Chapter 18

It’s been days since the incident and every day Roza would sit in the room —watching and waiting. Nikolai hasn’t woken up yet. Doctor Trevin encouraged Roza to continue speaking to Nikolai, so she talked to him about her life in the past three years and what she was feeling. She sat on the edge of his bed and held his large hand in her dainty ones as she looked at the corner of the room.

“One time when I was little — about five years of age, my father took me out fishing.” She giggled at the memory. “My father never fished in his life, but because I begged him to take me, he took me to a river nearby our home. My first cast, I hooked him in his favorite shirt and nipped his skin. After that, he refused to let me go. He said that I was lethal with hooks.”

She glanced back at Nikolai who was lying in bed, breathing evenly. She moved to cup his rough stubble on his jaw before speaking again. “I wish you would wake up soon, Nikolai. Over the past few days, I have had a lot of time to think about our relationship. I can see that harboring my resentment for you isn’t doing either of us any good. If you want to try, I am willing to try with you.”

When he still didn’t open up his eyes and continued to sleep, she wanted to cry. She cupped his cheeks and placed her forehead on his as she leaned over his body. Closing her eyes, she inhaled his scent and allowed the tingles to spread from where they were touching. It was enough to calm her because it was all she needed to know that he was still alive, even though he wasn’t awake.

“Did you hear what I just said, Nikolai?” She asked firmly. “I want to try. I want to give us a second chance.”

Her heart was in so much pain. She couldn’t bear seeing him like this. She wanted him alive and awake. She missed looking into his eyes. She missed hearing his voice. She even missed his presence. Closing her eyes tightly to stop the tears from escaping, she fought to control her emotions.

"Roza.”

Her eyes flew open and she was staring straight into Nikolai’s eyes. She couldn’t believe it. She even blinked a few times to see if she was imagining it.

“Nikolai!” She nearly shouted. He grimaced and closed his eyes. “Oh goddess, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to shout.”

“It’s okay.” He mumbled. She pulled back to really look at him. She saw him pushing up into a sitting position. She immediately helped him sit back. He leaned his head back against the headboard of the bed.

“Do you remember anything? How are you feeling? Are you okay? Should I get Doctor Trevin? Are you feeling any pain?” She asked as she moved closer to his body. He sighed and opened his eyes. She saw him looking around before turning in her direction.

“I’m okay. Why is it so dark?” He questioned in confusion.

Her face fell because it wasn’t dark. It was mid afternoon. Her heart stopped beating and she moved one hand to wave over his face. He didn’t follow it. He continued to look straight at her.

“Roza?” He asked when he didn’t hear her answer him.

“Nikolai...” She started.

“What is it?” He asked.

She moved closer and held his face in her hand. “Do you remember anything at all from before you went unconscious?”

He shifted a little closer to her and leaned into her touch. “I remember throwing you across the field.”

The corner of her lips lifted sadly. “Yes. A tree fell on you, Nikolai. You pushed me away from under the tree. You are infuriating, Nikolai. Why didn’t you let the tree fall on me?”

“Because I can’t lose you.” He whispered softly. Her heart twisted in her chest because she felt the same way. She couldn’t imagine losing him. These past few days were the darkest she has ever experienced. Nothing could cheer her up except him.

“What’s wrong with me?” His voice changed a little. Roza knew he was quickly catching on. She licked her lips and moved closer to him so that her hips were literally touching his.

“When we brought you back here, Doctor Trevin took you away to examine you. You had a few broken bones and-” She stopped.

“I can’t see.” He whispered. The look on his face broke her heart. He looked defeated and sad.

“It might only be temporary.” She quickly added. “Doctor Trevin said that it is different with supernatural beings. There are instances where werewolves are able to completely get their sight back because of the rapid cell regeneration.”

He sighed and removed his face away from her. “It is a good thing. I deserved it.”

Her eyes widened. How can he say such a thing? “Nikolai!”

He turned towards her voice. “I mean it, Roza. It might be the Moon Goddess’s punishment for me. I left you for three years and hurt you along the way.”

“Please don’t say that.” She pleaded.

“It’s the truth. It’s better this way. Maksim and you deserve better and the Moon Goddess doing this is a clear sig-” Her lips crushed his. It was the first time she has ever initiated the kiss, but she wanted him to stop talking like that.

It was only supposed to shut him up, but she couldn’t resist tugging on his lower lip, eliciting a groan from him. Her hands moved to the back of his head as she tilted her head to the side, to easily slip her tongue inside. His hands moved to be placed at her sides. Holding her there as she kissed him. The kiss to her silently told him how much she had missed him. Just how much she was happy he was alive and awake. When her tongue touched his he growled and moved his head forward to take over the kiss a little, but she pushed him back with her own.

The kiss could be endless, but slowly she pulled back to look at him. “Nikolai, it is not a punishment. You are still yourself. Losing your eyesight means nothing. Nobody deserves to be punished and you certainly don’t deserve to be. You and I might have done a few bad things in the past, but it doesn’t define who we are today.”

“Roza, you don’t deserve this. I told you I wanted to try and prove to you that I can be a good mate, but how can I when I am completely blind? I am no good to you or Maksim as a blind man. I can’t protect you or Maksim.” Nikolai reasoned his voice husky from the kiss.

She sighed and sat back down on the bed. She picked up his hand. “You don’t need your eyesight to prove to me you will try. You just need to be there. That is all that matters to me. I just need you to be honest. I don’t want you to hide anything from me. That is all that matters.”

It was the truth. Although she could deny it all she wanted. She wanted him and it was a waste of time for her to continue prancing around it. After seeing him hurt like this, she realized just how short life was. She has a pup with this man and the least she could do was try. If in the end, she ends up hurt again, at least she tried. That was what matters.

“You don’t underst-” Nikolai said in frustration.

“Nikolai, are you telling me that you don’t want me and that whatever you said in the past was all a lie? You really don’t want us to have a second chance, do you?” She questioned and his face molded into anger.

“That’s not what I meant, Roza!” He growled.

“Then do you want me?” She asked.

“Of course!” He snapped.

She smirked. “Then don’t throw me away again when I want to try.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it just to open it back up again. “Fine.”

Her smile grew. “Then we are trying.”

He sighed and ran a hand over his face. “I hope you know what you are getting yourself into.”

“I do.” She responded immediately.