Chapter 11

Rhainne Jhammira Alethea Lopez POV

It's been 2 weeks

Oh diba ang bilis ng panahon. Yung pasa ko pawala na I mean, there's still a little bit, but it's going to be gone soon, and the gunshot is fine now. There's only a scar, but I don't mind it. I'm using an ointment to make the scar disappear anyway.

Well, my life has been going fine lately; everything seems to be going right. I don't know why I've been happy too.

The nightmares—they don’t haunt me like they used to. The guilt that once gripped my chest, suffocating me, is finally loosening its hold, slipping away slowly like sand through my fingers. I don't embrace it anymore, not with the same desperation, not with the same self-inflicted punishment.

The anger—it's still here, but it’s different now. It's quieter, more controlled. I can face it without it drowning me, without it tearing me apart from the inside. I no longer let it consume me entirely. I can handle it, tame it, even if it still simmers beneath the surface.

The pain—it's fading, little by little, like a distant echo. Sometimes it hits me, sharp and sudden, a reminder of all I’ve lost, of all I’ve endured. But now, I don’t shrink from it. I don’t let it take over like I used to, not like before when I couldn’t trust myself to hold it together. I’ve learned to live with it, to let it be a part of me without letting it define me.

I'm still healing. But the weight isn’t as heavy as it once was. And for the first time in a long while, I feel like I might finally be free.

I often find myself consumed by regret, wondering what might have been if I had arrived here sooner. For so long, I let bitterness cloud my heart, wasting precious time in a world full of love in so many forms, so many unexpected ways. It’s as if I was blind to the beauty that surrounded me, unable to see that love was always there, waiting to heal the scars I refused to acknowledge. Now, I can only wish I had embraced it sooner, before the years slipped away, lost to my own fears and doubts.

"Ulan ano order mo?"- Amrielle

Oh right nasa cafeteria kami ngayon. Well ngayon nalang ulit kami nag kasabay kumain. They've been so busy lately at kung ano iyon bahala na sila, joke they're busy with school works pati narin ng iba pa nilang ginagawa sa buhay niya like games or sports. Ewan ko ba sa tatlong to mahilig pumasok sa kung ano anong bagay but it's their decision naman and besides hindi naman ako yung mahihirapan, sila naman yon

"I want pasta"

"What pasta ba? Maraming pasta don"-Amrielle

"Carbonara"

"Drinks?"- Amrielle

"Buko shake"

"Okay"

"Oy ulan nandiyan na si babe mo"- Jenaiah said habang tinitignan ang mga taong kakapasok palang sa cafeteria.

"Damn, she's beautiful," I thought, my breath catching in my throat. But then I realized, that word—beautiful—it didn’t even come close. It was like trying to capture the ocean in a teacup. She was something beyond beauty, something that words couldn’t hold. It wasn’t just the way she looked—though, yes, her eyes were deep, almost mesmerizing, and her smile, when it graced her lips, felt like the sun breaking through a storm. But it was more than that.

There was an energy about her, a presence that made everything around her seem distant and irrelevant. It was the way she moved with such effortless grace, like every step was in rhythm with something ancient, something timeless.

She wasn’t just beautiful—she was something else, something that made my heart ache with love I didn’t even know how to name. What's this unfamiliar feeling?

"Stop it, she might hear you"

I didn't mean to be close to her everytime. It's her fault kaya lagi niya ko napapansin kaya ayan pinag patuloy ko pang aannoy sakanya, lagi ba naman akong iniirapan at sinusungitan kala mo pinaglihi sa sama ng loob eh.

"Nakatingin sayo Ulan"- Rayla

"Will you both shut up? You're assuming some things"- hindi ako delulu, hindi talaga

"WHAHAHA Ayaw mo lang ng inaasar kay Ms. Presley eh"- sabay na sabi ng dalawa at nag apir sa isa't isa.

I rolled my eyes on them at hinintay na dumating si Amrielle. Ayoko lang makinig sa pang aasar ng dalawa and I'm sure that once Amrielle is back she'll do the same...........not unless tutukan ko sila ng baril pero syempre hindi natin gagawin. I'm trying not to be brutal you know.....

Nang makarating si Amrielle ay nag focus nalang ako sa pag kain. Ayoko talagang makinig sa usapan ng tatlo, bahala sila diyan

" Hoy Ulan kanina ka pa tahimik"- sita ni Rayla

What now? I know na mang aasar at mangungulit lang sila so what's the point of speaking

"What? I don't have something to say. Let me be at peace just for once"

"Once ka diyan hoy 2weeks tayong di nag kasabay sa gantong bagay. 2weeks, you have your peace and that's enough hindi bagay sayo mag karoon ng boring na buhay. Pero hindi naman talaga boring ikaw ba naman lagi mo kinukulit si Miss Pres--"- bago pa matuloy ni Amrielle ang kadaldalan niya ay nilagyan ko ito ng donut na binili niya, deserve. Buti nga hindi ko pinalunok sakanya eh

"Hoy bakit mo naman pinakain sakin yung donut!"- inis na sabi nito matapos niya alisin ang kalahati ng donut sa bunganga niya, yung kalahati naman kinain niya.

"You're too noisy in my peaceful life. Why? Donut isn't enough ba? Do you want my shuriken and dagger to be in your mouth?"- I jokingly said pero bakas sa muka ni Amrielle ang pag aalinlangan, takot at kaba. This bitch matapang lang pag nanggagago

"Jo-joke lang naman. Sabi ko nga kakain nalang ako"- sagot niya at kinain nalang ang mga pagkain na inorder niya, bwesit to beer ang drinks niya. Gago talaga

"Where did you get that?"- turo ko sa can ng beer

"Dala ko, bakit?"

"Do you know what place is this?"- I seriously said at pinakita ang muka kong bored look

"Huh? School? University? Academy?"

"Yes. So do you know that is not allowed here? Have you lost your mind?"

Namumutla na siya. Kinakabahan.

What she's thinking?! The hell she's messing up again!. I don't wanna ruined my mood because of the beer that she's holding but oh god I'm not irresponsible like that and she knows that I hate irresponsible people.

"Ah eh sabi ko nga Lead hehehehe nag kamali lang sorry my false"- sagot niya at tinago ang can ng beer at pinag patuloy ang pagkain niya

Minsan na nga lang siya makasabay sa pag kain nag dala pa ng beer

"No. Give me that"- I said

HAHAHAH iinumin ko sayang naman nang pag puslit niya kung di naman maiinom diba

"Ha? Lead? A-anong gagawin mo?"

"Bibigay sa Dean"

They stared at me in shock

Gosh seryoso ba sila?

I was just joking

"Le-Lead naman"- kinakabahang sagot ni Amrielle... HAHAHAHA asar talo

Hindi ko nalang siya pinansin at umalis na. So where should I go? Rooftop I guess

Mahangin

Tahimik

Malamig

Tanaw ang buong paaralan

Peaceful.....is it really peaceful or just relaxing?

Inilabas ko ang bote ng beer ni Amrielle kanina great, just great.

Kelan ba ulit matatawag na peaceful ang tahimik na lugar? Why does everything feel so wrong even though it seems so right?

What a thought again?

Lagi na lang ba ako pangungunahan ng mga negatibong boses sa utak ko? Why does everything seem so heavy, again

Hanggang sa huli babalik pa rin ba ako sa kalagayan na to?

God please.......... don't let me repeat that phase again.... Don't let me repeat where my mind was so full of doubts and thoughts

Nag dadrama pa ako ng biglang tumunog ang cellphone ko kaya naman tinignan ko ito. Oh nag message siya? Weh? Is this real or is it just my hallucinations? Weh? The one and only Miss Celine Claire Presley texted me? This doesn't even seem so real, hindi talaga siya kapani paniwala

Hindi ko namalayang nakatitig pala ako sa cellphone ko nang bigla mag chat ulit ito

Celine Claire Presley

Stop staring at your phone. I said come to my office

Luh stalker yan?

Rhainne Lopez

K.

Don't mind my name on Facebook, nakakatamad kaya ilagay yung name kong super haba no. Kung bakit ako niyan ka chat? Kinulit ko kasi yan na maging friend kami sa Facebook, as far as I remember grabeng pamimilit ang ginawa ko bago ko siya mapapayag at tigilan siya hehehehe

Pero bakit ba ako pinapatawag netong professor na to? Miss niya na agad ako. Hayst I already know that no one can resist me, joke.

"What took you so long?"- bungad sakin ng dragon joke ni Miss Presley pala

Sungit

"Rooftop po ako galing Miss, what do you expect po ba? I can't fly just to get here as fast as you want me to be. Sana po sinabe niyo na gusto niyo nang mabilis para tumalon nalang ako"- I said kaya naman sinamaan ako nito ng tiningin at inirapan

Attitude talaga.

Ako dapat nag susungit dito pero mukang mas masungit siya.

"You know what I hate you. I hate the way you answer me. I change my mind I don't need you na. Go back to where you want to be"- pagtataboy nito saakin. Luh nang iistorbo tapos wala naman palang importanteng sasabihin

Hindi na lang ako nag salita at umalis na. Bahala siya diyan, nakakainis pang iistorbo niya. Very wrong timing

Bumalik nako sa room kasi next class na namin. Good thing naman pala na tinawag niya ko eh.

___

"Hoy san ka galing"- Amrielle said, ayan nanaman siya

"Rooftop"

"Anong ginawa mo don?"

"Tatalon" - I said kaya binatukan ako ni Rayla, aray ko

Siraulo to

So serious, I was just joking bitch

"Mapanakit ah"

"Talagang masasaktan sa sa mga sinasabe mo"- she said and cross her arms wow taray sino ka diyan

Ramdam ko ang pag tahimik nila at ng buong klase kaya naman napatingin ako sa unahan....oh our Prof is here na pala..... Prof Alvares.... Nakakailang talaga siyang tawaging Prof Alvares it feels like I'm calling my self even though I'm a Lopez

"Good Afternoon everyone"- she said in soft voice

She really has a soft voice no wonder why everyone here in class adores and respects her

"Good Afternoon Miss Alvares"- masiglang bati naman ng lahat

Nag simula na siyang mag turo at nag simula na rin siyang mag parecitations and activity.......

"Class dismissed"

Mabilis naman natapos ang dalawang oras niyang activity at ngayon siya ay nag liligpit na ng kanyang gamit na napaka dami

"Ma'am tulungan ko na po kayo"- alok ng isa kong kaklase na sa pag alala ko ang pangalan ay Nics? Tumango naman si Miss Alvares tsaka ngumiti. She really loves to smile, hindi ba siya nangangawit kakangiti niya?

Why do I even bother noticing her smile.

"Hoy ano tutulala ka nalang ba diyan?"- Singit naman ni Jenaiah, ako? tulala? I was just observing, nasabihan pang tulala

"Whatever"- sagot ko at kinuha ang bag ko, sumakto pa na kasabay namin ang Professor at ang kaklase ko. Tapos ang kukulit at iingay pa ng kasama ko

"Ulan! G ka ba?"- G? Nanaman? Gagala nanaman sila? Hindi ba sila napapagod?

"Where?"

"Hindi ka nanaman nakikinig"- Rayla said halata sa boses niya ang pag kainis

"XyLo"- Jenaiah said

Hindi ba nila ramdam na nakatingin sa gawi namin ang Professor? Gosh these people are talking about bar while still in university and kasama pa namin ang Professor dito sa elevator

"K"- tipid kong sagot

"Wow hindi ka komontra ha that's new"- biro ni Amrielle

"Do I look like have a choice? Pag humindi ako kukulitin niyo ko"- asik ko naman dito na siyang kinatawa ng tatlo. Crazy

This bitches ain't getting tired

"WHAHAHAHAH buti alam mo"- Rayla

"Malamang kilala ko kayo"- pagtataray ko dito

"Pero are you dumb? Balak niyo bang sirain atay niyo?"

"Hoy anong sirain ginawa mo naman kaming lasinggera. Have you forgotten that we are so busy for 2 weeks so we didn't have break and ngayon lang ulit!"- asik ni Amrielle, natrigger yung anger issue pag pasensyahan niyo na

Oo nga naman, why didn't I think of that. Sabagay ako lang naman ang chill sa buhay nung mga nakaraang linggo. I don't have interest kasi in taking more responsibility. Masyadong marami nakong inaasikaso at ayoko nang dagdagan ito

Learn how to stop when you can't do it anymore

"Oh Do we have next class?"- I asked, hanggang ngayon kasi di ko memorize yung schedule namin

"Wala naman na. So let's go home and pahinga para later"- Jenaiah said kaya naman tumango nalang ako

Naka labas na kami kanina pa sa elevator buti naman.

Uuwi na kami sa BAHAY ko, nakitira na ang tatlo eh dun na daw sila mag stay kakapal ng muka

Nasa parking lot na kami at ang mga bruha nasa unahan lang nakapark and me? damn nasa dulo pa ang kotse ko lagi nalang nakakainis. Oh diba yayaman ng mga bruha may kanya kanyang kotse, spoiled brats.....

Amrielle is the only child, Rayla has two brothers which spoil her so much, and Jenaiah has two sisters and one brother sya ang bunso so no wonder why they adore her. Me? Nevermind

"Fvck bakit ba kasi lagi ako nasa dulo nakakapark. Can't this university make me a special parking lot"- bulong ko sa sarili.... It's fine talking to yourself sometimes wag ka lang tumawa mag isa iba na yon eh

Nang makalapit ako sa car ko ay nakita ko naman sa katabing car ko si Miss Presley na mukang namomroblema sa gulong, yan deserve

"Not now, gosh fvck it."- rinig kong bulong nito. I just shrugged and pumasok na sa kotse ko. Bahala siya diyan pag katapos niya ko pag sungitan

Inistart ko na ang kotse ko ng biglang may kumatok sa bintana. Luh? Ano kelangan niyan

"C-can I have a-a ride?"- tanong naman nito

Feeling close yan? Joke

"Huh?"- maang maangan kong sagot. HAHAHAHA let's test your patience miss.

"Haist nevermind"- she coldly said at tumalikod

"Okay. Bye Miss goodluck"- pang aasar ko pa, inirapan naman ako nito. Taray talaga. Kinaganda mo yan?

"Really? You're gonna leave me here?"- pag tataray pa nito. Special ka ba?

"What do you think miss? I'm not going to waste my time here"- ngiti kong sabi na siyang kinapula niya. Namumula sa galit, sige ganyan nga magalit ka

"I really hate your guts, Lopez"- asik nito at inirapan nanaman ako. Hindi ba siya napapagod kakairap ng mata? Kaya ko namang panatilihing puti ang mata niya buong mag damag.....sa ka--, oh shut up self.

"I love you Miss"- sagot ko na kinagulat niya, luh? Ano ba nakakagulat don?

"You can ride me miss"- dagdag ko pa para asarin siya, namumula naman na ang pisngi niya cute

"W-what?"- nauutal netong tanong. Kaya ansarap niyang asarin eh

"I said you can ride with me po Miss Presley"- sabi ko sabay ngiti sakanya

"So saan po bahay niyo Miss?"- tanong ko kasi pano ko siya maihahatid kung di ko alam bahay niya

"Evergreen"- maiksi nitong sagot. Evergreen huh exclusive village in this city. She's rich huh......that village was same with them, my family. I hope that fate wouldn't let me have an encounter with them. Just please don't.... I'm taking a risk by driving Miss Presley home.

Buong byahe naman itong tahimik kaya nanahimik na rin ako. The fuck ngayon ko lang naisip na ang layo ng ruta ng bahay ko sa bahay niya, damn it. Sino bang umiiwas sa pamilya ang magpapagawa ng bahay malapit sakanila diba?, kung ganon lang rin naman edi sana nag patayo ka nalang ng bahay sa tabi ng bahay nila.

"Miss saan po dito bahay niyo?"- tanong ko

"Lot 501"- she said. Buti naman at malayo sa bahay namin.

"Dito na po tayo Miss"- lumabas naman ito. Luh walang thank you?

Bumungad saakin ang Hindi kalakihang bahay but it's enough for a family. Kung diyan kami titira why not?

"Salamat Miss ha. Bye po"- sagot ko at umalis na. Wala man lang salamat or thank you

___

"Bat ngayon ka lang?"- Jenaiah na pinag buksan ako ng gate

"Tanong mo sa Professor natin"- sagot ko dito

"Huh?"

Makapagpahinga na nga mamaya pa naman sila mag XyLo eh.

Umakyat nako at magbihis, mamaya nalang ako maliligo. After kong magbihis ay nahiga na ako

"Ulan alis na ta--, hoy bakit tulog ka pa!"- nagising ako dahil sa ingay ng bruhang si Amrielle

"Tigilan mo ko Amrielle. Ang ingay ingay mo"- pag tataboy ko dito

"Hoy aalis na tayo! Bumangon kana diyan!"

"Mamaya na please lang. Susunod ako sainyo"- sagot ko dahil tinatamad pa talaga akong bumangon

"Siguraduhin mo lang talaga Ulan. Hihintayin ka namin don, bye"- sabi nito at tuluyang umalis. Anong oras na ba?

8:30 na pala great, gabing kay lasing nanaman. They're crazy pa naman when they're drunk.

Naligo na ako at nagbihis. I just wore a red sleeveless and a black skirt nag dala na rin ako ng leather jacket and a 3 inch heels. Okay na yan nakakatamad naman

(Author: tinamad ka pa sa lagay na yan?)

Epal.....

Ang ingay, magulo, mausok, crowded yan ang bumungad sakin pag kapasok ko sa bar.

Inilibot ko ang tingin at agad ko namang nakita ang tatlo

"What took you so long? Oh"- Jenaiah said at inabot agad sakin ang isang glass ng tequila hindi man lang ako hinintay na makaupo

"Really Jen? Binibigyan mo na agad ako? Nakakarami na rin kayo ng iniinom. Baka mamaya ako nanaman mag uuwi sainyo ha, your should pull yourself together ang hirap niyong bitbitin!"- I said at tinawanan lang ako ng tatlo, great bahala sila pag nalasing sila.

Hours had passed

Bumalik na sa table ang tatlo napagod na ata mag party....they look tipsy, I mean drunk. Mukang lasing na ang tatlo

"Hey bitches lasing na ba kayo?"

"I am not, yung dalawa oo"- Rayla said great buti naman para hindi ako nag iisang mag uuwi

"Great, Himala at di ka nag pakalasing"

"Tsk, uwi ko na yung dalawa ah mukang nag eenjoy ka pa eh"- biro nito at hinila yung dalawa. Talagang iniwan nila ako dito

Fine, ako nalang mag papakalasing.......

Pang ilang baso ko na ba to? Pang sampo? Pang eleven? Pang fifteen?

Nahihilo na rin ako nararamdaman ko na ang tama ng mga alak na ininom ko

"One shot of--"- hindi ko na natuloy ang sasabihin ko ng biglang may magsalita. Great there's always have an hindrance

"Miss Lopez, you're too drunk to drink another one"- great nandito pala ang Professor namin, no other that Miss Presley

"I can manage it. I wouldn't order another one if I couldn't. So leave me alone Professor we're not in university so let me do whatever I want to do"- asik ko at di na siya pinansin pa at umorder nalang ulit

I was about to drink it when someone snatched it from me, the fuck grabeng pag uugali yan kaya niya namang mag order di nalang umorder at inagaw pa sakin.

"Let's go home. Miss Lopez"- aya pa nito nanay ba kita Prof?

"No"- pag mamatigas ko

"No. Let's go home"- at bigla niya nalang akong hinila nang makarating kami sa parking lot ay agad naman itong pumasok sa kotse niya

"What? Aren't you gonna go inside?"

"I have my own car po miss"- pagmamatigas ko parin

Sinamaan nalang ako nito ng tingin at bumaba ulit sa kotse niya at hinila ako papasok

"We are going home"

"Home? Do you know where my home is?"- tanong ko

"No"

"Of course no one knows where my home is"- sagot ko naman, hindi naman sumagot ang Professor at nsgdrive nalang

My home is gone, a long long time ago.

" I want to go to the cemetery"- I said out of nowhere, di ko rin mapigilan ang sarili ko at mga sinasabe ko

"Huh? It's late in the evening and you wanna go to cemetary? Are you crazy?"- sermon niya pa

"I want there, that's my home"

"What are you talking about Lopez"

My home.... My home is at the cemetery

"You want me to go home then go to the cemetery"

Sinunod niya naman ang sinabe ko. Tinigil niya ang kotse at agad akong bumaba kahit umiikot ang paligid ko, great. I'm sure I'll regret this after. I'm here sa tapat niya, my home. It's been a long time since I have the courage to go here, to go in this place. Pag lasing lang pala ako may lakas ng loob na humarap dito.

"Hi..."- bati ko dito, parang tanga as if naman sasagot yan sayo Rhainne

"It's been a long time isn't it?"- I look stupid talking to this rock with his name written on it

"I-I'm sorry.... I'm sorry if in this situation pa kita nabisita. I'm sorry dahil ngayon lang ako nagkaron nang lakas ng loob na bisitahin ka. Did you wait for me? I didn't bring anything...I hope hindi ka nag tatampo sakin. Are you okay there? Are you happy? It's been a long time....but why? bakit nandito parin yung sakit. You know I hate seeing you here kaya hindi kita binibisita. I hate this place and I hate you........"- I paused for a moment and wiped my tears. Naramdaman ko ang isang tao na nasa likod ko pinapanood akong umiyak, Miss Presley. Drama

"I really hate you.....for leaving me. C-can I go with you? Sama na ako diyan. HAHAHA but anyway alam kong hindi ako papapasukin diyan. You know I still can't get back to them"- I said

It's almost 30 minutes and nakatitig lang ako dito, hindi rin nag sasalita yung kasama ko. I look weak. I looked lost. I looked empty. I looked gone.

"Let's go it's getting late"- finally nag salita na rin siya. She looked at me with full of wonders. I see confusion in her eyes

"Bye for now. I don't know kung kelan ulit ako magkakaron nang lakas ng loob na pumunta rito. I want to feel home with you. Thank you for a moment, I feel like I am in my home again"- mapait kong sabi bago kami tuluyang umalis

"That's your home?"- she asked and I nooded at her

Home is gone.....and I don't know how to get back

....

"Wake up Lopez"- someone said while tapping my shoulder

"Where are we? This isn't my house"- I asked, this house seems so familiar though

"This is my house, not yours"- she said oh that's why it's familiar

"I don't know where your house is kaya dito nalang kita dinala"- dagdag niya pa

Okayyyyyyyyy

Pag kapasok namin ay itunuro niya na saakin ang extra room niya ... I want to sleep. I'm tired already