Chapter 6

Rhainne Jhammira Alethea Lopez

Two weeks had passed quickly

Lagi nila akong nakikita na kasama ang tatlong makulit na yon. I see jealousy in their eyes and I don't know why.

One week ng walang paramdam si Old man and he didn't even bother to update us, especially me.

Can't he see that I'm worried. Damn that.  How could they know nga naman. I couldn't even express myself—it's so hard.

Kung ano ano ng ginagawa namin—nila pala laging nasa bahay ang tatlong makulit. Ayaw akong hiwalayan. Kala mo naman mawawala ako.

"Ulan oh ayaw nila sumama "  inis na turan ni Amrielle

Nag tatalo nanaman sila kung saan sila pupunta after class. Friday ngayon at nag aaya ang babaeng to mag bar

She’s driving me crazy. She knows how much I hate being around loud, nonstop chatter, yet here she is, talking endlessly right beside me. She knows how badly I need peace, and still, she fills the air with noise, as if my discomfort doesn’t matter at all.

"Stop being so noisy Amrielle! Kung nandito si Zhera I'm sure hindi ka nanaman noon hahayaang malapitan si Ulan!" pag saway dito ni Jenaiah

Wala na siyang ibang ginawa kundi ang kulitin at daldalin ako. Sometimes I'm bursting out to her pero this bitch was so unbothered.

"Ang bad niyo. Dali na kasi. Ngayon na nga lang tayo mag bar eh "  pangungulit niya pa

I stopped drinking at ibinabalik nanaman nila ako sa lugar na matagal ko ng iniiwasan.

I love drinking though—I felt comfortable in that but Zhera told me that it wasn't good for me lalo na't I was taking some meds

"Amrielle, it's not good for Ulan so stop already."  Jenaiah said

"If you want to go to a bar, we’ll join you, but we won’t drink," sagot naman ni Rayla na ngayon ay busy sa cellphone niya. Kanina pa siya diyan.

"Ano yon? Ako lang iinom. There's no fun"- tampong sabi ni Amrielle

"Don't manipulate her to get what you want, Amrielle. You know Ulan will give in to that," Rayla warned, her gaze steady.

Yeah, she's right. They’re my Achilles' heel. Amrielle glanced at me  with pleading eyes. "Ulan, please. Just this once."

Damn it, she knew exactly how to exploit my weakness. I might project a cold exterior, but beneath it lay a person I could only reveal to these three in the room with me.

I rolled my eyes on her before agreeing

"Fine" I shortly answered but I know that answer would make her happy. I just want them to be happy.

"Bakit ka pumayag?"  Rayla said

Here she is again. Being an ate to me

I know that she'll get mad kasi inuna ko nanaman sila bago ako but what can I do. I just want the best for them. I'm selfless, only on them.

I guess this is a trauma response.

"You know na hindi ko kayo kayang tiisin. Besides minsan lang yan makulit "

She looked at me, not convinced.

She's not convinced by what I've said

"Hindi matiis? Lagi mo kaming inuuna kesa sa sarili mo and I hate it. You know that Zhera wouldn't like it" baling nito saakin "and you, you should be thankful kasi wala pa dito si Zhera kasi kung hindi you'll be on your knees again!" Galit na baling naman nito kay Amrielle

Napabuntong hininga naman ako ng nagtalo pa ang dalawa.

______

"Wohhh shot na Ulan " - Pangungulit ni Amrielle

This bitch. She's already drunk.

"Stop it Rielle. Ayaw nga ni Ulan "- Saway naman ni Jenaiah

What can we do? Mahirap pigilan ang lasing.

This is the reason why I hate seeing her drunk. She's too noisy and naughty kung noong hindi siya lasing ay makulit na siya ngayon naman ay dumoble ito.

"KJ Super Apoy. Lika na nga lang mami Rayla dun tayo mag papakalasing " she said at hinila na si Rayla papuntang dance floor

"Bakit ka kasi pumayag sa gusto non "

"Because I'm a good friend?"

"Ulan. Hindi sa lahat kelangan mong gawin ang mga ayaw mo. Kelan ka ba matututong hindian kami? You know what maybe we should tell Zhera to go here already" seryosong sabi ni Jenaiah

Sila lang ang meron ako kaya hanggat kaya kong ibigay ibibigay ko

I can't lose them just because hindi ko sila napagbigyan although I know that they're not like that. I just want to spoil them.

I’m terrified of losing them. My mind spirals into this dark, nonstop storm of negativity, and no matter how hard I try, it always finds a way to consume me.

"I don't know"

Giving everything seems the best option than not to give enough.

____

Masyadong nakakailang kung paano tumingin si Prof Alvares. Hindi ko mawari kung sinusuri niya ba ako o ano

"Hoy nakatulala ka diyan" pang iistorbo ni Rayla sakin

Eto nanaman sila. Nakakainis. They've been pestering me. Yun nga naman ang purpose nila.

"Lolo, he wants to have dinner"

"Oh? Nandito si Lolo? Kelan pa ? "- Rayla said

Kung kelan isang linggo na siya dito saka niya lang ako naisip na tawagan, that damn old man. He better explain to me what's happening.

But one thing is bothering me. Are we really going to stay here forever? The thought of seeing them again twists something deep inside me.

"Week ago"

I've been waiting for his response and I get nothing for a week

I'm not mad I'm just pissed kasi kahit isang reply hindi niya magawa. I tried asking my butler and everyone but they all said they didn't know or maybe he doesn't want me to know. What is your plan Old Man?

It's breaktime at nandito nanaman kami sa cafeteria.

"Ali!" tawag saakin ng taong isa rin sa mga makukulit. For Pete's sake, when will I experience peace again.

I glance at their table na katabi lang ng table namin. What a coincidence again or is it even coincidence?

I mentally chuckled because of that thought

Lumipat naman ang taong tumawag saakin ng upuan kung saan malapit sa upuan at table namin.

"Fiinally, I saw you. You're too busy with your friends" turan nito

"Why? Are you gonna say something?"

" Oh nothing. I just miss my little sister "

I continue eating at hindi na sumagot pa sa sinabi niya

I couldn't think right because there's someone looking at me weirdly. I see pain and longing in her eyes, it's so weird. Laging ganyan siya tumingin masyadong nakakabahala.

Idagdag mo pa ang propesorang tila may lihim na galit saakin sa talim ng tingin nito.

What's with them? Did I do something? As far as I know I didn't do anything to them!

Uwian na at naunang umuwi ang tatlo. Those bitches iniwan ako dahil excited pumunta sa bahay ni Lolo. Ready talaga silang ipag palit ako kay Lolo.

"Ano ba Rafael! Bitawan mo nga ako ! I told you it's a NO diba? Bakit ba ang pilit mo? " someone said

Her voice is familiar.... Oh come on I just wanted to go home. Ayokong makinig sa pagtatalo ng kung sino man.

"Fuck it, naman Celine! Bakit ba hindi nalang ako! You think I'll let you go? NO! Akin ka lang, Akin. Walang ibang makakakuha sayo." galit na sigaw ng lalaki

Yes you heard it right that the girl's voice came from Miss Presley, my older sister best friend. Well kung ano man meron sila ng lalaking kausap niya ngayon labas nako doon.

I was about to walk away when I heard a loud noise. Damn para lagabog yon.

"Wag kang lalapit sakin! Bitawan mo ako! Let me go Rafael!" - rinig kong sigaw ni Miss Presley

Nag mumuka akong chismosa dito. I shouldn't care right? But why can't I help myself from eavesdropping? So much drama, damn.

"NO! AKIN KA LANG AT KUNG HINDI KA MAPAPASAKIN THEN HINDI KA AALIS DITO NG HINDI KA SAKIN" the Rafael guy said

So possessive. Why I was here anyway? Dapat dadaan lang ako hindi ba? My mind was telling me to walk away from here and stop eavesdropping but why does my body says the opposite?

"Aalis na ako Rafael. Please lang bitawan mo na ako dahil nasasaktan na ako. Stop forcing me na hayaan kang ligawan ako. I said no already. I have my priorities" kalmadong sagot naman ni Miss Presley

Yeah right I should go ahead now. Eavesdropping in this situation is not right and I shouldn't care about their fight.

"Ayaw mo talaga?"

Kaya naman pala nilang mag usap ng mahinahon eh. I look like a fool na nakatayo dito at nakatingin sa pinto na hindi ko pa binubuksan pero hawak ko na ang doorknob. How problematic they are, that guy is really pathetic.

I was here sa music room ng university. Tanaw na tanaw ko ang kinaroroonan ng dalawa and I can see how that Rafael guy holds Miss Presley wrist, ang higpit.

Well probably hindi nila napansin na nadito ako dahil sa dilim ng pwesto ko. Para akong nanonood ng sine ngayon dahil sa mga nakikita ko. Too much drama, I hate drama.

"I have to go Rafael. I'm sorry but my answer is still a no" Miss Presley said at pinipilit na kunin ang kamay niya na ngayon ay hawak parin ng mahigpit ng lalakeng nag ngangalang Rafael

Hindi ako makagalaw sa kinakatayuan ko dahil sa nakikita ko. Why? I'm afraid of what's going to happen to her. Kinakabahan ako sa mangyayari sakanya. I'm worried about her. Something's wrong with me. Why did I care? This isn't me. I shouldn't care about her hindi ba?

"Ouch" hinaing ni Miss Presley dahil sa pag tulak sakanya ng malakas ng Rafael na iyon, napaupo rin siya sa sahig dahil sa lakas ng impact ng pag tulak sakanya. Damn this Rafael guy. I want to kill him because of what he does. How dare him lay his fingers on her.

"I told you diba? Akin ka lang " - Rafael said at umupo para magkaharap sila ni Miss Presley na ngayon ay nakaupo parin at tila nahihirapang tumayo.

My fist are folded. Nararamdaman ko rin ang onti onting pagbaon ng kuko ko rito.

"Ilang beses ko bang sasabihin sayo na ayoko sayo Rafael" Miss Presley bravely said pero hindi makakaila ang kaba na nananaig sa mga mata nito. I know that she's afraid of what that guy might do to her lalo na at mukang wala na ito sa matinong pag iisip.

Nararamdaman ko ang takot niya ng hawakan siya nito. Damn.

I was stunned sa mga sumunod na nangyari.

Rafael kissed Miss Presley's neck na siyang kinagulat nito kaya naman natulak niya ito

"Ang bango mo talaga kahit kelan Allisha " mala manyak na sabi nito at ngumiti ng nakakaloko

Yuck, nakakadire. I wanted to puke. Curse him to death. He's harassing her.

"La-layuan mo ko"  Miss Presley said, struggling to utter a word. It's too obvious that she's nervous.

Halata sakanyang natatakot siya sa maaaring gawin sakanya ng Rafael na yon. Lumapit ulit si Rafael and it ripped Miss Presley's polo. Fuck it. I think he deserves to die.

Hindi ko magawang gumalaw dahil ako ang nakakaramdam ng takot sa nangyari at para sakanya.

And this feeling is new. Being afraid of what might happen to someone, again.

Mahigpit na hinawakan ng lalaking iyon si Miss Presley, forcing her to do something. Harassment. Damn bitch.

I couldn't take it. I see fear in Miss Presley's eyes as she starts to cry and trembles out of fear

She's asking for help but it seems that no one can hear her except me. Sound proof ata itong music room.

I start walking towards them

When Miss Presley saw me her eyes were asking for help. This Rafael man is busy, busy sa pang ha-harass sakanya to the point na hindi niya naramdaman ang presensya ko.

Her piercing eyes were replaced by fear and nervousness.

Damn him, he's touching her in her legs. I don't know what comes into my mind at sumali ako sa eksena nila. I couldn't take it nandidilim ang paningin ko.

I grab him and throw him kaya naman napalayo siya kay Miss Presley. He was about to stand up pero hindi ko na hinayaang mangyari yon at agad ko siyang sinipa ulit dahilan para mapaupo siya and I punched him so hard. Fuck him. I grab my dagger na nasa bulsa ko  at hiniwa siya sa pisngi making him scream, tsk weak. Isang hiwa palang kung makasigaw kala mo ikakamatay niya. I flashed my evil smirk.

What a waste. Nilapitan ko sya at kinuha ang damit niya at pinunas dito ang dagger na ginamit ko. Yuck nakakadire ang dugo niya amoy mabubulok sa impyerno—kasama ko.

"Si-sino ka?" Nauutal nitong tanong, habang nakatingin saakin na parang takot na takot

I gave him a smirk

"MANANAGOT KA SA GINAWA MO!" sigaw nito saakin, napahawak naman ako sa tenga ko.

One of the noisy people.

I punch him once again. I felt satisfied.

"Okay?" Sagot ko ng makita itonh namimilipit sa sakit

Lumapit ako kay Miss Presley na ngayon ay nakaupo at nanginginig.

Paano nalang kung wala ako.

Naupo ako para pumantay sakanya, she's holding her ripped polo na sinira ng demonyong nag ngangalang Rafael na ngayon ay hawak parin ang pisngi at tyan niya.

She's looking at me while she's crying. Maybe na trauma siya dahil sa ginawa ng lalaking iyon.

I'm acting like I am not myself. What's happening to me?

"Here"

Inabot ko sakanya ang jacket ko. Kinuha niya naman agad at pilit na sinusuot ngunit parang wala siyang lakas na gumalaw

Hayst, I just want to go home. Bakit naman nandito ako ngayon sa sitwasyong to.

Ano pa nga bang magagawa ko I help her wear the jacket and tinulungan siyang tumayo cause she's struggling. Nang mahawakan ko siya ay nanginginig parin siya. I see fear in her eyes. I felt pity. Naawa ako. This is new.

Is this part of healing?

Bago ko siya hilahin pa alis ay binalikan ko ang Rafael guy na hanggang ngayon ay hindi parin makatayo ng maayos

"Tsk you're struggling already? Hindi pa yon sapat " I kick him and hit on his face for the last time at hinila na paalis si Miss Presley na patuloy paring nanginginig.

And why do I feel like I cared for her? Is this even right?

Paano nalang kung walang tao don? Anong pwedeng mangyari sakanya?

Why do I feel hurt? Why do I feel anger? Why do I feel guilty? Damn.

I don't know how to comfort her. Nandito kami ngayon sa office niya at nakaupo lang siya at nakatulala ngunit patuloy sa pag agos ang mga luha niya.

"I'll go ahead now Miss Presley" paalam ko sakanya at tinignan ang wrist watch ko. Malapit na akong malate sa dinner

My mind was too occupied by her. I hate how I felt like I wasn't myself towards her. I felt this unfamiliar feeling like I'm comfortable with her.

"W-wait" finally she speaks, ganito pala ang pakiramdam pag hindi sumasagot ang kausap mo, nakakainis.

I look at her and she's trying to go near me but I can see na nanghihina siya. Damn I can't resist helping her. I felt that she's too important to me pero hindi ko alam kung bakit?

Hindi ko alam pero parang kusang gumalaw ang katawan ko at tinulungan siya as I saw her struggling to stop me from leaving

"Please do-dont leave me, na-natatakot ako. Please I-I know that you do-dont want here but please wag mo-mo a-akong iwan please" she said while sobbing, and then it hit me. I felt pain in my heart seeing her crying, why? Just why do I feel like this?

I hush her. I don't really know what I was doing. She hugged me at hindi ko ito magawang tanggalin. I don't know why but the only thing I know is that I feel the comfort from her

"I'll stay with you"  my mouth suddenly said, kahit ako nagulat sa sinabe ko

I was confused by my sudden actions. I shouldn't be like this but here I am being like this

Nag patuloy lang siya sa pag iyak sa shoulder ko. Currently nakaupo kami ngayon sa couch dito sa office niya. She was crying for damn fucking 30minutes.

"Sa-sama ako sayo pauwi" umiiyak nitong turan

Sasama sakin pauwi?

"What? No. I'll call my sister para samahan ka niyang umuwi" I said at tumayo ako pero hinila niya ang kamay ko kaya napatigil ako.

"Please, please pwede b-bang i-ikaw na lang?" nauutal niyang sabi

"You know that this isn't my business at all. You know that I shouldn't be here. You know that I'm done with this and for you to know I have something important to do so I can't let you "

Bakas sa reaksyon niya ang lungkot, takot, at sakit

And there she starts crying again pero pinipilit niyang wag ipahalata. I felt guilty. Stupid me again for saying those again. Kelan nga ba ako matuto na mag sabi ng mas maayos?

"Si-sige sa-salamat sa tulong" sagot niya naman

Damn

I felt guilty leaving her here. Hawak ko na ang doorknob pero hindi ko magawang umalis. May pumipigil sa loob ko, something's telling me to stay with her and bring her home. Not minding the dinner

"Sasamahan na kita sa bahay mo. Don't tell anyone about this." Siguro naman maiintindihan nila Lolo if late ako sa dinner.

Minsan ko lang siyang tulungan bakit hindi ko na lubuslubusin.

I don't know why I am feeling this but I felt comfort.........