost an eye. Don’t go speaking like that doesn’t matter –!”

Suddenly, Iscario turned to the camera, Snap.

“I can’t do this. Why the fuck are my lines so edgy!?” Iscario broke character once again.

“CUT!”

* * *

“Judge… ment.”

Frost could barely speak with what little air remained in her lungs. The stakes made it impossible to flee or react. She could only watch on in utter hopelessness. It blinked again, each of the golden eyes piecing deeply into her soul as she grit her teeth in torment.

“… I… I came from Earth… Transported here… turned into… a girl… and now… I’m being… judged…?”

Her words were in the form of a bloodied gurgle.

For what?

Frost did not know.

“I helped… those people… in that village… that everyone abandoned… but in the end… I’m the one… being judged…”

Who did she wrong?

Was she a bad person?

She knew in her heart that her answer was a resounding no. She did nothing to harm anyone, both here and on Earth. So why was she being put through such a hellish tribulation? A trial reserved for only monsters?

These thoughts were only fleeting. The Black Forest grew darker. The only light which came from the eyes of the hideous bird waned with her vision as all went cold.

She was dying.

HP : 3 | 120

Perhaps she was already dead. She did not know herself, only that the pain had finally began to slip away.

HP : 1 | 120

But as all sensation steadily disappeared; a resounding flame burst forth from the bottom of her heart, and from the deepest depths of her soul.

“If… my only… wrong… is living… then I’d rather… be wrong… to the very end!”

“CUT!”

“Huh!? What for!?” Frost exclaimed.

“Nothing. I was just so moved~! Marvelous! Stupendous!” The faceless Director, who wore a mask with a literal ‘D’ falsely wiped a tear.

* * *

Frost could be seen petting the head of the One Thousand Eyed Bird, stroking its beautiful feathered coats as she hummed; “Awww~ Sorry they’re making you play a monster.”

The bird quivered, adoring Frost’s gentle touch. It wanted to rub itself against her, but resisted due to its size. It feared injuring this person, and Frost extended her arms and buried her face into its fur.

“You’re so precious~! Director! Don’t go giving the One Thousand Eyed Bird anymore screen time if it’s going to be evil!”

“It’s ok! We won’t be seeing much of it! Have you read far into the script yet?” D-13 exclaimed, rushing over to Frost like an ecstatic, restless fan. “Frost in the flesh~ So coooool~! Ouch. Ouch! Stop pecking me! Alright – I’ll leave!”

“… Why are all the ‘Corrupted’s so attached to me?” Frost couldn’t help but wonder.

* * *

“Tch. Look what they did to you…” Frost painfully spoke through clenched teeth as she carefully crouched down in front of them, not wishing to startle the poor thing any more than it already was.

Now that she had a closer look, the child was a young, brown-skinned girl of an unknown race.

She had tangled, long pale hair and golden eyes that cut through the darkness like a steady flame. Tiny feathers protruded from certain areas around her body, namely behind her ears which were strange fur-like flaps that reacted to every sound. They were on the sides of her head rather than the top like the others she had seen.

A tail made from fur protruded from the base of her back and was tipped with a feathered bulb. It appeared more like an organ than some sort of accessory. Razor sharp teeth lined the insides of her mouth like that of a shark.

Her left hand had its fingers replaced with blackened, ridged claws. They were heavily weathered with dirt, grit, and dried blood. Frost could only hope that it didn’t originate from somewhere else. Finally, she was draped in ragged cloth made from feathers and hide.

A chimera came to mind, or at least something avian-like given the feathers and talons she possessed. If those races even existed in this world, anyway.

“There’s a big skewered beast inside of the Black Forest!” The girl yelled again as Frost prepared to heal her. “… Papa?”

“CUT!”

“Awwww~! You can’t be calling me that on the set~!” Frost embraced the tiny ‘Jury’, as the real Jury arrived, her tail wagging to clean off the fake blood from their daughter. “Mama.”

“Here. Remember the Script ok?” Jury knelt down, stroking their daughter’s head as the Director patiently waited.

“Weird that you’re not mad at them but when I screw up it’s like the world’s ending.” Iscario complained.

“I’d rather that I live to see this film get made.” The Director gulped at the sight of Jury.

“By the way.” Cer spoke, munching on popcorn. “How do two girls make a baby? Maybe Frost isn’t a girl after all?”

“She definitely is. VFX isn’t going to turn a guy into a girl.” The Director grumbled.

* * *

She felt light-headed. The world seemingly disappeared for a moment before Jury’s voice brought her back.

“Forest?”

“Ah… I’m fine. Sorry for making you worry.” Frost smiled fondly at her, assuring the woman that nothing was wrong. “Let’s mark this place with the other stakes. We’ll leave as soon as I get these feathers on. Tch.”

And as she layered the feathers across the vulnerable parts of her body, she uttered in a hideously low whisper.

“Iscario… I promise that as long as I’m still alive I won’t let anything go your way.”

“CUT!”

“Phew.” Frost sighed, covering her chest and privates. “And Director! This better be censored during post!”

“Hellen’s going to take care of that. No one wants to look at your flat chest anyway –” Jury, who was also featured in the scene, rapidly began to march towards the Director, baring her teeth as Snap zoomed in to capture the footage. “Oh hey – Wait – WAIT – CALL SECURITY –!”

“She is the Set’s security.” Cer stuffed her face with popcorn, taking things slow until it was her turn to be featured.

* * *

Cer, Ber and Res stood side by side, scrambling to fit into Snap’s camera lenses.

“Is this thing on?” Ber tapped on the lens.

“Brrr~!” Snap whined happily.

“Alright. Ahem! Just when you thought the Director couldn’t get any more tight, he got us 3 wolves to play the triplets. I don’t even know her! Or her!” Ber exclaimed, pointing a thumb at the flanking two. “What’s he trying to say!? That all wolves look the same!?”

“But we do look the same.” Res spoke timidly, poking her fingers together.

““AS IF!”” Ber and Res shouted simultaneously, frightening the twin tailed wolfwoman.

* * *

Suddenly, the crimson-fogged forest was illuminated by the emphatic light of one thousand golden eyes.

All her invisible eyes had come to her aid, and they banished all shadows with its righteous light.

“W-what is… happening…?”

“Is that… her doing?”

“Her hair it’s… it’s changing.”

“Are we saved…?”

“Frost… you can’t possibly be human. You – what exactly are you…?”

These were but a fraction of the voices that spilled from their parted lips.

Frost stood still as everyone around her reacted as though she was transforming. It was always weird to undergo the manifestations when everything was done in post. A young Ignis rolled a giant, plastic fan on a wheeled contraption to simulate the winds bending to the might of her… ‘powers’.

You know, acting it out kinda ruins the illusion of the film. Frost stumbled upon an epiphany that would forever ruin movies moving forward.n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om

* * *

In the bathing scene, after having huddled with the Demi-human cat girl, they evacuated as Frost screamed that there was a Corrupted. The prop spider plopped into the water as the girl clutched onto the polaroid.

“… this is… a polaroid?” Frost could hardly believe the object she held in her hands. “Wait a second. Is that me!?”

The slippery, square-shaped object even had an image on it. When Jury approached and glanced down at it, she cocked her head and wondered what it was. Then, with a flushed face, Jury swiped the photo and slipped it between her breasts.

“Reshoot!”

“I’ll be the ones making the –!”

“I SAID RESHOOT!” Jury cut the Director off, keeping Frost’s picture for herself.

“… alright. CUT! Snap you 8-legged pervert!”

* * *

“Jury… Um… Er… Listen. I think I’ve missed you a little too much.” Frost spoke uncharacteristically sheepishly, as if she was struggling to find words.

She knew exactly what this throb in her heart was. But she didn’t know how to convey it.

“Mhm. Me too. There were books I read in the Library. Many, many books. I always thought how nice it would have been if you were also there with me. The Archivist showed me one book that I fell in love with.” Jury looked up to the Nexus, and then, stared down at Frost with a beautiful smile.

“Oh? What book was it?”

“That’s a secret~” Jury teased, causing Frost to seem a little… unsatisfied. But that changed when she felt something warm and slightly wet touch her cheek.

“Huh…?” Frost whispered in disbelief.

Jury kissed her. She pecked her and retreated with a small hum, leaving Frost somewhat bewildered as she placed a hand on the freshly damp spot.

“Too bad this is all we can do~” Jury hummed disappointedly.

“Are you really going to go off script because of that?” Frost growled right as Jury seized her hands. “U-Uh… Right here? Er… be gentle, please?”

“Director! Can we rewire the script so I can take Frost now and not in the City of Hearts Arc!? I can’t wait until Wharftow! No? Well too bad –!”

“CUT!”

* * *

“You know, where the hell has Iscario been for over 200 sessions?” Frost had to ask.

“Dunno. Iscario’s pretty camera shy.” Carpalis said, munching on an ice cream. “Oooh~ Brain freeze. Hey! Did you get the new Nexus Kart? Heard it’s got all of us in it!”

“I prefer Nexus Brawl.” Frost said with folded arms. “Smashing’s pretty fun.”

“Let’s hope no one takes that out of context.” Carpalis stuck her tongue out cutely.

* * *

In the Wharftow arc, all that could be heard was the constant creaking of a bed coming from Frost’s dressing room.

“… how many times does Jury want to reshoot this scene?” The Director sunk into his seat like a shriveled skeleton.

“She just said ‘yes’.” Cer shrugged. “Snap. Enhance. Use the Xray vision.”

* * *

A Herald took the script in their hands and tore it piece by piece.

“Fuck the Scripts. But I won’t lie. It’s a pretty ingenious way to let us have our lines while in the scene. If you’re watching this, any time you see someone holding a Script just know that they couldn’t be bothered memorizing their lines.”

* * *

These were only some of the shenanigans going on behind the scenes of the grand theatrical that is Nexus Awakened. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go and continue filming. Until next time! –

– Snap.