Prologue

PROLOGUE

I was here in his grave, lahat ng tao umalis na at ako nalang ang nandito. I'm staring at his tombstone. I remember when his name was written on our business paper, not here.....not in this tombstone.

I'm not prepared. Hindi naman talaga ako prepared. I felt empty. I felt empty without him, without her and without myself.

I feel lost again, as if I'm adrift in a sea of emptiness, drifting without a compass to guide me. This time, though, it's different. I've come to understand something that cuts deeper than anything before-there's a part of me that can never be whole. No matter how many times I try to piece myself back together, to fill that gaping void inside, there's always a piece that slips away, just out of reach. It's as though I've become a puzzle with an irreplaceable missing piece, a part of me that was never meant to be found. And for the first time, I know it's something I can never fix, no matter how much I long to. That realization is both haunting and freeing, a truth that aches with every breath I take.

I blame myself. It's all my fault. Kasalanan ko lahat. If it wasn't my stupid decision dapat nandito pa sana siya. Nandito pa sila.

Iniwan niya na ako.....Iniwan na ako ng taong mahal ko and I know she already hate me na kahit gustuhin kong ibalik siya saakin ay hindi ko na magagawa. I feel hopeless, again.

Kasabay ng pag iwan niya saakin ang siyang pagkawala rin ng isang taong importante sa buhay ko. He sacrifice his life to save me, like he always do.

Sa loob ng 5 days of his funeral walang araw na hindi ako binabangungot dahil sa mga nangyari.

At paulit ulit lang iyon gabi gabi. Sometimes I don't want to sleep dahil alam kong mapapanaginipan ko nanaman iyon.

Kahit sa pagtulog ay hindi ako hinayaang makatakas. It's haunting me and I don't know how to stop it.

"I-I'm sorry. My conscience is hunting me" as I touch his tombstone "I should be the one who's down there not you. Dapat hindi mo sinalo ang balang para saakin. You should've just let me died that day" I paused and let a heavy sighs

All I could do is blame myself for everything.

"My life doesn't have worth anymore. She hates me now because I killed him. She saw it and she left me. I tried to beg on her pero desidido na siyang mawala ako. She cursed at me. She said that she hate me. Everything is my fault. Dapat bang hindi nalang ako bumbalik dito?. Dapat bang hindi nalang ako umuwi sa bansang to?"

"And you should stop blaming yourself" turan ng taong nasa likod ko.

I know who it is.

Rayla

"It's not your fault that you choose your family's safety. Hindi mo kasalanan kung bakit nandiyan siya" she said while pointing at his tombstone

"And it's not wrong to cry. Simula nung nangyari yon you never cry, release your emotions before it explode inside you"

At dahil sa sinabi niya it hit me. Did I really don't cry?

But how? Wala akong maramdaman. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit walang luhang lumalabas sa mata ko kahit na gustong gusto kong umiyak

"I wanna go home Rayla" I said

"Then let's go home. Umuwi na tayo kela Tita"

"No not there. I wanna go home-US" and there I said it

"You're gonna runaway again?"

"I-I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I lost everything." And there, lahat ng luhang hindi ko nailabas nitong mga nakaraang araw ay onti onting pumasada pababa ng pisngi ko

"I don't know who I am. I feel empty. My heart is empty. Wala na siya. Iniwan niya ako. She left me Rayla. I tried apologizing but she won't listen. Rayla l-lets go home." I said at onti onting nanghina ang katawan ko at kasabay non ang pagdilim ng paligid

___

Puting kisame-yan ang bumungad saakin.

"Oh god you're awake" si Rayla

"Hospital"

"You're over fatigue kaya ka nahimatay kahapon. Don't move, wag ka munang aalis diyan. I'll just call the doctor" at umalis na

Hindi naman nagtagal ay dumating na ang doctor kasama si Rayla. The doctor just checked me, said I'm fine at pwede na akong umuwi.

I was here in Rayla's car hinihintay siya kinakausap niya lang ang doctor.

I don't like this. I'm being weak. This is not me-not me at all.

"Stop staring me like that" sita nito saakin

I wasn't even know why I was doing that. Gusto ko siyang pakiuspan na dalhin ako kay Missis ko but I know she won't agree with me. Alam kong hindi niya gugustuhing pumunta ako doon.

"I-I....wanna go to-" I was cut off by her

She's not glaring at me

"Wanna go to her? Get yourself together Ulan. Babalik balikan mo parin ang taong nananakit sayo? She pushed you away many times, kelan ka ba gigising sa katotohanan?!" kalmado ngunit bakas sa boses nito ang inis at galit

Inis at galit sa taong mahal ko.

"I...I need her forgiveness..." I said in a low voice. I know anytime I'll fucking cry.

Bakit ba ang hina ko pagdating sakanya?

"Forgiveness that she doesn't want to give." Those words hit me like a crashing wave.

In that instant, my conscience surged like a storm, flooding my mind with all the guilt I'd buried. The tears I had been holding back, fighting to keep at bay, finally broke free-streaming down my face uncontrollably. Every drop felt like a reflection of the pain I had caused, and I could no longer hold the weight of it all.

"J-just this one, Rayla," I stammered, my voice barely above a whisper. "L-last one, I swear... A-and then I'll stop. P-please, l-let me. Just take me to her." My chest tightened, the weight of my desperation suffocating me.

Rayla's gaze softened for a moment. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as if weighing my words. A long, heavy sigh escaped her lips before she finally spoke. "Fine," she said, her voice quieter now, tinged with reluctance. "After this, we'll go home. Just like you promised yesterday."

I nodded, the slightest hint of relief flooding through me, but it was fleeting-swallowed up by the anxiety that still held me captive.

Namalayan ko nalang ang sarili kong andito sa tapat ng gate ng bahay niya.

"Ako na" Rayla said nang makita niyang nanginginig at nagdadalawang isip ako na pindutin ang doorbell

Hindi naman nagtagal ay bumukas ang pinto na mas lalong nagpakabog sa dibdib ko.

"Anong ginagawa mo dito?" she coldly said

I miss her

"I-I.."

Damn get yourself together, Rhainne.

Parang may nakabara sa lalamunan ko at hindi ako makapagsalita.

"What? What else is there to say?" she snapped, her voice like ice. Her eyes, once warm and inviting, were now cold and distant. "I don't need your explanation. I don't want it."

Her words cut deeper than any blade could. The sharpness of her tone carved through me, leaving nothing but raw, exposed pain. My chest tightened, an unbearable weight pressing down as if a dagger was being twisted deeper and deeper into my heart.

I tried to hold it together, but my body betrayed me. My hands trembled, my legs felt weak, and then the tears-those damn tears-spilled from my eyes without permission. They fell silently, soaking into my cheeks, each drop a testament to the ache she couldn't see.

My heart was a traitor too, still reaching out to her, even as she turned away. Still hoping, still breaking, even as she walked further from me-not just in steps, but in everything that had ever tied us together.

I was losing her. No-I had already lost her.

"L-Listen to me, please" I said-my breath was heavy as I reach for her hand but she harshly remove it and pushed me

"Sinabe ko na sayo diba! Umalis kana!" galit-galit ang nakikita ko sa mata niya

I cried. I begged. I kneeled. I plead. Many times already. Pero bakit hindi ako napapagod? I want her forgiveness. I want her back in my monochrome life-she was my color.

"You tried to kill him You almost killed my father! I saw it!" she screamed, her voice trembling with rage and heartbreak. Her eyes burned with fury, and yet, beneath the anger, there was something else-betrayal.

I could feel it. The hatred growing in her gaze, the distance that could never be bridged. And I knew, at that moment, she'd never look at me the same way again.

She took a shaky breath, trying to hold herself together. "At tapos na tayo," she said, her voice quieter but laced with finality. "I don't want to be the girlfriend of a killer. You're a psychopath! I hate your existence!" she shouted

Her words rang in my ears like a cruel, unending echo.

I don't want to be the girlfriend of a killer.

I don't want to be the girlfriend of a killer.

I don't want to be the girlfriend of a killer.

My knees buckled as her words gutted me. My chest ached, my breathing hitched, and the weight of what I had done crushed me.

"He killed him too!" I cried out, my voice breaking as I reached for her. "He killed the only man I had all my life, he killed something in me too! I know you're hurt-God, I know-but I'm hurting too! Mahal kita... please, let me prove to you na mali ang lahat. I didn't mean to shoot him-I didn't mean it! I-I didn't want any of this to happen!"

The tears streamed down my face, hot and relentless, as I felt Rayla's hands grasping my arm, trying to steady me. But I couldn't stop. My knees hit the floor, the impact is painful but insignificant compared to the agony tearing me apart inside.

"I-I love you," I choked out, my voice barely above a whisper now. My body trembled as I reached for her legs, clinging to her like she was my lifeline in a storm I couldn't weather. "Please... don't push me away. Don't leave me. Please, please..."

She looked down at me, her face unreadable except for the tears slipping silently from her eyes. Her lips quivered, but her voice, when it came, was ice-cold.

"Stay away from me-from us. I don't want to see your face. I hate you."

She shoved my arms away, and I couldn't stop her. I had no strength left to fight, no words to change her mind. When she pulled away, I collapsed to the ground, weak and broken.

The cold floor beneath me mirrored the emptiness spreading through my chest. She was my light in the darkness. My meaning. My last hope.

And now, she is gone.

"No-Missis ko, please," I called out, my voice trembling as I tried once more to catch her attention.

This time, she turned. Her gaze was cold, sharp enough to cut through my fragile hope.

"You should've died too." Her voice broke, trembling with pain and anger. "I... I hate you! I hate that I love you! You took his life! Do you know that? You took everything from me! You deserve to rot in hell!"

Her words pierced through me, leaving me breathless.

She was right. I should've died.

"W-would y-you b-be happy i-if I g-granted your w-wish?" I stammered, each word clawing its way out of my throat as if it didn't want to leave.

Her reply was instant, firm, and devastating. "Yes."

That one word crushed whatever was left of me.

She turned and walked away without looking back, slamming the door to their home behind her. The sound echoed in my chest like the closing of a coffin.

I felt hands on me-Rayla's hands. She was trying to help me stand, her voice urging me to move. I didn't resist. I couldn't. I let her guide me, her presence a fragile connection to reality as my world crumbled around me.

Before I realized it, I was in the car, staring blankly out the window. My mind was a battlefield of emotions, each memory a blade that cut deeper into my soul.

My tears fell silently, an endless stream that refused to stop.

Sometimes, it feels like every part of you is crying-your heart, your soul, even the air you breathe.

And now, once again, I was left alone.

I had lost another piece of myself.

Another missing piece. Another gaping hole where love used to be.

I'm broken before now I'm broken again. How many times does this world shatter me into pieces that I can't even attach?

Written By: FallenRheyn

This is my second story, di ko alam kung ano pumasok sa isip ko at nag paka author ako, well ang storyang ito ang gagawin ko lang ehhh paghalu-haluin o itype lang ang mga pumapasok na mga happenings sa brain cells ko

YUN LANG SANA MAG ENJOY KAYO

DISCLAIMER

Since the scenes in this novel are purely imaginary creations of mine, it has nothing to do with the real world. Everything is entirely made up. Any similarities or resemblances to previously published works are entirely coincidental and were not the author's intention.

Please be aware that some of the language may be offensive to younger audiences, including harsh language and cursing. In addition, there are adult themes, trigger warnings, and violence in this narrative. If any of these things bother you, stop reading right once.

Plagiarism is illegal.

Presenting someone else's ideas or work as your own, with or without their permission, by incorporating it into your work without giving due credit is known as plagiarism. This term encompasses all material, published or unpublished, in manuscript, printed, or electronic format. This story's premise, characters, and overall flow were all entirely made by ME. And nothing from this story may be copied by anybody. It's a crime to plagiarize.

Plagiarism is illegal.

PLEASE NOTE: - That this narrative is being written for my own enjoyment and not to honor the efforts of others, please! Please don't compare me to other authors if you don't like the way the tale is going; feel free to stop reading! Thank you, po!

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